Behind Her Smile (22 page)

“Bullshit,” he snaps, taking a step closer. “You felt that as much as I did. Yet you stay with him. Tell me, Karolina. What does he have that I don’t? David Morgan is nothing more than an arrogant trust-fund prick running a perfectly good business into the ground. Explain to me what you see in him.”

I cower a few steps backward, trembling at this emotional outburst. “It doesn’t matter what I think or what I feel. This can’t happen again.”

“Karolina, I love you.”

My heart seizes. Hopelessness and elation flood my senses at the same time. Oh, how I would flourish under a relationship with Alec. But I can’t have him. For better or for worse, I made wedding vows to David Morgan and my baby.

“I’m pregnant,” I whisper the words.

Alec sucks in a startled breath, staring at me in disbelief.

“No.”

“David and I are having a baby.” Still I whisper as if that will take the edge off the offensive words.

Alec barks out a laugh. “Wow. You really played me with those doe eyes and innocent smile. What a moron I am.” His voice is hard as granite, furious.

“Alec, no, I never meant to mislead you.” Tentatively, I step toward him again, raising a hand to place it on his shoulder, but he bats me away.

“Just another whore,” he says venomously, “married to a man for his money. No wonder you quit designing. What the fuck do you need a job for when you have David Morgan’s money to fall back on? You disgust me.” His accusations hurt more than any of the physical pain I received from David has. I nearly double over from his harshness.

Whore. Whore. Whore.
The word slices my heart. Tiny, brutally honest nicks.

“What are you doing in here, Karolina?” The door to the office is wide open and David fills the doorway, staring at me with hard, emotionless eyes.

“Your wife gave me a tour. And now I’m done,” Alec says. I know he’s talking about more than the house. He means done with me. Forever.

“It’s dinnertime,” David says. His voice could freeze the depths of hell.

Alec stalks out of the room without looking back. David moves into my space and grips my upper arm in a punishing hold. “Do not fuck this up for me, Karolina.”

“I won’t.” There’s no assurance in the way my voice trembles.

“I’ll deal with you later. Until then, be on your best fucking behavior.” Nodding, I let him take me back to the dining area and our guests. I paste a pleasant expression on my face and allow David to pull out my chair.

Behind the mask, my heart crumbles until I feel nothing but a gaping hole in my chest. An all-encompassing sense of loss strips me raw. But I’m not able to succumb to the emotional turmoil. It’s an important night for Morgan Financial, and there are certain obligations I must fulfill as David’s wife. I maintain conversation with David’s guests, not slipping up once. Alec plays the game as well as I do. No one would guess what happened a few minutes earlier unless they looked deep into my eyes and saw the depth of my sorrow.

It’s only then I realize I’ve fallen in love with Alec. How could I have been this blind? All these years, I have been lying to myself. The driving emotion behind my commitment to David isn’t love. Fear pushes me to remain with him. I’m afraid David is the only man who will love me. After a lonely, loveless childhood, I wanted someone to take me in and take care of me emotionally.

On the opposite side of the lavish dining table, David talks with his cultured smoothness. He smiles widely at his guests. At one time, I found that smile dazzling. I know what’s lurking underneath. And this man is going to be the father of my baby.

And on the other side of the table is Alec.

Hungrily, I take in the strong lines of his profile, his strong cheekbones, and crooked nose. Alec, who sees me as I am. Alec, who wants me to achieve my dreams. Alec, who never once made me feel like I embarrass him. Alec, who looks at me as if I matter. Alec, who built success in the wake of tragedy. Alec, who takes an interest in my personal goals. Alec . . . The room starts to swim.

“Karolina, are you all right?”

I’m fighting to breathe. My chest is tight. I’m lightheaded.

Chaos erupts. Silverware clangs against the china and conversation grows louder. I struggle to focus on anything but gasping for breath. The tightness in my chest threatens to crush my erratic heart.

“Karolina, look at me.” David wraps a hand around the back of my neck and turns me to face him. His penetrating blue-green eyes bear into mine. “You are having a panic attack. Take a deep breath.”

Shaking my head back and forth violently, I gasp. “I can’t.”

I nearly collapse forward when he jerks my chair away from the table. Then I end up in his arms. I press my face into his shoulder, trembling with the effort of staying conscious. Collecting me against his chest, David settles onto a couch. He holds me tight, whispering nonsense into my hair and rocking me back and forth.

Slowly, oh so slowly, my breath settles. The black dots dancing in my gaze fade.

“Karolina,” David murmurs from where his chin rests on my head.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, knowing how I must have humiliated him.

“This was not the right night, Karolina.”

I scramble out of his arms. Quickly, I smooth my hair and check my dress to make sure it hasn’t fallen out of place. “Tell them I’m pregnant. It will explain the panic. You’ll get sympathy.” I’m frantic. This was David’s big night, and I screwed it up royally. There’s no way he will forgive me without punishment.

David rises to his feet gracefully. He intertwines our fingers and squeezes painfully until I gasp. “Don’t say a word,” he says under this breath. I don’t want to cling to him, but I’m afraid I will fall to the floor if he doesn’t support my weight.

“Please accept my deepest apologies,” David’s voice turns to honey once we’re back in the dining room. “We wanted to wait to tell you this under better circumstances, but Karolina and I are expecting a baby.”

A chorus of gasps and congratulations come in response. “Needless to say, it hasn’t been the easiest pregnancy. I am terribly sorry, but I must take my wife to the emergency room to ensure my wife and our baby’s safety. You are all welcome to stay here for after-dinner drinks and dessert. Miranda will be in shortly to take your preference.”

Adriana Martinez leaps to her feet and comes to stand next to me. “You poor darling.” She strokes the back of her hand against my cheek. I nearly whimper at the tenderness in the older woman’s gesture. “All sorts of hormones are racing through your body. If you need any help, you be sure to call me.” She directs this comment to David with all the warning of the mother.

“Adriana, you’re too kind. We will take you up on that offer. Hopefully, this is nothing but a scare.” David sounds so sincere I almost believe him. But I know better. This emotional outburst is unforgivable.

David steers me away from the table amid well wishes from our guests. I allow myself one fleeting glance at Alec. His face is stone, not giving off any hint of emotion, his jaw locked in place. And then David sweeps me away.

I don’t know if I’ll ever speak to Alec again. At least in the way we had been.

And I’ve chosen to be with the monster.

I
can’t remember when I stopped listening to David’s threats. Looming over me, fire in his eyes, David would tell me if I screwed up one more time, he’d kill me himself. He’s said it enough times that I stopped believing him. David was obsessed with his image, probably more so than even his mother. If his wife were to die in mysterious circumstances, his reputation would never recover. David wouldn’t dare threaten his reputation by destroying me. No, I never believed he wanted me dead.

Until this moment.

The blood coursing through my veins turns to ice. Goose flesh sprouts along my arms and shoulders. I start to shiver uncontrollably because I
believe
him.

“I heard stories about you, but I didn’t realize you were actually that cold. Wanting to knock off your own wife. Wow.” The Latino cackles and turns to Cox. “Can you believe this shit?”

“What, she terrible in bed?” Cox directs the question to David.

“She’s more trouble than she’s worth,” the man I vowed love and devotion to mutters. He looks at me scornfully.

“Tell me this. Why would we kill her and not you? Sounds to me like you want to make a deal, and I don’t think you’re in a position to be negotiating.” The Latino casually gestures to the gun at his hip.

“If you kill both of us, you could make it out of here with some art and whatever cash we have on hand. That’s nothing compared to what we have in our safes. Not to mention, those items will make it easy to track you. The art in this house is one-of-a-kind. It wouldn’t be difficult to figure out who sold the items and nail both your asses in jail.” David talks smoothly, the way I’ve heard him wine and dine potential clients. “You ending up in jail will make this entire exercise fruitless, don’t you think?”

My heart jumps into my throat. Black spots dance in my line of vision. Nausea threatens to overtake my senses. I am physically sick with terror. He’s talking about me as if I’m an inanimate object. Is that all I’ve ever been to him—a window dressing?

“I’m listening,” the Latino mutters.

“I’ll give you the codes and you take what you want from the safes. Then you get rid of her and leave here. When the police come, I’ll give them enough information to lead them on a useless chase. We all get what we want.” He doesn’t even
blink
when he offers up my life in exchange for his.

“You are sick,” I spit harshly. David doesn’t flinch.

“The fuck did this bitch ever do to you? Fucking crazy shit, he wants us to kill his wife,” Cox mutters in disbelief.

“Let’s just say she’s become expendable,” David sneers.

“Come on, gotta give us more than that,” Cox goads him on.

To the outside observer, David and I are the image of a perfect couple. Looks of love shared at dinner parties, never a public argument or negative word said about the other, designer clothing hand-picked by a stylist, and annual teeth whitening appointments with David’s private dentist—we certainly look the part of the idyllic paired couple. David molded me into his pretty little Stepford Wife, a role that consumed my identity. Beneath all that glamour, David loathes me. I can do no right by him. And I have grown numb to him. There’s nothing left of me but the shell of a woman.

“She can’t give me what I want.” Finally, David looks at me. Disgust darkens his golden features. “I have no use for her.”

My head falls forward, and I shake it back and forth. “Don’t do this, David. You loved me at one time. Remember that.” I don’t believe it will do any good for me, but I have to try
something
to convince him this idea is inhumane.

They say hope dies last. The last ember of hope I’ve nurtured and protected has begun to wither away. I thought that I had nothing left to lose. And that’s exactly right because I am nothing but a pathetic coward. No one will care if I’m gone. No one will miss me. And if I’m murdered in a home invasion gone awry, David will gain sympathy and probably the payout of a very hefty life insurance policy he took out on me.

“Remember that I loved you at one time,” David repeats with quiet fury. “What a joke. See now, I
never
loved you. I married you because I needed a wife to appeal to my clientele. It was supposed to be easy to turn you into the right kind of woman to be a Morgan wife. The only thing I expected in return was your obedience, and yet, time and time again, you defied me. Why, Karolina? Because you are a selfish, unforgivable, stupid
slut.
”

Hunching my shoulders, I try to fold into myself. Shame fills me. How could I stay with this vile man? How could I allow this abuse to go on? Somehow, David strips me of all my self-confidence with a few verbal punches. When it was just Cox holding me prisoner, I had the will to fight. But David knows exactly what buttons to push to punish me.

“Do you remember what I asked you for?” he seethes.

“A child,” I whisper through a cracked, trembling voice.

“A son!” he shouts viciously. “A baby boy to carry on the Morgan name. Did you give me my son?
No.
You lost the only piece that tied you to me. First, you couldn’t get pregnant, and then, you destroyed my son. I should have thrown you back out as soon as I found you, but somehow, you tricked me into keeping you. You are a fucking evil witch.”

Burning rage consumes him. The golden angel transforms into something devilishly dark. All of a sudden, I hear shuffling and a guttural growl. My head snaps up just in time to see David lunging at me. He crashes into my chair, sending me back to the floor with a thud. His fingers circle my neck, tighter, tighter, tighter . . . My throat burns, and I gasp against the battle each breath.

I’m going to die. He’s going to kill me. He’s . . . he’s . . .

There’s a shout and then all of a sudden the lock around my neck disappears.

“Calm the fuck down, man!” The Latino is shouting.

Hands clamp underneath my armpits and pull my chair upright. David paces the length of his office muttering something.