Betwixt, Before, Beyond (16 page)

Chapter Thirty-One

Everything is black again. I don't want to open my eyes. I'm not sure what I'll find. A glass bubble again? A lonely forest?

I squeeze my eyes shut. That only hurts my head.

I know I should investigate, figure out where I actually am, but I'm scared. Memories and dreams have been pounding my brain like surging waves. Bright circles of light, Jody's precious face, Dale's soft smirk, my mother crying, the sterile smell of a hospital, rushed words, urgent shouts, my fist flying straight through Trent's shoulder, Dale's hand in mine.

Soft skin registers against me and I squeeze my
fingers. The hand inside mine responds with a gentle squeeze back.

"Nicky? Are you awake, honey?"

My eyes crack open and the first thing to register is bright light. I clamp my lids shut once more then lick my parched lips before trying again. The bright room slowly comes into focus. I turn my head and see my mother's blue eyes shining down at me.

"Hey," her voice is soft and she tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "Good morning." She smiles.

"What time is it?" I croak and look around me.

"About eight o'clock." She stifles a yawn. "You've been in and out of sleep for a few days. Don't you remember?"

A few days?

I squint my eyes and try to rustle up what memories I have. They are all blurry and filled with fog.

"Where? What?" I frown. "What day is it?"

"Tuesday."

"When did I get here?"

My mom blinks at tears. "Friday. You were in pretty bad shape. You've been on
antibiotics and pain killers...and you were in surgery most of yesterday," her voice hitches. "That's why you've been so out of it."

I gaze at Mom needing something other than my lost memories to focus on. She looks tired with
dark circles under her blood shot eyes. She must have been with me the whole time. Reaching for her hand, I feel it fall into mine immediately. She gives me a brave smile and is about to say something when the door clicks open and my dad strolls in with two cups of coffee.

He is looking gaunt and restless, but his face lights like a Christmas tree when he sees me looking at him.
"Hey."

Handing Mom her coffee, he gives
her a quick peck on the cheek then walks around the bed so he can take a seat beside me.

I'm flanked. Looking from one parent to the other, I take in their warm expressions, their haggard looking relief and it occurs t
o me that they love me. I mean they really love me. My lips are about to start quivering when Dad's chipper voice makes them pause.

"So, how
are you feeling?"

I run an assessing eye over my body, taking in my splinted leg and the heavy cast hold
ing my elbow in place. The painkillers are managing to stave off the brunt of my discomfort, but I can feel it lurking in the background.

Jody warned me this would be a long, slow road.

I sigh. "I look like one half of Frankenstein and I feel like my hair hasn't been washed in a year, so, I think we can tick the 'not so great' box."

His smile is broad.

"Why are you smiling?"

"After a sentence like that, I think we can tick the 'she's gonna make it' box." He blinks and looks away then gives a loud sniff and turns back to me. "It's been a long week. It's nice to hear you speaking coherently."

I run my hand over my cheek and up into my hair. I can feel the egg on my head. I wince. It's still pretty tender.

"So, do you remember anything?"

"Bits and pieces. It's hard to know what's real or if I just dreamed it."

"The most important thing is that you're alive. It doesn't matter what happened." Mom squeezes my hand. "All that matters is that you're safe now."

"But it does matter."

What did I just say?

"It matters." My mouth takes on a mind of it's own. "We can't just keep ignoring...everything. That's how I got into this mess."

"What are you saying?" Mom's frown lines deepen.

I close my eyes and take in a breath. I can't believe I'm doing this, but the idea of a fresh start is so tantilizing that I can't ignore the urge to say my piece.

"Mom and Dad, we can't ignore the fact that Jody's death tore our family apart. You went into a cave." I point to Dad then look at Mom. "And you hid yourself behind this plastic veneer so no one would ever see your tears." They both look pale, but
I push on anyway. "I dove into this world where people could hurt me, because that pain was less than dealing with losing Jo."

Mom's shoulders slump and begin to shake as tears trickle down her face.

"We all ran away from each other when we should have been banding together. I don't..." I clear my throat. "I don't want to come home if things stay the same."

"They won't." Mom looks panicked as she grabs my hand.

I look between my parents.

"That damn tree has to go too."

Mom lets out a tear filled laugh and drops her head on my forearm. My Dad looks serious for a moment before grabbing his jacket and pulling out his phone. He won't look at me as he dials the number and begins to pace as a faint ring can be heard through the earpiece.

"Yeah hi, Marty. How's it going
?... I need you to swing past our place and get rid of a tree for me... I know you're busy, but I need it down by tomorrow.... No, I don't care how much it costs... Thanks."

Ending the call, he spins and looks me straight in the eye. "I know I've let you down, but that ends now. Your mother and I have had a lot of time to talk these past few days. You're right. Jody's death tore us apart, but your near death has brought us back together. It's a new start, Nicky."

"You promise?"

Dad takes Mom's hand and then mine, forming a circle of three. "We promise."

I want to tell them I spoke to Jody. I want them to know what I've been through, but I can't. Maybe one day, but for now my ghostly experience is something for just me and Dale.

Dale.

Panic makes my breath accelerate.

"Where's Dale?" I reach for my dog tags but they're gone.

My parents both frown as I frantically try to look for them. "Where's..."

Dad's eyes narrow slightly then grow wide with realization. Letting go of Mom's hand, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the Granite dog tags.

"He give you these?"

I let out a sigh and reach for them. "Yes."

Running my thumb over the metal, I picture Dale sitting in a jail cell and tears swamp me before I can stop them.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Is he okay? I mean, what's happened to him?"

"Nothing. Sweetie, he's fine. He's the town hero at the moment. I told you this the other night, but you might not remember." She squeezes my right shoulder with a glimmering smile. "He and Adam Hutton found you."

"It's a miracle really." Dad shakes his head. "They were doing some research for a biology assignment — looking for some sample in the national park and Adam spotted a twisted guardrail. They decided to check it out and stumbled across your body. Isn't that amazing?"

And totally unbelievable.

"The police think you were hit by a car, but they have no way of finding out who the driver was. Sheriff Hutton said he would try to do a search for scraped up blue cars in the area, but he didn't think the chances were very high."

I can feel the wrinkles in my forehead as I soak in the falsehoods my parents had been dished.

"Are you mad?"

I glance at my Dad. His expression is hard, his eyes black with barely quelled rage.

"No. I'm alive and safe. I don't care who hit me...and neither should you." I reach for his fingers. I can tell his smile is forced, but at least he's trying.

Images of Dale being pushed into the back of a police car assault me.
The stolen car. The jail break. He's in juvie for sure. Tears burn the back of my eyes. "Where is Dale?"

"At school." 

"What?"

Mom takes my hand and sits down next to me. "He's been here as much as possible. His parents have had to drag him away several times. I'm sure he'll be by after school."

"But...what about jail?"

My parents give each other an odd look.

"I thought..." I frown and lick my lips. "I thought he was arrested?"

"Dale?" My Dad sits forward in his chair. "For what?"

"For..." I swallow down my sentence and start to wonder about that car ride back to the police station.

Chapter Thirty-Two

I spend the rest of the day wondering about the car ride to the station. Sheriff Hutton must have changed his mind if Dale walked free, but I thought he'd be frying his backside and serving him up for dinner. We had totally been trespassing, there was no denying that.

The word of a Sheriff against the word of an ex-c
riminal? Dale had no show.

I fidget with my hospital wrist
band and shift in my bed, careful not to move my splinted knee. Checking the wall on the clock for the millionth time that day, I will Dale to walk through the door and explain everything.

Mom and Dad left me alone to sleep for a little while, but my eyes won't stay shut. I don't care that I'm exhausted. I need answers.

I didn't want to delve into details with Mom and Dad so spent the rest of the day chatting about the kinds of changes we were going to make at home. We were interrupted several times by doctors and physical therapists explaining about my long road back to recovery.

Just thinking about how much work I need to do to get my limbs
moving properly makes me want to cry. I bite down hard on my lip, not wanting to give into the waterworks again.

I glance at the clock. Four o'clock.

"Damn it, Dale, hurry up."

My door clicks open and I glance up with a smile. It fades when I see a shame-faced Adam shuffle through the door. I think I spot a muss of curls in the corridor, but the door closes before I can confirm it.

"Hey, Nicole." Adam fidgets with the zipper on his jacket while he waits at the end of the bed.

"Where's Dale? Is he safe? What happened to him?"

Adam raises his hands, no doubt trying to stop my invasion of questions.

"He's fine. Dad didn't charge him with anything. In fact we snuck in the back of the station and Dad pretended that Dale had been there the whole time."

"How did the deputy not notice?"

Adam shrugs. "He had a ton of paperwork to clean up. When we got there he was just finishing and going on about wind or something."

I bite back my smile.

"What about the stol—
borrowed car?"

"Dale insisted Dad drive him back, so he could return it. He even stopped and filled it up with gas."

How Dale is that? I grin.

"Why did your Dad change his mind?"

"Dale promised not to say anything...about me or my car."

"And your Dad just let him go?"

"I think Dad's going to be watching him pretty carefully."

"He's afraid... and he should be."

Guilt washes over Adam's face.

I shoot him a sharp glare. "Why are you here, Adam?"

"I was told I had to..." He looks to the door then back at me. "I'm sorry...for what I did."

"You mean being a coward?"

He flushes bright red and looks to the floor. "You don't know my Dad."

"I know enough."
Pity needles its way into my system. "I get why you didn't say anything, but I don't get why you're letting him control you this way."

Adam looks up.

"He nearly made you a murderer."

His lips go white.

"If Dale hadn't been there, what would you have done? Would you have buried me alive, like your Dad wanted?"

"How did you know that?" His white face wrinkles with confusion.

I shake my head. "Do me a favor, Adam. Tell your Dad where to stick it. This is your life and you don't want to get to the end of it and realize you've actually lived his."

His brows pucker. "Why aren't
you trying to kill me right now?"

"I have a smashed up arm and a splinted leg. It's kind of challenging."

A small grin plays on his lips.

"I mean it, Adam. I won't say anything about what ha
ppened, that's your decision...just please use this nightmare for good. I'm not going through all this shit so everything around me can just go back to the way it was. Change has to happen...and not just for me." I raise my eyebrows then lift my index finger and point it straight at him. "And if I ever see you pointing a gun at someone again, I'm gonna kick your ass to Jupiter."

The smile on his lips grows wider. "You know when you say stuff like that you sound like her."

"Who?"

"The old Nicky."

I smile back at him, feeling a blush warm my cheeks. "Get out of my room...and send Dale in, will ya?"

Adam nods and pulls open the door, but Dale is nowhere to be seen. Instead the corridor is crowded with a bunch of familiar faces bustling towards me.

They crowd into my room and surround the bed, all smiles and well wishes.

Trent leans down and kisses my cheek. Julie Peters gives me a winning smile and squeezes my hand.

I pull it out of her grasp. What the hell is she doing here?

On the other side of the bed Amber and Penny are gushing while Matt and Drue make useless jokes because they're feeling uncomfortable.

"Your Mom finally said it was okay to visit." Penny smiles.

"We've been asking since they found you and she's kept refusing us." Amber sounds titchy as she gazes at my cast. "Can I sign it?"

She looks around for a pen.

"No." I cover the cast with my good arm.

"What's your problem?"

"Seriously?"

Amber gives me a snotty pout then turns to Penny with a frown.

"We've been so worried about you." Julie reaches for my hand again. I pull it away.

"You don't say." I give her a cold glare.

"Well of course we were." Penny jumps in. "You like disappeared and no one knew what had happened to you."

"Really. No one knew how I ended up walking home lat
e at night...in the middle of nowhere?" I look at Trent, who much to my delight, is squirming in the designer jeans I bought him.

"Look, we know you've had a really tough week, but there's no need to be bitchy. I
mean, it's been hard for us too," Amber frowns.

"Hard for you?" I can't hi
de my shock. "It's been hard...to like text and twitter and come up with a bunch of disgusting theories on what happened to me? Yeah, I can imagine that was really hard."

"Who told you that crap? We didn't do that." Drue shakes his head.

"Dale told me you ran a poll, most people thought I'd run away."

"Finningan? He's lying. He'd do anything to get into your pants. He's been trying since he started at this school."

"Funny." I shrug. "He's about the only guy I know who hasn't tried to get into my pants since Jody died."

An awkward silence drops into the room. The group standing around me look tortured as they glance at eac
h other or up at the ceiling...anywhere but where I'm lying.

"Listen, you've been under a lot of stress. You obviously need some time out to pull yourself together."

"You know what, Penny. Tweet this." I lift the middle finger of my right hand and point it straight at her. She lets out a little gasp and turns beet red. "Now get out of my room."

"Babe..." Trent reaches for my hand, but I whip it away from him.

"You don't get to call me that anymore. We're through. You and Julie can now make out as much you like, guilt free."

Julie's eyes bulge wide and she glances at Trent then looks to the floor.

"What are you doing?" Trent's voice is tight.

"Ridding myself of the bad things in my life."

"What, did they give you psycho pills for breakfast this morning?"

I ignore the jibe with a sweet smile. "I have a promise to keep."

His face bunches with confusion.

"I don't want you to be part of my life anymore." I glance around the room. "You guys aren't good for me and our days of partying together are done."

Amber lets out a disgusted gasp. Penny at least has the decency to look a little ashamed. Drue and Matt look typically non-plussed, but Trent's face is mottling with anger as he points at me.

"You've just committed social suicide."

"Good. I might actually achieve something positive this year."

"What the hell has happened to you?"

I look at Amber's bitchy glare and reply with a smile. "I woke up."

Everyone in the room looks totally baffled by my weird statement. They'll never understand what I saw while I was dying. They will never know the truth and they don't deserve to.

"You can go now."

"With pleasure." Trent grabs Julie's hand and pulls her out the door, glaring at me one last time before turning away. Everyone else follows suit.

I hold my chin high as they leave. It begins to wobble slightly when Amber slams the door, but I catch my lip and command it to stay still. I kept my promise to Jody. That's a good thing. It is. Who cares if I'm now a social outcast?

Closing my eyes, I lean my head against the pillows and let the tears descend. At least Dale will be by soon to mop them up for me.