Betrayal (12 page)

“I, Grace, hereby announce that Ian is my one and only love of my life and will stand by him no matter what trials we face.  I claim him as the only one and renounce any other as being claimed by me.  I vow before you that he is the one and only man who will ever be allowed to come near me in a manner that deems intimate and if you other men out there feel the need to make a dare against him I’ll have you know that he can be ill tempered and may even cut your balls off if you feel the need for the challenge.  So hear ye, hear ye. Ian is my man girls, so please refrain from giggling when you pass him, eyeing or ogling can be seen as the same and will warrant the same ill temperament found in me if you so much as look at my man in a way I find offensive to me.  With this decree I hold you.”

I turned to Pike and curbed my DQ voice down a bit. “And as for you, I find it very hard to see you so upset seeing as how you should be able to have all you want in life too.  I can’t give you want you need, but I can give you something else.  You are hereby free of any bond or whatever hold I may have over you.  If you feel anything but friendship, then let it be for another and let us move on.  I can’t bear to see you in pain, and I miss you as my friend.  We’ve grown to be great friends and I know Ian will appreciate it later if not now.  So go on with what it is you do and know that Ian is the chosen one to deal with me and my so-called dramatic life as I’m bound to since I have to publicly let everyone know our business.”  I turned to the court, “I will not ever do anything like this again since I hereby announce that no one from here on out should have to publicly decide a major life decision in front of hundreds ever again.  Let this be the last and for the record, the first of many days we can rejoice in the good of our court.  For it isn’t a sad occasion to have my king beside me, nor an able friend and royal also to watch over our court’s safety.  Over and out.”  I bowed for effect and curtsied to end it.

I nodded to Pike for the crowd’s sake and enjoyed his willing smile to laugh at my stubbornness and courage and even my abrasive humor.

I then bowed in all four directions and took my turn pulling an eager Ian away from this audience to the room that would one day be our marriage chamber.  I was so ready for it.

He never gave me a chance to talk.  We were too busy doing other things with the words marriage and virtue stopping us before we went too far. 

After sleep overtook my tired from too much brainwave activity worn out body, I woke up from a crazy dream jolting up too quickly.  My lightheadedness made me blurry eyed and incoherent with my surroundings.  Well, not too much that I noticed I was alone.  I patted the bed and found it cold.  He’d been gone a while.

I was already tired of the secret poker night obsession, but I’d made a promise to let sleeping dogs lie.  I was going to get to the bottom of it.  I just wouldn’t do it overtly.

Picking it intentionally, I dressed in a seafoam green cotton gown with long lacy sleeves to stay cool in the warm air and went to find Sarah.   Though my entire wardrobe was some shade of green, it was a different color than most of my choices.  Ian once said that it brings out my eyes to make the natives just restless enough they fear me.  Not hardly! 

Walking past so many Fey even right now, my mind wasn’t on whether the people were being choosy on my style or not.  I knew my brow would perspire at the thought of being a spy on my husband to be.

Sarah was completely against what I was about to do, but she came nonetheless.  She fumbled with her own gown dressing fast and throwing on silent sneak shoes like my own.  Her sleeping at all was odd enough, but I'd learned that Fey girls sleep more than the guys.  Her room was on the opposite end of the court, and funny enough, near Bane’s.  The guards were in a dorm-like kind of setting, with the various “unmarried” girls on the other end.  Snooping around my own court was somehow scarier than any mission or meeting with the Nyms or King Sane.  Since our place of destination was not so far, our sly efforts were not so needed, but who cares. 

Around the corner of the first kitchen door we stood and waited.  No sound meant…no bodies.  Listening with my inner sense helped calm my fear of bumping into someone around each corner, but still. 

Sarah muttered a bored sigh and plunged around the next door waiting for me.  My current favorite charm hung around my neck and found its way to annoyingly dangle back and forth before me. My bracelet only came off at bathing time.  I only needed them when I wasn't paying enough attention and even then thinking of a charm to help was probably absent.  They meant something to me because of who gave them to me.

The halls were as silent as our hidden breaths.  Each airy exhale seemed loud as running water, but no one came and no one heard.  At the next step within the kitchen area, I heard far from female voices deep in manly verses.  We inched this way and that till we were near enough to see they sat round a table.

Cards were everywhere.  A stack here, a stack there.  I knew enough staring at the back of the guard closest to me he had two pair ready to lie down.  Pike was to his left, Ian to his right.  I watched for a long few minutes with Sarah refusing to poke her head around to see.  She whispered, “If we’re caught, you’re own you own.”

I elbowed a rude
thanks a lot
into her side. 

Eyeing Bane next to Ian changed her mind.  Two other guards were there.  One I knew as Eric, the other I didn’t know the name of.  Another figure was on the far end of the table shielded by the huge men that caved the room in.  The bouncer type overseers strangely reminded me of my own guards who were more superhero than anything else.  I wasn’t sure, but it didn’t sound like the smaller creature at the table was saying anything comprehensible.

The hands went down, Ian won.  He collected his winnings and wild man banter rose above the clang of coins and human dollars.  Bane was coming our way.  I scuffed my shoes against the wall and slammed Sarah with it.  She gasped enough that Bane stopped and looked into the dark where we stood.  I was blocking heavily, but I knew he checked for thought patterns.  When he backed away and grabbed whatever it was on the floor where he’d walked too, I took the breath I held and thumped Sarah where I still held her with my hand.  I turned so fast, my necklace hit my face.  I stuck it and my fingers down into the bosom of my shirt and there they sat when I felt him.  I turned to look at what I hoped was just Sarah and suddenly soft linen and man chest crashed against me and whispered fierce, “GET OUT OF HERE NOW, GRACE.”

You know those times you wish you’d stayed in bed?  Well, this wasn’t one of those times.  It was however one of those times that I could very well stick my foot in my mouth...and I did.

I was touching Pike, or rather he was touching me.  I didn't wish to say his attempt to hide me from the poker party was hurting me from everywhere he slammed into me.  My fingers still at length in the open part of my gown forced his eyes to an unwanted target.  Great.  Not feeling like I could pass it off as an itch, I just pulled them out and rested them on my side.

Pike closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

Was that because of my indiscreet finger position or because I was here...where I shouldn’t be?

Either way he repeated his order again and set me off to high altitudes of anger only making me warmed up and geared to cornering him into confession, but his body wouldn't budge.  I couldn't move.

Here was the insert foot part.

“You certainly aren’t soft.” 
Crap!  Triple crap.

He could have commented.  He wanted to comment.  He didn’t.  He did freaking smile that knowing smile that said how very much that would come back on me. 

Since when could he tell me what to do anyway?  “Why Pike?  What is so important that it’s freaking secret to keep?  Whatever that is, it isn’t anything to do with me.  I know what you said before, but you have to be wrong.  Don’t tell me this is secret guy stuff.  I’m not buying it.”

“Don’t ask then.  You don’t want to do this,” Pike was manically freaking me out.  “If you leave, I will come see you tomorrow and explain something to you.”  His jaw tensed, his hands went through his hair. 

“Only if it’s the truth,” I said as his chest heaved against mine.  Had I ever been this close to him?  Sometimes I felt like a wishbone being torn apart into three pieces.  Kin, Pike, and Ian.  They all reveled in taunting me to the point I might burst with fatigue from dealing with them.  However, admittedly, I liked it.  I felt needed.  Wanted.  In the human world, I was a freak.  The only boy I’d ever gone out with was a pity date.  He felt sorry for me and I for him.  My friends thought me the strangest thing on earth, but never left me.  Sometimes I think they wanted to though.

“Yes,” he finally agreed.   Pike was like an animal by now, savage and steaming.  He really didn’t want Ian to find out I was there.  Weird and weirder were at my front door.  I decided to leave it knocking without a cause and walk away.  I took Sarah’s hand and left.

Anger flared my beating heart like a hummingbird.  I wasn’t happy for nectar, and I didn't want want to tool around to get nothing.  I was schooled by the boys of my life still telling me what to do.  I’d get my answers tomorrow.

Pike made good on his promise, mostly.  He told me what I already knew and only added that a debt was being paid.   He’d already spilled that it applied to my wedding in some way, for which I already knew and disbelieved.  It just didn’t add up in my weary head.

What debt and why?

              I did the dumbest thing ever.  I followed Pike again after I promised I wouldn’t.  Rion was with me.  I thanked Ian for his return to bed that night, but Ian was silent about it giving me no real reason for his departure or return despite my request for knowing.  He just held me close and chose to leave the subject at rest. 

              I walked slowly finding that the scent he carried that acted like a trail of bread crumbs for me to follow.  I could smell all the scents of the forest and then some.  Sometimes I wasn’t sure if it was the three of them, or the natural order of the earth around us.  Right now, everything was all mixed up and confusing but wonderful nonetheless.  It called to me.  It was a part of me.  Now that I think about it, it always had.  The term “treehugger” applied to me.  I was one with the trees.

              And so dang philosophical.

              Thirty steps into the woods, I spied Ian stepping up to Pike. 
Dang!

              I ducked behind a tree wondering now how I could do this.  Rion was an expert camouflage, but Ian and Pike were not stupid.  They would find me out.  They
always
found me out.

              I did enjoy watching Ian in the soft light of the night.  His profile was as astonishing as his angled face.  His lashes fluttered closed once when he blinked.  It was like a small gift to see him this way and unable to unwrap it.

              Just as I decided to leave some
thing
else stepped up.  A goblin.  I’d never seen a civilized goblin stand docile and without rage.  They were usually attacking me.

              This one talked funny and after a long sentence of whatever he said, I knew it wasn’t any language I knew.  It was however, the same language I heard the night before.  The disembodied voice hidden between the superhero bouncers.

              Ian riposted him angrily in the same language making my eyes bug out.  Pike did the same.  I hid my thoughts and really decided I ought to leave at that point but I was glued to the event.  Another exchange of words I didn’t get went between them and then Pike and Ian nodded to their goblin
friend
. 

              Ian’s hand shot out and the goblin handed something to him as Ian’s other hand tossed out to him money.  Human money.

              Wow!  What just happened?  I pondered the whole thing as I sat in the garden waiting for what I hoped was Ian or Pike, hopefully Ian, to emerge and come find me.  I wanted to analyze his face for secrets he wasn’t going to tell.  It was killing me to know he held such a huge secret probably for
my own good
.  But I’d snuck around him and learned the surface of this one.  I just didn’t know the rest of it.

              Right on cue I popped my neck in a weird way trying to look effortlessly like I was just “hanging around” and boy did it hurt.  I rubbed my neck trying to pry the pain away. 

              I felt him before he centered his body in the archway then saw hard muscle and tight fists before anything else.  His smile was genuine but I knew he held something behind it.  I ached for knowing.  “What are you up to?  You’re deliberating too much, my love?” His chuckle let out slow.

              I swallowed the air that wasn’t my own and slid my hand down from the back of my collar. 

              He cocked his head sideways, “You okay?”

              I had to lie.  Flippin’ out like I was that he was unaware of my spying, I lied to him. It felt like  a sting.  “I just missed you.”

              He smiled giving me a “
yeah right”
look!  “Since two hours ago,” his deeper voice rang out.  He moved in like I was a target hiding whatever was in his hand in the back pocket of his pants.  He forced me to standing and wrapped his arms around taking over the rubbing on my neck and then moving around my sides in an up and down motion with his breath on my neck.  “Better,” he breathed letting his own body let a defense down for a second. 

              Oh yeah.  Loads.  Or was it...Oh no.  He knows.  I wasn’t exactly sure, but he did.  He had an eerie way of knowing things. A clever way of letting me know…he knows I know.

              He didn’t like keeping his own secret or he didn’t like what he felt he had to keep.  I came to this conclusion without any proof and decided it was better if he kept it.  He apparently needed it.  It’s not like he was sneaking off with a girl or something.  Pike was wrong. This was business stuff.  Stuff that didn’t include me I guessed.  Keeping me safe from it.  At least I told myself all this.

              “Yeah,” I murmured into his chest.  He smelled like the woods.  Not just from his trip, but the Ian scent that drove me to insane and created a loss of rational thought. 

              “I need to get to the meeting room,” I heard him say. 

              “Mmm!”

              He chuckled. “This Grace is different.  You act like this is rare.”  He meant the holding me.

              “I just need you right now.”

              “Something happen?” Alarm was in his words now as he pressed a light kiss on the top of my head.

              “No,” I answered quickly, “I just kind of realized this morning how much I don’t like to be away from you.” I was talking into his chest.  He lifted my chin with the hand he took from my side leaving me cold and shivery from the loss of contact. 

              “Just realized this, huh?”

              I smiled and dragged out the word, “Nooo!” 

              “Meet me after dinner, jeans.” he said so casually.

              Jeans?  Hmmm!  Ill-fated plans in the sneaky forest forgotten.

              He pecked my cheek and headed to the meeting room.  I was expected in the library and headed there.  I wondered what would be discussed in their meeting, but it wouldn’t be secret stuff.  I knew that.

              Dinner was long!

              Dressed, I went to his room in sweet anticipation.  Not since he showed up with the sexy sunglasses and black Levis for a secret rendezvous bike ride did I feel my heart putter as hard.  I loved the full of surprises side of Ian.

              I knocked on his bedroom door.  It felt weird to do it.  Normally I was with him and just entered, but I didn’t want to walk in on a naked Ian.  Or did I?

              I giggled.
Ode to the danger of anticipation.

              The door opened.  I let out a disappointed sigh.  He was fully dressed.  He did however have my favs on.  He knew just what to get me all worked up with. 

              “What are you giggling at without me around to cause it?” he smirked with smugness, not jealousy. 

              “Oh, a hot guy left me waiting at his door on the outside, not in.”  Daring Grace stepped up the plate. 
Batter up!

              He opened the door wider, “I was going for out, but I would graciously let you into my web and spin you into my net for me to feast on alone.”  His eyes spun around me and glowered terrifically inching too close in my personal space.

              That was too much.  I panted.  My eyes bulged. 

              “Then we shall be on our way. I can take care of that smart mouth in other ways, but being here would be dangerous for both of us.”  He cleared the door and stood outside waiting.

             
Don’t I know it!             

              Past the trampoline, into the woods.  Rion was with us. 

              We walked.  He held my hand with a death grip.  After a little ways he turned to Rion and said, “Ten trees length.”

              I had to ask. “Was that for him to keep his distance?”

              “I want you to myself without any other eyes.  He will keep watch.”

              Why did he need to?  Had he before and I just never knew?

              I forgot to even ask because a step more and here I was in some kind of dimly lit covered in candles midnight picnic.  A blanket.  A basket.  Pillows.  Candles. 

              “Oh, Ian,” I cooed.

              He walked up behind me and slid both hands to the nook of my waist.  My favorite way for him to be, wrapped around me.  His breath on my neck, my other favorite.  I didn’t want to move or sit on the pretty setting before me.  I wanted to stay right where I was.

              He let me go of course, lacing my fingers in his and sitting me down beside him.  His hip brushed against my thigh.

                He opened the basket and pulled out bread and oh, wine.

              “Is that wise?” I asked.

              “Oh, why not?” he replied so casually. 

              I was giddy with delight.  I felt wild and crazy.  He laughed at my innocence.

              “What?” I asked.

              “You’ve never had any?” He asked like he didn’t know.

              Unless you count champagne with the enemy.

              “You’d know if I had.  I’ve not been away from you for the better part of my life Ian.  What can I actually hide from you?” Like the secrets he now hold.  That I knew about.  Or at least I thought I did.  Maybe we frequently had conversations in the dark because they were easier to be honest in.  Or at least it seems to happen that way often.

              “Does that bother you, my love?”

              He tacked on the last words to throw me off my game.  No way!  “Yes and no.  I can’t imagine life without you Ian.” I gave in anyway.

              “You sound sad about that.” His face turned down all the while, not looking at me.

              “I just don’t want to lose you Ian.  Sometimes it seems like I have you, and sometimes it seems like you’re far away from me.  You’ve never been far.  Lately, you are.”  I was admitting I was weak without him.  “I hate admitting this to you.  You seem so strong, easy to do all this without me.  I am just a link that tops the puzzle but not part of it.”

              And freakishly calm about it all the time.  It made me crazy to see my own “freak outs” from his perspective knowing he was probably all calm and cool himself. 

              His eyes shot up before the last of what I’d said. He took both my hands in his and pried my fingers open to wrap them up tenderly, “You Grace, are far from just a top as you see it.  This world, this court, and most of all, me--could never be the way it is now without you at the center of it.  You see what you see, but do you see what they see?  What I see.”

              “You talk circles Ian.  I can’t ever figure out what you mean?”  My honesty was all I had left.  He was the one being sneaky.

              “I can’t do any of this without you.  I can’t even start tomorrow without knowing where you are.  I can’t be who they want me to be if you’re not here with me.  Can’t you see that?”

              “No Ian.  I don’t.  I’m guessing it should by the way you say it.  I sit each day in this court smiling at the crowds and being your dutiful queen, but it just seems like that’s all I am.  You do things.  Without me.”  I finally said what I really wanted.   I feared the worst now.

              Whatever dawned on him in face and mind, I wasn’t aware.  “Grace, I do nothing at any time that would ever hurt you in any way.  If I do anything, it is for your safety or for your happiness.  Your life means everything to me and I will do whatever you ask of me to never lose the one who makes me get up each day.  Long ago I made that decision. It will not change, Grace.”

              Whoa!  So much for defiance.  He needed me.  Just me.  “So you don’t expect me to be all powerful Grace telling the crowds to do things.  You don’t think less of me when I don’t command their attentions like your mother.”  That was stupid of me.  This was supposed to be about him keeping a secret concerning his poker nights.

              He drew me nearer.  “You will never be anything like my mother, and I will be sure to remind you.  I love you, Grace.  I will never think less of you.  You’re too damn bold to be left as an ornament though I could easily put you on display as my personal trophy for you are more beautiful than even you know.  You think now that they see you as an ornament just because you don’t wear pants, carry a weapon like a man, and have blood on your face.  That is what I love about you.  You are more than that to them.  You are strong, brave.  You have fear, but command it to stay controlled.  I can’t say the same.  But if you are near me I am all that.  I can’t be anything else without you.” 

              And here I thought he was dreamy eyed when he was around me and I was giving a reason to fight harder for our court and us.  This was one of those Venus moments when Mars suddenly comes into focus for a few brief seconds before returning to their respective X and Y chromosomes.  I didn’t make him weak, I made him stronger.

              He raised himself up to one knee.  I followed his body with my eyes wanting to keep him from going too far.  He pulled something magically from his pocket and cleared his throat, though it wasn’t with the Fey magic I’d seen all this time.