Behind Closed Doors (17 page)

Jayce leaned back, looking at my face, while his arms remained looped around my waist.

“Don’t cry,” he whispered. “He’s gone now.”

Pulling out of his grasp, I rushed to the front door, bent down and picked up the roses that Brody had left. I brushed past Jayce and made my way to the kitchen, dropping the flowers in the garbage. Jayce followed me, standing in the doorway he spoke softly. “Are you okay?”

“No.” I answered stiffly.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m sad and it’s not even because of Brody,” I answered honestly.

I sighed and sat down at the dinner table, where our plates remained from earlier. My mood was somber and threatened to ruin an otherwise perfect evening.

“Why are you upset?” Jayce was still riled up and his words came out more harshly than he’d intended.

“Jayce, I think it bothers me so much because I am no better than Brody.
We
are no better.”

“Don’t be silly,” he mumbled.

“Look at us,” I cried. “This is the exact same scenario. Except, Sam is the one being betrayed.”

He pushed off the doorframe and walked over to me. Kneeling on the ground before me, he grabbed my shoulders and looked into my eyes.

“This isn’t the same, Kyla. Not even close.”

“Tell me how this is different,” I urged.

“Because nothing bad can come from how I feel about you,” he whispered hoarsely.

His thumb brushed against the bow of my lip and his eyes bore into mine. Beautiful, tender, loving eyes that looked as though they could see into the depths of my soul.

“Come here,” he said, pulling me to my feet and tight against his chest. “Don’t let him ruin our night.”

He rocked me back and forth in his arms, his embrace shielding me from all the hurt I had suffered.

In that very moment, I realized what I could no longer deny. I was in love with Jayce. I wasn’t sure when my feelings had intensified to this point, but I was completely and utterly in love with him. I struggled with my revelation silently, as Jayce continued to hold me. There was no way I was going to be the first one to say those three little words.

Chapter 16

Jayce flew home to California the following day. I spent my Sunday night with Rebecca, who was amazed by my speedy recovery from the flu. I felt guilty when she arrived at my house with tissues and chicken soup in hand, but she didn’t question my miraculous recovery. And I didn’t hear anything further from Brody, which was a relief as I was still shaken up by his impromptu visit.

“Bec, you didn’t tell Brody I was back in town, did you?” I had asked, as casually as possible.

“Nope.” She responded with a shake of the head. “Why’s that?”

Something about her manner was a little off and I had a feeling she was hiding something from me.

“Never mind,” I said, ending the conversation.

Deep down I knew that it was true. Rebecca had been the one to tell Brody that I was back in Seattle. Maybe I was in denial, but I decided to veto a confrontation. Instead, I chose to enjoy my last night at home with my best friend.

The following Tuesday it was back to work as we returned to the studio for another week of competition. I was given a list of songs to choose from, the theme being Coldplay versus U2. We had to choose either band and sing one of their hits. There were too many choices and as I read through the extensive list, I was indecisive about picking a song.

“I don’t know,” I sighed, slumping back into my chair. “I think I will sing 
Fix You
.”

Jayce raised his eyebrows at my decision to sing the Coldplay song.

“Is there any particular reason you chose that song?” he asked carefully.

“I like it,” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Do the lyrics have some meaning in your current life?”

His eyes were intense. He was questioning me with his stare, without any words leaving his lips. I felt the pressure of the camera being fixed on my face, coupled with Jayce’s scrutinizing stare. It left me feeling rattled.

“I just like the song,” I answered, slightly annoyed.

Jayce left it at that and we began rehearsals.  Since the number of contestants was dwindling fast, the camera crew was present a lot more during rehearsals. It was the first time I’d seen Jayce since he’d left my house on Sunday and the camera was shadowing me, taping every interaction I had. I could tell Jayce was frustrated too, asking the cameraman if it was necessary to film our entire rehearsal. The crew just shrugged their shoulders and continued following my every move.

Even when I went to my appointment with Joss, to choose my clothes for the live show, the crew was there. It was much the same for the other contestants, although Joss told me I was now considered a front-runner to win the competition.

This brought extra pressure that I really didn’t want or need. My motivation to take out first prize had lessened somewhat. I found myself preoccupied, every thought dominated by Jayce.

On Wednesday night, I left the dinner table early and snuck upstairs to call Jayce. It had been days since we’d spoken without other people present. Aside from a few texts here and there, our contact had been limited.

“Hey you,” he answered after two rings.

“What are you up to?”

“Thinking about you,” he answered and I didn’t have to see his face to know he was smiling.

“Sweet. So, what were you really doing?” I asked.

He chuckled. “I’m at home, watching bad reality television and eating pizza.”

“What kind of pizza?”

“Margarita. It’s average.”

“Why didn’t you cook something?”

“There’s not much fun in cooking for one.” His tone was despondent, which caught me off guard.

“No, I guess not,” I said. “What is with the camera crew lately?”

“They couldn’t take the hint that I wanted to be alone with you, like I could have made it more obvious.”

“I know. You’d think they’d show you more respect, given you’re a big, successful rock star,” I teased.

“Sure,” he grunted into the phone. “Smart ass,” he added dryly.

“You set for tomorrow?” he asked, his tone more upbeat.

“Can’t wait,” I lied. I was always anxious the night before a performance. No matter how many times I performed on stage, I doubted I would ever get over those preshow jitters.

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” he asked.

“No plans,” I answered, excited by where the question could lead.

“Why don’t you come here and stay the night?” the question hung in the air before I replied. I didn’t want to sound too eager.

“I’d love to,” I answered after enough time had passed.

“Great. So tomorrow night I get you in my bed,” he said. “For the whole night,” he added as if he awaited my confirmation.

“For the whole night,” I repeated, excited by the prospect.

I could hear that my housemates were starting to move upstairs, their conversations carrying through the hallway.

“I gotta go take a shower and get myself ready for tomorrow,” I told him.

“Don’t over think it,” he warned. “You’ll do great. You always do.”

“I hope so.”

“Okay babe, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you then,” I answered, suddenly not wanting to hang up.

“I miss you,” he added softly.

“I miss you too.”

I heard the line go dead and I hung up at my end. I looked up to find Emily standing in the doorway, staring at me.

“Miss you?” she mocked. “Who was that?”

“Just my mom,” I lied.

“Really? I didn’t know your parents were back in the country.” She eyed me suspiciously.

“They’re not,” I cleared my throat as I rummaged through my drawers, looking for something to wear after my shower. “She called me from London.”

“Wow. It must be like three in the morning there.”

When did Emily become a walking, talking world clock?

“It is early in the morning,” I stuttered. “My mom was having trouble sleeping.”

I could feel Emily’s eyes boring into me from across the room as I took off my boots and shuffled out of my leggings.

“Why are you blushing, Ky?”

“I’m just hot,” I answered, avoiding her gaze. “I’m going to take a shower.”

I hurried into the bathroom and quickly closed the door before more lies spilled out of my mouth.

***

On performance night, I was singing second, following Marc’s performance. It was always daunting singing after Marc, as he was so popular with the crowd. He wrapped up his performance of U2’s 
Stuck in a Moment
 and then it was my time to perform.

It was hard to sing a Coldplay song, because nobody would ever sing it better than Chris Martin himself, but I received positive feedback from Pixie and Dion, while Jayce raved about my performance. Emily wrapped up the show by singing 
Beautiful Day
. 

The remaining nine contestants were called on stage for eliminations I stood between my two teammates, Leo and Katerina, who also happened to be lovers. Either I was going home or those two lovers would be torn apart.

As I stood there, I realized I wasn’t nervous. I knew I wasn’t going to be sent home. I was sure Jayce would save me, regardless of how well his other two team members had sung.  I wondered if the reason I was still in the competition had anything to do with our relationship, as opposed to my singing. As if on cue, Jayce called my name and saved me first and I resolved to question him when we were alone next.

As the eliminations continued, Jayce sent Katerina home and Pixie sent Victoria home, leaving Emily and I as the only two girls remaining out of the final six contenders. We were called back on stage for one final ovation before the show closed for the night.

“Please welcome, our top six!” Nadia announced and the crowd erupted.

“Yuri, Emily, Marc, Max, Leo and Kyla.”

We walked on stage in order and basked in the glory of the crowd’s applause. The rush I felt was overwhelming as I locked eyes with Jayce and then waved to the crowd, smiling widely. We rushed backstage to say our final goodbyes to the three eliminated contestants.

I hugged Katerina as tears streamed down her face. I didn’t say anything. I just embraced her and let her cry. I chanced a look at Leo, who also had tears in his eyes that threatened to fall at any moment. I wrapped my arm around his waist and looked up at his solemn face.

“You okay?” I asked.

“It just sucks that she’s leaving, you know?” He blinked back the tears before continuing.  ”I wasn’t ready for this to end yet.”

“I doesn’t have to end, Leo. You can still see each other.”

He swallowed roughly. “She lives in San Diego, I live in Chicago. I’m not one for long distance relationships.”

“You’ll work something out,” I forced a smile.

I don’t know if I believed my own words. Once we left the competition, would it all be over? Every friendship we’d formed, every relationship we cherished, would it all become nothing but a distant memory as we settled back into our everyday lives? I was left to ponder the question as I said goodbye to another friend.

***

I pulled into Jayce’s driveway and smiled when I saw him waiting in his garage, looking irresistibly handsome in track pants and a tee. Only Jayce could make tracksuit pants look as though they belonged on a billboard.

Before I had the chance to get out the car, Jayce was already grabbing my overnight bag from the back seat, draping the strap over his shoulder.

“Come here.” He pulled me into him with his free arm.

Bowing his head, he kissed me. His lips covered mine as his tongue pushed into my mouth. My hands were flat against his chest and I could feel his heart beating, rapid thumps against my palms.  

He broke away from me. “It’s been too long,” he said breathlessly.

Taking my hand, he guided me toward the side entrance of his apartment.

“I have big plans for you tonight,” he said with a mischievous grin on his face.

He dropped my bag to the floor before grabbing my waist and lifting me to sit on the kitchen countertop. His hands were instantly underneath my top as he kissed me again. I wound my hands around his neck and pulled him into me, closing the gap between us.

“Would it be rude if I took you right here on the kitchen counter?” he asked.

At first, I thought he was joking, but the expression on his face suggested otherwise. His eyes were fiery as he looked up at me through his lashes. I felt for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. He looked surprised, and then he let out a laugh. It was low and rough, but sexy at the same time. My hands were instantly on his stomach, running over the contours of defined muscles and sinew. I traced my fingers down the v that led into his pants. I felt his length, hard and ready against my palm and I traced my fingers over the tip causing him to shudder.

“Take them off,” I murmured against his lips, pulling at the band of his pants.

He slid his tracksuit pants and boxers off in one swift movement and then he was back, standing between my legs, completely naked. The short denim skirt that I was wearing was hitched around my thighs. He quickly lifted my top over my head and unfastened my bra, letting it fall to the cold marble countertop. He carefully pulled me to the edge of the counter and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his hips. He reached his hand between us and slipped my panties to the side before I felt his thick shaft flex against my opening.

“Jayce,” I pleaded impatiently. He grinned before I felt him enter me, slipping inside as my body welcomed him, clenching around his length.

“You feel so good,” he murmured against my shoulder, his teeth biting into my skin.

He moved his hips slowly, thrusting in and out, finding that deep spot within that caused me to moan for more. I tangled my hands in his hair, as his tongue met my sensitive nipples, the bud peaked instantly from the contact.  His breathing was coming in labored, erratic pants as he drove into me over and over again. Each time he entered, he would let out a hungry groan that turned me on even more. He buried his face in my breasts, licking and sucking as he greedily took me in.