Blessed Fate (10 page)

My plan to meet Rain and the Neumann men as soon as they arrived dissolved when Jared coming to tell me that one of my guitars hadn't been properly stored and wouldn't stay in tune. Whoever was responsible for this was going to get the ass chewing of a lifetime because not only did they possibly destroy one of my best instruments, but it left Rain, once again, to deal with shit without me.

After working with Jared in one of the back rooms for over an hour, fixing the guitar and making sure it wasn't as bad as we had feared, I heard Rain's voice coming from the stage. She wasn't warming up or belting out one of our tunes, she was playing her favorite Art of Dying song. They weren't a huge band, but they had talent and I think she secretly lusted after their guitarist. I sat down next to her at the center of the massive stage, singing harmony as she played the melody on the acoustic guitar I bought her about a year after we met.

"Should we add that in tonight?" When she didn't answer, I pulled her onto my lap, gently brushing the hair out of her eyes. "Hey, we don't have to. I just thought you might want to. You know, kind of a tribute to your mom."

"That'd be awesome. Will Jon and Trav be up for it?"

"For you, I think they'd do just about anything. When are you going to realize how many people love you?" The fact that she seemed to feel as if they would have an issue with something that meant so much to her pissed me off. Her family not telling her how they really felt cut her deep and I didn't know if those wounds would ever heal.

Watching Rain go through the motions of getting ready for the show, I realized she really was badass. Other than one brief moment in her dressing room, she hadn't shown any emotion. Then again, being that tough could be a bad thing if she kept holding onto all of the pain.

As the crew finished flipping the stage preparing for our set, I found Rain, staring into the distance just off stage.

"Hey, you gonna make it?"

"I'm fine." She didn't look at me, but I could see her face was rigid, trying to hide the emotion bubbling closer to the surface.

"Bullshit. Look at me. You're going to be fine. It's just another show, right?"

"I said I'm fine," she snapped. It was rare to see Rain distracted before a show. Even though I knew
why
she was having problems getting herself psyched up for the show, I needed to do something to get her head in the game. I sucked in a breath, preparing to do the one thing I knew would be guaranteed to piss her off enough to draw her out of her thoughts.

"Whatever you say, Moo."

"
What
did you just call me?" If looks could kill, I would have been dead on the spot.

"Just doin' my job, Rain," I smirked. I flinched when her fist connected with my shoulder. For such a petite girl, she packed one hell of a punch.

"Who else fucking knows?" I knew using her childhood nickname—the one she didn't know I knew—would upset her, but it almost worked too well. She seemed about ready to go into the audience hunting for a pound of flesh from one of her brothers.

I wrapped my arms around her so that her back pressed firmly against my chest. "No one but me. And I've known it for a long time. Mark's lips get loose when he's been drinking. Don't worry, your secret has always been safe with me," I whispered into her ear. A sick part of me prayed I hadn't imagined the shiver I felt as my breath crossed her skin.

She didn't pull away from me as we waited for the lights to go down. I tightened my embrace, desperate for her to realize that I would be there for her no matter what. As the lights went down, Rain asked me where her family was sitting. I let her know where they were, assuring her I had arranged it so they weren't in the general admission area; they were in the gutter area where fans weren't allowed.

Seeing Rain illuminated by a single blue spotlight was one of my favorite parts of our show every night. She had a peace to her in those moments before she started singing
It's Never Been You
that was rare for her, even on the best of days. My eyes never strayed from her as she started belting out the haunting melody. Not once did her voice crack during her a cappella verse. In fact, it was one of the best performances she had given since we had been on the road. I was proud of her.

About half way through the set, Jon jumped out from behind his drum kit and I knew it was time. He took Rain's mic so he could address the crowd. When the crowd went wild, he raised a hand to silence them.

"I need to tell you guys something, and I'm hoping Rain won't embed one of those heels in the middle of my back when we walk off stage later."

Jon looked to her to see how she was holding up. She nodded, giving him permission to say whatever he had in mind.

"For those who didn't know, our girl Rain is one of the toughest bitches in the business. Most people in her position right now, I don't give a shit if it's man or woman, would be a wreck. A few nights ago, right after we got done with our show in Memphis, Rain got a phone call no one wants to get..."

He continued giving a brief explanation of what happened but I didn't hear a word he said. The only person I could see at that moment was Rain, who was about to go down if she didn't stop locking her knees. I passed my guitar to Travis so I could hang onto her. "Relax your knees, I've got you," I whispered as Jon finished his speech.

"...If you have a drink, lift it high over your head. Tonight, we're celebrating Rain's mom. She did a damn fine job raising her and then turned her over to us. From here on out, the Blessed Tragedy family has an amazing angel up there."

Jared brought a bottle of Jameson on stage and we each took a long pull off the bottle before I handed the bottle to Jon. I pressed my forehead to hers, "You still want to do this? We don't have to if you're not up to it." When she nodded, I motioned for Jon and Travis to take a break.

A well-written song can take on different meaning to every person hearing it. As Rain sang the first verse of
I Will Be There,
I could almost see her mind replaying images of time spent with her family before everything fell apart. I watched her until the chorus, when I joined in. I made no attempt to mask the emotion on my face as I sang directly to her, trying to sear the knowledge that I would always be there for her deep in her soul. She looked over at me and, for the first time, I could swear I saw a glimmer of passion in her eyes.

Following the show, we broke the news to Rain that, whether she liked it or not, we would be going back to Lexington with her. I had a long talk with her dad, where he told me he felt it was for the best if she had us by her side. To hear him tell it, he knew how wrong his and his wife's actions were, but once damaged, they had no clue how to fix their actions. I didn't fully understand that, but I respected him for recognizing the problem and trying to fix it, even when most people would feel it was too little, too late. The most touching moment in our talk was when he thanked me for being there for her through everything.

Jon and Travis piled into her brother's minivan, and Rain and I followed on the Harley. I could tell she was worried about having us home with her. She was normally one of the most relaxed riders I had ever had behind me, but the tension in her body made it feel like I had a weighted mannequin behind me. After about thirty minutes, I felt her body beginning to relax. We had to make an unscheduled stop on the way home because the day's events were catching up with her, and she needed a quick wake-up. We sat on the curb while she drank her coffee, neither of us saying a word.

Her dad's house was nothing like I expected. I had imagined her coming from a middle-class family, living in a modest home in an older neighborhood, so the two-story home with a circular drive and perfectly groomed lawn overlooking the golf course was a surprise. I laughed as we walked through the front door and heard Jon, Travis and her brothers in the basement talking baseball and shooting a game of pool. "Sounds like they're getting along just fine," I whispered into her ear.

"Guess so." She laced her fingers with mine as we walked to the basement. I didn't want to read too much into the gesture, but I couldn't help the feeling that there was a shift occurring in our relationship. It didn't take long before Rain excused herself to the seating area on the opposite end of the basement from where everyone was talking. I could only hope that meant she was finally going to sleep.

I looked from the guys playing pool to Rain curled on the couch, trying to decide where to go. The only place I wanted to be was next to her on the leather sectional, stroking her hair, but I didn't want her brothers to make any assumptions that could cause her stress. I joined the guys for a heated debate over which bands deserved to be called classics.

"Come on, sleeping beauty. Let's get you into your bed," I whispered as I scooped her into my arms. I figured it was the perfect time for us to escape since everyone else had gone outside. She might be an adult, perfectly capable of making her own decisions, but that didn't mean her brothers were going to be okay with me sleeping in the same bed as her, which is exactly where I planned on sleeping.

Matt and Mike, her two oldest brothers, came inside before we could get up the stairs. They stopped us, asking to talk to her for a minute. From what I understood, these two had been the least supportive of her over the years, so I was cautious about leaving her alone with them. When they stuttered and stammered, trying to come up with the right words to tell her they were proud of her, I had to hold back a laugh.

Walking through her bedroom door was like walking into a Barbie Dream House. Everything in the room was pink, the one color I could never picture Rain liking. The only thing I could see that wasn't pink was the furniture, which was bright white, including the four-poster canopy bed.

As she dug through her drawers for something to wear to bed, I reached for the back of my collar, pulling off my black t-shirt. She looked stunned when I reached for the button of my jeans. "What?" I asked, continuing to get ready for bed.

"You know they'll have your balls if you sleep with me tonight, right?"

"What do
you
want, Rain?" I couldn't care less what her brothers thought at that point. She led me to her room, which led me to believe she didn't want to sleep in separate rooms any more than I did.

"I don't want you to go, but I don't want to explain your untimely death to five thousand fans on Sunday night either."

I climbed into the bed, patting the mattress next to me. "We can deal with them in the morning. If you want me here tonight, that's where I'll be."

"Thank you." I pulled her tight against my chest, taking in the scent of her hair as we drifted off to sleep. Every night before this, we had shared the bed, sometimes even draping an arm around one another, but this was definitely different. Every curve of her soft body fit perfectly with the firmer contours of my own like pieces of a puzzle.

Sleep didn't come for me until shortly before dawn, and even then, it wasn't restful sleep. I laid there in the dark, watching her sleep, allowing my fingers to trace her arms, her sides, her hips and her legs. As the sky began to lighten and the sun started creeping towards the horizon, I knew what I had to do.

If not for the scent of freshly brewed coffee wafting through the house, I would have thought I was the first person awake. Granted, I had only slept for about an hour, so I wasn't sure that counted as having slept at all, but I was up for the day. As I rounded the bottom of the massive staircase towards the kitchen, I saw Matt, Mike, and their dad sitting around the table in the breakfast nook.

"Good morning, Colton. Would you like some coffee?" Matt asked as he stood from his chair.

I motioned for him to sit. "If you tell me where the mugs are, I can grab it. Thanks." I filled my own cup and then brought the carafe to the table to top off theirs. I figured it couldn't hurt to go out of my way to help them since there was a high likelihood they were pissed at me for sleeping in Maddie's room.

"How did you sleep?" Mike asked, eying me carefully. I could only imagine what he was thinking we had done under his father's roof, days after their mother died. If I were in his shoes, I would have wanted to kill someone.