Believed (My Misery Muse) (12 page)

Chapter 20

Jules

I climbed the stairs of the outdoor amphitheater
taking deep breaths of pine and snow scented air.  It’s incredible here, even
my anger at that asshole yanking me around like a criminal couldn’t take away
my amazement.  I had been willing to go along with him back to the bus.  I just
refused to be yanked along, and when my sketchpad fell from my hands all I wanted
to do was get it before I lost anything.  Only the bully wouldn’t listen to me,
he just continued to pull me away.

So I was pissed, my sketchpad contained drawings
and sketches of ideas and work people had contacted me about.  It was personal
and intimate.  I had jewelry designs in there, along with material lists,
pricing, and research.   It wasn’t something I could just lose, it was months,
no, years of work.

I kept climbing the stairs, all I had wanted was
to climb up here and sketch the amphitheater for a few hours.  It was how I
worked, I sketched things that intrigued me, then I ended up taking that
intrigue and turning it into design.  After I was finished here, I planned to
go to the visitor trading post not far from here.  I liked the idea of finding
materials I could use while I was on this trip.  I’d already collected things
from Vegas and Salt Lake City.  I wanted to see what I could find there.

I reached the top and I sat down to take in the
view.  The place was amazing and massive.  I took in the different views
looking to see if something called to me.  Finally, I found an area that
beckoned me, I pulled out my phone, plugged in my ear buds, hit random, and
waited for the music to start.  Vulnerable by Secondhand Serenade began to play
softly. I pulled my charcoals from bag and got lost in the view, the words of
the music pouring into my ears, the smells of Christmas trees.  All of it
combined into something that pulled me from the here and now into a world of
possibilities lined in black and grey.

I was pulled from my reverie when someone tugged
an ear bud from my ear. I startled and jerked away.  I was ready to either
scream or sprint as fast as I could away when I realized Sam was sitting beside
me.  I pressed a hand to my chest and took calming breaths all while glaring at
him.

“Sorry,” he said watching me.

“You suck,” I grumbled. “What do you want?”

“You’ve been up here for hours,” he told me
finally looking away from my face down at the stage that was teeming with
life.  “We’re almost done with the set up.”

I rolled my shoulders trying to work out the
stiffness, though it does little to help.

“Can I see?” Sam asked gesturing at my drawing.

I hand it to him then stand up stretching my
entire body, things pop back into place and I begin to feel human again.  I
also realized that the temperature had dropped and I was freezing.  I began
packing my things away in my messenger bag, ready to head to the bus to grab a
hoodie.

“This is amazing,” Sam murmured.

“Thank you,” I said softly.

“I know you make jewelry,” he said eyeing me.

I nodded.

“Now I know you sketch, anything else?”

“Not much, Devi tried to teach me how to paint but
I never really got into it.  Though I do like photography, but I’m not that
good at it.”

“You never wanted to tattoo?  I mean it’s just
that you work in a shop.”

“I thought about it actually, but blood icks me
out so I decided it probably wasn’t a good idea.  No one wants to get a tattoo
artist who passes out in the middle of the tattoo because of a little blood.”

He laughed softly. “No, I don’t think that would
be appreciated.  It doesn’t bother you while working there?”

“I can ignore it with what I do.  I handle
appointments, sell body jewelry, make sure the shop is stocked, things like
that.  I don’t have to deal with blood though.”

He nodded. “Makes sense.”

“They know better, the first time they had me
clean up after a tattoo, I ran out of the shop so I wouldn’t puke.  After that,
Cris kept me away from it.”

He smiled. “It’s not like there’s a lot of blood.”

I shrugged. “I can handle my own, just not
others.”

He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry about earlier
today, it was my fault.”

I cocked my head to the side and looked at him.
“It was your fault that guy dragged me back to the bus?”

“Well no, it was my fault you didn’t have your
badge.”

“Ah,” I mumbled.

“Forgive me?” he asked looking up at me with the
most adorable little boy face.

I sighed with a face like that how could I stay
angry with him. “You can make it up to me,” I told him instead.

“Name it.”

“Take me over to the gift shop.”

“That’s it, that’s all you want?” He asked eyeing
me strangely.

“I know it’s over here someplace, I just don’t
know where exactly.”

He nodded and stood up. “Let’s go.”

“Can we stop by the bus first?  I need a hoodie.”

He shrugged out of his own jacket and wrapped it
around my shoulders. “Yeah, let’s go get you a jacket.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled pushing my arms through the
sleeves; they were still warm from his skin.  I took a deep breath and inhaled
the combination of Colorado Rockies and Sam.  I decided nothing had ever
smelled more arousing and settling as that scent.

Sam

I followed Jules around the gift shop, she was
bouncing from one item to the next, inspecting each of them with great
concentration before moving on to the next.  Watching her was amusing as well
as intriguing.  As we’d walked over to the shop, she’d picked up random items
from rocks to leaves.  All the while explaining how she used random items in
her work.  That was why she wanted to come here.

I watched as she tucked a puzzle under her arm,
then a few shot glasses.  I didn’t see what she did, but when she found
something, she would furrow her brow and bite her lip before smiling slowly.  I
could get used to watching this process, she was so lost in her ideas she
didn’t notice anything else.  When she saw a wooden box filled with native
rocks that had been polished, she squealed and clapped her hands before walking
swiftly over there.  It took her thirty minutes going through each compartment
while filling up the largest velour bag they had.  I laughed as she manipulated
and shoved as many rocks, crystals, and pyrite as possible.

After she was through shopping, she put her random
items down on the counter and began looking around at the items they had
there.  She added a few more items to her growing pile. I was tempted to offer
to pay, only I didn’t think that would be appreciated.  She quickly paid as
well as got some quarters then we headed back to the front door.  She stopped
me though, when we got to a machine where you put a penny in and chose an
image.  Then using a crank, the machine stamped the image into the penny.  I
watched as she did this four times, one of each image.

Finally, she looked up and blinked up at me, it
was like she’d forgotten anyone was with her until now.  She looked a bit
sheepish. “Sorry.”

“It was fun,” I said honestly. “I think I just got
a dose of what it’s like to be around me when I’m working on a new song.”

She grinned. “Nah, you’re worse.”

“Probably,” I agreed.  “How did you get into
this?”

“Into what?”

“Making jewelry.”

“Mom actually, she had a friend who made wire
jewelry.  I was interested, so she agreed to teach me. Mom was just happy I
found something that kept me busy other than working at the shop.  I was still
getting into trouble and she was worried.  Anyway, I fell in love and wanted to
learn more.”  She looked up at me. “I met some people and learned more,
eventually I took some classes.  It’s all just escalated, I’m still learning
but I love it.”

“It’s cool that she encouraged you.”

“Didn’t your parents encourage you?” She asked
frowning up at me.

“Uh, not exactly.  I mean, when I was younger they
encouraged me wanting to learn to play the guitar.  Just when I chose to play
in a band instead of go off to college to play football, they didn’t exactly
agree.”

She nodded and bit her lip. “That sucks, I mean
they support you now though.”

I shrugged. “I guess so, we don’t really talk
about it.”

“Huh,” she said looking confused.

“What?”

“It’s just that they brag about you, well both you
and Max.  You, the talented guitar player making it when so many don’t and your
brother and his artistic abilities.”

It was my turn to look perplexed. “I didn’t know
that,” I mumbled.

She nodded. “Your mom’s gushed to me more than
once.  And your dad has all your albums up on the shelf in his office at home.”

I looked out over the Rockies and thought about
what she said.  I really didn’t know how my parents felt about my decision
now.  I mean they stopped riding my ass about it once we were signed.  I just
figured they realized I wasn’t going to college especially after we left for
L.A.  It didn’t stop the pain my father had inflicted, but it did make me
think.

Chapter 21

Jules

I was sitting at one of the picnic tables that
were set up in the backstage area of the venue.  Cris had asked me if I could
do the orders for him, so I was going through the stock.  I’d talked Cris into
turning everything digital last year so I could see what was low and what we
needed.  It would have been better if I could actually see the shelves as well
as the computer but he didn’t know how to use the software.  No one at the shop
actually knew how to use the software, despite how many times I’d argued with
Cris that he needed to learn, he always said he wouldn’t need to with me
around.  Maybe when I got back he’d realize that it would be a good idea after
all for me to teach him.

I was going through the spreadsheets while making
notes on what needed to be ordered when the table shook.  I peeked up and
nearly groaned aloud.  Lana, from the opening band, sat there glaring at me.  I
had no idea what her problem was but I had a feeling she’d tell me shortly.  So
I just kept working ignoring her presence hoping it would piss her off.

“I hope you don’t think this actually works,” she
snapped.

“Hmm?” I said still focusing on the sale of body
jewelry for the month, I was pleased to see that the numbers had begun to rise
since Haven began working at the shop.

“That staying on their bus will make any of them
want you.  Ian told me about your game.”

“My game?” I asked absently rechecking the number
of sales against the inventory I had, the numbers weren’t adding up.

“Hey, I’m talking to you,” she growled snapping
her fingers in my face.

I slowly looked up from the computer and whatever
look I had on my face, made her pull her hand back quickly.  Which was a smart
idea on her part since I was thinking about snapping those fingers from her
hand. 

“What. Do. You. Want?” 

“They’re too smart to fall for you,” she said
eyeing me up and down.

I stared at her confused. “What?”

“I can see what you’re doing. One of them won’t
fall in love with you just because you’re staying on the bus.  So whatever
plans you have of getting some kind of paycheck for being the band’s whore you
can forget about it.”

I continued to stare at her this time confusion
morphing into incredulity.  Then I bent over laughing my ass off.  I was laughing
so hard I was gasping for air. “Oh my god,” I gasped out.

I finally pulled myself together and wiped my eyes
from the tears that had leaked out. I flicked my wrist in her direction. “Run
along.”

She was seething mad at that point. “They see
right through you.”

“No honey, they see right through you,” I told
her.  “They see right through you hanging on them and thrusting your fake-ass
tits in their faces, every time you think you’re being sly by rubbing up
against them.  They’ve been there and done that. Hell, I’ve seen better
attempts on trying to get one of their attention.”

She blanched. “And a piece of advice,” I added. 
“You might want to think twice before rubbing on Seth like a cat in heat, Devi
puts up with it from the fan girls because she doesn’t have a choice.  You, on
the other hand, she won’t be so kind to.”

She sniffed. “Like you know what you’re talking
about,” she said trying to regain whatever upper hand she thought she had.

I grinned. “Want to call her?  Just give me a
minute,” I told her and fished my cell phone from my messenger bag.  I pulled
up Devi’s number and looked over at Lana.  “You want to call her or me?”

She gaped at me. “How… how…?”

“How do I know Seth’s wife?” I asked. “The same
way I know Sam’s brother, I’m not some band fuck,” I spit out.  “You might want
to get your facts straight next time instead of believing whatever Ian tells
you.  I’ll be honest it’s not out of the realm of possibility that one of the
guys will have sex with you, but don’t expect more than that from them.”

I went back to work while she sat there like a
fish out of water.  I rolled my eyes when she eventually got up and walked
off. 

          Me:    You’re a saint

          Devi:  Why today?

          Me:    How do you put up with all the
drama bullshit?

          Devi:  Ah, I wave my wedding ring around

          Me:    I don’t have one of those :p

          Devi:  Not yet

          Me:    WTH?!?!

I sat there for a few minutes waiting for Devi to
respond but she never did.  What in the hell was she talking about?  I sighed
and put my phone down and went back to work.  Granted, there was always drama
at the shop, but being here was like drama on steroids.

I finally just ended up making the order and
decided to deal with the discrepancies when I got back.  Even if I called Cris
to talk about it, he wouldn’t understand what I was talking about.  Without
standing there and looking through the cases and the shelves I wasn’t going to
be able to figure out where the missing items had gone.  So after I had the
orders processed, I went back to the bus and got ready for tonight’s show.

I went through my clothes and pulled out a long
sleeve ink goddess shirt and a clean pair of jeans.  I knew once the sun went
down this place was going to get cold.  So I layered up quickly then headed
back into the lounge so I could snack on some of the goodies mom had sent while
I waited for the guys to get back.  They were off doing a meet and greet before
the show.  I had no interest in going to watch a crowd of women trying to
seduce them.

When I walked out of the bunk area though, I
stopped.  I wasn’t sure if I gasped or not but I could feel my cheeks begin to
burn red.  Then I squealed, “Oh My God, I need eye bleach,” and quickly covered
my face.  I really wanted to un-see the groupie bent over the couch while X
fucked her, I never needed that image burnt into my brain.

“Jules,” X said.

“No, shut up,” I gasped out. I was trying not to
start laughing I needed him to not give some excuse or I was going to lose it.

“Who’s she?” A whiney voice asked.

I slapped a hand over my mouth to cover the
giggle.  “No one, ignore me, I’m, uhm, just leaving.” Then I turned around and
walked straight into a wall.  “Ow,” I groaned and rubbed my already bruised
forehead.

“Jules, you okay?” X asked sounding amused.

I waved my hand in the direction of the lounge.
“Fine, great, yeah just leaving, again,” I said then walked through the doorway
this time into the bunks.  I sat down on the floor and began to giggle.

Sam

I walked onto the bus to find X pulling his pants
up while some groupie was rearranging her skirt.  I rolled my eyes and walked
past the duo so I could get a bottle of Gatorade.

“Have you seen Jules?” I asked.

“Uhm yeah, she’s back there,” he said gesturing
towards the bunks.

I closed my eyes. “What happened?”

“Didn’t realize she was here.”

I groaned then took a drink. “I need to get
ready.”

“Hey you might want to take her an ice pack,” X
called.

“Why?”

“She kinda ran into the wall.”

“That girl is a threat to herself,” I mumbled to
myself then grabbed an ice pack. I’d had Ian stock the freezer up.  With Jules
around, we needed that along with a fully stocked first aid kit.

I walked through the curtain and found Jules
sitting on the floor; she looked up at me and her cheeks turned pink.  I
squatted down beside her and brushed her hair off her forehead gently.

“Heard you had a rough day?” I murmured looking at
her bruise, it had begun to lighten up but I could already see where areas were
more swollen from today’s incident.  I gently pressed the ice pack to her
forehead.

“You need to be more careful,” I whispered looking
down into her purple eyes.

“I didn’t mean to.”

“What happened?”

“I walked in on,” she waved towards the lounge,
“so I closed my eyes and turned to leave then walked into a wall.”

I ran a finger down her soft cheek and watched as
her eyes fluttered closed.  It would be so easy to lean down and kiss her.  I
really wanted to kiss her. I watched as her cheeks once again turned that
gorgeous shade of pink.  Only this time I didn’t think it had anything to do
with embarrassment.

“Sam,” she whispered.

“Hmm,” I said running the calloused pad of my
finger along the soft cheek I leaned down closer to her plump slightly abused
red lips.  I watched as she pulled her lip ring into her mouth and groaned.  I
leaned farther down and gently bit her bottom lip, I’d seen her abuse this lip
more than once and had imagined being the one to bite it for a change.  I ran
my tongue across the abraded skin before pressing my lips against hers.

She sighed in my mouth and I took the opportunity
to taste her, running my tongue across her slightly parted lips.  I nearly
moaned; she tasted like sin and chocolate.  I gently opened her lips further
with my own and ran my tongue across hers, what began as a simple kiss quickly
turned into a lust infused kiss that had us both panting.  I pulled back
slightly and ran my tongue across her lips once more flicking her lip ring.  I
watched as she opened her eyes slowly, the usual lilac color  had deepened with
want.

We sat there staring at one another just
breathing, until I heard footsteps heading our way.  I pressed a soft kiss to
her lips before I stood and headed towards the back room.  I needed to get
ready for tonight, and I needed to get away from Jules before I did something
dumb, well, dumber than I already had.

I made sure to stay far away from Jules, when we
finally went on stage, I let out a breath.  I could still taste her and it was
driving me crazy.  I didn’t know why I kissed her, I knew better.  Luckily once
we started playing I was able to put it out of my head, or that’s what I had
thought.  Only I kept catching myself glancing over in the wings to check on
her.  I could still see her the last time she was backstage and her pale face. 
I didn’t want that to happen, I was just trying to do what my brother asked.

I kept trying to justify I was just taking care of
her, only I knew I was lying to myself.  I wasn’t doing it for Max; I needed to
make sure she was safe.  I forced myself not to look back her direction and
instead threw myself into the show.  She needed more than I could give.