Bellissimo Lotta (Beautiful Struggle): Companion Novel to Bellissimo Fortuna (The Family Trilogy Book 2) (21 page)

“Deal. I win, you find a job in Miami to be close to me and Angelo.”

“Agree.”

Two shots are placed in front of us. “Ladies, you can’t wager without something to chase it down with.” Heath is standing at my shoulder, grinning by my startled expression and catching me before I fall out of the chair. He has a way of sneaking up on me. “Callie, good to see you again. As much as I wish for your happiness, I hope you lose the bet because I don’t think I could live with Bianca moving to Miami.”

I laugh. “Charmer. Callie you remember Heath?”

She studies him, “Yeah. How are you?” Her eyes dart between us.

“Good. How are you doing?”

“Getting there. You know how it is.”

He looks to me and says, “Yeah, I know.” He smiles to Callie, “Enjoy your night. Good to see you again.” He trails his hand across my neck and disappears in the crowd.

“You have something to tell me?”

I pick up my shot, “Yep, drink up, hussy. You have a big decision to make tonight, remember?” Trying to change the subject proves futile for her.

Lynsey’s voice is in the background, haunting me with a version of ‘Stop the Bleeding’ by Sarah Darling. Callie faces me, grabs my chin, “Binks, talk to me. You dropped a bombshell on me in regards to Dakota yet you refuse to tell me the story . . . I need you to be okay. Please, tell me what to do?”

“Callie, you can’t help. It happened. I don’t want to talk about it because even though it’s been a year it still fucking
hurts
. I feel like I’m ripped open every time I think of it. I taste bile in my throat when I try and talk about it. I can’t. “God, I didn’t want this tonight.

“What are you going to do? This isn’t healthy.”

“Well, you know how they say misery loves company? I’m that bitch’s best friend. I’m trying. Every day, I’m trying. I get up, smile, laugh . . . and it all feels empty, it’s all useless. I could forgive him, but I don’t know how to get there. I can’t forget. There is a lot that led up to it. You being gone, Bronson off the rails, Dakota got some news. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. He reacted in the way he did, and I witnessed it.” I take a deep breath and admit to her something she could understand. “Through it all, the tears, the fights, the pain . . . I love him. I’ll always love him. I love who I became with him and hate who I am without him.”

“No, Bianca. You are just you. With him you may have been free to let your guard down, but you can do that with all of us. I don’t know what to tell you. I told you one time that I thought you were two pieces that were right together but weren’t quite fitting. I hope that’s still the case, because besides my love for Bronson, I’ve never seen two people more perfect for one another. I’m not saying forgive him today, or next week, but somehow you have to forgive him. If you never end up together, you have to forgive him . . . for you.”

“I agree.” Lynsey takes a seat across from me and stares hard at me. “Forgiveness isn’t just for the person you are granting it to; it’s for you. When you release it, you release the part of yourself that you’ve buried. It’s the only way you can move on.”

“Great, I have two champions for my soul.” I smile to ease the sarcasm. They have my best interest at heart. “Callie, this is Lynsey. Lynsey, this is Callie.”

“I feel like I already know you.” Lynsey gives her a warm smile. We all continue to chat until Callie announces it’s time for her to head home. I call her a cab. “I’m glad you’re home.”

“Binks, there’s nowhere else I want to be. I love you.”

“Love you. I’m glad you got your happy ever after. If anyone deserves it, you do.”

“Don’t shortchange yourself. You deserve it.”

“I’ve got some baggage to work through. I’m not sure what I’m ready for.”

“Well.” She looks over her shoulder. “Someone with some broad shoulders who’d be willing to carry that for you seemed to give you some attention tonight. What’s up with that?”

“Nothing, I promise. We almost had a date, but I called it off. He let me know he’s interested but left it up to me.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“Didn’t you just get finished telling me you thought I was a perfect fit for someone else?”

“No, I said I hoped that was the case . . . I’m rethinking that after tonight. Someone who can hurt you so bad . . . well I’m not sure the fit is that perfect anymore. It’s not my choice anyway.”

“Go home, Callie.” I walk her outside and help her in the cab. I stop by the bar on my way back to my table and grab another drink.

Heath comes back over. “You taking a cab home?”

“Yes,” I tell him, downing my drink in one gulp. The heavy conversation with Callie has me tense.

“I’ll drive you,” he informs me. And yes, he informs me. Bosses me. His voice gives no room for argument. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol, knowing Bronson and Callie will make their family united, or if I’m realizing I’ll never forgive Dakota, but Heath is turning me on.

“Sure.” I wink at him. I’m pretty sure it’s the alcohol because I don’t wink.

He laughs at me and leans close. “You’ve had enough, Bianca. I’ll get you some water.” He removes the empty glass from the table.

“You’d have a much better end to your evening if you let me have another.”

Leaning in as close as possible with the table separating us, I feel his breath tickling my ear. “You aren’t ready to play in my league. Don’t make insinuations you aren’t ready to back up. When you’re sober and ready, we’ll talk.”

What the hell is wrong with me . . . I get shot down by a guy who wanted to date me not even a year ago. I wait for him to disappear in the crowd and search my phone for a cab company. My pride has taken enough hits. I’m not done dialing and my phone is snatched out of my hand and a bottle of water placed in front of me. “What the fuck?”

“Don’t test me, Bianca. Not tonight. You sat here flirting, having drinks with friends, told me you were down to fuck, when we both know you aren’t. You’re coming close to shredding my control.”

I snap my mouth shut, my indignation leaving me as I soak in his words. “Are you still interested in me?”

“Are you that clueless? In case you are, the answer would be yes.”

“You shouldn’t be.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I’ll never fall in love again.”

“You’re young, you don’t know what the future holds.”

“I do.”

“You’re tipsy, bordering on drunk. Don’t spill your secrets, I’ll just use them to my advantage.”

I guffaw at him. “We were trained to guard our secrets. What we should have been taught is to guard our hearts.”

“But a heart is meant to be set free. I understand better than you think, Bianca. I understand that life. I understand you.”

“No, you don’t. You don’t know me.”

“Want to wager on that?”

“Sure, what are the stakes?”

“A date. I pick you up. I take you home. You set all your bullshit aside for that night and give it a chance.”

He’s so losing this. “Tell me who I am.”

“Princess. Not in your eyes, but those who surround you. The carefree, don’t give a fuck girl is the attitude you portray, but on the inside you’re the confused woman. You think you’re broken, you think love only exists for others. You were hurt. Probably by your first love, and you secretly wish there was a way to fix what went wrong. You trust few but you give them all of you. Some have been deserving, one wasn’t. Callie wears love all over her face and you’re happy for her but cynical at the same time. You think it’s easier to shut down, not go for the gusto because without risk there won’t be pain.”

“Fuck,” I whisper.

“So tomorrow night. I’ll pick you up at six. Dress casual.” He smirks at me. “Oh, and just so you know . . . you’re not broken, we are all made to bend. And if it’s love, the kind meant to withstand time, nothing is unfixable. And life without risks, there’s still pain because you miss out on all the beauty of it when you’re too afraid to experience it. That’s lonely, and you don’t deserve lonely. You deserve everything.”

I stare at him. His smile mesmerizes me, and I don’t know how to feel. “Drink your water, and we’ll leave in an hour. I need to take care of a few things.” Without another word, he walks off and leaves me stupefied.

I need to go home, eat ice cream in vast amounts and contemplate how I feel about these turns of events. I text Callie, knowing she’s busy; either on her knees or her back. This situation warrants a phone call, but I’ll help a bitch out and let her enjoy her night.

Me: 9-1-1 Once you’re done doing the dirty let me know- apparently I have a date tomorrow night adn am confused how this transpired

I know I won’t hear back from her until the morning but just sending it makes me feel better.

Me: Also, I’m never drinking again.

She’ll know that’s a lie, but she’ll allow me to believe it. I sip my water, watch some people dry humping on the dance floor, watch a few other people makes asses of themselves, and wait until Heath is ready to drive me home. I give myself pep talks to prepare myself, knowing I need my guard up, he’s seen enough. He’s too close and is good at whatever game he is playing.

The drive is tense. There’s so much I could say, cutting words and insults to keep him at a distance, but something stops me, not allowing me to say them.

“Tomorrow, six,” he reiterates as he drops me off.

“Okay,” I agree as I open the door and flee the car.

I wake to Angelo crawling over me while Callie stands at the foot of my bed. “What the . . .”

“Language. I swear if he starts cussing I’ll kill you or Bronson. Or both.”

“What are you doing here?”

“You have a date. I have time to make up for. Get up, let’s go.” So I do. I shop. I primp. I wait and I fight the excitement building up inside of me.

Heath arrives at six, and I’m whisked away. Not really, we walk outside; he opens the door, compliments me, and we leave. “You look gorgeous,” he says.

“Not too shabby yourself.” It’s silent again.

“Are you nervous, Bianca?”

“I don’t know what I am.” Honesty.

“I know you’ve dated.”

“A little. Mostly I date-napped.”

“What?”

“Dates so boring, I found myself dozing off during them. Date-napping.” How does he not know what this is?

“Let me know if I put you to sleep and I’ll fix my tactics.” He chuckles at me. I don’t think that will be an issue with all the tingles and electricity floating through my body.

“You’ll be the first to know. Although snoring is a pretty good indication.”

His head falls back to the headrest, his mouth open wide, and laughter gushing from his chest. “You never cease to amaze me, gorgeous.” He reaches over and takes my hand. It feels nice.

Our dinner conversation is light, no pressure. “You going to be in town next weekend?”

“No, I have graduation. After that I’m home for a bit until I decide where I want to teach.”

“Teacher, huh?”

“Yep, I’m going to apply in Tampa I think, or maybe Miami if I lose that bet.”

“I’ll have to make sure you win. Tampa isn’t too far but Miami . . . not so much,” he announces, like he’s trying to reassure himself. “I’d be happier if it was here you were looking.”

“Since my career and future isn’t all about you, it’s a good thing I’m not taking that into consideration. This is a small town, not lots of opportunity. Especially with the last name I carry.” My dad may be dead, Frank Locati dead, the mob pretty much nonexistent in this town . . .but with my last name, people don’t bend like they used to.
”

“I’d like to think your future will concern me, but we’ll get there.”

“Heath, I don’t know.”

“Then it’s a good thing I’m sure enough for the both of us. I waited patiently. This is me losing patience.”

He walks me up to the door, cups my face lightly, and kisses the tip of my nose, my cheek, and barely skims his lips over mine. That’s it. He murmurs, “Good night, gorgeous. Talk to you later.” I watch his backside stroll down the walkway, and he fades into the car and down the street.

Dakota is sitting with the rest of my family watching, celebrating this day with me. I hear him whistle as I walk across the stage to get my degree. He deserves to be here with me. He was a huge part of these years. I reach up and tug the pendant that was sent over this morning.

The card was simple.

Enjoy your day. The hard work has paid off. I know it’s not the same, but wanted to give you something to make this day a bit easier.

Heath

I opened the box, my eyes filled with tears, and my heart swelled. Nestled in the velvet was something I needed more than anything. A pendant dangling with a long silver necklace that reads:

Dad,

I know you are walking beside me today.

Love you always.

I was a college graduate, a huge milestone, and the first of mine since my dad was gone. He eased that pain.