Bellissimo Lotta (Beautiful Struggle): Companion Novel to Bellissimo Fortuna (The Family Trilogy Book 2) (5 page)

“What the fuck are you wearing?” I hiss at Bianca. Bronson and Callie just left the deli, bailing on the movie, and I assured Bronson I’d take care of her.

“Clothes.”

“I think you left some of them at home.” Her shirt shows the tan complexion of her stomach, and my fingers are itching to caress it. She removes her jacket, and I damn near swallow my tongue. Her body is pure sin, and I shouldn’t have these thoughts.

She’s my best friend’s sister.

The Mob boss’s daughter.

“If it offends you that much, don’t look.” Her quick tongue is masking the rejection my words made her feel.

I grab her arm as she tries to exit the car. “Bianca, it doesn’t offend me. It turns me on. You want me to be real? I’m so fucking attracted to you, and you’re a mystery to me. It drives me crazy.”

“Oh.”

“That’s all you have to say. You’ve been playing this game with me for a year. Hot and cold. I get too close and you retreat. You push me and I decline. I don’t know what the fuck I want and after hearing the Bronson and Callie fiasco all day, I sure as hell am not ready to put someone else’s life above mine.”

“I’m not playing games, Dakota. I’m actually trying to figure out what the fuck I want, who the hell I am outside of my family. If you want real, I can tell you, you’ve starred in many of my dreams. You’re the one I reach out to when I need a bit of stability. I don’t want Callie and Bronson. I’m not asking you for forever, I don’t know that I’m capable of giving that to you.”

“So what now?”

“Why do we have to label it?”

“Isn’t that the guy’s line?”

“I can assure you I don’t have a dick . . . if you’d like to check for yourself,” she whispers as she leans toward me over the console. And I lose my mind. I don’t just meet her halfway. I race to close the distance and then haul her over to me. Plastering her against me, I seal my lips over hers, my tongue demanding entrance. She intoxicates me. Her scent, the velvety feel of her tongue as it slides against mine, her whimpers, her hands fisting my shirt . . . her total submission. Bianca Agosto is a paradox, a siren that likes to battle for control, but doesn’t really want it. It’s the chase she is after. She lets me take the lead. I remove her hands from my shirt and pin them both behind her back with one hand, while my other goes to the back of her head, fisting her hair. I angle her head back and take advantage of the access to her neck it allows me. Biting, then soothing with my tongue, the column of her neck down to her collarbone.

“I can assure you, when I want to find out, I will have no problem doing so.” Her eyes flutter, she’s trying to regain awareness; I release her hands and hair, stop my kisses, and meet her gaze. She can wreck me if I risk it. She can’t have that chance.

“So what now?”

“Now, we’re just us . . . with benefits.”

“Dating?” She gives me the cutest smirk.

“Sure, you want to tell my brother and my dad?”

“Not really.”

“So quit labeling it. If you want to see other people, go for it. But, when we start sleeping together, that part is exclusive.”

“When?”

“Yes, and I’m not waiting forever. You don’t need to worry about my virtue.” I used to consider myself a good guy. Now, I’m not so sure. I’m actually considering this.

“Okay.” Who am I kidding? I’m more than considering it. I’ve just jumped in, eyes wide open, on a collision course to hell. I can’t help but smile when I picture all the twists and turns, many roadblocks, and freedom we will face along the way.

“Can we continue what we were doing before you rudely halted it?”

“You’re going to tempt me beyond all reason,” I cut her response off, claiming her lips once again.

Time changes everything except something within us which is always surprised by change.

~
Thomas Hardy

Chapter 5

Bianca

I had been kissed before Dakota…he wasn’t the first, by any means. But he was certainly the most memorable. The sure fire way he set me off, I felt enflamed by his mouth alone. After the clusterfuck of a day with Callie and Bronson, I was feeling a bit bereft. I knew the day would come that those two would unite, and I’m thrilled for them, but I’m curious how it will play out, where I will fit in. Callie has been my best friend for eleven years, Bronson is not only my big brother, but he’s been my protector,
our
protector, for as long as I can remember, and I’ve never doubted my place in his life until today. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have had the chance to be alone, after dark with any boy, Dakota included, but that didn’t hold true any longer.

I finally may get the freedom I crave, but I can’t help feeling a little lost in these new circumstances. Callie is upset and elated at the same time; any hope of a relationship with her dad was pretty much crushed, yet at the same time she got the boy who has held her heart for the last decade. She announced at six she was going to marry him, he reacted by rescuing her from the bathroom when she locked herself in there, pronounced to her that she would be the most beautiful bride, and couldn’t wait to see her at the end of the aisle. That sealed their fate. I may be a bitch for wondering what my role or place will be in their changing world, but I can’t control my thoughts.

She would do anything for my brother, and I couldn’t be happier for them, but I still don’t get it. How do you know that you want to spend your life with just one person? And at such a young age? I like Dakota, am attracted to him, but I just don’t believe in love. I’ve seen my parents happily married for over twenty years, but I see the sacrifices they make for one another, the concessions for the other person, and I’m too selfish for that. Truth is, it terrifies me. I can’t fathom how one person can be so dependent on another for their happiness, their security. I’ve lived my entire life being sheltered, watched over, and protected. I don’t want security, I don’t want forever; I want in the moment, I want recklessness; I want to make mistakes and learn from them. Instead of the lessons being told to me, I want to experience them.

Callie begins stirring next to me. Her eyes open, her smile follows, and I see the contentment in her face. Her demeanor screams peace. She deserves it.

“Good morning, Princess.” I throw my pillow at her. “Surprised the big bad wolf didn’t keep you in his den all night.”

She giggles, and I feel it in my heart. I love her, and seeing her happy eases most of my doubts. “Please tell me I didn’t dream yesterday.”

“It was real. You’re claimed, and now we’ll be sisters.”

“Weren’t we already?”

“Yes, but now it will be official. How are you with everything?”

“Overwhelmed. Please don’t tell your brother, I don’t want him to worry, or think I’m questioning our relationship. I just feel like so much happened in a short amount of time.”

“It did. And Callie, I’m still your best friend. You can tell me anything.”

“I know. I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Our dynamic changing. We’ve been us for as long as I can remember. Bronson’s had his place, but now things are going to change.”

“Not all change is bad.”

“You aren’t worried?”

“Nope,” I lie. I won’t take this from her or cause her any more concern. “We will always be us, best friends. Sisters. We will have our secrets, our friend time, but you need to embrace this. You’ve waited your entire life for him, and your dreams are coming true.”

Tears shimmer in her eyes. “I know. And to think it was all catapulted by my father. I guess I can’t say he never gave me anything.”

“Don’t joke about that Callie. It’s okay to be hurt and upset about that. He is your dad.”

“I guess.”

“What?”

“Your brother has strong opinions on the subject. He thinks I shouldn’t waste any emotion, unless it’s pure hatred, on my dad, but I’m not wired like that. He’s vile, he’s a dick, he’s mean . . .”

“But he’s still your dad. I don’t get it, but I get you. Your heart is too big for your own good. Don’t hide your feelings from him; don’t make the mistake of starting your relationship with a lie. Either agree to disagree, not discuss it, or talk to me. Don’t discount your feelings. I’ll always listen.”

“I love you, Binks. What’s up with you?” She is studying my face, trying to get a read on my emotions. I gave her that speech about fathers, and I need to take my own advice. Make peace with what he is and accept the love he’s always given me.

“Love you, Princess.” She rolls her eyes at me. “So Dakota and I . . . we are going to try something.” I waggle my eyebrows at her.

“Dating?”

“God, no.” I scrunch my nose in disgust.

“What’s with you and labels?”

“I hate them. Unless they are Coach, Gucci, Chanel.”

“Snob.”

“You know it.” I throw my nose in the air, and my brother knocking and entering interrupts our giggles.

“Hey, how’s my girl?” He moves to Callie's side, and the way he watches her, studies her, makes me long for something. I’m not sure what.

“That’s my cue to leave. Don’t have sex in my bedroom.”

“Fuck, Bianca.”

“
Don’t
fuck, Bronson.” Callie is blushing but still laughing at this game I play with him. It frustrates him that I can be so crass, unfiltered, but that’s how I know he cares.

“Get out.”

“Um, you do know whose room you’re in?” I smile at him sweetly.

“Bianca, I swear you were dropped on your head at birth.”

“From startling the doctor with my beauty. He was thrown for a loop.”

“You know you were delivered by a woman?” my mom says from the doorway.

“Whatever. Beauty is beauty. “

“I’m going to start breakfast. I expect all of you down in ten minutes.” We all salute her, and she shakes her head, ignoring us

“Can we get a few minutes?” Bronson asks me.

“Earlier rules still apply.” I need to leave before tonsil hockey starts. He’s still my brother, and that’s just nasty.

“You can be such a pain in the ass.”

“
Ce un cibirut.” I watch the vein in his neck pulse, and I laugh. I’ve just told him he has a small penis. “Callie, want me to translate?”

“OUT!” I flip him off as I leave the room. I hear Callie asking what I said, and I have to grab hold of the banister to keep myself upright as I double over with laughter. He’s stumbling for words.

“I SAID HE HAS A SMALL PENIS!”

“Bianca.” Poor Callie. She’s been a permanent fixture in my life; her loyalties will be tested. She wants to laugh at me, but instead she scolds me because she doesn’t want to embarrass Bronson.

“True story. I have pictures from when mom put us in the bathtub together. I just wanted to warn my best friend what she is getting into . . . or what wouldn’t be getting into her.”

He slams the door in my face, and I look up to my mom’s face, trying to hide her smile. “Why do you torture him?”

“He makes it easy.”

She nods in response.

“Are you okay with that?” She points to my bedroom.

“Of course.”

“Then what’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing. This is the day we’ve been waiting for.”

“You avoid your father, you’re never home, you don’t talk to me.”

“I’m a teenager. It’s normal.”

“Not for you.”

I roll my eyes and try to walk around her. She grabs me in a hug. “Figlia, we love you. Whatever is in your head, I’m here. No judgments.”

“That’s good. You can’t judge my actions when you’re married to a murderer.” I can’t believe I just blurted that out, and by the look on my mom’s face, I gutted her. I hear a throat clearing and turn to see my father staring at me, his eyes hold moisture, and he looks crestfallen. “I’m so sorry.” I look between them both. I’m trying not to cry, I don’t deserve the release of pain after saying that . . . to both of them.

“Bianca,” my mom starts.

“Gianna, let it go for now.” He walks past me like I don’t exist.