Black Falcon: Complete Series Collection (120 page)

I
f I keep pacing back and forth like this, I’m going to wear off the gray paint on the porch floor. It’s hard to recall a time when I’ve felt this nervous. Trip and the guys were already in Kentucky when I talked to my brother yesterday, so they were all game for driving out to Serenity today. Now is my time to prove to the band that I’m clearheaded and worthy of their trust again. I hope they can see that I’ve changed in the weeks that I’ve been here and welcome me back into the fold, without the crazy tension we had before.

The hum of an approaching engine catches my ear and my body stills as I stare intently at the winding driveway. A blue minivan pulls into view, and I laugh. Never in all my years did I ever expect Riff to be the guy who cruises around in one of those soccer mom mobiles.

My palms begin to sweat as the van parks, and I know it’s time to face the guys. Noel hops out of the passenger seat first, Trip following a close second through the sliding side door in the back. Riff exits last.

Riff’s extra tall Mohawk, tattoos, and lip ring makes the whole minivan situation even more comical. It so doesn’t fit the tough guy persona he’d always portrayed to the world until he married Aubrey.

I make my way off the porch so I can get a better look at Riff’s vehicle.

“Nice ride,” I tell him, a smirk on my face as I clasp my hand with his and give him a quick chest bump, and then do the same with Noel and my brother.

Riff’s lips twist like he’s doing his best to fight back a smile. “Shut it, fucker. It’s practical.”

I roll my eyes. “Now you sound like Aubrey. Man, does she have you whipped.”

“Ha!” A sarcastic laugh bubbles out of his throat. “You just wait. Your time’s coming.”

I rub the back of my neck and stay quiet, knowing that my brother has probably told them about my situation with Frannie.

“Yeah, that’s right. No more smart-ass jokes now I’ve brought up the hot doctor lady,” Riff teases. “We know all about that shit, but don’t worry, we won’t let it slip. Trip already told us it’s a secret because she works here.”

I nod my head as heat floods my cheeks.

“Pretty soon you’ll be driving one of these bad boys.” Riff jerks his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of his vehicle, and then points his gaze in my brother’s direction. “Both of you.”

Trip throws his hands in the air, palms up, in protest. “Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. There’s no way in hell I’ll ever be driving a fucking mom mobile. That shit’s lame.”

“It’s going to be funny to see them both eat those words when they have kids.” Noel laughs as he teams up with Riff. “They have no idea what they’re in for.”

Riff folds his tattooed arms over his chest. “Oh yeah.”

Trip shakes his head. “Nuh-uh. Not this guy. Even when Holly and I start making babies, I’ll still have a sweet-ass ride. My girl is a Mustang fanatic. There’s no way she’ll be caught dead driving one of those.”

Noel and Riff exchange a knowing glance before both of them chuckle.

“Keep telling yourself that, dude.” Noel smiles and then his gaze flits over to me for a brief moment before returning to my twin. “Your brother is about to be Team Dad soon, and he’ll tell you the same thing, so you might as well get prepared because it’s going to happen.”

Before we have a chance to say anything else, the screen door shuts behind us and we all turn and face the porch. Frannie stands there, watching us, and she’s never looked more beautiful. Her dark hair falls in long waves over her shoulders and the black skirt and blue top she wears only bring out the blue in her eyes even more. She smiles warmly, and I can’t pull my gaze away from the absolute perfection before me.

“Damn,” Trip says next to me. “
That’s
the hot doctor lady? She’s fine.”

I jam my elbow into his ribs, and he grunts. I turn to Noel and Riff. “Guys, this is Dr. Francine Mead. She’s my addiction therapist.”

Frannie walks down the steps carefully in her heels. “Hello, gentlemen.”

I walk over and take her hand, helping her off the last step. My fingers linger against her skin a little too long, but it’s hard not to touch her. Keeping how I feel about her secret is so—fucking—difficult. I wish I could shout it from the rooftops, but I know doing that will cause problems for her, so I force all my feelings to stay locked up inside.

I quickly introduce her to all the guys, each of them nothing but respectful as they shake her hand. A few years ago, they would’ve competed to catch her eye and steal her away from me, but now that they’ve all settled down, they only have eyes for their respective woman.

“I’m so glad you could all make it out. When Tyke told me he’d invited all of you to sit down and talk, I couldn’t have been happier. He’s made some real progress with his addiction, and I think it’s very important that he be very open with all of you so that you can support him through his recovery. He’s going to need your support, as this will be an ongoing struggle to stay clean for the rest of his life,” Frannie tells them.

If I were the old me, I would’ve denied everything that she’s saying, but I know now that I
do
have an addiction and that it’s impossible to deal with things alone. I’ll need the guys’ support if I’m going to succeed in taking control of my life.

“I know you all have crazy schedules, so if you gentlemen will follow me, we’ll get our group session started,” Frannie instructs the guys, before turning and heading back toward the main house.

When the guys enter into the place that’s been my home for the better part of the last two months, Trip lets out a low whistle. “Damn, the brochures on this place weren’t fucking kidding. This is a palace.”

“It hasn’t been too bad staying here,” I say as I stand beside my brother.

Trip’s head turns in my direction, and there’s a smart-ass grin all over his face. “I bet.”

He doesn’t elaborate, but I know exactly how my twin thinks. In his mind, I’ve been fucking the hot doctor lady all over this fancy place, but what he doesn’t know is how god-awful the days I spent detoxing were. That was the worst experience I’ve ever lived through, and the biggest wake-up call I’ve ever received. Not only did this place give me the woman that I’m in love with, but a fucking eye-opener, too—showing me just how fucked up I was, and that I need to change.

Frannie leads us to her office and pushes the door open. Two folding chairs have been brought into the space across from the couch.

“Have a seat, gentlemen. Tyke,” she turns to me, “you might want to grab your guitar. Playing a song may help you break the ice.”

I nod. “That’s a great idea. I’ll be right back.” I lean in to kiss her cheek, but she presses a hand against my chest, and I suddenly remember that I’m not allowed. “Sorry.”

She smiles. “Soon, we won’t have to worry about all that. We’ll leave here together, and you can kiss me any time you want.”

“You’ve finally decided to give us a real go?” I waggle my eyebrows. “That’ll be nice.”

“Indeed,” she purrs. “I’ve decided that I can’t give you up.” She shrugs. “I’m addicted to you now.”

I smile. “I’ll be your vice any time, babe.”

Frannie laughs. “Hurry back. I’ll get the guys all settled in.”

After rushing up to my room and grabbing my baby from the corner, I hurry back to Frannie’s office.

Around the corner, I can hear Riff’s voice drift into the hallway. “Do you think it’s too soon for Tyke to come back on tour with us? Is he ready?”

“Tyke has done a one-eighty since he’s been here. He’s clearheaded and seems focused. One of his biggest priorities has been working on new songs for the next album. He’s worked very hard to prove not only to all of you, but to himself, that he’s ready. I think as long as he maintains that drive to succeed and stays away from any outside factors that may tempt him to use again, he’ll do very well,” Frannie tells the guys.

Hearing what she thinks of me without her knowing I’m listening makes me smile. I love that she believes in me.

“I think Tyke’s biggest challenge will be himself. He lets everything get in his head and convinces himself that bad shit’s going to happen. He’s been that way since we were kids,” Trip chimes in.

“He’s well aware of that problem, too, and he’s working hard to find other outlets for his anxiety—music being one of them,” Frannie says.

“And let’s not forget Gabby. We have a few more shows left with Sex Arsenal on this tour. Once he’s back, she’ll be trying to get her hooks into him again,” Noel adds.

“I don’t think that chick will be an issue anymore. He’s got hot doctor lady now,” Trip counters.

“Mr. Douglas, please call me Frannie,” my girl corrects my brother, and it makes me smile.

“No way. Hot doctor lady fits you so much better.” He laughs.

Noel clears his throat. “I think you better call her Frannie. Holly will chop off your nuts if you keep calling another woman hot.”

All the guys laugh.

“Holly loves my nuts too much to hurt them,” Trip jokes. “Besides, she’s going to want kids someday and keep up with all you assholes popping ’em out left, right, and center. I have to tell you, though, I’m excited to be an uncle. I’m going to have fun spoiling that kid.”

“That’s so sweet of you, Mr. Douglas.”

“Frannie, please just call me Trip. We’re family now, right?”

“Okay,” she replies.

It hits me. I can really picture this happening—a future with Frannie. I can see her interacting with Trip and the guys, and I know she’ll get along with Lanie, Aubrey, and Holly. Frannie fits into my world perfectly.

I take a deep breath and push open the door. All eyes are on me, and it’s suddenly very quiet in the room. Pressure crushes down on me as I take a seat on the couch next to the chair Frannie’s sitting in, just like when we’re in a session. I need to explain to these guys how I feel, and like Frannie says, the best way to do that is through music.

I adjust the guitar on my knee. “Since I’ve been in therapy with Frannie, she’s helped me open up about my feelings though song. She’s had me write down songs that express the way I feel at different points through my journey here. When I was going through my playlists, I found an old The Tony Rich Project song that really resonated with me. It’s called ‘Nobody Knows,’ and it talks about a guy who feels so much pain inside but keeps it completely to himself, shutting everyone else out. That’s exactly what I’ve done for the last year. I pushed you all away. I let the worry about Black Falcon falling apart eat at me so much that I had to find a way to keep myself from going crazy. I turned to prescription drugs, and when that was no longer enough, I used whatever I could get my hands on to go with it.”

I strum the opening chords of the song and start to sing the lyrics. It’s hard to admit so openly just how lonely I felt, so I close my eyes as I let the emotion pour out of me through the words.

When I’m finished, I take a deep breath and open my eyes to meet all of their gazes. I want them to see me—to know I’m clearheaded and one-hundred-percent dedicated to this band again.

“I convinced myself that the band no longer mattered to you guys. All I saw was you had wives and girlfriends now and your priorities changed. Black Falcon was no longer the number one thing in your life like it was mine. I didn’t understand what you guys were going through but now, I completely get it. Since meeting Frannie, she’s made me understand that you can love two things: music and your woman. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too, Tyke,” Noel says. “I’m sorry that we made you feel that way. Next time come talk to us before going off the deep end.”

“Yeah, man, we’ll understand. We won’t know you’re feeling left out or anxious if you don’t tell us how you feel,” Riff adds. “That’s what we’re here for, to help each other in rough times.”

I nod while relief washes through me that we’re finally getting everything out on the table. “I swear there will be no more drama from me. I fucked up. I know that now, and all I can do is say that I’m sorry, and that I
will
work hard, every day, to stay clean and focused.”

“We know you will, man, and we’re all here to support you—and kick your ass if you start to fuck up again.” Trip holds his fist out for me to bump. “We’re brothers.” He glances at Riff and Noel, who nod in agreement. “All of us. We’ve got each other’s backs. Always. That’s what makes us the greatest fucking rock band on this planet.”

I pound my knuckles into his and wipe away the tears that have fallen down my face. “I love all of you guys.”

I sniff and try to regain my composure as I turn in Frannie’s direction and place my hand on her knee. “I especially love this lady right here. I’ll never be able to thank her enough for showing me how to open up, and letting me see that sharing my feelings is okay.”

She places her small, warm hand on mine, and she smiles. “I love you, too.”

Finally, after struggling for the last few years, I feel at peace, and the nagging thoughts of doom are the furthest thing from my mind because, surely, nothing this good is bound to fall through. Everything in my life seems to be falling into place.

F
rannie Tomorrow is the day the blackmailer will be expecting their two-million-dollar payment. Tyke and I have both come to the conclusion that we aren’t paying the money, so it’s inevitable that we will be outed.

Deciding to go on the road with Tyke is a huge deal. I’ll essentially be leaving everything I’ve worked so hard for behind, but I’ve decided I would like to try my hand at helping the less fortunate with their addictions. I think helping people who have absolutely nothing will be a better way of dedicating my time. I’d even love to find a place where I could simply volunteer my time.

I’m focusing on the letter of resignation I’ve been working on for the past twenty minutes on my laptop when a knock on my office door startles me. “Come in.”

Wayne strolls in, looking impeccable as ever in his pressed suit and matching graying hair. “I don’t mean to disturb you, but Timothy is about to start doing random room inspections while Randall is leading a group activity outside, and I would like you to assist him so it can go faster.”