Bellissimo Rilascio (Beautiful Release): The Family Series #3 (17 page)

“I never did that.”

“It’s not about truth, it’s about who will believe it when I tell them.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

‘You’re hot when you’re mad. Your face gets all stone-like. Chiseled. Your dimple shows, and the veins in your neck become thick.”

His eyes search my body, landing on my lips. “Not gonna work.”

“Oh, I bet it would. If it didn’t, then you’d lose your man card, for sure.”

He grunts as he stalks towards me, throws me over his shoulder, smacks my ass, and proves to me just how well
it
works.

Chapter Twenty
-
Two

Dakota

My case is coming to an end here in New Orleans, and the decision to return to Miami or stay here is weighing heavily on me. I don’t want to go back without Lisa, but it isn’t fair to drag her into the mess I left there.

The last few months seem to have gone by at warp speed. We’ve had our speed bumps . . . mainly her lying to me. That party pissed me off. I never gave her the impression she couldn’t open up to me. I sip my beer and think about how far we’ve come.

Leaving that night I was pissed. Part of me wanted to say fuck it, and the other part wanted her to have a reason. A valid one. I waited at my apartment until I heard her coming and threw the door open, ready for a confrontation.

“Dakota, do you want me to explain or do you just want an excuse?”

“An excuse for what?”

“To end this . . . whatever it is.”

I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Hearing the words and realizing she believed them shocked me. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, but since those words were spoken out loud, I knew it wasn’t that. I didn’t want an ending with Lisa. We sure have muddled things up. “No,” I manage on exhale.

“Then we can talk. You can listen to my excuse and voice your opinion. We can be grown up and build a foundation, or we can throw in the towel now.”

My body immediately relaxed, wanting to welcome her. I opened my door wider, and my eyes tracked every movement she made into my apartment. She had a death grip on her purse, clutching it to her like a shield. She scanned every nook and cranny of my apartment, even though she’s been in here plenty of times. “Relax, Lisa. I’m sorry for coming off like a jackass.” Her anxiety was washing off her in spades. I mentally berated myself for scaring her.

“I don’t know where to start.”

“Why’d you lie?”

She opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again. She tossed her head back and exhaled. “When I met you in the lobby that day, I had no clue who you were. I didn’t for a few weeks until our first official date. By then you had seen me at my worst, and I wanted to show you my best.”

“Worst?”

“Clumsy, mortified, mute, mouthy, rude . . .”

“I saw all those things and still wanted more. Why couldn’t you tell me?”

“I was afraid if you found out who my father was, you’d end this before it started. I was selfish. I was drawn to you and wanted a chance. I didn’t understand what you saw in me, I’d made a fool of myself more times than I could count, but you still were interested.”

“You should have told me. Given me the choice.”

“I know that. I just wanted to be your choice.”

“You are.”

“But would I have been then?” I mull it over. There isn’t a rule saying I couldn’t date her, it just makes it awkward. I think of never experiencing her quirks, laughing with her, holding her, falling for her.

“I can say you would have been. These months have meant more than you know. I can’t deal with lies, and I don’t like you just running from me when things aren’t what you like. You never gave me the chance to discuss the Bianca situation, you didn’t listen to what I was saying, drew your own conclusions, and left. Taking my choice from me again.”

Her eyes are downcast, shame tinting her cheeks. “This is new for me. I’m second guessing everything I do and say.”

“Don’t. Just be you. I fell for the goofy, clumsy girl I knocked over in the lobby. She’s what I dream of, she’s what I want after a long day . . . she may be my future.”

Tears brim her eyes, and a few fall over. I reach and pull her to me, comforting her, allowing her to sink in and absorb my strength. “I’m sorry, Dakota.”

“I know. You don’t have a malicious bone in your body, but you have to work with me if you want us to have that future.” Her nod against my chest is the only reassurance I need.

She pulls back and goes to the couch. “Can we have a do-over of the other night?"

“No.”

“Well obviously I want to be mature enough to stay . . .create a different ending.”

“Are you sure you want to do this tonight?”

“I think we have to.” I settle next to her. “Now, I know what you did, and I don’t agree with any of it, but it’s not up to me to forgive you. I wasn’t involved in that. Like I said the other night, love can be powerful, overcome things you wouldn’t imagine. If you had her in front of you, what would happen?”

I sigh. This is hard to explain. “Promise me you’ll listen to all I have to say?”

“I promise.”

“I love her. I’ll never stop. She taught me so much about myself, but we weren’t good for each other. She isn’t without faults, but she did nothing to deserve what I did. I’ll carry the guilt even if she forgives me. I won’t forgive myself. That could spur me to welcome her into my life in a way I don’t want . . . I can’t be sure. I’m not saying that to hurt you, but I don’t know if I could risk her again. She hurt herself because of me.”

“No, she did it because of her.”

I can’t believe that. “I don’t see it that way. I pushed, I disrupted her life constantly, and it was because I wanted absolution. I think we both had admitted to ourselves we weren’t right for each other, love or not. We just hadn’t admitted it out loud or to each other. It was the same way we handled things when we first started dating. Neither of us would admit it was a relationship and it took her forever to tell me she loved me; even though I felt it every day. That’s what she was trying to do the night of the wedding, and I turned on her, used my pain against her, and she crumbled. That’s hard to admit because she is one of the strongest people I know.”

“Okay, but do you still want to be with her?”

“No. I want to be in her life but not with her. I hate admitting that because it makes me doubt myself more, wonder if I ever loved her.”

“You did. Sometimes love has an expiration date. It ends to make room for new love. Some people love many people over a lifetime, and it doesn’t diminish their previous relationships, it just shows what a big heart that person has. I’m not saying we’re forever, but maybe Bianca made you better for me. She brought out your weakness, and it makes you stronger, you learned what it was to feel love, to give love, but that was her gift to you.”

“What did I do for her?”

“Loved her. From what you said, she fought it, couldn’t fathom love, but in the end you showed her it was okay.”

“But I didn’t. I reiterated all her fears in the end.”

“Maybe, but if she’s as strong as you say, she’ll come to her own conclusions. Sometimes relationships can be the stepping-stones to your cornerstone of life. It isn’t the first love that’s the strongest . . . it’s the last love.”

“I hope so.”

“Have a little faith.”

“I’m trying. How do you feel about all this?”

“Scared. But I’m having faith in you, in us, that what we are building will be strong enough to withstand temptation. That if she barged in here at this moment, you would be strong for her and for us.”

“I want to be that man.”

“I think you are. You just have to believe it.”

My phone rings and pulls me back to the present. “Hey, man.”

“You ready to get your ass back here?”

“I’m not sure I’m coming back.”

“What the fuck, Dakota?”

“Bronson, I don’t know. I can’t ask Lisa to come back with me to the unknown. And I don’t want to be without her.”

“So you’d stay there? Away from us? You haven’t seen Angelo in a year.”

“I know. I’m confused.”

“If she loves you, it won’t matter to her where y’all live. If you love her, you’ll ease her mind.”

“So when I return I’ll get a welcome reception from everyone?”

“I’m not psychic, but I know she is with Heath. Has been for months.” That shouldn’t bother me, but it does. He got to her when I wasn’t able to.

“Is she happy?”

“Is that your concern anymore?”

“I want to be her friend.”

“I don’t know where she is with that. I try and stay out of her business unless she needs me.”

“She tore you a new asshole when you interfered?”

“Yes, and Callie cut me off. Fuck, my sister is pure genius.”

I laugh, remembering the good times. “She is. That she is. You should learn by now not to cross her.”

“See what you’re missing. If you’ve both moved on, we should all be able to live in the same town.”

“She’s living there?”

“Yeah, Heath is opening a business.”

“What happened to the one he had?”

“If you repeat this, I’ll kill you. He got mixed up with the Costa family, did some minor money laundering. He walked away from it all and gave them his business.”

“And she’s with him? What are you thinking, Bronson?”

“It was a mistake, and if you would pull your head out of your ass you’d realize that isn’t his style. Grief can do funny things to people.”

I need to shut this conversation down. My anger is rising, and I don’t know why. I do know that I’ll be moving back to Miami. “Alright, let me talk to Lisa, and I’ll let you know the plans. Hopefully in the next month we’ll be back.”

“Sounds good. I miss my old partner.”

I pace the living room until Lisa comes through the door. “Will you move back to Miami with me?”

“Whoa. Slow down.”

“The case I was here for is wrapping up. I want to go home.”

“And you want me there?”

“Yes.”

“You’re sure?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

“What spurred this?”

“Bronson called.”

“Bianca?”

“Well the guy she was dating is back in her life. Sometime in the interim he got mixed up with a Mob family.”

“Is he still?”

“No,” I sigh. “He really is a good guy, but I need to make sure she’s safe.”

“So is this about moving home and starting our life, or is it about protecting her?”

“Both,” I’m embarrassed to admit. “I want you by my side. I’m committed to you, but . . .”

“She is important to you. I’m okay with that. Thanks for being honest.”

“So?”

“We’ll try it. If I don’t like it, promise me we can move somewhere else. It doesn’t have to be there or here.”

“As long as we’re together,” I finish her thought. She smiles and walks to me so I can welcome her home the correct way.

Chapter Twenty
-
Three

Bianca

“Good afternoon, Bianca.”

“Oh Doc, so formal. Good afternoon, Dr. Adams.”

“Still the same. I would hope love would have calmed you.”

“No you don’t. Isn’t lying unethical?”

“What brings you in today?”

“I missed you.”

“Your appointment last week screamed something different. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me how you feel.”

“He’s coming home today. I’m supposed to go to some big welcome home dinner at Bronson and Callie’s new house, and I want to vomit all over this boring beige carpet. You should really consider hardwood floors for instances like this.”

“Deep breaths, Bianca. I assume you mean Dakota is coming home today?”

“And to think it’s said that assume means ass out of you and me. But in your case you assumed correct.”

“Not helping yourself. You’re suppressing what you’re feeling.”

“Can I suppress it to never exist?”

“You know the answer to that. Are you nervous about seeing him or just confronting the past?”

“I haven’t confronted the past. I said goodbye to him a year ago, and he refused to accept it. I spiraled that night to somewhere I never want to go back to. I don’t know what I feel. And if I feel anything, does that mean I’m not over him?”

“Are you?”

“I love Heath.”

“I know you do. But will you ever be over Dakota? As long as you let him have a hold on you, manipulate your feelings . . . you’ll be controlled by doubts.”