Beyond 4/20 (2 page)

After dessert, one that they shared since he was on a restricted sugar diet, John leaned in again and began to kiss her. This time, more appropriately, he trailed kisses along her cheek.

Chelsea grinned. “You’re like a kid tonight.”

“I feel like a kid when I’m with you.”

Just as he had done earlier, he began to kiss her bare shoulder and neck.

“I think maybe we should go back to our room before you get any more out of hand.”

He was so romantic and demonstrative; she was reminded of that crazy man she encountered on the Santa Monica Beach.

John leaned in and rested his forehead on hers. “How about Tuscany instead?”

He already had it planned out. He would take her back to the remote cottage they had shared before and pick up where they left off.

“I want to make love to you beside the fire in that house in the vineyard.”

She reached for his face and gently caressed his cheek. What could she say? As much as she wanted to do that, after two weeks away from home, she was missing Lucy terribly, and she had no doubt Lucy was missing her as well. Without her, Chelsea felt as if there were some gaping hole in her heart.

When she didn’t respond, he asked, “Missing home?”

Nodding, she admitted, “A bit.”

“Missing a little girl?”

“A lot.”

“We’ll head home tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to be disappointed, but can we stay home for a few weeks and then head out again?”

“Sure we can. We can do anything we want. I’m not disappointed. As long as we’re together, I don’t care where.”

The only reason he wanted to go back to Tuscany was so that he might finish what she nearly started during their last visit. In the time they were apart, he had often thought of the abandon with which she kissed him that night. For the first time she had allowed her hands to roam a bit, only on his chest and arms, but she was much more sensual than he had ever seen before or after that night. Well, until their wedding night. With those thoughts in mind, he moved back in toward her neck.

“John!”

They quickly left the restaurant and went back to their room. At that point, Chelsea barely got through the doorway before he scooped her up and carried her off to the bedroom. Tossing her onto the bed, he removed his jacket and kneeled on the bed beside her.

Just at that moment, Chelsea’s phone began to ring. She looked up at him wondering if he would even let her up to answer.

“You are crazy tonight!”

“I’m crazy about you every night.”

He reached for her phone on the bedside table. Though he had no intention of looking to see who was calling, regretfully, he saw that it was Tuck. Handing her the phone, he stood and walked out of the room to give her privacy.

Concerned over John’s expression as he handed her the phone, she called out, “You don’t have to go.”

“I’ll give you a minute,” he said as he walked through the doorway.

“Hello.”

“When are you coming home?” Lucy demanded.

Chelsea smiled and her heart leapt at the sound of Lucy’s voice. “Tomorrow. I miss you like crazy.”

“I miss you, too.”

Lucy looked up at her dad, and he sure wasn’t happy about her calling Chelsea. “My dad didn’t want me to call. He said I would bother you.”

Shaking his head in the background, Tuck whispered, “Don’t tell her that! I just meant you should wait…”

Lucy wasn’t listening to him. Chelsea was telling her about crocs and koalas and about all the things she was bringing home for her.

Chelsea looked at the clock and tried to figure the time difference. “What time is it? Is it almost time for school?”

“Yes. I’m supposed to get up in a little while.”

“Why are you up so early?”

“I was sad and that woke me up.”

Chelsea closed her eyes and pictured Lucy’s sweet little face. One thing she rarely saw was Lucy with a sad face. What came to mind was her expression when she had opened the door for Tuck and Lucy last Christmas Eve. That was the saddest Chelsea had ever seen her. Lucy had been upset and had insisted they visit Chelsea since she was alone and missing John. Their connection, hers and Lucy’s, was such a mystery, but whatever drew them together, Chelsea was thankful for it, and even more thankful that Tuck allowed her to remain in Lucy’s life even after John came.

“Are you sad because of me, doodle bug?”

Lucy breathed in and out few times, trying to keep from crying. Tears were stinging her eyes. Just to hear Chelsea’s voice made her less sad, but she was still kind of sad.

“My dad says I need to go now.”

“Wait.”

Chelsea was too late as she heard Lucy pass the phone off to Tuck.

“Hey.” Tuck regretted that he had allowed Lucy to call. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

“For what?”

“I shouldn’t have let her call, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

“What’s going on?”

“She’s just been – I don’t know, lost I guess.”

At the thought of Lucy feeling lost without her, Chelsea began to cry softly. “Me too.”

Realizing she had begun to cry, Tuck did as well, so quickly, he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand.

“I’m really sorry we’ve called and upset you. I never meant for this to happen. She’s been asking for days, but I told her you needed time away.”

“I’ve wanted to call but was afraid to.” She paused and then softly added, “I was trying to be considerate of your feelings.”

Since day one, Chelsea had thought of calling, but each and every time she did, she imagined how it might make Tuck feel to answer the call, knowing she was on her honeymoon with John. It hurt her heart to know how much that would hurt his, so she didn’t.

“Chelsea, you can call anytime. I’m not a sissy.”

She laughed. “No, you’re not a sissy.”

John overheard just enough from Chelsea’s side of the conversation to prompt him to call and have the jet made ready. When he saw Tuck’s name on the screen, he had become immediately irritated. Not considering it might be Lucy, he just presumed it was Tuck calling. As much as he knew Tuck wasn’t trying to come between them, John still felt threatened by his feelings for Chelsea. If it were a relationship that was simply over, there would be no concern, but because of the Lucy factor, John couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous. Chelsea was bound to the daughter of the only man she had ever loved before him, so indirectly bound to him as well.

Just as he did early on, John accepted Lucy and Chelsea’s relationship. Actually, after the past months of being around her several days each week, he was finding himself loving the little girl more and more. On the afternoons she would come over after school, Lucy would always make her way to his office over the garage. When that door opened and she smiled at him, he simply melted. Many times she asked that he help her with her math, saying he explained things better than Chelsea. Once even, she brought him a picture she drew of him and her doing homework. It was hanging right next to his computer where he saw it every day. He treasured the picture; he treasured Lucy. At first, he thought it was his desire to be a father that made her so special to him, as if he was in training with her, but that wasn’t it at all. Chelsea nailed it. Lucy was like this little lady in a girl’s body. She said the funniest things and always kept him in stitches. Quite simply, he had come to truly love her.

The Tuck thing still disturbed him, though. Never was he afraid that Chelsea still had feelings for Tuck. Actually, he knew she did. It was evident in the way she constantly tried to protect his feelings. That went way beyond her sweet nature. It was love that protected the way she did. What John did know was that she loved
him;
she showed him each and every day. He settled on the fact that Tuck would likely always be part of their lives. No matter how he felt about it, it just was.

Stepping back into the bedroom, John found Chelsea sitting on the bed, legs drawn up to her chest and her chin resting on her knee. When he sat on the side of the bed and found her lower lip pooched out as if she were about to cry, he asked, “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I miss her so much.”

“I know, baby. You could have told me. We could have gone home and come here later.”

“But you were so excited about this trip.”

Moving nearer, he informed her, “I’m excited about you. No matter where we are, as long as we’re together, I’m jumping for joy. I mean that.”

He slid his hand behind her neck and pulled her face to him. Softly, he kissed her forehead. “Get your things together. You have a little girl waiting for you.”

Shaking her head, she assured him, “Tomorrow is fine. I told her we were leaving then.”

“Jet’s already being fueled.” With that, he went to the closet to get the suitcases. Tossing them on the bed, he said, “Let’s go home.”

Chapter 2

T
he flight home was long, longer it seemed than the trip to Sydney. Chelsea was eager to be back, eager to see Lucy. In flight, Chelsea called Tuck and asked if it would be okay for her to visit with Lucy when they arrived. Since it would be around dinnertime, she hoped to take her to eat with them. Then on the weekend, she wanted to have her over to spend the night. Tuck seemed okay with both. When Chelsea hung up the phone, she turned to John and admitted, “I feel sorry for him.”

Reaching for her hand, he agreed. “I know. I kind of do, too.”

As often as John felt that twinge of jealously over Tuck, just as often, he felt bad for the guy. Before the wedding Lucy had told them Tuck was seeing someone, which made John feel a little better, but clearly, so soon after his visit to L.A. and his admission that he loved Chelsea enough to be her second best, John knew it was a rebound relationship. Those never worked out. John didn’t anticipate the relationship lasting much longer, and once that was over, he would likely feel that sense of being threatened again.

He often asked himself and even prayed about what was so threatening about Tuck. John knew Chelsea loved him and that she was totally devoted to their marriage. He also knew that Tuck had no intentions of pursuing Chelsea. So what was so threatening? As near as he could ever conclude, it was the waiting. John had a sense that Tuck was waiting still, waiting for him to be out of the picture so that he could someday be with Chelsea. Could any man be that patient and love that long?

Chelsea ran down the sidewalk towards Lucy. Lucy ran towards Chelsea. Watching this, Tuck smiled when the two collided in the middle, both squealing in excitement as they hugged. Since talking to Chelsea on the phone, he had prepared his heart for this moment. As much as he knew it would affect him, he was able to maintain his composure. Watching them, however, he had to admit, if no one was around he would likely tear up a little.

Since Chelsea had been gone, Lucy was truly not herself. Maybe the first few days she was all right, as it was normal for her to only be with Chelsea a few days each week, but by the fourth day, it had begun to take its toll. She talked about Chelsea and John non-stop, and as much as he wished she would quit, he never said a word. He just let her talk. It hurt. Every mention of Chelsea’s name hurt. Each praise for John hurt. Lucy loved them, and Tuck would have to get used to it. The conclusion he did come to during Chelsea’s absence was that they had somehow become some unconventional family. As if they were sharing joint-custody of their daughter together, Tuck and Chelsea discussed Lucy’s well-being. Then there was John, the new “step-dad,” whom Lucy adored. Tuck’s mom often shook her head over the whole matter but agreed with him that things seemed to be working best for Lucy with Chelsea in her life.

Chelsea approached Tuck hesitantly, hoping she wouldn’t find pain in his eyes. It was the first she had seen him close up since the night on her porch when he cried and they held one another. After that night, he never came back to her porch. He honked and waited for Lucy, or if Chelsea brought Lucy home, he would wait on the porch for Lucy to get out of the car. Seeing him smile this night, she sighed in relief. Lucy had run to the car to see John and get her souvenirs.

“Hey. Glad to see you made it home safely.”

“Thanks. It was a long trip.”

Feeling bad for her, he apologized, “I’m sorry. I hope you didn’t cut your trip short on account of Lucy’s phone call.”

“No. I was ready to come home anyway.”

Standing there awkwardly, Tuck slid his hands in his pockets.

Chelsea hesitated a moment before finally asking, “I know this may seem inappropriate considering her age, but would you mind if I got Lucy a phone.” Before he could say anything, she added, “I won’t tell her anything about it until you decide. I just thought that would allow me to call her when I travel, and I won’t have to bother you. We can set rules about when she can use it.” Realizing she said
we
, she rephrased it. “I mean you; y
ou
can decide how she uses it.”

Nodding slowly, he said, “That’ll be all right, I s’pose.”

“Okay then. I’ll pick one up tomorrow.”

Waving a small wave, she said, “I’ll have her back after dinner. Thanks for letting her go.”

As she turned to go, Tuck said, “Chelsea.”

She turned back to him.

“You don’t have to do that, keep walking on egg shells around me. I’m all right, and I’m certainly all right with you being so much a part of Lucy’s life. She needs you, and I’ll never do anything to stand in the way of that. I meant what I said. She’s yours too.”

As soon as he said it, he was reminded of that night on her porch, when he had clung to her, knowing he had lost her for good.

Relieved, Chelsea smiled. “Thanks. I guess I just haven’t wanted to step on your toes or presume too much.”

“You’re awfully little to do much damage if you do step on my toes. Just do what comes natural. I think you’re doing a great job with her.”

When she left, Tuck had dinner with his mom and then drove out to the house site. Pulling up to the “porch” he parked and got out. Since his conversation with Chelsea, he could think of little else. Where Lucy was concerned, Chelsea had become rather tentative but only since John had arrived. Prior to that, she got Lucy any time she wanted without much concern if he cared or not. She would call and say, “Hey, I’m picking up the kid after school. I’ll bring her home later.”

Since John, she was different. It was always as if she were asking his permission to do whatever with the expectation that he might say no. Anything that was for Lucy’s good would always be what he wanted, no matter how much it broke his heart to be on the outside of their relationship.

Allison, on the other hand, the girl he began dating once John came back into Chelsea’s life, didn’t see things the same way. Early on she didn’t say much about it, but soon enough, she had plenty to say. Mostly she said it was unhealthy, confusing even, for Lucy to maintain such a close relationship with someone who was not her biological mother. She thought Chelsea was selfish and controlling to keep the relationship going. A few times, she blamed Tuck for encouraging the relationship, accusing him of waiting in the wings, hoping for more with Chelsea by keeping the door open between her and Lucy. None of those things were true.

Just a few days before Chelsea’s wedding he told Allison it was over. Since then, she had called repeatedly, hoping to work things out, but Tuck’s mind was settled. Technically, it was settled against her even before it began. How could he pretend with her when no matter what, he was still in love with Chelsea? He was no longer waiting since such a thing would clearly not honor God. Chelsea was, after all, another man’s wife, but neither was he moving on. He wasn’t ready for that. It hadn’t been fair to Allison, and their brief time together had turned out disastrous, so he knew it best that he not put anyone else in that position.

Since he wasn’t waiting and he wasn’t moving on, he didn’t know exactly where that left him. That’s what he pondered this night. All he had ever known was waiting for what he believed to be a promise. At the memory of it, Tuck’s lips formed into a soft smile. He always did at the recollection of that day.

When Chelsea was fourteen, she stepped on a rusty nail in the barn and it tore through her sneaker. Though it didn’t seem to do much damage at the time, within a few hours, she was burning up with a fever and having problems breathing, so her mother rushed her to the emergency room. Since they decided to admit her, Tuck’s mother went to pick up the little kids at the hospital. He rode with her.

While their mothers talked in the waiting room, Tuck wandered into Chelsea’s room and stood watching her as she slept. There was something about seeing her lying there like that; it scared him. She was extremely pale and had a needle sticking in her hand and tubes taped to her arm. That was what really scared him for her, the needle. Of course at the time he didn’t realize she was simply hooked up to an IV. For a fifteen year old boy, it all seemed very serious.

He couldn’t remember life without Chelsea around. Because she was such a tomboy she had been following her brother Bobby and him around since she was little bitty. Three years younger than Bobby and a year and half younger than Tuck, Chelsea never had a problem keeping up. Whatever they got into, she did too, and he liked her for that. She wasn’t scared of snakes or spiders. She was never ultra-girly, but that day in the hospital she seemed breakable, and he wondered if she might die. In those quiet moments standing over her bed, he decided that the thought of losing her scared him much more than the needle.

Prior to that, he had heard from God. Though he never really told anyone so, he had. It was always a leading voice as God would tell him to say this or that, or to be kind to someone, but that night, He spoke so clearly that Tuck was never the same afterward. God whispered into his heart that Tuck would take care of Chelsea and love her unconditionally. He believed it and considered her his already.

Next, he did something that he had never told a soul. He leaned over and kissed her. It wasn’t exactly on the lips, but neither was it on the cheek, kind of there on the corner of her mouth. That kiss was his first kiss and hers too. She just never knew it. From that point forward, he began patiently waiting.

Knowing Bobby as he did, Tuck would never try to begin a relationship with Chelsea when she was so young, so he decided that the time would come and that he would know when it was right. That time came a little more than a year later. She was fifteen and he was nearly seventeen. Though he didn’t really move on the feeling right away, he at least started seriously considering it. It was around that time that she had her first boyfriend. Well, not technically a boyfriend since her daddy wouldn’t allow it, but he was a friend who was a boy. His name was Brandon and he was a sophomore, same as Tuck. Since they were on the baseball team together, he knew Brandon better than she did and had an opportunity to hear how he talked about girls he had been with. Brandon was only out for one thing, and Tuck wasn’t about to allow him to get that
one thing
from Chelsea.

One Friday night they were eating burgers after a ball game. It was Chelsea, Bobby, and Tuck. She mentioned Brandon in passing, but when she did, there was this little twinkle in her eyes. He suspected she was really beginning to like him.

A while later, when Chelsea went over to another table to talk to friends, Tuck asked Bobby, “So, are you gonna let her get mixed up with that guy?”

Bobby had been more focused on his burger than the conversation. “What guy?”

“Brandon. The guy Chelsea was just talking about.”

Bobby turned to look at Chelsea and found she was talking with a group of girls, so he wasn’t so concerned. At least there was no immediate threat. He shrugged.

“Brandon, the one who brags about all he’s done. You know, Squirrel?”

Bobby had given Brandon the nickname his first day at practice and it stuck. Likely, with Bobby being a senior and Brandon a sophomore, he had no reason to learn his real name and clearly had no idea about him and Chelsea.

“Squirrel? That little horn dog? Not with my sister!”

The words were no more out of Bobby’s mouth when Brandon walked in. Bobby jumped to his feet, walked over to Squirrel, and bumped his chest into him.

“You touch my sister, and I’ll hurt you. I mean like change your life kind of hurt you. You got it?”

Tuck watched Chelsea’s reaction to the exchange between the two. At first glance, she appeared angry. Within seconds, Brandon left and Chelsea confronted Bobby. When he told her some of the things Brandon said about other girls he had been with, Chelsea seemed to change her mind about him. She trusted Bobby. She had every reason to. Though overprotective and sometimes a bit suffocating, he had nothing but her best interest at heart, and she knew it.

That night, Tuck had diverted what could have been Chelsea’s first real relationship. He knew he didn’t have much time before another guy started sniffing around her, but he just wasn’t ready to make the way with Bobby. He feared it would somehow hurt their friendship. In the long run, it did.

Months after that, early in the summer, Tuck and Bobby were swinging into the creek from a rope while Chelsea swam. They had done it a thousand times over the years, so when Tuck landed as he did and cut himself, no one could figure how it happened. He was bleeding so badly that he needed stitches. Bobby, though, never one with much of a tender heart, wouldn’t allow Tuck to ride in his new-to-him truck fearing he would bleed all over the seat. So Tuck was forced to ride in the bed of the truck, and Chelsea insisted she ride with him and keep pressure on the wound. Those were the first moments when everything began to change.

As they rode, a few times when she looked at him, he saw a new shyness in her eyes. They had hung-out all their lives, and he was quite certain he had never seen such a look. It was as if she feared he would see something she intended to keep hidden. At the time, he wasn’t exactly sure, but he suspected that maybe the time had come. Maybe that was what he had been waiting on: her to
know
it too.

In the ER, Chelsea went into the exam room with him while Bobby waited for Tuck’s mother. After his initial exam, once they were alone, he saw it again, that unusual look on her face. When he caught her looking at him, she smiled softly and looked away.

He insisted, “Don’t do that.”

“What?”

When she asked, she seemed rather embarrassed or as if maybe she feared he had seen too much, so he assured her, “You never have to hide anything from me.”

Reaching out, he touched her cheek. “I feel it, too.”

She sighed and moved in a bit closer. Resting her forehead on his cheek, she asked, “You do?”

He trailed his fingers beneath her chin and lifted her face to look at him. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“You have?”

Her words were quiet, nearly a whisper. When she looked up at him with those wide and innocent eyes, he knew it then: he would love her for the rest of his life. He leaned in and kissed her softly, exactly where he had first kissed her, neither fully on the lips or cheek. Grinning, he admitted, “I’ve been waiting for that, too.”