Bittersweet (21 page)

Senior year arrived and Edy watched the Pradhans put bars on Hassan’s window. His keys to the Phelps house were confiscated and his hours were rigidly monitored. With autumn, they plunged into football and SATs. They spent available moments in study hall and at her house vetting colleges and comparing lists. The offensive needs of southern squads were held up against dance programs and their value. They slashed a list of twenty down to twelve and twelve down to nine, before Hassan admitted to Edy that he wanted Lawrence at school with him.

After he conferred with his best friend, the list slashed from nine down to five. They ranked the colleges by favorites via arguing and waited for admission results to come in.

Edy’s mother came to visit and she asked about what happened on the stairwell. When Edy refused to flesh out her original tale, her mother tried out an alternate version of. “She found you and Hassan together and didn’t like what she saw. A bit of shouting and arm swinging followed before Rani helped you down the stairs.” She flashed hot in naked agitation when Edy wouldn’t agree. “Well, if you change your mind and decide to tell the truth, I’ll support you.”

When the admissions letter came back alongside the scholarship offers, Lawrence held his press conference with his parents flanking him. Both parents wore Georgia pins and sat straight with proud grins.

He’d pulled out a simple white fitted cap turned backwards so the logo wouldn’t show.

“This fall,” Lawrence had said, “I'll be taking my talents to Louisiana State University.” He pulled his cap on, amidst the mania of flashing lights.

The next day, Hassan committed to LSU as well.

While Edy’s process wasn’t so action packed, she had excitement nonetheless. She’d earned a dance scholarship to LSU on condition that she maintains performance roles at the school. For the first time in Edy’s life, she would
have
to dance.  

 More and more, Edy’s thoughts turned to her grandparents in Kentucky. More specifically, she thought of her grandmother and her ballerina’s dream. With Rani rendered reclusive, absent from her life, Edy found herself without a friend to talk art.

The first time she called her grandmother, she hung up when the phone rang. A week later, Edy tried again and got her. They talked chicken farming and auras, Kentucky football and shotguns.

There was a new model she wanted to grab.

Eventually, Edy worked her way up to sharing the news—her and Hassan’s news.

“I’m glad you’ve seen your way to sense,” her grandmother said. “And decided to do what makes you happy.”

Caught off guard by the simple pleasure of being congratulated, Edy found her vision blurring and she cursed herself for weakness. Then she thought better, she knew better, because she’d lived better and learned.

Weakness was lack of expression; an inability to share emotion. Her love had been muted once; she’d felt powerless, worthless because of it. Strength had with love, self love and a love of others. Love brought with it forgiveness, as she’d done for Rani.

She was a dream chaser, her grandmother said and Edy supposed she qualified as one. She’d embraced her relationship with Hassan and her obsession with dance. Both came to her at supreme costs, the bitter with the sweet. Her parents gave no financial support for her ‘education of leisure’ and her relationship with Rani was shattered. Only Ali showed promise.

He hadn’t called her ‘princess’ in a while, but he didn’t stop calling altogether. Not when he saw her in the yard, checking mail, or on the street. No, Ali hadn’t stopped calling, even when Edy and Hassan moved to Louisiana.

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Thank you to all my readers; your enthusiasm overwhelms me. Thanks to my team of doctors, my parents, and my husband. Without their daily support during difficult times,
Bittersweet
wouldn’t have been possible. Every day gets a little better. Big thanks to three rock star authors: Lashanta Charles, Allison M. Dickson, and Brynette L. Turner. Please love and support these women. They’re thoughtful and talented. Finally, did I thank my fans? I really do love you!

Shewanda Pugh debuted as an adult contemporary romance author in 2012 with the
Crimson Footprints
series. Shortlisted for the AAMBC Reader's Choice Award, the National Black Book Festival's Best New Author Award, and the prestigious Rone Award for Contemporary Fiction in 2012 and 2013, she has an MA in Writing from Nova Southeastern University and a BA in Political Science from Alabama A&M. Though a native of Boston, MA, she now lives in Miami, FL, where she can soak up sunrays without fear of shivering.

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