Behind Her Smile (18 page)

“I grew up in a trailer park.” All of a sudden, it’s important that he know about me.
All
about me. Alec waits for me to continue speaking, his expression void of emotion. “Like you, I am a first generation American. My parents immigrated to Florida from the Czech Republic when my sister was a few years old. Dad got a job in a factory. Things were okay when I was born. We were poor, but it didn’t matter because were happy enough. And then, when I was five, Dad lost his job.” Unpleasant memories resurface in my mind. Out here on the water, away from the world, I drift further away from those unhappy times. On this boat, I gain strength against those demons. I can’t explain this change in me rationally. All I understand is that next to Alec, I am a little stronger. A little safer. A little bit better.

The ocean momentarily transfixes me. Turquoise water melts into a deeper blue as we get further away from the shoreline.

Still, Alec waits patiently for me to gather my wits.

“That’s when Dad started drinking. My mother was forced to get a job as a house cleaner. At first, he would come home sloppy but never mean. And then as it became more evident that he was losing himself in the alcohol, an immovable shell of anger formed around him. Any cash around the house disappeared to fund his drinking habit. He started coming home later and later from drinking binges. It would be late at night, pitch black outside, and he’d fall into the house with a bang. I would hide under my bed because I didn’t want him to find me . . . He was a violent drunk, and he took out his violence on my mother.” The memories wash over me, and I’m taken back to the terror I felt surrounded by the pitch black. “To this day, I’m still afraid of the dark. How pathetic is that? A grown woman who needs a night light.”

Alec comforts me the same way I did him yesterday. His large hand covers one of my exposed knees, thumb tickling the skin there with slow strokes. “Not pathetic at all, Karolina. You’ve made something of yourself despite the adversity. I respect your drive.”

Never comfortable with a compliment, my cheeks flush. I give Alec my profile in an attempt to hide my embarrassment.

“Your honesty is refreshing.”

If only you knew,
I think glumly. “Well, it’s refreshing not to worry about appearances.” Lifting my injured wrist, I shake it back and forth slightly. “Imagine the horror when the ladies who I eat lunch with find out I can’t play tennis.”

Alec chuckles, and I smile shyly back at him.

“Why did you give up fashion, Karolina? I can understand not returning to school, but quitting it altogether is a tremendous waste of your skills.”

“How would you know that I have any skills to waste? You’ve never seen my work,” I deflect lightly because I don’t have a good enough answer for Alec. There’s no logical reason why I gave up my passion—except that David demanded it. It’s another example of how I’ve given over the reign of my life to David. The thought saddens me enormously.

“Oh? I saw the dress you made for the first wedding, Karolina. It could easily sell at any of the major department stores.”

I drift back to looking at him. Alec continues to watch me, his emotive eyes masked by the sunglasses. But I hear his genuineness.

“Thank you,” I say quietly. “I could never give up designing for good. Without a creative outlet, I’d probably lose my mind.”
Or what’s left of it.
“I have a studio in the house, and I still make dresses. They’ve always been my passion. Before David and I got together, I was working on my own collection as a requirement to graduate. My theme was a take on a shirtdress, different styles to fit and flatter any body type. I wanted to have models from the school show real women wearing the clothes.”

To my surprise, Alec listens with rapt attention. “What happened to those designs?”

“Oh, they’re buried in a drawer somewhere. But you don’t want to hear about my college days.” I shrug as if it doesn’t pain me to admit I never finished the assignment. I don’t need to tell him the task remains unfinished because I gave up that life to focus all my attention on David and the responsibilities of a Morgan bride. I stop talking, unwilling to dredge up any more unpleasant memories.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Karolina. I want to know everything about you.”

I sink my teeth into my lower lip to keep myself from saying something stupid.

Sensing my discomfort, Alec stands and extends his hand to help me to my feet. “Lunch?”

A split second goes by before I place our palms together. A thrill tingles where our skin touches. The moment I’m standing, I drop his hand. This is not a figment of my imagination. The sizzle is real.

Avoiding Alec’s penetrating gaze, I shed my shoes then cross the deck to the table. I take pleasure in a tiny act of rebellion against David’s stark rules of civility and pull out my own chair. The position of the chairs next to each other gives a clear view off the bow.

The same staff member appears seemingly out of thin air. “Sir,” he prompts patiently.

“What would you like to eat, Miss?”

Unsure, I glance at Alec for direction.

“Whatever you’d like. We keep a fully stocked kitchen.”

Is this a test? David always orders for me. I don’t want to make a fool of myself by selecting the wrong thing. One glance at Alec’s neutral expression tells me I need to get a grip and stop worrying. “I’m craving a hamburger and french fries,” I confess as though it’s a sin. I can’t remember the last time I indulged in something so caloric or full of sodium.

“That sounds good. I’ll have the same, but make mine with cheddar cheese, Peter.”

“Certainly. Anything to drink?”

“If it’s not too much trouble, more sparkling water, please,” I request.

“Bottle of beer. Whatever we have. Thank you, Peter.” Alec nods at the waiter who disappears quietly.

“How often do you get out here?” I ask.

“Not as much as I’d like.” Alec leans back in his seat and stretches out his legs under the table. I notice he’s barefoot too, the tendons flexing when he props his feet on his heels. Every part of this man is strong and capable. He must put in an incredible amount of time at the gym. An image comes to my mind—Alec, sweating, lifting weights, his muscles defined by a tight shirt . . . My cheeks get hot, and it has nothing to do with the glaring sun rays.

“The information business is too demanding to make time for this paradise?” I’m teasing, sort of. I want to know more about him.

The darn sunglasses keep me from reading whatever he’s truly feeling when he answers. “Business takes up most of my time. And I’m getting a little old to be partying on this boat.” A slow, wry smile curls his lips. “Of course, I don’t have anyone in particular to enjoy this boat with, other than business associates and the occasional party with friends. Whenever I’m not using it, I allow her to be chartered.”

I push my sunglasses onto my forehead in hopes that it will encourage Alec to take off his own mask. The maddening man doesn’t take my hint though he gives me one of his little smirks that tells me he is on to me.

“Will you show me what you’ve been working on? I’d love to see.”

I bite back an incredulous response. “Maybe someday. Most of my work is unfinished.”

Alec moves closer. Close enough that I can inhale the spicy scent of his aftershave discreetly. The nearness of him alone makes me come alive. My head buzzes, and I start to feel lightheaded—but not in an unpleasant way.

“Promise me something, Karolina.”

“What?” I whisper.

“Don’t give up on your passion. You are an artist. I’ve seen what you can do when you let your talent run wild. It would be a damn shame for your work to go unrecognized.”

“I have no intention of giving it up,” I say haughtily and scoot away from Alec. My standoffishness does not deter him. He simply grabs the seat of my chair and yanks it until not even an inch separates us.

“Is it business connections you need? I’d be happy to help you find the buyers, suppliers, labor . . . whatever you need.”

My breath catches in my throat. Not even my husband has made this offer. In fact, David discouraged me from putting too much time into my fashion.

Taking it upon myself to reveal Alec, I carefully remove his sunglasses and place them to the side. His onyx eyes are no hope—endless pools of darkness. “Tell me why you care this much.”

“I don’t like to see beautiful things destroyed.”

“You said that on my wedding day, Alec, and I’m still here, not destroyed in the least.”

Liar.

Alec doesn’t say it, but I see the rebuke spelled plainly over his features.

“When I look at you, I see an endless fountain of potential. You have so much to offer . . .” Alec trails off, leaving me hanging on his words, aching for him to say more. “There are many years ahead of you to realize that potential.”

I don’t know who I’m supposed to be.
What I know for sure is that I’m not a Mrs. Morgan type, an empress to run a financial empire next to her husband. And I’m not sure I’m supposed to be a fashion mogul anymore either.

Peter breaks the tense conversation when he appears with our drinks.

“There’s something about being on the ocean that is freeing.” I look out to the horizon, hoping to find a reprieve from my disturbing thoughts.

“Breathtaking,” Alec murmurs. I don’t need to look directly at him to know Alec is watching me and not the smooth waters. Despite the forbidden indulgence, I can’t help but be flattered by his appreciation.

When lunch arrives, neither of us shifts our chair away from the other.

“Tell me something about you that no one knows,” I request.

One of his dark eyebrows rises and he surveys me while chewing a bite of hamburger. “How about something that not many people know? Adriana and Hector Martinez have two children, Valencia and Manuel. To those two, I’m their Uncle Alec, and when they need a babysitter, Adriana calls me.”

“You like kids?” I ask in genuine surprise.

Alec smiles wryly. “Valencia and Manuel have wormed their way into my heart. They’re honest and challenging. Such sweet kids. I’m sure Adriana has already talked your ear off about them.”

“Yes, it’s obvious she loves them wildly.” I can’t keep the note of envy from my voice. “She’s a wonderful mother.”

“I’ll deny this if you ever tell anyone, but being around their children makes me want a brood of my own. Only child syndrome, I suppose.” Another piece of Alec’s armor falls away revealing the man beneath.

“You’d make a great dad, Alec. Protective and nurturing.”

A rare hint of vulnerability flashes his eyes. “Thank you, Karolina. Coming from you that’s a high compliment.” We share a smile then, both raw signs of affection. With Alec, I can be my authentic, work-in-progress self. And, in return, he’s showing me his unfiltered side. The more he shares with me, the more I find myself wanting to spend time in his presence.

Hours later when we arrive back at the dock, Alec decides to drive me back to Coral Gables instead of sending me with a driver. It’s a quiet ride to the house, neither one of us much for talking after hours of nonstop conversation aboard
Dýnami.
It was as if I wanted him to know everything about me—from the silly jobs I worked throughout high school to the design projects I made while I was in school. In turn, he told me about his travels all over the world. Admittedly, I did most of the talking, but never once did Alec look bored or uninterested.

A strange sensation washes over me, and it takes me a bit to recognize it: I’m relaxed. Normally, there’s a ball of tension needling into my spine, as I’m constantly afraid of making the wrong move. Today, I was just me, Karolina, and Alec had no qualms about the woman I am.

The car glides to a stop at the end of the stone driveway. Alec puts the car into park. It hums idly as he stretches one hand along the length the steering wheel and then turns his torso to face me.

“If you decide you want help with your fashion, come to me. Please, Karolina. I
want
to be of assistance to you.” I turn away, staring at the house. My studio faces the front, and I can see its window on the far side of the second story.

“Not yet, Alec. But when I’m ready . . . I’ll find you.” Turning back, I give him one last fleeting look. “Thank you for a lovely day. It’s the best I’ve had in a long time.”

Does he hear what I am really saying beneath the surface? One day, if I gather the courage to leave David, I will go to him. I just hope that he is there because, if I ever decide to leave, it will be the toughest battle of my life.

Alec

The car door shuts behind Karolina and all the emotion building in my chest nearly brings me to punch the steering wheel. What the fuck am I doing? Chasing after this woman who has all but erected a flashing ‘Off-Limits’ sign.

Admittedly, my intentions toward her weren’t always pure. But now I find myself helpless to fight against her relentless pull. Of course, Karolina doesn’t see the full depth of my attraction to her. Hell, I don’t understand it myself.

Shifting the car into gear, I vacate the driveway. The last thing I need is video footage showing me parked in front David Morgan’s house, pining after his wife. God, he would love it. The bastard knows just how lucky he is to have her.

Bile sours my stomach. I’m physically ill thinking that.

My warped relationship with David Morgan started when our professional paths crossed years ago. David was trying to prove his worth to the family business by landing lucrative clients. We met at Hotel Monroe, both interested in Ira Gold. David wanted to manage his personal portfolio, and I wanted to purchase real estate from Gold. David and I could have worked together to convince Gold to work with us, but something about the look of David Morgan instantly rose my competitive instincts. I messed with him every chance I got; I played games with him because I wanted to take the smarmy prick down a notch or two. We were in a perpetual battle to be the best, the most successful, and both of us were too stubborn to give up on our war. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right?

Hubris was my downfall. From a business perspective, David could never have surpassed my success, but personally, he won. Karolina. Sweet, generous, giving Karolina was his because I let him have her. She was supposed to be mine from the beginning. I won the damned bet and should have pursued her, but arrogance won out. I thought I didn’t need attachments, least of all a woman, in my life so I gave her away to David as if she meant nothing to me.