Bittersweet (22 page)

“I never was a Boy Scout.”

The Boy Scout way was overrated. The flames were roaring within minutes. It would’ve taken my dad a half hour to get the same result. We sat close together, roasting marshmallows.

“Can I ask you something?” I said.

“Shoot.”

“Why do you have a job at Haunted Valley if your family has so much money?”

“Mom and Dad are young, I won’t inherit their money for forty years or more. Right now, I pay for my own car and insurance. I just graduated from college so I’ll move out when I start teaching in the fall. They paid for my schooling, but they made me pay my living expenses. I worked at Haunted Valley for most of it. I think Grant’s disappointed that I didn’t go into marketing. But I love teaching.”

“What will you teach?”

“High school English. Paris is pissed because I’ll be a teacher at his school next year.”

“Do you have any idea how weird that is for me?”

“What?”

“I’m still in high school. If I went to that school, you’d be my teacher.”

He was quiet for a minute.

“Savannah, what are we going to do when you move back to Albert Lea?”

I knew what he was asking.

“I don’t know. I don’t really want to think about that right now. I’m considering staying here to finish my senior year. I like living with Grant and I could work through Halloween at Haunted Valley.”

“That would make me very happy.”

Back in the RV, I dug through my backpack for my PJs while Dallas took a shower to wash off the bug spray. Of course he’d packed the short sleeveless nightgown my aunt bought me last Christmas. I’d never actually worn it because it wasn’t that comfortable. Sexy though.

Dallas stepped out of the bathroom and my breath caught. Holy hotness. His hair was still wet and small droplets ran down his back. He wore only his underwear, the tight boxers you see J Crew models wearing. He could’ve passed for one of them.

I took a couple of deep breaths and pretended like his appearance had no effect on me. I dug in my bag for underwear. Only thongs. Mostly black ones.

“You seriously packed only these pajamas?”

“You didn’t say which ones I had to pack, just that I had to pack some.”

He leaned over me like he was going to give me a kiss, but pulled back.

“You smell like bug spray and smoke. I’ll kiss you when you get out of the shower.”

In the shower, my mantra was the same. I promised. No sex. I promised. No sex. I promised. No sex. This was going to be so hard. I scrubbed shampoo into my hair and tried not to think about those gorgeous abs. Would Dallas really respect my decision? What if I wavered? I’d never really wanted any of these things with anyone else before. I rinsed the shampoo out and stepped out of the shower, toweling off.

As I dressed I could feel anxiety rising up from my stomach. I shivered. Things were always so easy with Dallas. But now I felt self-conscious. What if I did something wrong?

I took three deep breaths and cracked open the door.

Dallas was sprawled out on the bed, reading a book. I climbed in next to him. The bed really was small, not much bigger than a twin.

He rolled over and pulled me close, sniffing my hair.

“Much better. I like camping but I don’t like the smells it brings.”

“You would never survive camping with my family. We camp in the woods with no showers or bathroom. Just a tent and a sleeping bag.”

“I won’t go camping with your family. No way could I survive without my shower.”

“Wimp.” This wasn’t so hard. I shouldn’t have been worried. But still. I was about to spend the night with a guy for the first time.
“Definitely. But I’m your wimp, so that’s okay.”

He smiled at me and my heart fluttered. I kissed him, starting something I wasn’t sure I could finish.

He kissed me back and his hand slid down my back, coming to rest on my butt. My mind started going off in alarm.
Attention. Incredibly hot half-naked man has his hand on your ass. You like this. This will not end well.

I told my brain to shut up and pushed myself closer to him. We climbed under the covers and I laid my head on his bare chest.

“I love you,” I said.

“I worship you,” he replied. He had his arm around me and was gently rubbing the small of my back. I traced the contours of his abs.

He sighed.

“That feels nice.”

“Mmhm,” I replied.

We were quiet for a while and eventually his breathing became slow and deep. His hand stopped moving and I was actually disappointed things didn’t go further than they did. Perhaps my warning to him had been too strong. I couldn’t quite believe that I was sleeping here with him.

I allowed myself to fantasize about the future. We would live up here and his mom would be a doting grandmother to our three kids. The future. I spent so much effort trying to forget about the past that I never even gave a thought to the future. I didn’t know where I wanted to go to college or what I wanted to study. Here though, in his arms, I knew one thing I wanted in my future and his name was Dallas.

Funny how one person changed so many things in my life. I hadn’t really thought about staying here for my senior year, but it made sense. I had no desire to go back to Albert Lea. Candie was no longer my friend. What good would it do to go home?

I wore a magenta bikini top and the shortest denim shorts I owned.

“Are you sure this is okay? I should probably put a shirt on.” I unzipped my backpack.

Dallas pecked me on the lips and it was enough to distract me from looking for the said shirt.

“Nonsense, you look hot. We don’t have to hike that far. Then we’ll be in the water.”

“Why does everything involve water with you?” Someday, Dallas and I were going to have to take a trip to a desert or something. Minnesota was altogether too wet for me.

“I know the lake was kind of a disaster. Well, not a total disaster, I got the best kiss of my life out of it, but this is different. The water won’t even be over your head. I promise you will like this.”

“I’m not so crazy about your promises.”

We’d arrived in Apostle Islands a few hours before. We took the RV on a ferry out to the main island, then we found our camping spot, which was once again right on the water. Then we changed and drove to a different beach where he wanted to explore sea caves, which sounded scary as hell to me, but he swore they were cool and safe.

Under the trees the air was almost cool. Dallas walked behind me, probably to look at my ass, but I didn’t mind. We walked for about fifteen minutes before arriving at a small cliff. Down below, there were several kayaks and people swimming. The water didn’t seem deep at all.

“See? Safe.”

“Yeah, but what’s so cool about it?”

“You’ll see. Put your ears in your backpack.”

I smiled at him, put my “ears” in a small plastic bag and shoved them in the backpack. I slid off my shorts and took off my shoes as well. I knew there wasn’t anything to be scared of, but my stomach still knotted at the thought of going into the water.

Dallas took my hand and led me down a natural stone stairway. I might not like water, but I loved climbing rocks. We walked into the lake. The water was nice, warmer than I expected it to be. He walked backwards, looking directly at me so I could hear him.

“Don’t look behind you yet. Walk out here a little ways first.”

“Ooookaaaay, why?”

“You’ll see. Trust me. You gotta work on that.”

“What, my trust?”

“Yeah.”

He did try to drown me, so I was totally justified in not trusting him.

Finally, he motioned for me to turn around.

I gasped. The entire cliff was carved out into a series of caves. The brown rock curved to form coves large enough for the kayaks to go in one side and come out a different one.

“That is amazing. Can we go inside of them?”

“That’s why we’re here.”

The caves were wide and squat, more like cutouts than caves. We walked into one, and Dallas wrapped his arm around me and kissed me deeply.

I pulled away a little bit. “People.”

He shrugged. “So, I don’t really care. I can’t keep my hands off you and I don’t plan on trying.”

I waded for a while, and Dallas swam and teased the kayakers. The women ate him up. One guy nearly hit Dallas over the head with the paddle after he flirted with the guy’s wife for too long. Truthfully, I didn’t worry about it. It was just his personality.

The caves were amazing and I was a little sad to leave that night.

Back in the RV, I put on a t-shirt and we drove into town. We had dinner at a little café with only outdoor seating. The fish was to die for. After that we found a chocolate shop. It was sweet that Dallas thought to bring me there, but it didn’t measure up to the European stuff I was used to. By the time we got back it was already dark.

Dallas grabbed a blanket and we lay on the beach, admiring the infinite number of stars. It wasn’t long before we were kissing again. He laid me back and slid his hand up my shirt. My skin tingled where he touched me.

“This isn’t exactly very private. Maybe we should go back to the camper,” I said.

“Are you sure?” I could hear the hope in his voice, and I knew what he was asking. I nodded, even though I wasn’t sure of anything at all.

He gathered up the blanket and pulled me into the RV so fast that I didn’t even have time to think about it. He dropped the blanket and kissed me all the way to the bed. Before I knew it, I was naked and he was on top of me and I wanted what he wanted and then I remembered. Of course, I had to remember.

Five years ago. I promised. And Dad promised. He kept his promises and I needed to keep mine.

“Dallas, wait.”

He leaned his forehead against mine, his breathing fast and shallow.

“What?”

I scooted back a little.

“I can’t do this, I’m sorry.”

“Yes, you can. You want this.”

“Whether I want this or not doesn’t matter. I still can’t.”

“Please.” His voice was pleading.

“No.”

I slid out from under him and searched for my clothes.

“You prance around all day, wearing next to nothing. You’re all over me, and then suddenly you don’t want this? I thought you loved me. Isn’t that what people in love do?”

Tears welled up in my eyes. His face twisted into a grimace. I didn’t think it was possible for Dallas to look ugly.

“No. People who are in love wait until they are both ready. I’m not.”

On with the shorts and a t-shirt. Screw the bra.

“You said you were. I asked if you were sure, and you said yes. Do you have any idea what you are doing to me? You’re a fucking tease.”

I stormed out of the camper and slammed the door. Down by the beach I sat down, pulling my knees to my chest, and stared up at the sky.

Dad, I know you are up there somewhere. Did you know I’d run into this problem? Is that why you made me promise?

I couldn’t believe Dallas would do that to me. I knew he had a past, but I’d never believed him to be pushy. He acted like such an ass.

Minutes later, the door to the camper creaked open and slammed shut again. Dallas approached me, but I didn’t move. He squatted down in front of me and took my hands. I pulled them back.

“Don’t touch me.”

He nodded. “Fair enough. I’m sorry. I was completely and entirely out of line.”

“You still can’t touch me.”

He sat next to me, a little too close. I scooted away. He didn’t try to close the gap.

“You have no idea how badly I wanted—want—you. Not just for sex. I want all of you in every way possible. I got carried away. I’m not used to being told no. I was angry and frustrated, and I know that’s no excuse, but I didn’t respect you and I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

“Like that’s going to change those awful things you said.”