Behind the Pine Curtain (27 page)

“Perfect? He’s twenty-seven. He lives in Mississippi. What is she
thinking
?”

“She’s just worried about you, Kay. She told me she hates the thought of you being alone.”

“And she can’t come to terms with the fact that it’s by choice and not design,” Kay said.

“Is it?”

Kay nodded. “I’ve been asked out. And if I was interested in any of them, I’d have said yes. But none of them stir even the
slightest
interest.”

“And Josh?”

“And Josh is no different,” Kay said. She turned, facing Jackie. She waited until Jackie met her eyes before speaking. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jacqueline swallowed. Well, so much for small talk. “And what would I have said, Kay?”

“I swear, Jackie, nothing’s changed. You
still
can’t talk to me about this.”

Jacqueline watched the wine swirl as she tipped her glass from side to side. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Okay, I had a ridiculous teenage crush on you in high school. Is that what you want to hear?” She opened her eyes when she felt warm fingers entwine with her own.

“Why do you say it was ridiculous?”

“Because at first, I didn’t know what to do about it. I didn’t know what it meant. We were friends. I wasn’t supposed to feel like that about you.

When I . . . when I finally accepted that I was gay, I was afraid to be around you.”

“Afraid of what you might do?”

“No! Kay, I told you, I would never have touched you.” Jacqueline looked away. “I was afraid you’d find out, is all. And that you would be afraid of
me
. And I couldn’t stand the thought of us not being friends.”

“I would have never let that come between us, Jackie.”

“You don’t know that. You can say it now, but we were kids. You don’t know what you would have done had I come to you and told you I was gay, told you I
liked
you,” Jacqueline finished in a whisper.

“Oh, Jackie.” Kay rested her hand on Jackie’s knee, rubbing lightly.

“You’re right. I don’t know what I would have done. But maybe more things would have made sense to me then.” Kay squeezed Jackie’s knee, waiting until blue eyes found hers. “Last night, when I saw you looking at me, you had the same look in your eyes that I saw so many times back then.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what, Jackie? You said you were jealous of Billy Ray. I couldn’t see it back then, but I see it now. And I
was
jealous of Danny.”

It was Kay’s turn to look away, and she fidgeted with her own wineglass. “I thought I was jealous because he was taking time away from my best friend.” Kay looked up, daring to meet Jackie’s eyes.

“But that wasn’t really why I was jealous,” she admitted quietly. “I was jealous because he was
with
you.”

Jacqueline didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing at all.

Kay cleared her throat and wet her suddenly dry lips. “Why . . . why didn’t you ever try to kiss me?” Kay asked in a whisper.

When their blue eyes locked together, Jacqueline had a difficult time breathing. Her heart was pounding so loudly, she was certain Kay could hear it. She slid her eyes lower, resting on the lips that, as a teenager, she’d imagined kissing thousands of times. And now, here they were, fifteen years older, sitting on Kay’s bed, and those lips that she’d wanted so badly were but a breath away. Jacqueline’s desire was at war, and she struggled to maintain a grasp on her senses. Her mistake was letting Kay’s blue eyes capture her own. Something she couldn’t see as a kid, she saw now. Her desire was mirrored in Kay’s eyes.

“
Y e s
,” Kay whispered.

Jacqueline moaned at just the thought of kissing Kay. Without another word, she leaned toward her, aware of Kay’s ragged breathing, of the pulse pounding rapidly in Kay’s throat. Her eyes slid closed as she—

“Aunt Kay?”

They pulled apart guiltily, both breathing as if they’d run a race. Kay closed her eyes for a moment as her hand rested against her chest.

Oh my God
.

Before Kay could speak, Lee Ann was crawling in bed between them, oblivious to what she’d interrupted.

“Movie’s over, and Denny fell asleep.”

“He did?” Kay finally looked up, daring to meet Jackie’s eyes. The desire she’d seen earlier was nearly gone, replaced with apprehension.

And perhaps regret.

Jacqueline stood up and collected her shoes. “I’m actually kinda tired myself. I think I’ll call it a night.”

Kay nodded, afraid to speak. She couldn’t very well beg Jackie to stay up until the kids were asleep, beg her to finish the kiss they’d barely started.

Jacqueline showered before venturing into the kitchen. She’d heard them earlier, heard the kids’ laughter, heard Kay’s teasing voice. She slept in later than normal, but she was afraid to be alone with Kay. With the kids there as a buffer, there would be no time for talking, for . . .

kissing.

She leaned against the counter to steady herself, finally daring to meet her own eyes in the mirror. She had purposefully avoided thinking about what happened last night, what
almost
happened. She still couldn’t believe she had been so close to kissing Kay after all these years. And the whispered word Kay had breathed was still fresh in her mind.

Yes.

But what did it mean? Was Kay suddenly curious? Or was she giving voice to suppressed feelings after all this time?

Whatever the answer, Jacqueline wasn’t sure she could handle it.

Kay looked up when Jackie walked into the kitchen, heading straight to the coffee without so much as a glance. This she was expecting. Jackie was no doubt embarrassed over what had
almost
happened. And Kay was too. After all, she’d started it, she’d wanted to talk, and then she’d practically begged Jackie to kiss her.

But in the light of day, she wasn’t so sure anymore. Maybe she’d simply imagined the look in Jackie’s eyes. Maybe the attraction she had for Jackie—still had for her after all these years—had absolutely nothing to do with sex. Maybe it was just that, an attraction. An extension of their friendship. Maybe Kay was reading too much into it.

“Are you okay this morning?” Jacqueline asked quietly, hesitantly.

Kay met her eyes, drowning in the blue depths like she’d done hundreds of times before. Only now, she accepted what she saw in Jackie’s eyes, she accepted what she felt for Jackie. And it had everything to do with their friendship, yet it had nothing whatsoever to do with friendship.

“I’m okay. You?”

Jacqueline glanced at the kids who were busy eating pancakes, then looked back at Kay. “Last night . . . Kay, I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Kay nodded. “Yes, I’m sorry too. If Lee Ann had only waited five more minutes, then I’d already know what it’s like to kiss you.”

Jacqueline’s eyebrows shot up.

“You want pancakes?”

“What?
Kay?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re making me crazy,” Jacqueline whispered.

“Good. It’s about time. Now, do you want any pancakes?”

Jacqueline shook her head. “No. I don’t think I can eat,” she murmured.

She took her coffee cup, intending to go back to her room—and think.

But a tiny hand touched her arm.

“Aren’t you going to eat? Aunt Kay made pancakes just for you.”

“For me? She did?” Jacqueline looked up at Kay, seeing the slight blush on the other woman’s face.

“She said you used to eat ten at a time.”

“Ah, but that was when your grandma was cooking. I’m scared to eat Aunt Kay’s cooking.” She was rewarded with a wet dishcloth to the face.

“Rose said she’d feed us leftover burgers, but I have a sneaky suspicion that she invited Josh, too.”

“Mommy says Josh is cute,” Lee Ann said.

“Josh is also young,” Kay said, sparing a glance at Jackie in the rearview mirror.

“But he
is
cute,” Jacqueline teased.

“Hush.”

“Aunt Kay, is Josh going to be your boyfriend?”

“No, Lee Ann, he’s not.”

“But Mommy says ya’ll are going to have a date.”

“Is that what Mommy says?” Kay asked through clenched teeth. “I think I need to have a talk with your mommy.”

“What time did they get back?” Jacqueline asked.

“She called at two.”

“They weren’t gone long.”

“No. They usually don’t get back until six most weekends. I’m sure Greg was anxious to return.”

“Yeah. I just hope he doesn’t—” She stopped, aware of Lee Ann listening to their conversation. She met Kay’s eyes in the mirror, seeing her nod slightly.

When they pulled into the driveway, Kay let out a heavy sigh. “As I suspected.”

“What?”

She motioned to the street with a quick toss of her head. “Eric’s truck.”

“Ahh. So, another round with Josh,” Jacqueline said as she got out, helping Denny with his backpack. She stopped when warm fingers wrapped around her forearm.

“I have zero interest in Josh,” Kay said quietly as their eyes locked together. “And you know it.”

Jacqueline nodded, the look in Kay’s eyes frightening her a little.

Jacqueline realized that whatever was going to happen between them, she wasn’t in control any longer. Kay was in control. And the look in her eyes told Jacqueline that Kay
knew
she was in control. Jacqueline was simply at her mercy. The thought made her weak.

They found them in the backyard, enjoying the last of the sunshine.

Spring rains were forecast for tomorrow.

“Hey guys,” Rose called, then she bent over, pulling Lee Ann into a hug.

“How’s my big girl?”

“Guess what we had?”

“What?”

“Pancakes!”

“Pancakes? Aunt Kay
cooked
?” Rose asked, surprised.

“Look, I can open up a box with the best of them.”

Rose turned to Jackie. “Did you eat?” she asked quietly.

“She forced me,” she said with just a hint of a smile.

“You both are so funny.” Kay slugged Jackie in the arm. “And see if I
ever
cook for you again!”

Jacqueline rubbed her arm. “They were good. Maybe not as fluffy as your mother’s, but they were still good.”

Rose leaned closer to them, her voice low. “Don’t let Josh know you can’t cook. Cooking is very important to men.”

“Rose, listen to me. You can play matchmaker all you want, but I am not attracted to Josh. In the least. So quit pushing it.”

“How can you not be attracted to him?”

Kay raised her hands in exasperation. “I’m just not Rose. So drop it.”

Rose looked at Jackie. “Can you talk some sense into her? He’s practically an Adonis, for pity’s sake!”

Jacqueline shrugged. “If she doesn’t like him, she doesn’t like him.”

Kay laughed, linking arms with Jackie. “Thank you, Miss Keys. I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

Rose stared at them. “You’re acting strange.”

Kay released Jackie, smiling as she noticed the slight blush on Jackie’s face. Damn, Jackie could still be so vulnerable. And try as she may, Jackie couldn’t hide her feelings from Kay any longer. Kay could read through every disguise, and right now, she knew if she should touch Jackie, she would feel her tremble. And why, oh why, couldn’t she have seen that fifteen years ago? So much time wasted.

“I’m not acting strange, Rose.”

Rose put her hands on her hips. “Give me one good reason why you don’t like Josh.”

Kay glanced quickly at Jackie, seeing the slight twitch of her lips.
Well,
let’s see, Rose. He’s a man, for one thing. And he’s not Jackie, for
another.
She closed her eyes. Perhaps too much for Rose to handle. So, she went to something safer.

“He’s twenty-seven.”

“So?”

“I’m almost thirty-four.”

“And?”

Kay shrugged. “He drinks too much.”

“
What?
”

Kay motioned with her head. “Have you ever seen him without a beer in his hand?”

“That doesn’t mean anything. Do you ever see Eric without a beer?”

Kay nodded. “Exactly my point. Eric drinks too much.”

“Kay, you can’t judge everyone by Billy Ray. He was practically a drunk.”

“He
was
a drunk, Rose.”

“And what does that have to do with Josh?”

“Girls,” Jacqueline said, stepping between them. “Now is probably not the right time or place for this discussion.”

“I’m sorry. You’re right,” Rose said. “I just wish you’d keep an open mind, Kay.”

“I will, but Rosie, please quit worrying about me.”

Jacqueline cleared her throat. “Here comes . . . your date.”

“There you are! Rose said you guys were coming over.” Josh looked them over. “You’re Jackie, right?”

Jacqueline smiled, glancing quickly at Kay. “Yes. And you’re . . .

Justin?”

“Josh,” he corrected, then linked arms with Kay. “Come on over. I’ll get you a beer.”

Rose elbowed Jackie. “
Justin?
”

Jacqueline shrugged. “Just messing with the kid,” she said as she watched Kay walk away from her.

Kay hated to be rude, but if Josh didn’t take his hands off of her soon, she was likely to slug him.

“I was thinking, maybe one day this week, we could go out to dinner,”

Josh suggested. “Eric says the Mexican food place in town is pretty good.”

Kay took a step back, causing Josh’s arm to slide away from her back.

“Yes, very good food. However, I’m not having dinner with you.”

“Why not?”

“Josh, you seem like a nice guy. Really.” Kay smiled gently. “But I’m just not interested.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m not interested in you. In dating you,” she clarified. She didn’t want to be a total bitch.

“But Rose said—”

“You’ll find that Rose says a lot of things.” She quickly scanned the backyard, finding Jackie sitting alone in a lawn chair. She shook her head, wondering why Rose had left Jackie by herself. “Excuse me.”

She didn’t wait for Josh to comment. She walked purposefully toward Jackie, smiling when Jackie looked up.

“What are you doing?”

Jacqueline shrugged. “Sitting. Watching.”