Beloved Monster (21 page)

“Yes, I forgive you.”

A sob caught in her throat and he kissed her hand again. Slowly, he pushed up on the boards and moved them aside. Once he climbed out, he assisted Glenna, and as soon as she stood upright, he pulled her into a brief embrace. She threw her arms around his neck and he let her warmth seep through him. How she soothed and calmed him.

“We had best stay here until the sun starts to set. I doubt they will return.” After placing the wood slats back in place, he pulled the rickety chair over for Glenna to sit in.

“Why did you venture outside, anyway?” she asked.

“I wanted to see how others would react to my appearance. I wanted to know if I could fit into society, I suppose. To see if Reed’s scientific and medical explanation would work. A mad plan, but I had no idea I was known--and so disreputably. I do not like the memories. I do not want them.” Luke paused, then shook his head in disbelief. “I remember everything. It seems I came out of my mother’s womb a selfish and arrogant creature. I was a loathsome boy, argumentative and defiant at every turn. My parents were no doubt glad to ship me off to school at the earliest opportunity.”

“You did not act that way with the vicar. He told me about how he tutored you when you were younger, and how your friendship with him grew the older you became,” Glenna said.

Patrick Dornan. The vicar had been the only steady presence in his life. “Did you find that out when you got these clothes?” He gripped the greatcoat. Annoyance flickered at the surface again as Glenna bit her lower lip.

“Yes. Again, I lied, somewhat. The clothes were from a ‘recently deceased man,’ I just did not say which man.” She gave him a shaky smile, then sobered. “That wasn’t amusing. I am sorry.”

Maybe not, but he felt like laughing. Manically. Instead, he leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. “Never mind, Glenna. Perhaps someday I will look back on all this with some amusement, but all I can think of right now are the regrets, the demons that whispered in my ear, and the sheer arrogance and stubbornness that urged me on to greater vices and sins. I was a miserable excuse for a human being. A pretty but empty vessel.”

“Yes. Past tense a miserable excuse. I think that is part of the reason I went along with Reed and kept your identity from you. I was terrified that when you did remember, you would turn back into Ravenswood and Luke would be lost to me forever.”

He blew out a puff of air. “I wish to hell I never remembered any of it. But since I have, it makes me all the more determined to leave Ravenswood behind--in all ways. And of course, the reaction in the village hammers the point home. When I first arrived at the border of Charlwood, I noticed a young boy sitting by the brook. He asked for assistance with his small boat. Amazingly, he did not act afraid. I even showed him my face. For a brief moment, I thought I could live a normal life. His name…”
Good God. Jeffrey Twington.
His father had told him four years past during one of their many arguments that he’d fathered a bastard son who was later adopted by the village doctor and his wife. Luke had a vague recollection of signing papers years ago, thrust in front of him by his overbearing father and the family solicitor, but did not bother to ask what they were for. They must have been adoption papers. In all the time since, he never gave the lad a single thought nor ever sought him out, not even to observe him from afar. My God, he’d held his son in his arms. Now that he reflected on it, he could see the resemblance. The black, wavy hair. The blue eyes. “Jeffrey. My son. Glenna, he embraced me. I cannot feel much--as in touch. But I do with you--and I did with the boy.”

“You have a deep connection with us. That is why,” she replied, her voice soft.

“Yes, I believe you have the right of it. Reed has touched me many times in examination or to draw blood. I experienced no reaction. No warmth or hardly any sensation at all. I am not sure what I am. But I am convinced I’m beyond human. Yet, I feel emotions more intensely than I ever did as Ravenswood. God, the things I have done and said. I am disgusted by my former self--and deeply ashamed.” He frowned, then started to pace across the floor.

“I am quite relieved you understand and accept you and Ravenswood are two separate entities. I always thought of you as different men, right from the start. You are ten times the man Ravenswood ever was or could hope to be.”

Glenna’s emotional words warmed him. Yes, two separate beings. Deep inside he knew it to be true. He stopped pacing and leaned against the table. “Soon after I left you here in the hut, I did not give you another consideration. All I cared about is where I could find another woman to sate my lust. My reason for living: fornicating.” He snorted in derision. “I had a dream some nights past. All about an orgy. I know now it was a fragment of memory after all. The day of the accident, I was still reeling from the previous night’s debauchery. Liquor, opiates, and the orgy I mentioned. I did not particularly want the courtesans, but I did not want my opponent to have them, either. All I wanted was to win the damned race. Arrogance on a cosmic scale. And men? I’ve heard the rumors. Hell, we heard of some of the salacious tales in this very hut moments ago. I dallied within the confines of orgies, but touching and kissing, nothing more.”

Glenna clasped his arm and squeezed comfortingly. “You do not have to tell me anymore. Put these thoughts from your mind. Let us bury Viscount Ravenswood once and for all. You are Luke Madden.”

* * * *

Glenna could see the pain of his recollections etched on his face and reflected in his multi-colored eyes. She would do anything to spare Luke heartache, but the die was cast. How bizarre that the hut and the memory of their brief assignation would bring the wall in his mind crashing down. And he’d encountered his son. Fate could be strange indeed. When she’d emerged from the kitchen and found that Luke had disappeared, she could not even begin to describe the panic. Even now Reed must be worried. But he was intelligent enough to realize they would be in hiding. Luke was correct. Wait until the sun set. It would take several hours. But first, she must lay his mind at rest regarding his son. Glenna made a vow then and there she would never lie to him again, even if it was to spare him heartache.

“Allow me to tell you about your son. Jeffrey has a safe and happy home with Samuel and Susan Twington. I am friends with them both and have observed how your son thrives in a household full of love and kindhearted concern. When he is older and able to understand, he will be told you were his father. Susan has already stated she would.” Luke buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking. Her heart twisted in her chest at his reaction, compassion flooded her soul. Luke was no longer Ravenswood, his tearful reaction all the proof she required. She reached and took his hand, and he squeezed it in return. “There is a baby girl as well, Luke, born to a farmer’s daughter about two months ago. Name of Fenton. She claims it is yours. No more secrets between us. No more lies.”

Luke wiped his face with his coat sleeve, the gesture much like a little boy. “My God. A baby girl. Thank you for telling me. I acted recklessly. I didn’t care about the ramifications or who I hurt. In truth, I
was
a monster.”

She stood and cradled his cheeks with her hands. “Yes.
Was.
Not anymore. Regardless, you are
my
beloved monster.”

Luke embraced her tight, nuzzling her neck affectionately. “When the sun begins to set, we will fetch Reed and head to Patrick Dornan’s.”

Glenna pulled back and stared at him in puzzlement. “To the vicar’s? Why?”

“So we can be married.”

Married? Glenna could not believe her ears. The look of incredulousness must have shown clearly on her face, for he frowned.

“I did not ask properly, did I? Merely assumed you would agree. Apparently there are parts of my former arrogant self still lingering about. Let me speak plain. I meant what I said last evening. I do love you. My life going forward will be a quiet one. No more parties, gambling, whoring, or carriage races. There will be little money, as I am not sure what occupation I could unearth for a man such as me.” He paused, letting her mull over his words. “But I am willing to try, and I want you with me, Glenna, to share it all. Never will a woman be as cherished. I will love you, devote my entire attention and life such as it is, as well as every beat of my heart to ensure your happiness.” Cupping her cheeks, he leaned in and kissed her deeply, his tongue plunging deep. He trailed his lips across her cheek, bit on her earlobe, and whispered hotly in her ear. “And ensure you have never-ending pleasure. My past may be sordid, but I learned much, and I want to share it all with you and only you.” Nuzzling her neck again, he continued. “My passion is an entity unto itself. It too is beyond human. Even now, I long to be inside you. Know this: I shall be making love to you often. Every day and night and more besides. There will not be a moment of the day you will not feel as if I am still inside you.”

Heat bloomed in the most feminine part of her. Inasmuch as the prospect of being alone with Luke in a remote, private area held a good deal of appeal, her thoughts drifted back to what he had said. He was
beyond human.
She’d seen the proof: His quick healing abilities and increased strength. Running through the woods at a fast pace no mere mortal could match. The fact he could play the piano when he couldn’t before. Now he promised never-ending desire, but more importantly, love. She would be giving up the life she had built for herself here. Luke stared at her, worry plain on his face. Glenna stroked his cheek, the cool skin stimulating under her trembling fingers. Looking into his beautiful, kaleidoscope eyes, she made her decision. “I love you, Luke. I would go anywhere with you. To the ends of the earth.”

He groaned and pulled her into a tight embrace. “You do me a great honor. There is one thing.” He paused. “There is a chance I may not be able to father children. Reed never had a chance to run any tests. Can you accept it?”

A tiny part of her experienced a twinge of disappointment, but she never longed for children, anyway. “I can. We will take life as it finds us. If we have children, all well and good, if not, we find our joy in other ways.”

“A sound plan.” Luke kissed her cheek and stepped back. “Such a wise, wonderful woman.”

“I was thinking, in your past, did you ever play the piano?”

“No. I was inept.” He chuckled. “The lessons were a complete waste of time. Good God.” His eyes widened. “But now I can play…and well.”

“More evidence to prove you are not Ravenswood. Reed was correct about the metal plate on the side of your head acting as a conduit. It not only repaired your brain function, but stimulated your creative side. I have a feeling there is much to learn about what you can and cannot do, Luke.”

He paced about the hut again, deep in thought. “Yes. It would seem so. As for where we shall go, would Cornwall suit? Some areas are isolated enough to ensure privacy, and it is close enough that Reed or Patrick could visit. A few hours by train at most.” He stopped and smiled at her. “Remember your dream of living by the sea? To hear the sound of the waves battering against the rocks? To hear gulls squawking overhead and smell the salt air and feel the cool mist against your cheek? Of living in a house high on a cliff overlooking a rugged coastline? Allow me to give you what you most desire. Allow me to love you as you deserve to be loved.”

“You said I would live with a man who will adore me with every fiber of his being and love me with everything he holds in his heart,” she whispered.

“You remembered. And I will, I vow it.”

“I remembered every word, Luke.” Glenna gave him a brilliant smile. How she loved him. “Yes. I would love to go with you to Cornwall.”

* * * *

They stayed hidden for a few more hours, and as soon as the sun touched the horizon, they made their way to the Parker residence to fetch Reed. They entered the servants’ entrance and hurried toward the cellar, for where else would Reed be?

“Have you both taken leave of your senses? Where have you been?” Reed boomed. He stood in the hallway with arms crossed, not far from the cellar door.

“Reed, the servants will hear you,” Glenna admonished.

“Bugger the servants. I dismissed them for the rest of the week with pay. They are off doing God knows what.” His frown deepened. “I waited all afternoon, arguing with myself if I should go out and look for you both. But then a group of men stopped by, telling me the horrid tale of a lurching creature terrorizing the village and harming a small child. Please do not tell me that was you.”

Luke shrugged. “Very well, I won’t. Let’s say it was Viscount Ravenswood.”

Reed started. The shock on his face was plain to see. “So you know the truth.”

The temptation to throttle this man within an inch of his life nearly overcame Luke. But there was no time for arguments and recriminations. Besides, he’d already decided to forgive Reed at the hut, though annoyance still lingered and probably always would in one form or another. “I thought to take a walk through the village, to see if your explanations for my appearance would work. As you heard, they did not. I did not even get a chance to explain.”

“Well, I am sorry to hear it, but not entirely surprised. When did the memories return?” Reed asked.

“The memories came flooding back when we found a place to hide. Doesn’t matter how or why, let us agree I can begin to understand why you did not tell me of my former life. Does it make me any less angry? Not much to be truthful. But I am willing to forgive you, even if I cannot forget all that has happened. For now, at any rate.”

Reed raised an eyebrow. “And Glenna? Is she to be forgiven as well?”

“I should hope so; we are going to be married. Thanks to the incident of today, we should depart immediately afterward. Here is your opportunity to warn me away from your cousin. Again.”

“I… I apologized for that,” Reed sputtered, clearly flustered.

Glenna gaped at her cousin. “Reed, you warned Luke? How could you?”