Believed (My Misery Muse) (16 page)

Chapter 28

Jules

I readjusted the phone between my neck and
shoulder while keeping an eye on my surroundings.  We had arrived at the hotel
in Tucson a few hours ago and the game had turned vicious.

“So he told you he didn’t want anything with you?”

“No,” I huffed, “he didn’t have to.”

She made a noise in the back of her throat. “So
you’re assuming?”

“You know what they say about people who assume,”
I quipped.

“Yes, and you are an ass.”

“I saw it in his eyes,” I said quietly.

Ash was quiet for a moment. “His eyes?”

“Yep.”

“You’re going by something you think you saw in
his eyes?”

“Oh, I didn’t imagine it.”

“Okay, so what did you not imagine?”

“He wants me,” I told her, “but he doesn’t want to
want me.  He is not going to do anything about it.”

“You got all of that from a look in his eyes?” She
asked dubiously.

“You know that cliché eyes are a window into the
soul?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s a cliché for a reason.”

Ash groaned. “Jules, I love you, but you are a
fucking idiot.”

“That’s probably a fair assessment.”

“You say you saw that he wanted you in his eyes,
just that he doesn’t want to want you, right?”

“Yep.”

“So then don’t give him a fucking choice,” she
paused. “Sorry Jaks, I’ll put a dollar in the swear jar.”

I giggled. “Jaks is a taskmaster.”

“You have no idea,” she moaned.  “Now back to you
being an idiot, don’t give him a choice.  He wants you, anyone with eyes can
see that, all you have to do is take it.”

“And pray tell how do you suppose I do that?”

“Seduce him.”

“Won’t work.”

“Why not, he’s a guy.”

“True, but this is me.”

“Ah I see your point.”

“Thanks,” I muttered.  My head popped up when I
heard a distinct voice. “Ash,” I whispered, “hold on a sec.”

“Why are you…” but I shoved my phone in my pocket
then ducked behind a potted plant.

I pulled my Nerf gun from the back of my pants and
waited.  I watched as Keaton walked past while Lana followed behind bitching
about something.  When she passed I turned, aimed, and shot her in the back of
the head.

“What the?” She gasped and spun around.

I stood up and grinned at her shocked face. “Your
target, please?”

She scowled at me then stomped over. “That’s not
fair.”

“Why not?”

“You shot me in the back!” she yelled.

“No, I shot you in the head.”

She growled and looked over at Keaton who was
standing there grinning. “Tell her it wasn’t fair.”

“It was within the rules,” he answered. “Give her
your target.”

She dug in her pocket and flicked her target at me
before storming down the hallway.

“That was kind of scary,” he murmured watching her
go down the hall.

“Her temper tantrum?”

“No, your ninja skills.”

I shrugged. “Gotta go,” I checked the corner
quickly then took off towards my room.  I pulled the phone back out of my
pocket. “Sorry Ash.”

“What was that?”

“Had to shoot someone.”

“I don’t even want to know, hold on, Devi wants to
talk to you.”

“Jules.”

“Devi.”

“There is an after-party tonight.”

“Okay and?”

“You’re going,” she said in a voice that said I
didn’t have a choice.

“I don’t have anything to wear,” I said attempting
to get out of this even though I knew it was futile.

“Already took care of it, you should have a dress
sometime before you leave,” then she hung up on me.

I crossed my eyes at the phone. “You’re going” I
mimicked.  I did not have a good feeling about whatever she had planned, and I
knew she was planning something.

I walked onto the elevator and waited for the
doors to close before looking at my new target.  I giggled; he was going to be
a challenge. 

I walked into the suite I was sharing with Seth
and Sam.  Across the hall, there was an identical suite that X, Eli, and Ian
were staying in.  This one wasn’t as gaudy or large as the suite in Vegas,
which made me happy.

“I understand,” Seth said into his cell sounding
exasperated. “Gotta go.”

He eyed me as I walked into the room. “Are you
about to shoot me?” I asked looking for a way to dodge past him and lock myself
in my room.

“No, but you may want to shoot me.”

I put my hands on my hips. “What does she want?”

“I am told to bring you someplace and if you
resist at any point then I am given permission to knock you out and drag you
behind by your hair.”

I cocked my head and looked at him. “Your wife is
seriously scary.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“Where am I going?”

“I know better than to tell you that, you’ll run.”

I groaned and let my head flop back on my
shoulders so I was staring at the ceiling. “I hate that woman some days.”

“Let’s get this over with,” he muttered grabbing
my hand and clasping it tightly.

“That much of a flight risk?”

“Oh yeah.”

Sam

“Dad’s not doing well,” my brother said as soon as
I answered my phone.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “How not
well?”

“Maybe a month,” he said quietly.

“I have like two and a half weeks left.”

“I know, I just thought you should have a heads
up, just in case.”

“Thanks.”

“You should tell the guys.”

I punched the door in my bathroom. “I didn’t want
this hanging over everyone while we’re on tour.”

“He’s running out of time, Sam.”

“I know.” I said quietly. “I’ll tell them
tomorrow.  Tonight we have a show and an after-party.”

“Thought you hated after-parties?”

“I do, but since we’re here for three days, I
couldn’t get out of it.”

He snorted. “You have to be the only rock star
around who schedules things so you have to miss after-parties for your own
band.”

“It was a joint decision.”

“Uh huh.”

I could hear his doubt but it honestly was.  After
we lost a core member of our band to that lifestyle, we made the decision to
stay away from it as much as possible.  The idea of it was far too appealing at
times. Problem is you can’t dabble.  Once you do it more than not, you’re
sucked in, and we didn’t want that to happen to one of our own again.

“Want to tell me why the womenfolk have given you
a death sentence?”

“Uh,” I said scratching the back of my neck, “not
really.”

“Might want to deal with me, Drake and Cris aren’t
getting any because of you and they are not happy about it. I don’t even want
to think about what the girls would do to you if they could get their hands on
you.”

“I didn’t do anything, per se.”

“Okay what did you not do?”

“I may have kissed, Jules.”

“I already know that, she told me.”

“Yeah, I know I already got the speech.”

“Okay, so?”

“She may have gotten it into her head that nothing
else was going to happen and possibly cried.”

I heard his sharp inhale. “How would she have gotten
that into her head,  Sam?”

Oh, he was pissed. “You know that song
“Vulnerable?”

“Yeah, it’s one of her favorites.”

“She was listening to it, and I don’t know
something passed between us.  Then she started crying and I don’t know how to
explain this.”

He sighed. “Try?”

“So we were staring at each other, and those words
were, especially the chorus, it was…”

“What’s going on between you two?”

“Pretty much.”

“You had a silent conversation,” he said quietly,
“like Seth and Devi do.”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“And?”

“And I could see it all you know? I could see my
future and I wanted it. Hell, I still want it.  Only I don’t want it at the
cost of her.”

“Sam, you’re making no sense.”

“Max, I can’t make you understand. I just don’t
want to hurt her.”

“You’re afraid you will.”

“Yeah,” I said softly.

“I don’t know what to tell you.  I can tell you
how you would never intentionally hurt her, or how she’s been half in love with
you for years.  Only I don’t think that would help.”

“How are things going with that girl you were
seeing?”

“Emory?” I could hear the smile in his voice when
he says her name.  “She’s amazing. We’ve hung out every day this week.  She
even came up to the shop to see me.  By the way, I caught the change in
conversation.”

“You sound happy.”

“You sound miserable.”

“She’s already been hurt.”

“More than you probably know,” he said agreeing.

“Keep me posted on Dad.”

“Will do.”

“Bye, little brother.”

“Talk soon, big brother.”

I headed back into my room with a towel secured
around my hips and laid down on the bed.  I really hadn’t wanted to tell
everyone about my dad yet.  Maybe that was the wrong decision, but it was the
one I made back in December.  How do you tell people who looked up at your
father as their own father or the closest thing they had to a father that he
was going to die.  I guess I needed to figure that out quickly, because
tomorrow was the day I’d been dreading, in more than one way.

Chapter 29

Jules

I stood in front of the full-length mirror in the
swanky hotel room and I wanted to hide.  She hated me—that was the only
conclusion I could come up with.  Devi detested me why else would she ten
minutes before it was time to leave have this this thing delivered to my room? 
Wasn’t it bad enough she had her husband manhandle me into a spa where I was
tortured for hours.  No apparently not, I thought when I turned so I could see
the back of this thing she called a dress.  My torture and humiliation was not
over for the day.

My phone rang in the other room and I attempted to
walk in the shoes that had been provided without falling and giving myself a
concussion in the process.  What was she thinking having me wear four inch
heels, granted they were chunky heels, but they were still heels.  Had she
forgotten about my lack of coordination?  Was she hoping that someone would
video me falling on my face so she could watch?

“What?” I snapped.

“I told you on the note I wanted a picture.”

“Devi,” I whined.

“Shut it, Juliet.”

“I thought you loved me.”

“I do.”

“Then why?”

“It’s for your own good, now send me that fucking
picture,” then she was gone.

I glared down at my phone, turned on the camera
app and took a picture of me flipping her off and sent it.

          Me:    There’s your fucking picture

Then I turned off the phone and pulled my skirt up
so my garter belt was showing, I slipped my phone, some cash, and my ID into
the pocket I had sewn in the back for such items.  I hated carrying a purse, it
never failed that I would sit it down someplace, walk off, and forget where I
put it hours later.  Having items down my bra was uncomfortable, so instead I
figured out that garter’s were the perfect place to put things.  Eh, it worked
for me at least.

I went back into the bathroom and stared once
again at my reflection.  The black dress was skin-fucking-tight and I felt like
my boobs were going to pop out at any moment.  Well what boobs I had, which
were drastically improved with the built-in bra of the dress.  The skirt, if it
could be called that, barely covered my snatch, showing off the garters along
with the tattoo on my left thigh.   The material stopped on my sides over my
ribs that started on the swell of my breast down to the top of my hip.  It  left
my back exposed except a piece of fabric that stretched across the lower part
of my shoulder blades.  My shoulders were bare then sleeves started on my upper
arms until my elbows where the material opened and hung, which was already
getting annoying.  The back of the dress didn’t start until my ass and the back
of the skirt was so long that without the shoes it dragged on the floor.  Over
all the dress would have been spectacular on anyone else.  Except this was me,
and I preferred jeans and T-shirts, the occasional skirt, but no Devi dressed
me up like Ho Barbie.

I spun around to check out the back and sighed my
back piece was there for the world to see.  It’s not that I was ashamed of it,
quite the opposite to be exact.  It was just extremely personal. It started
behind with stars behind my right ear that curved and followed my neck to my
shoulder blade, then it spun into the cosmos in brilliant purple, blues, and
greens that stood out in the black and grey background.  Then lightened as it
traveled downwards until you reached the middle of my back where ravens swooped
up to fade into the cosmos.  If you followed the trail of ravens, you’d find a
fallen angel sitting on the ground done in black and white.  She was hunched
over herself, arms crossed over her knees and face hidden behind her arms.  Her
wings drooping, all in all she was forlorn, lost and breaking.  The feathers of
her wings were falling away and turning into the ravens that were escaping her
broken soul.  She sat there scarred and defeated amongst a riot of nature,
trees, grass, life exuding from everyplace.  Only my grey angel was lost and
alone.

This piece had been my graduation present from
Cris, Max, and Devi.  It had taken the three of them working together months to
finish it, and I loved it.  It was my life story inked so deeply into my skin. 
Always the one left behind, the one who had things being taken from her without
her permission.  I tore my eyes away from the mirror; I couldn’t fall into that
void again.  It had been hard enough the first time to come out and realize
that I wasn’t just a spectator in everyone else’s lives.  That I deserved
someone to love me for me as well.

I checked my hair once more making sure that
everything was how the stylist had left it, as well as the make-up they had
done all while I bitched.  I stared into the face of a stranger; I didn’t like
this girl.  Her haunted eyes reminded me too much of the sixteen-year-old
version.

I turned and left the bathroom, adjusted my
fishnet stockings once more and headed out the door in search of the security
guy who was supposed to bring me to the club that the after-party was being
held.  I couldn’t stay trapped in this room any longer or I would drive myself
crazy.

Sam

I stood at the bar watching the crowd surge on the
dance floor.  I had no inclination of joining the mass of gyrating bodies
attempting to dance to what they called music.  I took a drink of my beer and
continued to people watch while keeping an eye on my watch.  Only one more hour
then I could leave this place and take something for the headache that was
pounding behind my eyes.

The last time I was in a club was when Ash and
Jules dragged me along.  Ash ended up taking off with Cris and we didn’t see
them again until the next day.  I’d had fun hanging out with Jules, drinking
and making fun of people attempting to dance and watching guys pick up women. 
She had leaned over while watching one particular disastrous pick up making up
her own dialogue based on their facial expressions and hand movements.  I’m
sure what she came up with had been far better than the actual conversation
that ended with the guy being slapped.

I turned to talk to Seth to find the back of a
woman, a very tattooed back of a woman.  My eyes drifted from the top of her
head where her hair was pinned up in some haphazard way that was supposed to
look like she had just tossed it up, but you knew took hours to get that way. 
Then to where a cluster of stars behind her ear trailed down her neck to an
amazing full back tattoo.  Part of the tattoo was blocked by a strip of her
dress on her back.  My gaze drifted down to a lonely black and grey angel that
was huddled in the middle of a beautiful garden scene.  I couldn’t stop staring
at that angel, the feathers of her wings were falling towards the ground only
to shift into birds and fly to the top of the piece.

I wanted to reach down and touch one of those
birds. I wanted to trace one of those feathers with my fingernail.  I wanted to
kiss away the angels tears.  The piece was amazing and utterly depressing. 
Loneliness seeped from that angel in waves and I wanted to know why this woman
would have such a tattoo adorning her body.

And god did she have a body, hips that flared out
from her waist that the tight black dress accentuated to a T.  Her neck was
made to trail kisses down.  I wanted to trace her spine with my tongue, and for
the first time in months, I wanted to take a woman back to my hotel room. 
Maybe she was exactly what I needed to get thoughts of Jules and our one
amazing kiss out of my head.

My eyes drifted down her body again and I noticed
that her skirt started just above one of the best asses I had ever seen.  I
closed my eyes and sucked in a breath hoping that my body would take the hint,
my blood flow was quickly rushing down to the lower half of my body.  I took
another deep breath and released it slowly before opening my eyes.

Lilac colored eyes framed in ridiculously long
eyelashes stared back at me.  I swallowed trying to relieve my suddenly parched
throat.  Lips that I had kissed days ago were tilted up in a smile and I wanted
to lean down and press mine against hers.  Her tits were out on display for the
world to see and I wanted to reach over and caress them and watch her nipples
harden under that thin dress.  My eyes followed her body, noticing the sides of
her breasts were exposed along with her ribs.  My eyes stalled on the flash of
garters that showed below that too short skirt.  I took in the tattoo along her
left thigh and down to the sexy as sin shoes I was sure she’d tripped over at
least once tonight.  She was my wet dream, in a sea of men who were staring at
her.

That thought snapped me to my senses. “What the
fuck are you wearing?” I growled.

“A dress.”

“Where’s the rest of it?”

“You don’t like it?” She spun around causing the
longer back of the skirt to flare out slightly.

I sucked in a breath and leaned forward so my
mouth was to her ear. “I love it, Jules, but I’d prefer if every other man here
had not seen you in it.”

She tilted her head so her breath fanned along my
ear and down my neck. “You don’t want me, so why shouldn’t I find someone who
does?”

Then the vixen turned kissed Seth on the cheek
then walked away into the mass of people.  I leaned against the bar, closed my
eyes, and willed my erection away.  She was going to be the death of me.

I felt a slap on my shoulder. “You okay, man?”

“No, not really.”

Seth laughed then walked away.  I quickly finished
the rest of my beer and flagged down the bartender for another, I was going to
need it.