Read Beside Still Waters Online
Authors: Tracey V. Bateman
“Don’t you worry,” Mrs. O’Neill broke in. “You’re going to be a wonderful mother. I’ve seen it before. The woman isn’t sure until that baby makes his entrance into the world.
Then all that matters is that sweet little face.”
Eva looked into the woman’s smiling eyes and knew she had to come completely clean. “My baby was conceived in rape, Mrs. O’Neill. I wasn’t a prostitute. I was a proper girl from a good family. I went riding alone one night when I shouldn’t have. I almost died, but Jonesy rescued me.”
“A hero,” Shawna said breathlessly.
“Oh, Shawna, please.”
“But why were you dressed in such a manner when my husband discovered you?”
Tears flooded Eva’s eyes. “I had gone to that section of town to find someone who could help me get rid of the baby.”
Shawna gasped. “Eva, that’s dangerous. I’ve seen many women almost die from that.”
“What happened that you didn’t go through with it?” Mrs. O’Neill gently prodded.
“The woman must have slipped something into my tea, because I started feeling strange. I remember telling them I couldn’t take the baby’s life and risk shedding innocent blood. They asked me about my family. That’s the last thing I remember.”
“Who is your family, Eva? Is there some reason those people would dump you in the street dressed like a saloon girl? They must have been scared. Otherwise they’d have just killed you.”
“My cousin Aimee is married to Rex Donnelly, an attorney.”
Shawna shifted on her bed. “He’s a famous one, too. Be glad of it. From what I hear, Bea is a rough character. She forces girls to work for her and only lets them go if they’re about ready to die or if someone offers the right price.”
Eva thought of Sally from Mike’s place. If only she could bring her to the O’Neills.
Eva’s memory of the conversation between Bea and Sally made sense now. Sally had stayed that morning to make sure Bea didn’t try to keep Eva there against her wishes.
“Eva, why did you try to take your baby’s life?”
Eva looked at her through eyes blurred from tears. “I don’t want to raise a baby who I might resent. Now I have no choice.”
“There is always a choice, honey.”
It took a moment for Mrs. O’Neill’s words to make sense.
“Oh no. I couldn’t take him to an orphanage. My aunt and uncle run one. They do their best to take care of all the children they take in. But it never seems as though they can do enough. A baby needs to be held much more than an orphanage can provide with such limited staff.”
“What about finding a married couple who might take the baby in and raise him as their own?”
Eva jerked her head up to look at Mrs. O’Neill. “I hadn’t thought about that. Do you think …” She drew a deep breath. “Do you think it’s all right if I do that?”
“Giving your baby to a loving family rather than trying to love someone who reminds you of the agony you endured?” Mrs. O’Neill looked at Eva through eyes filled with compassion. “I think perhaps the Lord brought you here for more than one reason.”
“What do you mean?”
“To help heal your pain from the ordeal you’ve been through, of course. But perhaps also for Lissa and Amos Matthews.”
“Who?”
“They’ve been married for close to ten years, but God hasn’t blessed them with any children of their own. They live a little far away, so they don’t normally attend Sunday services until after the spring thaw.”
A sense of relief filled Eva. It seemed God had provided a way for her to give birth to the baby and yet be free of the constant reminders she would have if she raised the child. In a few months, she could go home and resume her life.
Dear Pa and Ma
,
Every day brings us a little closer to all-out spring. It’s hard to believe April has already arrived. The snow is melting, and yesterday I saw a bud on a rosebush. It won’t be long now. You know how much I love roses
.
I have come to a decision of which I’ve been trying to inform you for a few months now, but the words just never seemed sufficient. Perhaps they still aren’t, but I feel I must go ahead, even at the risk that it will sound callous
.
I’ve decided to give the baby to a childless couple. I believe God brought me here so I could give them the child growing inside me. I know I can’t love it the way a child needs to be loved
.
I hope you can forgive me for giving the baby away. I do feel that I am making the right decision, and I beg you to understand
.
Eva
P.S. Tell Jonesy I saw a flock of geese returning today. I took some stale bread and gave them a welcome-home party
.
Jonesy smiled at the memory of Eva telling him she used to send the geese off for the winter with full stomachs. Oh, how he missed their rides together, their talks.
Each time the Rileys received a letter from Eva, they sent for him and allowed him to sit and listen while Hope read. A new letter had arrived at least once a month, and each carried a P.S. for him.
Despite his joy that she’d sent him another personal message, he felt heartsick that she would give away her child. If only she knew that he was willing to marry her and take her away. Be a pa to the baby. Frustration clamped tightly around his middle. How could he prove his love for her if she wouldn’t tell anyone where to find her?
He’d missed the April first deadline he’d given himself to go back to Texas. Here it was, the middle of May. It always took a couple of weeks for one of Eva’s letters to reach them in Hobbs. If she came back late in the summer, they would still have time to leave. Otherwise they would have to wait through one more winter. It would be too risky to leave in the fall, especially with a baby—and that was if he could find Eva before she went through with her plan to give the child away.
Jonesy had been so deep in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Mrs. Riley lean against Mr. Riley’s shoulder. Tears flowed down her cheeks.
“Mrs. Riley,” Jonesy said with conviction, “I’m going to Oregon City. I have to find Eva and convince her not to give the baby away. I still want to marry her. I’ll raise that child as my own.”
Mr. Riley regarded Jonesy evenly. “But she’s asked us not to try to find her. She seems to be doing well, and I want to give her time to sort all this out. I think you should, too.”
Hope reached across the table and patted Jonesy’s hand. “I believe Eva’s made a wise choice in turning the baby over to parents who will love him fully.”
“But I’d love the baby just as much. There’s no need for Eva to do this.”
The Rileys remained silent.
He said his good-byes in short order, then rode to his parents’ house to relay the contents of the letter to his ma. “I need to find her,” he said. “But Mr. Riley believes I have no business trying to.”
“He’s right,” Ma said softly. “Give it some more time, son. She’ll come home when she’s ready.”
“But it’ll be too late by then. She’ll have already given the baby away.”
“Why are you so set on raising this child? Are you afraid that if Eva doesn’t keep the baby, she won’t need you to marry her and sweep her away to Texas?”
Jonesy cringed at his mother’s words. “Of course not.”
At least that’s what his mind screamed. But as he went about doing his chores, somewhere deep down inside, he knew she was right.
Charity suffereth long and is kind. It seeketh not her own
.
He wanted Eva to need him. So much so that he resented her desire to share the baby with a barren couple. “Oh, God. Forgive me.”
Peace swept over Jonesy. But the urgency to find Eva seemed to intensify in that moment. He knew that as surely as the earth needs water, Eva needed him. He also knew that God was telling him to go find her.
Pete sat at the bar next to Randy and slugged down another whisky. After being cooped up in this town all winter and spring, he was plenty restless. He made a grab for the nearest woman, a plump but pretty saloon girl.
She gave him a slow smile with luscious, stained lips. “What can I get for you, Cowboy?”
A flash of gold around her neck arrested his attention. He frowned. It looked familiar. He made a grab at it and snatched it in his fingers before she could stop him.
“Hey, mister, that’s mine. And Mike don’t take kindly to us gettin’ manhandled. Ain’t that right, Mike?”
“Leave her locket alone, mister.”
“I want to know where she stole this from. I know the owner.”
The prostitute sneered. “I didn’t steal it. Eva gave this to me.”
“It was a gift from her pa,” he growled. “She wouldn’t have given it away.”
“Okay, fine. Keep it.”
“I don’t want the locket. I want the girl. Where is she?”
“Why should I tell you?”
“Let’s just go,” Randy said quietly. “You don’t want to start that trouble again.”
Pete moved slowly away. Randy was right, for now. He had ways of getting information out of women. This cow would tell him where to find Eva, or she’d be dead by morning.
Lady Anne carried Jonesy into Oregon City just as dawn was beginning to break. He’d left directly after supper, under protest from his parents, and had ridden all night. Before he left, he’d stopped by the Rileys to let them know he was going. He’d felt it was the right thing to do. After all, Eva was their daughter and they had requested that he not go. But something in Andy’s eyes shone his approval when they’d shaken hands. “I’d be doin’ the same thing if it were my Hope.”
Those words of assurance had been all the confirmation Jonesy needed that going to Oregon City was the right decision.
Mrs. Riley handed him an envelope. “Go to our niece Aimee’s house. The address is on the back of that letter. Rex can tell you where to find Eva.”
Jonesy stared at the envelope, trying to wrap his mind around the truth of Hope Riley’s words. “You’ve known all along where she is?”
She nodded. “Rex’s private investigators found her before Eva’s first letter arrived.”
“And you never brought her home?” Jonesy said, a bit too harshly.
Mr. Riley had placed a protective arm about her shoulders. “We knew she was safe. And she needed some time away.”
“Then why are you telling me now?”
“If you’re determined to find her, there’s no sense in sending you on a wild-goose chase. What happens between the two of you is something you’ll have to sort through. It’s not our place to deliberately keep you from her.”
Jonesy followed the directions on the back of the letter and by morning had found the place. A servant answered his knock.
“Is this the home of Rex and Aimee Donnelly?”
The stiff male servant nodded. “Who may I say is calling?”
“Ben Jones. I’m a friend of Aimee’s aunt Hope and uncle Andy. I have a letter for Aimee from Eva’s parents.”
He took the envelope and stepped away from the doorway. “Come inside, please.” He led the way to an elegantly furnished sitting room and waved Jonesy inside. “Wait here, please. I will inform Mr. and Mrs. Donnelly of your presence.”
“Thank you.”
In moments, they appeared. The man shook his hand, and the lovely woman with blond curls and blue eyes offered her hand, as well.
“Thank you both for seeing me.”
“I read Aunt Hope’s letter. Eva is very blessed to have a man who loves her so much.”
“I’m the one who feels blessed to know her. I need to find her.” He looked from one to the other. “Can you please lead me in the right direction?”
Rex sat next to Aimee on the settee. “She’s living with a minister and his wife about four hours’ ride north. There is a small community of farmers who gather to worship at Reverend O’Neill’s chapel on Sunday. They seem to make a habit of taking in strays like Eva.”
Jonesy’s ire rose. “Eva’s far from being a stray.”
Rex gave a chuckle. “Believe me, I didn’t mean to insult her. I just meant they seem to take in people who don’t have anywhere else to go. If Eva was looking for solitude and kindness, that’s why she ended up with the O’Neills and why she’s stayed with them for so long.”
Mollified, Jonesy let down his guard. “I’m grateful to them for helping her and keeping her in a safe place, but it’s time to find her.”
Jonesy received instructions on which road to take out of town and how to find the little log cabin and chapel in the woods.
Aimee insisted he join them for breakfast. Jonesy had to admit he felt better and more energized after the meal. His hopes were high as he set out to find Eva.