Big Girl Backstage Pass (Rock Star BBW Erotic Romance) (7 page)

“Let’s just lie like this for a while,” Julian said.

“You don’t want...” Shannon trailed off. In her heart a twinge of pain made her wince and a hundred ugly questions reared up. She had fought so hard to keep her anxiety at bay, but it was like the mythical hydra – every time she thought she had cut down one of her insecurities, two more rose to take its place.

Did he think she was ugly?

Was he not turned on?

Did he just not want her? Would
anyone
ever really want her?

“You don’t want to...” She tried again to say the words, but her throat seemed to be closed. Ridiculous – a second ago she had been sure of his affection, but now she couldn’t even bring herself to ask him if he wanted to fuck her.

“I do,” Julian said, hugging her tight. He kissed her temple. “Just not tonight. Not right now.”

“Why?”

As soon as the word came out, Shannon knew she had messed up. Julian’s face dropped and Shannon tried to repair the damage.

“I don’t mean... I only wanted to...”

Julian shook his head and smiled again, and Shannon’s heart unclenched a bit in her chest.

“Don’t worry, Shannon,” he said. “It’s just that I’m really tired from the show, and the band is traveling tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

Julian stroked her hair with his fingers.

“We have two more stops on the tour.”

Shannon wanted to ask if she would see him again, but she worried about sounding needy. He answered her unspoken question with a kiss.

“Please, please don’t worry. I want you,” he said, kissing her shoulder. “I want to be with you again. And I want to fuck you like crazy.” He grinned, and Shannon flushed a bit, giggling.

“Do you always get what you want?” Shannon teased. She felt so much better, so relieved. He did want her. Of course he was tired.

“Always,” Julian said, hugging her. He wrapped his body around her, curling her tightly to his chest in post-coital bliss. “Do you need to wake up for anything? Class?”

“No,” she said. She would take tomorrow off and spend her hours dreaming about what had just happened. It already felt unreal to her, like an image through a lens. She heard him yawn
behind her.

“Goodnight then, sexy redhead.”

“Goodnight, sexy rock star.”

Shannon looked at herself in the dimly lit mirror. Her body was covered by the sheets but she could still make out the line of her shoulder, dipping down to her waist and then back up to her hip. Julian’s dark hair lay tousled over the pillow, his arm slung across her curves under the covers. His chest rose and fell, and she could feel him easing steadily into the rhythm of sleep behind her.

What next?
she thought, then mentally kicked herself for being ridiculous. There was nothing that came next, just an awkward conversation and shuffle out the door in the morning. It wasn’t as though a girl like her could ever be the girlfriend of a rock star. And yet...

She looked again in the mirror. Julian’s body fit against hers like they were two pieces of a puzzle. Her hair was a dark ruby red in the dim light, and for a split second she glimpsed the beauty that Julian saw in her.
Sexy redhead, indeed.
Her eyelids drooped down sleepily as she fell out of one dream and into another.

***

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Here’s a taste of the next book in the series,
Big Girl Going On Tour... Now available on Amazon!

Shannon stared across the doorway at Julian, a thousand thoughts running through her mind.
It was him. It really was him.
She didn’t know what to say.

Julian stepped forward, shyly offering her the rose. She took it, and his fingers brushed against hers. The single touch made her body flinch with a desire that she had been trying unsuccessfully to stifle for the past few days.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” Julian said.

“It’s…it’s okay. I understand. You’ve been busy with tour stuff.”

“That’s no excuse.”

“You’re in a famous band. That’s enough of an excuse, I guess.”

Julian winced, and Shannon thought she might have said the wrong thing. God, this wasn’t starting out how she wanted it to.

“I just mean you’ve got a lot on your plate.”

“It’s not that at all.” Julian’s voice was rough, as though he was stammering through the words, trying to figure out how to move his tongue to get the right letters out.

“What is it?” If it wasn’t his band, then Shannon didn’t know what it could be. A flame of anger began to rise up inside of her. If he hadn’t called just because…

“I was nervous. I thought maybe I messed up. With you.”

“Messed up?”

“I thought maybe you wanted to be able to tell people you were with, you know, a famous rock star. That it wasn’t really me you wanted. That I was just a good story to tell to your friends.”

Shannon’s mouth dropped open.
That
was what he was afraid of? A mixture of rage and relief swept through her.

“That’s…  I don’t know what to say, Julian.”

“Just tell me what you’re thinking.”

“What I’m thinking?” Shannon threw one hand up in the air, gesturing wildly with the rose. “I’m thinking that it’s ridiculous you made up this whole motivation about why I wanted to be with you out of thin air. I’m thinking you shouldn’t have waited a whole week before asking me about it.”

“I’m sorry-”

Shannon stamped her bare foot on the floor. Now that he had made her talk, all of her anxieties were rushing out, and she didn’t want to stop. Ridiculous - this whole situation was ridiculous.

“I’m thinking that you are an idiot and jerk for keeping me in suspense this whole time.”

Julian’s eyebrows knitted together in the middle of his forehead. It was obvious no girl had ever spoken to him like this before. But Shannon couldn’t stop herself. He had to know what she had done to him.

“I’m thinking that you’re possibly the dumbest man I’ve ever met, because who on earth would meet you and not fall immediately in love with you? It doesn’t matter whether you were playing guitar on stage in a packed concert or on a cardboard box in an alleyway!”

Shannon didn’t notice Julian’s fierce look of desire, or the way that he was slowly inching over the doorstep towards her. Her eyes were welling with tears of anger mixed with joy.

“And I’m thinking that you owe me a lot more than just one rose if you’re going to come back and ask me to open my heart back up again!”

Julian stepped forward fully, closing the door behind him. Shannon gasped as his arm reached out around her, pulling her close to him. She could smell his cologne, and when he bent his head to her ear she could hear her own heart beating fast against his chest.

“
What do I owe you?
”

***

Big Girl Going On Tour now available on Amazon!

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Big Girls
series is released!

One kind deed can change your life forever...

Brynn Tomlin could never afford to follow her heart. But when she sees a stranger shivering in the snow outside of the college library, an inexplicable urge leads her to buy him a hot cup of coffee. It's just a small act of kindness, a few words of conversation. Brynn should be focusing on her finals, after all, not on the man who looked up at her gratefully with piercing blue eyes.

He could have been anyone - a janitor on break, a graduate student, a bum. But the man standing outside in the cold turns out to be Dr. Eliot Herceg, one of the most brilliant minds in mathematics and heir to a fortune. After years of reclusive isolation, he now finds his heart awakening to the kind girl whose name he does not know.

Brynn has spent her life trying to forget her desires, and Eliot's deep wounds have taken nearly a decade to heal. After so much hurt, will either of them be able to open their hearts again?

Excerpt:

Before my mother died, she told me stories. I sat on her lap and listened to her spin golden fairy tales through the air. We never had much, but I didn't notice the cracks in our plaster walls when she talked about Cinderella putting on her crystal slippers and waltzing all night with Prince Charming.

"Once upon a time"...the stories always begin the same way, but from these beginnings my mother wove new tales that danced in all directions of the compass. She told me stories of castles and dragons, stories of men who flew above the clouds to reach the sun and gods who rained jealous fury upon their rivals. Stories of lovers whose passion rose above earthly desire and changed their fate to a different end than the world had meant for them. Stories of hope and of death.

None of those stories were true, but mine is.

Available now on
Amazon
!

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Sex is easy, but living is the bitch…and no one knows that better than Roger Vigor, a.k.a. Ax Stevenson. Following a stint in rehab after learning of his wife’s affair with his best friend, Roger finds himself negotiating the slippery path of recovery. To make matters worse, his girlfriend, Denise, is about to descend into a cock-fueled psychosis that will threaten the safety of every member of the Petty Thieves Tour.

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Fasten your seatbelts. It’s about to get bumpy!

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Aubrey Rose BIG GIRL Series:

Big Girl Backstage Pass - Book One in the Big Girl series

Big Girl Going On Tour - Book Two in the Big Girl series

Big Girl Rocking in the Sunshine - Book Three in the Big Girl series

Big Girl Playing in Paris – Book Four in the Big Girl series