Bill The Vampire - 01 (22 page)

It only took a second to push his still-twitching body off of me, but it was pretty much all over by then. I looked up to see the prostitute, correction:
pieces
of the prostitute, being flung over me. I sat up and caught a face full of her severed leg.

I had enough of being pummeled with body parts! I rolled to the side and managed to push myself to my feet, ready to take down whatever gang banger was closest to me. Turns out, it was hard to tell. There were plenty of body parts close by, but I wasn't entirely sure they were from the same person. A faint whimper caught my attention. I looked to see the last of my attackers have his head almost twisted completely around with a sickly snapping sound that made my wrist break from earlier seem much lamer in comparison. The mugger dropped, boneless, to the alley floor, very much dead.

“That was... well, there's no two ways about it. That was pretty pathetic,” said Ozymandias, stepping from the shadows.

“I took down one of them,” I lamely replied.

“Alas, two-hundred is not exactly an outstanding batting average.”

“What are you doing here?” I asked, trying to change the subject away from my less than impressive fighting prowess.

“Aside from saving you from an embarrassing beating?” he replied. “Seriously, you should have been able to take out attackers of this caliber without breaking a sweat. That aside, as I told you earlier, your reputation would be spreading after this weekend was through. I’ve heard that you've done a pretty good job of talking your way through things so far. However, talk only gets you so far amongst our kind.” He looked around at the carnage. “Congratulations on your first massacre! It shall not be your last.” He suddenly nodded his head to the side as if listening for something. “Now, if you'll excuse me. Try not to do anything silly like fall down and hurt yourself.”

And, with that, he turned and disappeared down the far side of the alley, almost too quickly for my eyes to follow. Damn, maybe he had a point about those espressos.

I was standing there, looking in the direction he had run and contemplating my next move, when I heard movement from the entrance of the alley. A few moments later, Night Razor came into view and immediately skidded to a stop.

“What the fuck?” he gasped, taking in the bloody scene before him.

Ozymandias had played things perfectly. Now
there
was a vampire who knew what he was doing. However, it would all be for naught if I didn't do my part. I composed myself internally as best as I could and started slowly walking toward Night Razor, licking the blood off my fingers as I did so. “Sorry,” I said as casually as I could, “I didn't leave you any leftovers.”

His eyes were wide with a mixture of surprise and disbelief. “How the hell…? Last I saw, you were getting your ass dragged out of that club by security.”

That's it? Thank god. He apparently didn't see the event leading up to that. It was time for a little embellishment.

“Some fucker got in my face and they jumped me when I started slapping him around,” I lied.

“But how did you...”

“The club was fun and all, but I really need prey a little more challenging than some teenage ravers. I figured you'd understand,” I smugly said. “So, what's next? I'm all warmed up now.”

He just stood there, glaring at me, so I decided there was one little bit of icing for this cake. I looked down at the camera sticking out of his pocket, “You did remember to tape this, right?”

Okay, so maybe I should have kept that last remark to myself. Either that, or I should have expected that I'd need to duck. Regardless, I caught one square on the chin from Night Razor, and, once again, found myself on my ass. I guess it was too much to hope that I'd make it through the entire evening without getting hit once. Well, okay, so far, this night, I'd gotten hit several times, but most of them had come from people other than Jeff. Come to think of it, though, maybe that was not something I should be bragging about. On the upside, I was still conscious. Guess my tolerance for beatings was getting better.

We stood there, glaring at each other for a few seconds (
okay, I was technically sitting
), and then Jeff seemed to think better of the ass whupping he was no doubt contemplating giving to me. While I'd love to fool myself into thinking that perhaps he had doubts of being able to take me out (
considering the scene of carnage he stumbled upon
), it appeared his reservations were more practical in nature, as he said,

“We need to get our asses away from this fucking mess before someone calls the cops.”

As I pulled myself to my feet, I had to grudgingly admit he did have a point. Subtle this was not. Instead of saying anything pithy that might end with my head smashed through a wall, I simply grunted my assent with his plan. Without another word, he turned and took off, full bore, down the alley at a pace that would have made an Olympic sprinter weep. Remembering that I wasn't exactly a slouch anymore, myself, I immediately took off after him at a similar pace. Not too shabby for someone who came in dead last in every race he ever ran during gym class.

Just a few minutes at this speed found us several blocks away. I'd definitely have to remember this. It was faster and cheaper than a cab, with the added benefit of not having to be yelled at in Arabic.

The place where Night Razor finally stopped was deep in shadow, several street lights in the area being inoperative. “Now it's your turn,” he said without turning to face me.

Oh, shit, this didn't sound good. I crouched down into a fighting stance (
or at least what years of Bruce Lee movies had taught me was a fighting stance
) and prepared myself for an attack. What I didn't prepare myself for was the torrent of water that hit me when Night Razor stepped aside. I was blasted off my feet, and, worse yet, fuck me, the water was freezing!

I rolled to the side out of the spray and, after slipping a few times on the wet concrete, got back up. Night Razor was standing there, grinning, holding the cap of the fire hydrant he had just ripped open. “There. Now you don't look like you just stepped out of a slaughterhouse,” he remarked.

Fucker! Although, again
,
he had a point. I hadn't realized that I looked like someone who had just run away from a murder scene (
which, oddly enough, was what had just happened
). Now I just looked like someone who had decided to take an impromptu dive into the Hudson. Oh, well, water dries better on clothes than blood, I suppose. That was assuming I didn't freeze to death first... oh, yeah, probably little chance of that happening.

“A little warning next time?” I growled.

“What fun would that be? Besides which,” his voice turned hard, “I think you've gotten plenty of warnings from me already.”

* * *

I made it back to the loft a short while later, still damp, but without further incident. Following my improvised street shower, Jeff had unceremoniously announced we were done, and then stalked off into the night. I didn't need a written invitation to know that his body language clearly said
don't follow me
. So, I didn't. It didn't really matter, anyway. I had both survived the night, as well as given him absolutely zero ammunition to use against me. All things considered, I had probably come out ahead of the curve. Didn't mean I was particularly happy about it, though.

I walked up the stairs and opened the door without bothering to knock. Truth be told, I was starting to consider it my place. Weird, huh? But I guess once you've been beaten, bloodied, and... oh, yeah...
killed
in a place, you start to develop an attachment to it. I walked in to find a few of the coven milling about and caught the ass end of a few conversations. Most of it seemed to be about me.

“… almost gutted Sally...”

“… fucking animal should be put down...”

“... he even be killed?”

“... lead us in the war against the feet...”

Most
of it, anyway. No fucking clue what that last one was about. I wasn't going to be further enlightened either, apparently. All talk ground to a halt as soon as I entered the room. It didn't matter much, as I wasn't exactly in the mood to be social. Part play-acting, and part being in an actual bad mood, I stopped in my tracks, made eye contact with them all, and simply said, “Get the fuck out.” Which they did.

Once the last one had left (
quickly, too, as I gave him a hungry snarl on his way out
), I checked the rest of the apartment for stragglers. While there was nobody hiding in the bathroom (
food or otherwise
), I did notice that the mess had already been cleaned up. Sally wasn't shitting me about the cleaning staff. I then checked the bedrooms. The first was empty (
and clean... thank god
). The door was shut on the second one. I tried the knob. It was unlocked, so I opened it. I found Sally lying in the bed. She was wearing pajamas and had a cold compress upon her head. Starlight was sitting by her side, spoon feeding her from a bowl of blood.

Upon seeing me, Starlight jumped to her feet, turning in my direction, and dumping the bowl of blood onto Sally's lap in the process. At least this time, Sally's eye roll wasn't entirely directed at me. However, she quickly composed himself and gave a little whimper as I approached. Starlight, in turn, stepped between me and the bed and bared her teeth in a snarl.

“You won't hurt her again, monster!” she yelled as if she were an extra in a bad b-movie. Now it was my turn to eye roll.

“Two for the price of one works just fine for me,” I said, taking a step forward. That seemed to deflate whatever bit of bravery she had in her. Starlight's mouth dropped open, and a look of fear crossed her face. She started breathing heavily, her large supple breasts heaving up and down with every breath, practically begging me to cradle them in my hands, and...

Oh, sorry. I did it again, didn't I? I mentally slapped myself back to reality and away from Starlight's inviting cleavage... sorry. Before they could mesmerize me again, I stepped to the side and pointed my thumb toward the door.

“Just get the fuck out of here.”

Whatever sisterly instinct Starlight might’ve had toward Sally evaporated at my giving her an out. She gave Sally a momentary look of pity, and then raced out past me. A second later, I heard the front door being used. As soon as that happened, Sally gave a sigh and started to get out of bed.

“I was just getting comfortable,” she complained.

“Milking it just a little bit, aren't we?”

“What? It's not every day one survives an attack by the legendary
Freewill
,” she teased. “So, how'd your hunting trip go? I see you still have your legs attached to you, so I'll assume it went better than planned.”

I filled her in on the club (
leaving out the part about my face and the bar becoming intimately acquainted
), the street thugs, and Ozymandias' subsequent slaughter of them. She nodded at that last part.

“Thought he might do something like that. Smart. It'll probably be on the news by tomorrow. Regardless of what Jeff says, the others will put two and two together.”

“You think?” I asked

“No doubt. Congratulations! You really are Dr. Death.”