Birds of a Feather (21 page)

If only he could go to White’s. Cards and conversation would distract him, but retreating to such a male bastion would expose his claims as the lies they were. No happily married man would leave his wife’s bed only three days after the wedding. Exposing the truth would diminish his status even further.

He had been right about the cubs. Three of them had already defected, loath to hang on the tails of a married man – at least he hoped it was his married state that had driven them off. More vexing were the speculative glances from people whose usual demeanor ranged from respect to awe. So far the rumors had turned no one against him, but their very existence tarnished his reputation. Society had long embraced the adage
where there is smoke, there must be fire.
He had recited it often enough himself that he could hardly complain now that it was being used against him.

Most of the tales originated with Lady Wicksfield, who swore that Joanna had deliberately trapped him and had callously abandoned Lady Harriet after destroying the girl’s chance to make a respectable match. The charges were so ludicrous that people merely laughed, but since they depicted him as inept, helpless, and stupid, he found them difficult to ignore.

He needed to devise a better defense…

But even his deteriorating reputation could not hold his thoughts tonight. They kept returning to the searing image of Reggie waltzing with Joanna. Faces alight. Intimate laughter.

The memory taunted him. She had been happy for that half hour. So different from her demeanor during their own set. Her eyes had probed behind his face, searching for something she could like.

She had never seen him as others did. Her voice echoed, reminding him that she no longer stammered with him because his opinion did not matter. The words had exposed his most secret fears, recalling all the other voices that had ridiculed him over the years:
You are merely a younger son… In the unlikely event I need your help, I will ask for it… Worthless… Failure… Incompetent… Fool…

He could have tolerated indifference, but she had seen beneath his carefree shell to the emptiness within. His one achievement in thirty-one years was a precarious social position that would likely crash around his feet before much longer. Reggie was his only real family. His parents disdained everything about him, making no effort to understand him, for he was merely a necessary spare in case Reggie failed them. His estate ran as well in his absence as when he was there. His life was built on fantasy – as Joanna had seen. Tonight she had again probed his core. And again found nothing of value.

The shock of their sudden marriage had worn off, leaving him blue-deviled but unable to envision any improvement. Lust was consuming him, yet every time she danced with Reggie, he could see sparks flash between them, hardening his aversion to touching her. He wanted her to look at him like that – carefree, happy, her warmth igniting passion in both of their hearts.

He savagely shoved the thought aside. Better to wish for the moon. But turning back was impossible, and continuing as they were was too bleak to contemplate. Somehow they must both set regret aside and address the future. Soon. Waltzing with her had made him frustratingly aware of her charms. The touch of her hand, the brush of her thigh…

He was rapidly losing his mind.

The first step was to talk. Time might mitigate her love for Reggie, but unless she hid her feelings in the meantime, gossip would claim a worse scandal. It didn’t matter that Reggie would never cuckold any man, let alone his brother. Rumors would arise that would make the current ones look benign, pounding the final nail in the coffin containing both their reputations.

You are such a fool, hissed the voice, raising new shudders. Why did you marry her, knowing how she felt?

He frowned. Had there been another solution? But he could think of nothing acceptable. Claiming that she was betrothed to Reggie would have been cowardly, especially since Reggie had already denied any interest in her. And Mrs. Drummond-Burrell would never have believed the truth.

If only he had allowed Reggie to care for Joanna that night! Everyone would be happier – except his mother. He sighed. She had been appalled enough as it was.

“How could you allow that hussy to manipulate you into marriage?” she had demanded. At least Joanna had been changing for dinner when Lady Glendale stormed into the house.

“You mistake the matter, madam,” he’d replied coldly, dragging her into the drawing room so she didn’t treat the staff to a scene. “As I informed you in my letter, the fault was entirely my own. After injuring her – quite by accident – I partially disrobed her in checking the extent of the damage. The appearance of impropriety was too stark to ignore. But Society believes this is a love match. I will not tolerate anyone claiming otherwise.”

“No one can possibly believe such fustian – especially given your unconscionable haste.”

He gritted his teeth, trying to forget her subsequent attack on Joanna’s character, her breeding, and his own intelligence. She refused to accept that an immediate wedding had dissipated the scandal even faster than he’d expected. If he had delayed, Lady Wicksfield’s tales would have fallen on fertile ground, allowing Society to build the story into the
on-dit
of the Season. The resulting suspicions would have followed them for years.

Of course, one reason behind his haste had been to keep his mother away from the ceremony. Without saying a word, she could freeze a room faster than anyone he knew, and invariably did so when her orders were ignored.

Which brought him to his next problem. They could not remain in this house. He had moved to Albany ten years ago to escape his mother’s scrutiny. Now there was even more need for privacy. So far, prudence had kept her silent. The marriage was a
fait accompli
, so any scandal would redound on the family. But sooner or later, she would ring a vicious peal over Joanna’s head. He could not subject his wife to such a tirade. She had done nothing to deserve it.

The admission hurt, for he had not treated her as an innocent. Instead of retiring to Meadowbanks, he had forced her to remain in town and face the gossip. Her eyes had often accused him of pushing her into Society to punish her. He should at least explain his reasoning. Leaving would revive gossip, undoing all his recent efforts. He would suffer more than she.

Arrogant. Selfish. Her voice echoed.

No!
Society’s respect might be false and empty, but it was all he had. He could not stand the pity of gentlemen who believed she had trapped him, or the disdain of ladies who thought he’d seduced her. His reputation was important. His position allowed him to help a great many people. Losing the good will of those who looked to him for advice and leadership would strip him of his only accomplishment.

Yet watching her face light up whenever Reggie appeared was equally intolerable. There had to be something that would earn her regard. Pouring himself a glass of brandy, he stared morosely into the lamp as the image of Joanna and Reggie flickered in its flame.

“My lord?” Joanna hesitated on the threshold.

“Come in.” Fate was offering that private chat he needed.

“Thank you.” She shut the door, then took her time about settling into a chair. “I wished to ask a favor, but I don’t quite know how to begin.”

Suspicion flared once more. Had she wed him because her father was in debt? Or a brother? He had not had time to investigate her family and suddenly realized that he knew nothing of her background beyond what his mother and Reggie had revealed. His mother’s information was entirely negative, but she had never been a reliable source. Reggie’s was entirely positive, but he was bedazzled. The truth probably lay somewhere between those extremes.

But the favor might have nothing to do with her family. Did she hope for an annulment so she could wed Reggie? Four days might have convinced her that a besotted husband was easier to control than a man already furious at fate.

His temper snapped. “You won’t get an annulment, so don’t bother asking for one. Nor will I send you off to the country. Flirting with Reggie will not change my mind, so you might as well quit. All it does is tarnish your reputation.”

“What are you saying?” Her face was stark white.

“Your behavior is unacceptable, madam. How can I convince Society that we are happily wed when you are warmer with him than with me?”

“Convincing them to believe a lie is impossible. Your eyes reveal the truth with every glance,” she charged. “Reggie is caring and generous, while you can barely utter a civil word. Frankly, his honest welcome has done more to gain my acceptance than your vaunted credit. Why should I not enjoy talking to a gentleman who has gone out of his way to help me?”

“I’m sure he has,” he said, hating his scathing tone but incapable of stopping it. Her charge stabbed pain into his very soul. “And he would gladly do more. I’ve seen the way he undresses you with his eyes – and so has everyone else.”

“Hateful man.” Tears shimmered on her lashes. “Nothing satisfies you, does it? Stripping me of my home, my job, and any choice over my future wasn’t enough. Now you would deprive me of my closest friend. How have you blinded the world to your selfishness?”

Remorse drove out anger, pain, and even his lingering regret. Only minutes after deciding that they needed a new start, he had reduced her to tears. His tirade was appalling, and too similar to those delivered by his parents.

She headed for the door, increasing his guilt.

“Forgive me, Joanna,” he begged, deliberately addressing her by her given name for the first time. “I am upset, but you are not to blame. May I get you a sherry?”

She narrowed her gaze, suspicious of his sudden affability. “No, thank you. I obviously arrived at an inconvenient time.”

“Sit down. Please,” he added. “You must be as unsettled as I am.” The admission surprised him, for he never bared his inner feelings. But she accepted a chair.

“This is not the first time you have castigated me,” she said on a long sigh. “I suppose I shall grow accustomed to it.”

“I hope not!” Her eyes widened at his tone. “I despise my parents’ habit of criticizing me without verifying their charges.”

“I see,” she said, though he could hear her uncertainty.

“You wished a favor.” He set his suspicions aside.
Find out the facts
, his conscience demanded. “Have I overlooked one of your needs?”

“Never!” Her shock was clear.

“Is it your family?”

“Of course not!”

“Again I must apologize. Many have begged me for favors, some even resorting to threats. Since I cannot imagine you are like those people, suppose you just explain the problem.”

“It’s Harriet. I promised to see her settled this Season and cannot honorably renege.”

“A commendable attitude.”

She relaxed fractionally. “She is in love with Mr. Wethersby, and he with her, but her mother has barred the door to him. Now that Lady Wicksfield has finally admitted that Reggie is not interested, she is determined to accept Almont. But he will make Harriet miserable. Reggie told me about his other family.” She blushed.

“Then why not pass that information to Lady Wicksfield?”

“I have – several times – but she doesn’t care. All she wants is a suitor who has the power and fortune to help Lord Wicksfield out of his current morass. Wethersby lacks both.”

He frowned. “You had best start at the beginning, Joanna.”

“I suppose so.” She sighed. “A few months ago, Wicksfield lost most of his fortune in a bad investment. He needs money to modernize Wicksfield Manor if he is to recoup. He could sell the town house, but pride prevents him from admitting his poor judgment to Society.”

“Not an uncommon failing,” he said dryly.

“True. He preferred to seek a husband for Harriet who could either convince a bank to grant him a loan – they have already turned him down – or who would make the loan himself. He hired me to chaperon her, believing that I would keep his affairs secret.”

“Which you have,” he murmured when her face twisted with guilt.

She shuddered, but continued. “He also needed someone to look after his family. Harriet is young, and Lady Wicksfield is too irresponsible to watch her. He even put me in charge of their funds to prevent Lady Wicksfield from running up further debts. And he ordered me to find a husband Harriet could be happy with – he has no wish to sacrifice his daughter, you understand.”

“So he hoped that she would find a wealthy lord who would also suit her. Why did he not come to town himself?”

“He could not spare the time. He has thrown himself into agricultural reform. But his steward needs constant supervision to carry out some of the more controversial changes.”

“He must think highly of your sense.”

“I would not go that far. We had never met before.”

“What?”

“You cannot believe he would have hired me had he understood my penchant for walking into trouble – a problem familiar to everyone who has ever seen me.” Their eyes met in humorous communion that recalled their earliest meetings and relaxed them both. “He is Mama’s cousin. They grew up together, and he always admired her sense, so he believed her claim that I might suit his needs. I had just accepted a position as a governess, but he convinced my employer to hold the post until July on grounds that my visit to London would prove invaluable to his daughters.”

“How did he expect you to screen suitors without any contacts in Society?”

“He didn’t say. Fortunately, Reggie has proved most helpful, investigating everyone in Harriet’s court. I would have been lost without his help.”

“So why didn’t he help you this time?” He was holding his breath.

“I didn’t ask. He lacks your credit.”

“For what? Forcing Wicksfield to accept Wethersby? I thought you said he wanted Lady Harriet’s happiness.”

“It is not that simple.” She sighed. “Lady Wicksfield is now chaperoning Harriet. I doubt she informed Wicksfield of my departure, despite her vow to ruin me.” She bit her lip. “With everything that has happened, I forgot to do so myself.”