Beyond (BOOK 1.5) (9 page)

"He didn't have to take the fall for you, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess."

I look down at my freshly painted nails, now a chocolate brown, and think about what my mom said. "I know this might be hard to understand, but there's more than one way to say,
I love you
. When your dad resigned to cover your ass, I think that's what he was trying to tell you. Even when he wanted to bury me so that you wouldn't get in trouble. No matter how strict or scary he's been to live with, deep down, beneath all his bullshit, I think he really loves you, Adam."

Where the hell is this coming from?

I don't even know how I manage to keep my voice so calm and sincere. The Sheriff is such a jerk. But no matter how much of a jerk he has been, I still can't deny the fact that I really think he did all this for Adam. He wants his son to have the best...because he loves him.

"Thanks, Nicky," Adam mumbles, lightly slapping me on the head with the papers.

I chuckle. "Now go become the best damn Navy SEAL there is, and prove to your dad how much you love him back."

I think he likes that I said that, because his blue eyes sparkle and the side of his mouth jerks with a little smile. "Get out of here, Tepper. Stop bossing me around."

With a cheeky grin, I turn and walk to the end of the aisle. Just before I duck out of sight, I turn one last time. I can't help myself. Clearing my throat, I stand to attention and give him a salute. Before he can throw anything at me, I nip back to my desk, but I'm sure I hear him chuckle.

Dale's at the table, looking at my stuff and scanning the library, no doubt wondering why I'd left all my stuff sprawled across the table.

"Where'd you go?"

"Oh," I glance over my shoulder. "I was just looking for a book."

He looks at my empty hands with a frown.

I rub my fingers together and smile at him.

His frown takes a while to dissipate. Things haven't been the same between us since I lied to him at city hall. I can't put my finger on what it is. Dale's been edgy, I've been nervous and neither of us can talk about it. He was away all weekend which didn't help and the times we've been spending together recently have been of the silent type.

This worries me. I'm scared he wants to break up with me before he heads off to college, but doesn't want to hurt me. The thought is like a butcher's knife through my stomach, so I block it out and continue smiling. "What are you doing here?"

"Mr. Attley let us out early, so I thought I'd come find you...walk you to lunch." He would usually grab my hand at this point, or give me a kiss. Today he does neither. His hands are in his pockets, which tarnishes his sweet sentiment. I wish he'd tell me why this silent distance seems to be growing between us. I know I could ask, but I'm not sure I want to hear the answer. It's not like I'm doing much to fill the silence with anything.

My hands are shaking as I pack away my stuff. I'm sure my cheeks are flushed from lying to him. I keep my eyes down, feeling his steady gaze on the back of my head.

Adam walks past us as I lift my bag onto my shoulder. Our eyes connect for a brief moment, but he quickly glances away. Dale's frown is marked as we silently follow him. I thread my fingers through his and give them a squeeze. He kind of squeezes back, but then his hand goes limp in mine. It's the longest walk out of the library ever.

As soon as we're in the corridor, Dale pulls me into a quiet classroom.

"I can't do this anymore," he mutters.

"What?" My voice is breathy and pathetic. He's breaking up with me now?

"Nicky, what's going on?" Dale's scar looks red as his cheeks go taut. "I know something's up. You're lying to me."

"I—"

"Don't say you're not." He sighs and runs a hand over his short hair. "Is—is something going on with you and Adam? I heard someone say they saw you getting into his car last week...the day you bailed on me." He grips the back of his neck, looking pained and frustrated. "Are you...are you guys..." He's struggling to form the words because I think he's about to accuse me of cheating.

I blanch and grip the strap of my bag. "No. What are you talking about? No!"

He raises his hands, his usual attempt at stopping a verbal onslaught from me. I wasn't actually about to get mad with him, but whatever. If anything he's probably entitled to assume those things. I lied to him. I did sneak off with Adam, and my reputation is hardly sparkling. But I would never...on Dale? He has no idea how lucky I feel just being with him.

I cross my arms, unable to look at him. I need to nip this conversation in the bud. I can't let Dale know what I've been up to...even if he is thinking the worst of me right now.

"Dale," I force a gentle tone. "I know I've been callous with relationships in the past, but I would never cheat on you...I couldn't do that. Not to you."

He looks sad for a second and won't look at me. "I know. I'm sorry for even thinking it." He kicks the desk leg lightly. "I just hate the thought that you're hiding something from me. I...I like it that we can talk about everything."

My insides go all soft and mushy when he uses that voice. He's going to try and get the truth out of me. Damn it! I can feel myself folding already.

"This past week you've been really...I don't know. Like you're trying to pull away from me or something."

I'm trying to pull away? I'm not the one begging for a spot on the east coast? Hello!

His words bug me though. Have I been? Was getting wrapped up in the
Get Dale into Columbia
mission an attempt to pull away so that when he does leave it won't hurt so much? It was a damn good distraction. I have to admit, that now just waiting around to hear news of his acceptance is like a whole new level of torture.

I try not to let any of this show as I walk towards him, placing my hand on his neck. My thumb rubs over his smooth scar. "I'm not trying to hide from you." Well, not anymore anyway. I've done my part. Now I just have to wait for D-Day to arrive. Speaking of D-Day. "Have you...heard from any more colleges yet?"

He eyes me skeptically, not missing my swift topic change. His face masks over and he gazes down at our feet. "Still waiting." He shrugs.

There he goes again. Now who's hiding?

His silence is really getting to me. He was pretty closed off about his weekend. What was he doing?

I'm trying to figure out how to ask him when the door swings open and a flustered teacher with an arm full of paperwork walks in. She's new this year. What's her name again?

"Kids, you shouldn't be in here during lunch. Please, this is my only free time today. Get out." In spite of the firm order, her words are said with a sweet smile.

Snatching up our bags, we make a beeline for the door, and both decide to drop the inquisition. We're both hiding something. We both know it. If I don't tell him what I've been up to then maybe he shouldn't have to tell me what he's been doing. I try not to let this bug me as we make our way to lunch.

All I have to do now is trust that the wheels I set in motion will give Dale the thing he craves most. My heart quivers, wondering if I can take it.

Chapter 13

My heart can't take it!

It's the next day and there it is again. Another Columbia University letter. I can see it on the counter. Part of me wants to run to it and rip it open for Dale. Did it work? Did all my scheming pay off?

Another part of me, the big quivery heart part, makes me back towards the door.

"I just remembered." My shoulder hits the doorframe. "I have to... My mom wants me home a little earlier this afternoon." I can't take my eyes off that damn letter. I don't want to know. Either way, I don't want to know what is in that freaking envelope.

Dale's watching me with a worried frown. He follows my line of sight. As soon as his eyes hit the envelope, I can't take it anymore.

"See ya!" I dash out the door before he can stop me, ignoring him when he half-heartedly calls my name. I know he won't follow me. He's seen the letter. He's gonna be opening it right now.

I stumble into the house, not even noticing if anyone's home. I don't care. I just need my room...my bed...a full box of Kleenex. My eyes are already dripping tears by the time I make it. I dump my bag on the floor and fling myself onto the bed, clutch my pillow and sob like a toddler.

I know, totally over dramatic, but I feel like I've kind of earned this.

I haven't kicked up a serious fuss since this whole college debacle started, which is so unlike me. I think I'm entitled to a tear-fest.

My stomach starts to hurt from all the jerking, and my pillow is soon sodden. The tears have all dried up and I've got nothing left, but I still can't move. I just want to lie here. I feel exhausted, spent, and now I have to face like the bleakest future ever.

Tears are just setting in once more when there's a soft knock on my door.

"Go away, Mom."

"She's not here."

Dale's soft voice makes me gasp. I spin around to face him. Crap, I probably look terrible...blotchy face, puffy eyes, snotty nose. I grab for a Kleenex and quickly mop up.

"Where…where is she?" I scrunch up my tissue and throw it towards the trash can. For once it actually gets in. I'm too depressed to celebrate or even look surprised.

Dale's eyes are dancing with amusement as he leans against the doorframe. "I'm not sure. The house is empty...except for us."

Usually this news thrills me. An uninterrupted make-out session! Yes!

But I can't muster it today. Instead, I just stare at him, from his peaked eyebrow to the letter in his hand.

Crap. The letter.

I recognize the white envelope, my breath catching in my throat. He taps it twice against his leg and steps further into the room.

"Nicky." He holds the letter up. "What did you do?"

"What do you mean?"

Giving me a droll look, he unfolds the letter, reading, "Due to a reassessment of your application, Columbia University is pleased to inform you that you have been accepted."

My heart trips. I don't know whether to feel elation or deflation. I kind of feel both. My lips twitch with a grin in spite of the deflation factor. "Why do you think I had anything to do with it?"

"Nicky, I know it was you." He perches on the edge of my bed, facing the wall, his elbows propped on his knees. He glances at me over his shoulder then shakes his head. "I know your powers of persuasion are nearly unbeatable, but seriously what did you do?"

I roll towards him and run my finger down his back. "I maybe...had a chat to the Sheriff."

"A chat?" He swivels to face me, his knee touching my stomach.

"Or maybe I blackmailed him a little bit." I wince.

"What? Nicky!"

"I just asked him if he'd make a call and give you a really good reference, that's all. It worked, didn't it? With some help from the mayor as well," I mumble.

Dale's eyes bulge wide, but then they scrunch with confusion and finally settle on understanding. "The mayor." He shakes his head with a smile I don't understand. I'm about to ask him when he keeps talking, "Nicky, what the hell have you been up to? Is…is this why the sheriff resigned?"

"No, well, I mean yes." I grab Dale's fingers, trying to take that shocked look off his face. "I had no choice. I had to get Adam involved and then he got all noble and went and confessed everything to the mayor. I didn't intend for it to go that far. I just...I know how much you wanted Columbia and how you didn't want to disappoint your dad and stuff."

Dale's voice is soft, laced with a touch of fear, "Nicky, that could have been really bad."

I didn't want to tell him that it nearly was bad...very bad. I swallow and prop myself up on my elbow. I let go of Dale's hand and run my fingers up his arm, loving the curve of his bicep. I wriggle my fingers beneath the fabric of his T-shirt, trying to memorize it.

A breath puffs out his nose as he looks at the letter, slightly perplexed. "Why would you go to all this effort for me?"

"Because!" I drop back on my pillow and stare at the ceiling, unable to look at him. "You...you're amazing and talented and good, and you deserve the world, Dale." I turn to him, my voice trembling. "I want you to have everything your heart desires."

His expression goes all mushy, his eyes dancing with a tenderness beyond anything I've seen before. His lips stretch with a gentle smile as he drops the letter to the floor and gets on the bed, lying down beside me. The length of his body presses against mine. I love the way we fit next to each other, like a jigsaw puzzle.

His head is propped on his hand so he can look down at me. Running his fingers over my face, he leans towards me. His lips are exquisite as they touch mine for a brief kiss. "You know what I want most in this world?"

Columbia? New York City?

Both thoughts make me want to cry, and I hate myself. I can't believe I gave him his dream. I'm such a fool!

I shrug and look away from him.

Gripping my chin, he gently nudges me back to face him. His eyes lock onto mine, and I can't let go. "You, Nicky. I want you."

"What?" I can't help sounding stupid. What is he saying to me right now?

With a soft chuckle, he runs his thumb over my open mouth. "I want to be near you." He kisses my lips then my cheek, and then rests his lips against my ear. "Which is why I finally told my dad about Columbia."

"What'd he say?" Worry surges through me.

Dale's face crests with a very small frown and he shrugs. "He was disappointed at first, but then we talked it through, and he saw where I was coming from. He understood that my dreams have changed."

"What do you mean?" I whisper, a fleeting hope stealing the strength from my voice.

"I mean that I've decided to attend UCLA."

I'm sure I look like a psycho killer from a horror movie with my big puffy eyes and my dumb struck expression. "You got into UCLA?"

He grins. "I found out yesterday."

And then I slap him on the chest. "Why didn't you tell me you were applying there? I thought you wanted an east coast school!"