Beloved Monster (20 page)

The few men standing at the carts must have heard the screams as they were all looking his way. The nurse was in high panic now. “A beast has Master Jeffrey! Help!”

The young man stood before him, a look of disgust on his face. The men from the carts were running in their direction. Luke had to make his escape before a mob formed. “Give me the boy.” The young man held out his arms. “Give him to me and nothing will happen to you.”

Right.
Deep inside, Luke knew any hope of being accepted by others just broke into jagged shards. “Jeffrey, let go, it will be all right,” Luke whispered. He loathed losing the comforting heat of the child, but the situation was growing increasingly dangerous. Instead of handing Jeffrey over, he lowered him to the ground and stepped back, holding up his hands. “No harm done. Allow me to leave….”

“Jesus. ’Tis Ravenswood!” one of the cart men yelled. “’E’s back from the dead, ’e is. Look at ’im. Bleedin’ ’orrible.” The nurse screamed again, loud enough to pierce an eardrum and shrill enough to shatter glass. A mob was definitely forming. Angry men intent on doing harm. Meting out justice where they saw fit. And they all focused on him.

Ravenswood?
Were they talking about him? Surely not. Thanks to the screeching and the gathering crowd, Jeffrey tried to clutch Luke’s leg as Luke stepped back. Jeffrey tripped and fell, causing a gasp to rise from the onlookers.

“He’s hurt the boy, grab the monster. Get him!” someone yelled. Others cried out in agreement as they moved toward him.

Time to leave.
With one quick glance to the ground, Jeffrey gave him a wobbly smile, showing he was unhurt. Luke turned on his heels and ran. Thank God his leg was completely mended. Excited shouts and clamor rose in the crisp autumn air. The words “viscount, dead, buried, creature, beast,” and all manner of threats and curses filled his hearing. He cut through the graveyard, and glancing over his shoulder he could plainly see he outran the men by a large margin.

It appeared along with increased strength he also possessed blinding speed. Luke sprinted past a fresh grave and halted briefly. No stone and the ground had been disturbed. A feeling of foreboding curled about his spine. Ravenswood they called him. A viscount. The words “my lord” from his dream entered his mind. God, was it an actual memory he recalled? Apparently so. What in the
hell
? Before he could reflect on the shocking idea, Luke dashed into the woods, heading toward the Parker residence.

It was then he saw Glenna running toward him, holding up her skirt and petticoats past her calves. “Where did you go? What were you thinking?” she cried.

He clasped her elbow. “We have no time to discuss it; there are men hard on my heels bent on doing me harm. Quick, we must escape.”

“I know somewhere we can hide. Come with me.” She led him back into the thick woods, only in a different direction. He followed her, but Glenna moved at too slow a pace. The men’s voices grew louder--they were gaining on them. Luke scooped her up in his arms and took off at a punishing speed. “Through there.” She pointed. He followed her breathless instructions until he stepped into a clearing. A ramshackle hut leaned against a hill of rock. “In there.”

Luke set her down and opened the door, grabbing her hand and pulling her across the threshold. As soon as he closed the door, he inspected the surroundings. The place had not been occupied in some time. In the corner stood a rickety chair, a broken table, and not much else. Broken beams above showed where a small part of the thatched roof had caved in. The decayed carcass of a small animal lay in the hearth in a nest of dried leaves. Before he could inspect the small hovel further, a slight buzzing filled his hearing, increasing in volume until it drowned out every other sound and thought.
What the hell is happening?
The room began to spin, a white hot bolt of pain tore through his head. He cried out, and Glenna ran to his side, but he shook her off.

A frenetic rush of images flickered through his mind, as if his former life were being revealed at a Magic Lantern show, the glass slides revealed against a white wall. He’d been in this hut before--and with Glenna. The stark truth hit him hard.
Ravenswood. Viscount. Dead.
It
was
him, and every horrible, debauched memory flooded his brain, including the orgy from his dream. No wonder he knew how to waltz with such expertise, he remembered attending numerous formal balls. He relived it all, from his spoiled childhood to his dissolute youth to his carriage accident. The last thing he remembered? Careening off a steep cliff with horses and carriage in tow. Then blackness. Nothingness. Death.

Grabbing his head, he bit his lip to stem the groans as the pain grew in intensity. No wonder the cousins had hidden him away. He was known, and infamously. The throbbing dissipated somewhat after several minutes. The high-pitched buzzing lessened enough he could hear Glenna frantically calling his name. Anger, raw and compelling, replaced the images. Except one. Luke recalled Glenna’s words the first night he brought her a mug of tea. “My first kiss came from a dissolute, unfeeling rake that broke my heart.”
An unfeeling rake.
It had been him all along. She knew who he was the entire time and never told him. Never even gave him a slight hint. He snatched Glenna by the arm and spun her around before backing her against the wall. Her eyes widened in shock at the sudden movement. Damn this woman. Damn his miserable life. Damn everything.

“Remember? I am sure you must, since you told me a little of the encounter,” he snapped. “You met me here more than two years past. I pushed you against the wall, just like this.” Luke pressed his aching erection against her. Yes, devil take it, he was aroused. All the erotic images flooding his brain had an effect on him. But it was not only the images from the past that stoked his desire. Long ago with her in this miserable lean-to, he’d been aroused beyond all his past experiences. Glenna had affected him deeply, and when she declined his amorous advances, he took the opportunity to push her away. For the last thing he wanted was any woman to affect him or stir his deeper emotions to life. Possess his heart. Not that he was convinced at the time he had one. Yes, as Ravenswood, he thought of her more than once shortly after the incident in the hut, but dismissed his reaction to kissing her as a moment of weakness. One he was determined not to repeat. So he’d pushed her from his mind for good.

If he had been a different man as Ravenswood,--a better man--the attraction he had felt for Glenna two years ago could have grown into much more. For that one kiss shook his foundation. If he had allowed it, he could have fallen in love with her. The irony of all this is he did anyway. Destiny? Fate? Who knew? Luke did not know much of anything at this point, except despite the memories and the anger, he loved her now. In spite of everything.

Luke pulled her into a kiss, one both angry and ardent.
Damn her. Damn everything and everyone.
Stepping back and breaking the kiss, he clasped her wrist and pressed her hand against his aching prick. She gasped. “I had brought you here to fuck you. I remember it all now. I am your dissolute, unfeeling rake. My plan? To take you against this wall, take what I wanted, and take what you would freely give me, just like every other foolish woman I brought here. Why else did you come here? You wanted this. My cock inside you. Nothing else. That is all I wanted from you. To rut you, forget you, and move on to the next conquest.” He squeezed their hands, grabbing more of his erection, but then stopped. The look of devastation on her face made him pause.

“I am sorry,” Glenna whispered. “We should have told you of your true identity, but Reed thought… He wanted to see if you remembered on your own. He thought the shock would be too great. I lied. We both lied. I am very sorry, my lord.” She gulped deeply, her chin quivering.

Lord? Good God.
He turned away, disgusted by his behavior and crude words, and appalled by the scandalous memories flooding his mind. Hell, for a brief moment, he became Ravenswood again, and he did not like it. Not at all. Luke realized that as Ravenswood, he had been a miserable excuse of a human being, a selfish, amoral bastard who deserved his fate.

Anger, quickly flared, vanished as fast as it sparked. If he
had
been told the truth, what would he have done with the information? Reclaim his former life? If today was any proof, the way he was being hunted, it would not have worked. Regardless of the recollections now crowding his bewildered brain and despite his behavior a few moments ago, he wasn’t Ravenswood any longer. If he had anything to say about it, he would never be Ravenswood again.
Voices.
The men were coming this way.

“Here. Quickly now.” Grabbing Glenna by the elbow, he pulled her to the opposite side of the room. Dropping to his knees, he dug around the dirt and wood floor and found it. He lifted the boards and pushed her into the hole, following right behind her. Luke no sooner moved the wood planks back in place when the door to the hut burst open and a crowd of men entered.

“You’re barmy. Can’t be Ravenswood, my brother be one of those that buried ’im.”

Another man made a noise of disagreement followed by spitting. “Aye, but did ’e check the coffin? ’Tis ’im, I tell you. I did some work on the earl’s estate. I’ve seen ’is nibs struttin’ around the place more than once like he were cock of the walk. Come back for more whorin’, I’ll be bound. Must be some ’ere about ’e ’asn’t fooked.”

A couple of other men laughed cruelly. “I ’eard ’e used up all the women and be startin’ on the men.” Heavy boots clomped across the boards, causing loose dirt to fall on them from in between the slats. “Don’t be showin’ yer arse to the creature. Cor, he be ugly.”

“Did ye see ’im?” Another man spat. “Dead man walkin’. As gray and lifeless as a bleedin’ corpse. Will ’e kill us in our sleep? We’ve got to ’unt the beast down and destroy it for good and all.”

The other men all murmured their agreement. “Not so pretty now, is he?” another called out.

More salacious laughter. “No one ’ere. Let’s check them woods again.” The door slammed shut.

Luke closed his eyes. It cut him in two to hear his past cackled over, yet their words held a somber truth. He supposed the fact he was ashamed and horrified by those memories proved he did have a soul. Truly, he wondered if he ever possessed one as Ravenswood. One thing for certain: He was not that man anymore. Not even close. Ravenswood could stay dead and buried. In a matter of mere minutes, he decided to leave his previous life behind. He did not want any part of it or the man who lived it. Right here, right now, he would take these memories of his debauched former self and bury them deep and never look back. After hearing the conversation between the men, it was apparent he’d never be accepted here.

Glenna clasped his hand and whispered, “I am sorry you had to hear that. They know nothing. Do not take it to heart.” He grunted in response. How could he not take it to heart? “How did you know about this cache, my lord?”

“Do not call me that. I am not Ravenswood,” he whispered fiercely in reply.

“No, you are not.” She gently squeezed his hand. “And I am so glad…Luke.”

He sighed at hearing his name. Yes
. Luke.
Not Viscount Ravenswood. “My friends and I used to buy smuggled brandy, and we hid the casks here in between my visits from university.” Luke strained to listen. “They are still about. We’d best stay in the cache for a while. Can you bear it?”

“Yes.”

Brave girl. They remained silent for several minutes while Luke tried to organize his confused thoughts. Not only was it patently obvious he could not stay in Charlwood, but he also could not go to London. Thinking and reflecting on it further, he definitely did not
want
to live the life of Viscount Ravenswood, heir to the Earl of Whitestone. A thought struck him.
Christ. His parents. His younger sister.
How would they react when they heard he was walking about? His last conversation with his father several months back had been heated and adversarial. The earl threatened to cut off his hefty allowance if he did not cease his carnal adventures. He’d laughed in his father’s face, left his mother in tears, and stalked off to London to stay with the Duke of Limington and participate in one orgy after another, culminating in the so-called carriage race that cost him his life. Like it or not, before he left this area for good, he had to face his father one last time. Close the door on Ravenswood once and for all. Nail it shut. He didn’t want the remembrances. All he wanted was Glenna. She loved him despite the way he looked. In spite of her terrible past with Ravenswood. He had cast her aside. Proof Ravenswood was a bloody imbecile. Good riddance.

Glenna stated he had a new chance to start over. Perhaps he should look at this mad, horrific nightmare as an opportunity to live a quiet life with the woman he loved. Could he? Despite her deceit, she did have the best intentions. Of that he was sure. Why hold a grudge toward her and Reed? If anyone understood the fact life was not only short, but extremely precarious, he did. Ravenswood would have been furious, would exact revenge, and cut Reed and Glenna from his life. Not him. Not ever. He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it. Despite the lies and the situation, he did love her--with every bit of his new soul.

“Do you forgive me?” she asked tremulously.

How could he not? He remembered reading in a book an ancient Chinese philosophy that stated “there is no love without forgiveness and no forgiveness without love.” At that time in his life, he found the words amusing and dismissed them as sentimental claptrap. No longer. If Glenna could forgive his abhorrent behavior two years past, especially bringing her to this hut with the express purpose to seduce her, he could certainly forgive lies meant to protect him. Despite the prevarications, he understood the cousins did so to protect all of them, but him most of all. He’d come to know them well enough to come to that conclusion. The fact he recalled every wretched detail of his past life made him love Glenna more, not less. Through word and action, Ravenswood never deserved the love of a good woman. He would make sure Glenna never regretted loving the man he was now.