Beta Test (#gaymers) (25 page)

“And so I couldn’t stand there on stage. I just couldn’t.” Tristan’s hands were shaking so Ravi rubbed them. “So here I am.”

“Here you are. And you’re sure you want to come with me tonight?”

“Absolutely.” Tristan flashed him a winning smile. “I look okay, right?”

Ravi stepped back, pretending to scrutinize Tristan’s appearance. Damn, but his man looked like an old-fashioned Hollywood star. Blond hair perfectly coiffed with a razor-straight part and a black designer tux in a classic cut that fit him like he was headed to a movie premiere.

“Cut that out.” Tristan laughed. “And you look great, by the way.”

“You like?” Ravi gave a turn. His tux was flashier than Tristan’s with a navy jacket with a shimmery pattern and black trim and black pants.

“Yeah, I like. Come on, let’s go.”

* * *

The event was held at a Hollywood theater, and because he had honoree tickets, Ravi was technically allowed to walk the red carpet.

“We can go in the regular entrance with everyone else,” he said to Tristan as he checked the tickets after parking in a nearby garage. “Or we can even go in separately. Whatever you’re most comfortable with.”

“Definitely not going in separately.” Tristan squeezed his hand. “You’ve earned the right to walk the red carpet. You deserve that.”

“You could get your picture in the paper,” Ravi warned. “I mean, there are probably dozens of people more interesting than us but—”

“It’s okay.” Tristan silenced him with a quick kiss. “If my picture gets out, I’ll deal. Trust me, I can’t piss my mother off any more than I did tonight.”

Even so, Tristan’s hand was clammy and more than a little unsteady in Ravi’s as they showed their tickets to the bouncer at the velvet ropes and walked past the media. Marsha was there in a red tux and she pinned an “honoree” ribbon on Ravi’s lapel, and that led to more people asking for pictures, including the lead singer of a band Ravi had heard a few times on the radio. That was cool.

Then they were inside the event and ushered to the table with the other volunteer honorees. People milled all around them, no one sitting quite yet, and the line for the bar stretched far into the room.

“Ravi and...
Tristan
?” Meena’s voice had a decided smile to it as she and Dale made their way over to them. “This is a pleasant surprise.”

“One I’m sure the office will know about Monday,” Tristan said in a whisper to Ravi.

“You need me to tell her to keep quiet?” Ravi wasn’t sure that was even possible anymore—too many people knew what was going on after their fight, and moreover, Ravi didn’t want to hide. He wasn’t quite sure what the future held for him and Tristan, but he knew what he wanted.

“No,” Tristan said in a low voice, then flashed a smile for Meena and Dale.

“You guys made up?” Meena asked in typical direct fashion.

“We’re working on it.” Tristan gave her another smile.

Yes!
Ravi restrained himself from high-fiving his maybe-boyfriend, but couldn’t keep himself from grinning.

“Ravi. Congratulations.” Robert and his wife joined their group. Ravi wasn’t sure what it would take to put up with their workaholic boss, but the wife seemed nice enough, in a glittery dress and full of commendations for his volunteer work.

“And Tristan.” Robert acknowledged Tristan’s presence with an eyebrow raise that said that yes, the gossip had indeed reached the higher-ups’ offices. “Pleasant seeing you here.”

“Yes, sir—”

“It’s Robert, I’ve told you.” Everyone laughed at Robert’s command.

“But if you’ll excuse me, I really need a drink. It’s been...a day. Can I get anyone else anything?”

“Beer. Any pale ale is fine.” Ravi tried to send him an encouraging smile.

“There’s a bar with a shorter line on the other side. I can show you,” Dale said, and he and Tristan headed off.

“You guys worked through your...things?” Robert glanced at Tristan’s retreating form and then back to Ravi. “You’re two of my best employees.”

“Thanks. Make sure he hears that, okay?” Ravi kept his tone light, but he meant it. Tristan needed the praise far more than he did.

After some more small talk, Robert and his wife meandered off to the high-dollar donor table.

“Did you bring a
date
?” A very excited Avani found him and Meena moments later. “I saw you come in, but it took us forever to get over to you.”

“Hello to you too, Avani. This is my coworker, Meena.” He purposefully ignored her question.

“He came.” Meena apparently couldn’t resist sharing the news. “Most romantic thing ever. But I do worry about them working together—”

“Right here,” Ravi reminded them.

“And not sharing your gossip,” Avani rolled her eyes at him. “And ooh, here he comes!”

Tristan had a beer for Ravi and a soda Ravi bet had a shot in it for himself. Ravi accepted his beer and put an arm around Tristan’s shoulders.
Yes
,
this Hollywood hunk is all mine
,
at least for tonight.

He introduced Tristan to his sister and Balan, and then, thankfully, the lights flickered signaling the show was about to start, cutting short whatever interrogation Avani had planned.

“Your sister seems nice,” Tristan said as they finally took their seats. He wiped his forehead with one hand.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to spring a meet-the-family moment on you.”

“Think I passed her muster?” Tristan looked far more nervous than Ravi would have figured.

“Absolutely.” Ravi pressed a kiss on Tristan’s temple. Then his lips dipped lower to Tristan’s ear. “And I can’t wait to get you home. You
are
coming to my place after, right?”

“I’m invited?”

Ravi realized with a start that in their time together, Tristan had never once seen Ravi’s place because of how paranoid Ravi had been about getting found out at work. “Absolutely. Any time you want.”

And oh how Ravi wanted. Everything. He wanted everything with this man.

* * *

Not surprisingly, Tristan was distracted throughout the awards program, by the prospect of what might come afterward, the jumble of emotions of knowing he was missing his mother’s event, and uncertainty about a future with Ravi.

Not that Ravi seemed particularly uncertain. After his question of whether Tristan was okay with Meena figuring they were back to...whatever, Ravi went all in on acting every bit the solicitous boyfriend. Lots of little touches. Lots of dirty whispers in Tristan’s ear. And no doubt they’d be the coffee-time talk all next week at work as a result, but Tristan had a hard time caring about the gossip. Not when Ravi’s hands were so warm and Tristan’s pride so intense.

And it turned out that pride was an awesome aphrodisiac—pride that this man had chosen him and pride in Ravi’s accomplishments. That was his guy up there accepting an award to much applause. His guy who had so many friends and acquaintances congratulating him and sharing stories about how giving he was.
And he picked me.
Little thrills kept racing up Tristan’s spine all night.

Tristan ended up being the one who drove back to Ravi’s apartment because he wasn’t the one who’d had people buying him drinks all night. Not that Ravi was drunk, but he was definitely tipsy, as evidenced from how he flirted and grabbed at Tristan on the walk from the parking lot.

“Stop that,” Tristan said as they walked through the courtyard, Ravi trying to pull him in for a kiss every few feet. “The neighbors—”

“Won’t care.” Ravi used Tristan’s distraction to his advantage, stealing a quick kiss right there by the large pool.

“Maybe I do.” Tristan hurried his steps. At the AIDS benefit, he’d been secure in the knowledge that their PDA was acceptable to everyone there. Here in the open, he felt way less sure and his stomach went all wobbly at the thought of someone objecting.

“Having second thoughts?” Ravi caught up with him by his front door, reaching around Tristan to unlock it.

“About you? Never.” Tristan gave him a quick kiss the second the door closed. “Just...working up to the shock-the-neighbors thing.”

“I
like
shocking the neighbors. And you.” Ravi’s kiss tasted like rum and sweetness and a whole lot of mischief. His apartment opened onto a dining area with an open kitchen and large living area beyond that. Ravi tossed his suit jacket over one of the dining room chairs. Like Ravi, the apartment was an intriguing blend of modern and retro with a healthy dose of gamer geek thrown in—dark woods, framed arcade art posters, and a sectional that looked made for long gaming sessions. Or making out. That was the bigger priority, and Tristan tugged Ravi in that direction.

But Ravi wasn’t cooperative, pulling Tristan in for a kiss against the fireplace wall and then pulling him away from the couch.

“Upstairs,” he said. “I’ve waited too long to get you in my bed.”

Tristan couldn’t help the groan that escaped, because he hadn’t realized how much he’d wanted that until this moment. He’d wanted to be welcomed into this part of Ravi’s life, to see his space, to feel like more than a friendly hookup.

They paused several times on the stairs for more kissing, rattling the art prints on the wall. At the top of the stairs, there was a computer-and-art area with two desks and several overloaded bookshelves and supply organizers.

“Bed?” he asked, looking around.

“This way,” Ravi pulled him through an archway into a smaller space with a large bed.

“Is that a
Space Villager
blanket?” Tristan gestured at the colorful comforter with an interstellar battle taking place over a finely detailed solar system.

“Yeah. I did the concept drawing, so they sent me one.” Ravi drew him in for a long, scorching kiss that said the time for his self-guided tour was over. Their tongues tangled as Tristan breathed in Ravi—rum, his usual spicy aftershave, and the unique blend that was everything he’d been missing for the past week and everything he never wanted to lose again.

“I love this tux on you.” Ravi smoothed his hands over Tristan’s shoulders.

“Thanks.”

“I’m about to ruin it though,” Ravi said without a trace of regret as he pushed the jacket off and let it flutter to the floor.

“Go for it.” Tristan laughed. “I trust my cleaners.”
Trust you too.
But he didn’t tell Ravi that quite yet.

Their hands got grabbier, kisses more frantic as their clothes fell to the floor. And Ravi really wasn’t kidding about not caring what got crumpled or if a button popped off. And somehow that disregard excited Tristan.

“What do you want, babe?” Ravi mouthed his way down Tristan’s neck, wrapping his body around him from the back. They still stood near the bed, but were both bare now, warm skin pressing against warm skin.

“You,” Tristan gasped.

“Always.” Ravi tumbled them onto the bed, sending the comforter and pillows raining to the floor. He started kissing Tristan’s neck more purposefully now, a deliberate downward path.

“Wait.” He took a deep breath. “Not...that. Want you to fuck me.”

The world seemed to tilt a bit as the want that he’d carried around with him for over a month now finally bubbled over, fear chased out by longing and need.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Tristan’s heart pounded like the drum in the rock band at the gala—a deep, pulsing beat that made his whole body tingle with anticipation.

“Yeah?” Ravi raised an eyebrow. “You know you don’t have to, right? I know it’s kind of a big deal for you, and I’m happy to wait. Or not at all, if that’s your preference.”

“I know I don’t have to. I want to.” Tristan struggled for words. “It is a big deal for me, but it’s not that I don’t like it. I love it. It’s just...emotionally complicated. But I’m ready for it with you.”

“I can do emotionally complicated.” Ravi’s voice was rough as he kissed Tristan again. “I know we’re still feeling our way here, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

“Me either.” Tristan pulled Ravi on top of him, letting his warm bulk blanket him and chase the last of his doubts away. When their lips met this time, Tristan willed his mouth to say the words he couldn’t, not yet.

I
might love you.

No sacrifice is too much for you.

I
want a future together.
I
want you to be my family.
I
saw that clearly
,
and I can’t tell you yet
,
but I can kiss you and kiss you and kiss you and hope you feel it too
,
this strange scary big feeling.

And their bodies told stories, entire novels, as they moved together. All the poetry in the world couldn’t compete with the emotion surging through them. He could come like this—had come like this many times—their cocks sliding past one another, tongues questing, bodies arching and straining, hands urging each other onward.

“Now.” Tristan’s whole body vibrated with need. “Now. Fuck me.”

“Man, I love it when you ask. Never going to get tired of that.” Ravi rolled away from him to fumble for a clear plastic box under his bed, coming away with a strip of condoms and a bottle of lube. “Help me out here, though. How is this best for you? On your stomach?”

Ravi had obviously been paying attention to Tristan’s body, and rather than embarrassed, the thought warmed him. “Yeah. And...uh...
prep.
”

“Gotcha.” Ravi laughed as Tristan flipped over, face heating. Ravi leaned forward to kiss the back of Tristan’s neck. “I got you, babe. Promise.”

“I know.” Tristan’s voice was thick with emotion. “I trust you.”

“Thank you.” Those two little words uttered with such reverence stripped away the last of Tristan’s nerves.

Ravi kissed his way down Tristan’s spine, finding all the spots that made him jump and gasp. Tristan closed his eyes, sinking into the banquet of sensation, not even cracking an eye when he heard the
snick
of the lube bottle opening and felt Ravi’s fingers, cool and slippery circling his rim. Dick riding hard against Tristan’s leg, Ravi teased and tortured, all the while raining more kisses down on Tristan’s back.