Blackbird (14 page)

She rubbed her eyebrows with her fingers, feeling
the onset of headache coming.

“I don’t know, Dave. What you said last night
about women and sports just doesn’t sit right with me. If I want to go surfing,
then that’s what I’m going to do.”

“Okay, if that’s what you want.”

“It is.”

“Are we still together? I mean, last night you
didn’t-?”

“No, Dave. I didn’t do anything. I went out and
had fun. Yes we are still together.” She watched his shoulders relax. “But I’m
still mad about what you said. I’m my own person, and I won’t be controlled by
anyone.”

She didn’t want him to misunderstand anything she
was trying to tell him, that’s why she said it with extreme certainty. She was
her own person.
Independent and strong.
She didn’t
want someone dictating her life.

“Okay.” He nodded in reply.

“Good, now I need a shower,” she said, stepping
out of her undies and taking off her bra.

“Can I join you?”

Truthfully she didn’t really want him to join her.
She wanted to be alone to think. Somehow she couldn’t help but wonder if his
change of attitude was only because she was undressing herself for a shower.
She hadn’t intended on him watching her undress, but she knew how easily a
man’s mind could change with the possibility of sex involved. That made her
uneasy. Were his thoughts clouded when he agreed not to control her?

She knew deep down that this wasn’t going to be
the last time she was going to see controlling Dave. It was a side of him that
she had barely noticed before, but now she was aware of it, she remembered
little acts of dominance and controlling that she had taken no notice of.

Would that side of him impact their relationship?

She turned the taps on and turned to him,
expecting to see him still dressed. Instead he was already half naked.

His body was beautiful, clean and unmarked, unlike
Nate’s. Nate’s body was also beautifully sculptured, but was marked, marked
with scars and stories.
Stories of adventure, hurt, betrayal,
heartache and love.
His body was an art piece, a gorgeous, sexy art
piece.

But she couldn’t compare the two. She wouldn’t
compare them.

 “Come on, then,” she said, winking.

Dave grinned and dropped his briefs at lightning
speed, leaving him naked in all his glory.

He stepped forward, and wrapped his arms around
her, claiming her lips.

***

Hot, sexy, shower sex would
normally have had Claire feeling weak at the knees at the thought, but not this
time.

She wanted to blame her hangover or their fight,
but she knew it was something more. They’d been so close in the shower to
having sex, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Instead she’d made up a
lame excuse and left Dave in the shower, hard as a rock.

She tried willing her body to want it, to want to
be with Dave, but she couldn’t. Whatever was wrong with her, it made her not
want to be with him intimately. It was like her mind was telling her to be with
Dave, to love him and kiss him fiercely, to lose herself with him, but her body
said no. She couldn’t get the thought out of head the next few hours at work
that day, until her lunch break.

Her weekend job was at a local video store. It
wasn’t the best pay, but it was enough for her until she found a full time job
next now that she had finished Uni. She quickly texted Dave on her break,
letting him
know
she was coming around to his place
after work.

After this weekend they needed some quality time
together.

Her phone beeped with a message. She thought it
was Dave replying to her, but then she saw Nate’s name come across the screen.

N- Hey! What you up to tomorrow morning? The
swell is picking up, should be awesome for a surf xo

 Claire quickly replied,

C- No plans, but would love to go for a surf!

She hesitated for a moment. Nate had ended his
text message with a xo. Should she do it also? She did it with all her friends,
but Nate was different.

She clicked send, deciding against the xo so it
wouldn’t send any conflicting messages.

N- Cool, pick me up at 6 in the morning?

C- Sure, no worries.

N- Thanks! Sorry to be a pain, not being able
to drive sucks.

C- You’ll be able to drive again before you
know it, and then you can drive me around everywhere!

N- Can’t wait, you’ll love my motorbike :)

C- You drive a motorbike?!

N- Of course I do! Don’t all bad boys? ;)

Claire shook her head in disbelief. Of course Nate
owned a motorbike.

C- Aren’t you worried you’ll hurt yourself
again?

N- Of course I’m worried, but it’s not going
to stop me. My life is different now. I won’t make the same mistakes again, but
I’m still going to take chances. What’s life without a bit of excitement and
thrill?

C- Just make sure you drive safely then, and
wear a helmet.

N- Yes, Mum!

C- I’m serious! I don’t want to see you hurt
again.

N- Does Claire Green care about my safety and
welfare?

C- Of course I care about you, Nate. I’ve
always cared about you.

N- :)

Claire rolled her eyes. Was it so hard to believe
that she cared about him, as a friend?

C- I’ve got to get back to work, my break’s
nearly over.

N- Are you working today? Where at?

C- Yeah I work some weekends at a video store.

N- Which one?

C- What, so you can stalk me?

N- Maybe ;)

C- I’m not telling you then :)

N- Fine, but I have ways of finding out.

C- Sure… Bye, Nate

N- Bye, Claire xo

Just as she was putting her phone in her bag she
heard it beep and saw a message from Dave.

D- Hey, babe. Sorry I’ve got plans with some
of the guys from work this
arvo,
can I see you
tomorrow after I finish work?

C- Sure xo

D- Great, I’ll message you then xo.

So much for some quality time together,
she
thought.

A couple hours later, she was nearing the end of her
shift when the last person she expected walked through the door. Nate.

She stared at him speechless as he approached the
counter grinning.

“Finally I found you. I was starting to think
you’d lied to me about working at a video store.”

“How did you find me?”

“Let’s just say I’ve visited nearly every video
store on the coast.”

“You’re kidding?”

She couldn’t believe he’d just driven around the
whole coast trying to find her.

“Does it look like I’m kidding? How else would I
have found you?”

He had a point.

A smile formed on her lips. “How many stores did
you go to?”

“Enough to know that it was a
stupid idea.”

Claire laughed. “You’re crazy.”

He shrugged. “I wanted to see you.”

“How come you wanted to see me?”

His eyes narrowed. “Can’t I want to see you?”

Claire shook her head. “Of course you can want to
see me, but did you have a specific reason for coming all the way here when I’m
seeing you tomorrow?”

He smiled again. “Well, actually I was wondering
what time you finished work?”

She looked up at the clock on the nearby wall. “I
finish in about twenty minutes.”

“Did you want to rent a movie out and we can go
back to yours or mine to watch it?”

A thought struck Claire. “Hold on. You can’t
drive. Did you catch a bus to all the video stores?”

“Why do you think it took me two hours to find
you?” he smirked.

“Wow.”

“The least you could do for my troubles is
watching a movie with me?” he grinned.

Maybe this was his plan all along.

A movie date with Nate?
Could she do that? Would that be wrong?

Nate placed his hands on the counter and leaned
towards her. “Stop over-analysing it, Claire. It’s just two friends watching a
movie together. I’ll even let you pick the movie.”

She was over-analysing it.

“Okay, fine,” she agreed.

He pulled his hands off the counter, grinning in
satisfaction.

“But whatever movie I pick, you can’t complain.
Even if it’s a chick flick,” she teased.

“For the sake of my sanity, please don’t pick a
shit movie.”

Claire just laughed. She had a million different sappy
love movies she could make him watch. Just seeing him squirm in his seat would
make up for all the times he had annoyed her in the past, but she knew she
wouldn’t do that to him.

“Maybe you should pick the movie, then.”

Nate’s smiled lit up at her suggestion.

“No horror movies! Or blood and guts type of
movie.”

He threw his hands up in innocence. “I promise.”

Claire rolled her eyes.
Like Nate could be
trusted.

She watched him walk confidently towards the DVD
aisle, straight for the horror section. He turned and flashed a lopsided grin
at her.

Claire frowned and shook her head.

Nate watched her reaction and laughed before
turning down the new release aisle.

“He’s cute!” Jessie said next Claire, nudging her
in the side.

Jessie and Claire had been working together for
years. Jessie had that girl next door look. Without a doubt she would get hit
on at least once during her shift. She even had regulars come in just to see
her.

They both got on a like a house on fire. She was
similar in age to Claire, and they both had the same interests and hobbies.
Including the same view on eye candy, so Claire wasn’t surprised
that Jessie had noticed Nate.

“You guys dating or something?”

“No, no.
Nothing like that.
Just friends.”

Claire turned her gaze from Nate, who was casually
looking at the DVD’s, and continued scanning the returned movies to get them
ready to go back out on the shelves.

“Only friends?”
Jessie
said in disbelief. “I have trouble believing that.”

“Well apart from the obvious fact that I already
have a boyfriend,” Claire said unamused, “he’s only a friend-”

Jessie interrupted. “So you wouldn’t mind me going
over and talking to him.”

Yes I would mind.
“Of course not, go
ahead,” Claire said quietly, trying to hide her level of discomfort.

But she did mind. She didn’t want Jessie flirting
with Nate. The thought of them together didn’t sit right with her. But who was
she to say any different? She had no claim on him. Then why was she feeling
like this? Her heart pounded in her chest as she watched Jessie approach Nate.

Nate turned to Jessie and smiled. They both
started engaging in conversation, unfazed by each other.

Jessie’s flirting was obvious, obvious enough that
Claire noticed it from across the room.

Jessie was gorgeous, and she knew it. Maybe even
Nate knew it?
No
, she thought,
please don’t
.

She wanted to run over and steal him away from
her. She found herself getting angry at Jessie. Mad at her for what she was
doing. But Jessie was her friend; they’d never fought before. She’d flirted
with guys before, even Dave before Claire and Dave started dating, and it had
never worried her. But it worried her now.

Shit! I’m
freakin
’
jealous.

She watched them converse with each other up and
down the aisles, picking up movies together and looking at them. Each passing
moment making her feel even
more sick
to the stomach.

She was jealous, and she knew it. There was no
other explanation. But why was she jealous? They were just friends.
Friends.
 

She avoided Nate’s eye contact as he approached the
counter a few minutes later. Instead of serving him, Claire quickly walked away
to let Jessie take care of him, since clearly she was doing a good job of it
already.

Thankfully the staff taking over from her arrived,
meaning it was her home time. She grabbed her bag from the back room and headed
through the shop to the front entrance. She could see out of the corner of her
eye that Jessie and Nate weren’t at the counter anymore, but she didn’t want to
search around and find them. She quickly walked out of the shop, angry at
them,
angry at herself.

“What’s your problem, now?”

She turned to see Nate leaning up against the
wall, alone.

“Nothing,” Claire snapped.

Nate peeled himself off the wall and walked
towards her.
“Really?
Because you’ve
spent the last fifteen minutes giving me death stares and ignoring me.”

Claire held her handbag tightly against her,
rocking back on her heels. What was she supposed to say to him? ‘I was pissed
because I’m jealous’?

So instead of admitting her ridiculous jealousy she
stayed quiet, biting her lip.

“Claire…”

Nate moved closer, placing his hands on her
shoulders, his eyes staring into hers.

Those eyes would be the end of her.

“It’s just…I mean…Jessie, seriously?”