Blind Ice (Razors Ice Book 5) (11 page)

“No, I mean, yeah, but that’s not all it is. Your body is incredible and the sex
is
the best I’ve ever had, but that’s not the only thing.
You
are amazing. You’re so freakin’ smart, Kate. Even though sometimes I feel like just a dumb hockey player around you, I still want to spend as much time together as we can. I wouldn’t mind being around you 24/7.”

She frowned. “I don’t try and make you feel stupid intentionally.”

“No, I know you don’t. That’s not what I meant. You’re just crazy smart and sometimes I’m amazed that such a genius brain is inside such a beautiful head as yours.”

She smiled because it was all she
could
do when her heart felt like it was going to leap out from behind her ribcage. “I wouldn’t mind being around you more either.”

“You’re an incredible woman, Kate.”

Kate let the words sink in and she swallowed hard.

After living through a marriage with a controlling husband and being made to feel awful for pursuing a career by a man who thought a woman’s sole place was inside the home, it was refreshing to hear Logan’s validation.

Carl, with his clipped, critical tone, had dictated what she could wear and how she could wear her hair. She was a butterfly he’d tried to pluck the wings from and she was grateful she’d gotten away from him while she could still remember how to fly.

She wouldn’t let herself feel that kind of crippling hopelessness again. She’d made a promise to herself and wouldn’t break it for anything or any man.

Logan wasn’t out to control her or to fold her neatly into the box he thought she belonged in. He only wanted to be with her, to talk with her, and to share experiences with her. And to bring her the kind of pleasure she’d never thought possible in the real world.

“You’re pretty amazing yourself.”

Logan smiled. “Now that we got that out of the way…where’s the rest of that whipped cream?”

* * *

When Kate suggested a trip to the nail salon for mani-pedis, Julia jumped at the chance to get out of the house. She’d been working tirelessly on her sonata—it was almost finished—and was going a little stir crazy inside her apartment. Shamus loved all the attention he received whenever they went to the salon and he deserved some excitement.

When it came time to choose a nail color, Julia acted like she was thinking hard about the decision. She usually had an idea of what color she wanted beforehand, but today it didn’t seem to matter one way or another if her nails were painted pink or black or nothing at all. Would a specific color make Gabe like her in person as much as he seemed to on the phone? She thought not.

“The third one from the left,” she finally decided.

“Good choice,” Kate assured her.

“Which color did I pick?” she asked under her breath.

“Neon green.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah,” Kate agreed with a smirk.

“What about you?”

“Pink.”

When they settled into the big reclining chairs to have their pedicures, Kate immediately started in about Gabe’s upcoming visit. “I think I should be there when he comes over. What if he isn’t who he says he is.”

Julia didn’t bother holding in the exasperated breath. “I’m sure you already ran a background check on him. What, is he going to turn out to be some con artist who flies two thousand miles across the country to steal from a defenseless blind girl?”

“Y-yes. I don’t know.
Maybe
.”

“Shamus will bite him in the balls if he tries any funny business, Kate. You know that.”

“I know he will.” She reached down and gave Shamus a good scratch behind the ears, careful not to smudge her fresh manicure. “But maybe I should just meet him real quick and make sure he’s legit.”

“I’ve been talking to him on the phone for nearly a year without your help.”

“I know. But it would make me feel better.”

“All right,” Julia sighed.

It might be nice to have Kate there just in case he turned out to be a sixty-year-old ex-con who stole some poor computer programmer’s identity. Stranger things had happened.

“I thought maybe I should agree to meet him at a coffee shop or something.” Julia could almost feel the glare radiating from her sister’s face. “No?”

“You hate coffee shops. You’ll do better at your place where you two can have some privacy.”

“Jeez, Katie. It’s not like we’re going to start going at it like rabbits as soon as we meet. Not like you and Logan at least. And you’re welcome for giving you an excuse to talk about your new boytoy.”

Kate sputtered, unable to dispute that tiny little fact.

“You know it’s killing you not to talk about him right now. Oh, and you need to stop comparing him to Carl.”

“Easy for you to say. He left quite an impression on me.”

“I know, sweetie. He left an impression on all of us. You just can’t judge all men based on one asshole. And Logan couldn’t be any more different than him.” Not that she’d met him yet, but she’d heard enough from Kate to know he was worthy of her sister’s affections.

“You’re right.”

“I’m just saying there are a lot of different types of guys out there. We didn’t get so lucky the first time around.”

“No, we sure didn’t.”

Julia had been stung once before when she’d trusted a man with her heart. And she’d never make that same mistake again. Especially not with Gabe.

Sensing Julia’s growing agitation, Kate made an effort to change the subject. “Are you still going to Peach’s for a trim later?” Peach, the owner of Peach’s Salon, had been personally cutting Kate’s hair years and Kate had talked Julia into making an appointment.

Julia nodded. “Yeah.” For the past few years, she had been wearing her hair in a pixie cut. When it had been long, she always wore it in a ponytail anyway and didn’t see the point in growing it out. “That new girl, Sarah, really knows her stuff. Whenever she cuts my hair, I feel…I don’t know…
sassy
.”

Kate chuckled. “Good.”

Gabe wasn’t going to know what hit him.

Chapter Twelve

Road Trip

When Logan embarked on a four game, eight day road trip to New York and up into Canada, he found himself dreading travel for the first time in his career. It was a big part of the game and yet his time with Kate had him thinking about other things besides hockey. Other, more intimate things.

On the plane, most of the guys slept or watched movies to pass the time. Logan was too restless for a movie to hold his attention. So, when he noticed that JD was awake and didn’t appear to be doing anything important, he struck up a conversation over the aisle. JD was happy to talk and even showed Logan a photo of Lauren and her pregnant belly.

Against his better judgment, Logan let the details of his date with Kate slip out while they were talking. He couldn’t help himself. Kate was one of the best things that had ever happened to him—okay, the second best thing after getting to play in the UNHL—and it wasn’t his fault he wanted to share their relationship with everyone he saw.

JD didn’t judge. “That’s cool, Logs. Lauren literally changed my life. I had thrown in the towel and somehow she squeezed her way through my defenses and pulled me out of my slump. Believe me, after Darla passed away, I was fully prepared to go to sleep and not wake up again. As corny as it sounds, just embrace it, man.”

The sound of clapping erupted from behind them and they turned to see Trik and Sebby mocking them.

“Nice speech, Mase,” Trik scoffed. “You should market that load of crap.”

JD snatched Trik’s neck pillow and beaned him in the head with it. “Shut the fuck up. You wouldn’t know a good woman if she fell out of the sky and strangled you with her thighs.”

Trik whooped with glee. “Sounds like a helluva way to die, boys! I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

* * *

At the hotel, a group of Logan’s teammates decided to go out to eat, but all he wanted to do was stay in his room. He wanted to call Kate just to hear her voice, something he thought a lovesick teenager might do. But it was true. He was three thousand miles away from her and he just wanted to know she was all right.

Was she thinking about him while she drank a glass of wine in the cozy living room of her little house? Did she know she was driving him crazy?

The guys finally talked him into going out to dinner and they had New York strip steak and a few laughs. But it didn’t mean Logan stopped thinking about her any less.

Back in his hotel room, he wanted to lie on his bed and talk to her. To listen to her tell him about her day and her patients. But Trik was his roommate on the road and would never let him live a moment of weakness like that down. So, Logan resorted to texting her.

Within seconds, she texted back the words
sweet dreams
along with a smiley face.

Content with her reply, he laid his head back on his pillow and closed his eyes.

* * *

Word traveled quickly. If he thought his teammates might chastise him with the information about his new relationship, Logan would have been severely disappointed. Several of them had already settled down with the women of their dreams and they could only razz him so much when they found out he’d joined the ranks of monogamous men.

It was an unwritten rule that the guys had free reign to harass each other freely about the women in their lives—until they put a ring on their finger. Then their loved ones were off limits and all due respect was given.

A part of him was glad he’d let them in on the secret. The men of the Razors were much more than a hockey team. They were a brotherhood. They all depended on each other on and off the ice and the locker room was where they shared in each other’s wins and losses.

Although a few of his teammates had probably already picked up on the shift in his behavior lately, some of the guys seemed genuinely surprised. And then they quickly slapped Logan on the back and offered hearty congratulations.

Sebby, on the other hand, was the only one to look truly disappointed with him. Logan could feel the goaltender’s glare clear across the room. The Russian-born goalie shook his head and curled up his lips in a look that represented pure disappointment. Sebby’s closest friend Jace had recently succumbed to the call of love and Seb couldn’t believe the way his teammates were dropping like flies into a love potion.

Nathan Connors, Seb’s partner in crime between the pipes, had been all smiles when he’d heard about Logan’s developing relationship with Kate. Connors was getting ready to welcome his first child into the world and was glad to hear his teammate had found his own little slice of happiness.

Just as everyone was finishing up breakfast at the hotel, Trik Levine sauntered into the banquet room. When he was sure he had everyone’s undivided attention, he announced, “I had quite a night last night, boys,” and promptly launched into a reenactment of how he’d hooked up with a woman he’d met outside the hotel after dinner.

The details were X-rated and not for the faint of heart. But most of the time a hockey player’s conversations were a lot like the game. Raunchy at times and not for squeamish audiences.

Details of Logan’s budding romance were forgotten for the time being and questions about Trik’s conquest’s cup size took precedence.

That night, when it came time to play the New York Bluebirds, Logan’s skates hit the ice and he blocked out everything except for the puck, his stick, and his teammates. There was plenty of time on the bus and the plane to think about Kate. Right now he was the property of the Red Valley Razors.

* * *

When Logan was away, Kate missed him a lot more than she thought she would. There was something comforting about having a man warm your bed at night—especially when his presence there made you look forward to waking up with him the next morning. When she thought about it, she didn’t think she’d ever experienced that type of joy with a man before. And now that he was gone, the loss was palpable. But it was only temporary, she reminded herself.

Even though she had to sleep alone for a few nights while he was away, she kept busy at the office and watched his games on TV in the evenings. As much as she hated spending nights alone, it was a way for her to keep her independence while still being in a relationship. She knew the travel was grueling for him and wondered how it would be to wake up in a different hotel room each morning in a different zip code.

Chapter Thirteen

Face to Face

Gabe felt like a kid getting ready for summer camp. There was so much anticipation for what was to come. He’d waited for so long to finally meet Julia in person and now that moment was only hours away.

He didn’t own a suitcase, so he threw everything into the duffel bag he found shoved in the back of his closet. He tossed in all of the clothes he thought he’d need for a week—which was a crapshoot because he was a little rusty at this whole vacation thing—and zipped it up.

When he hefted the strap over his shoulder, he realized that most everything he owned—except for his TV and gaming systems—he was carrying on his back. He was already well aware of the fact that he lived simply, but realizing he could just up and leave at any time without being bogged down by a U-Haul full of belongings was unsettling. And slightly liberating.

With no plants to water and no pets to worry about, he could go anywhere at the drop of a hat.

But there was only one place he wanted to go.

* * *

When the big day arrived, Julia dressed in her favorite jeans and a top that was feminine without trying too hard. She tried not to worry about her appearance. If Gabe didn’t like how she looked, then there was nothing she could do to change that.

She knew the apartment was clean because Veronica had been over the day before. There weren’t any funky smells anywhere and she’d stocked the fridge with refreshing beverages to break the ice with. Literally and figuratively.

As much as she told herself she didn’t care, the first thing she asked Kate when she arrived was, “Do I look okay?”

“Yeah. Those jeans look cute on you.”

“How is the house? Veronica was here yesterday, but—”

“It looks fine. Everything is neat and tidy.”

“Good.” Julia smoothed her shirt. The nerves descended on her like a tidal wave. Why had she agreed to do this again?

Kate’s hand was soft on her own. She squeezed. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

“I almost don’t want him to like me so we can end this charade already.”

Kate huffed. “Please don’t sabotage this, JuJu. If things don’t feel right romantically you have to remember he’s still your friend.”

Julia sighed. “I know. He’s hell bent on being more than friends, but I’m so scared of the past repeating itself.”

“But it’s just the risk you have to take. You told him about what happened with What’s His Name, didn’t you?”

“Yes. I told him the entire humiliating story.”

“Then he’d be an idiot to ruin things now.”

“But what if he sees how disabled I am and stops talking to me? On the phone it’s different. Actually seeing it might change his mind.”

“You’re not disabled! And I’d like to think he won’t be that shallow. You’ve been talking for over a year now.”

“Yeah. You’re right. If things crash and burn, I’ll move on. I’ve functioned without a man just fine before. I can do it again.”

“That’s my girl.”

After her sister’s impromptu pep talk, Julia was ready to meet the man behind the phone voice.

The question was: was he ready to meet her?

* * *

What would she be like in person? Would he still have the same feelings after spending a week with her? Would
she
still like him after his seven days in Red Valley were up? Gabe had conjured up an image of her, but he didn’t know if it was anywhere close to reality.

He felt like he knew just about everything about her, but there was still so much about Julia’s life that he didn’t know. Like what her apartment looked like and how her skin smelled. Or what she looked like when she laughed. There were so many questions and soon they would all be answered.

More than anything, Gabe hoped they got along and that this past year spent communicating over the phone hadn’t been a complete ruse.

Gabe walked through the airport terminal and tried to smooth the wrinkles from his shirt. It was useless. He was rumpled and wrinkled from the nine hour flight, but that couldn’t be helped. He probably should have stopped by the hotel first to change, but that would only delay their meeting that much longer.

Now that he was finally on California soil, he couldn’t bear to waste another minute before meeting her.

* * *

Kate spotted Gabe parking his rental car in front of Julia’s apartment building long before VINCE announced his arrival at the front door.

“I think that’s him,” she told Julia. “He’s getting out of the car… And he’s coming around the hood… Now he’s putting his keys in his pocket… Oh, he’s coming up the walkway… Yep, this is definitely him…”

“Ssh,” Julia hissed. “Enough.”

Just let him be here already
.

The anticipation was already killing her and Kate’s running commentary wasn’t helping. Had a human being ever died from anticipating the arrival of someone before? Julia hoped not because she really wanted to meet him while her heart was still beating.

“Gabe Crawford is approaching,” VINCE announced.

Julia smiled in spite of herself. Of course Gabe would program himself into VINCE’s facial recognition program.

Julia pushed Kate out of the way of the door—hey, this was
her
apartment after all—and swung it open just as he had finished knocking. “Hi, Gabe.”

“Julia!” He swooped in and hugged her, then picked her up and twirled her around.

He seemed tall. His body felt lean and tall and warm. And his voice. It was different but the same. Clear and friendly in person.

Julia laughed and he set her down again. And here, she thought their first meeting would be awkward!

She stepped back, instantly feeling the loss of his body heat. She would have held on for a lot longer, but Kate was still there. Even if her sister wasn’t standing a few feet away, Julia still didn’t trust her feelings.

Gabe grabbed a hold of her hands and kissed her knuckles. “It’s so good to see you.”

“You too,” she joked.

The three of them laughed at the irony and it helped to break the ice.

“I’m glad we’re finally getting to meet,” Julia told him.

“I’ve been waiting for this for months.”

Julia gestured to where Kate was standing behind her. “Gabe, this is my sister Kate.”

“Kate, it’s nice to meet you. I can see the family resemblance. You’re both gorgeous.”

“Oh, wow,” Kate beamed from the compliment. “And here I was worried you’d turn out to be someone else.”

“Nope,” he replied. “I’m no imposter.”

“
Kate
,” Julia hissed through clenched teeth. “I’ll take it from here.”

Not so fast. Kate took a moment to thoroughly look Gabe Crawford over, not caring if he realized he was indeed under heavy scrutiny. Her first impression of the computer programmer was as an attractive, studious-looking man in his mid-twenties with a pair of brown eyes that could make a girl swoon.

Upon further inspection, Kate decided he just might be too adorable for words with his disheveled hair and squeaky clean Converse sneakers. Matthew Broderick as Ferris Bueller came to mind and she thought her younger sister couldn’t do any better at finding a suitable man.

Although he probably spent most of his time behind a desk, he wasn’t soft in the middle or paunchy from lack of exercise. On the contrary. He looked fit and lean and those chocolate brown eyes of his didn’t miss a thing. Even now they were scanning Julia’s small apartment before resting them back on Julia’s face.

Kate had seen that look in a man’s eyes before (well, maybe just once on Logan) and if she didn’t know better she’d think Gabe was in love with her little sister. Yep, he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off her. And once he’d managed to get Julia’s hand in his grasp, he hadn’t let go.

Kate smiled to herself. It was like watching two teenagers smitten with the early stages of puppy love. Gabe was obviously already in love and it was a glorious sight to witness. They were going to get along just fine together and Kate knew she was leaving Julia in good, strong, capable hands.

“Well, hon,” Kate finally said to Julia, “I’ve got to get going. I’m meeting Janis for lunch. Gabe, it’s great to finally meet you in person.”

After a quick goodbye, Kate slipped out the door with a smile on her face.

When the front door clicked shut behind Kate, Julia let out a deep breath. “How was your flight?” she asked Gabe.

“Long. I’m glad to finally be here.”

As much as it pained her to admit, she was glad he was, too.

He was here now and it felt right. Why had she been fighting it?

“I came straight from the airport, so I probably don’t smell that great,” he said sounding self-conscious. “I could have stopped by the hotel first, but I couldn’t wait another minute to see you.”

Julia thought he smelled good. She caught the faint whiff of his aftershave and it smelled fresh and clean. Even after traveling he still smelled nice. And his breath smelled like cinnamon. So many nights she’d lain in bed and thought about how he might smell. She wasn’t disappointed.

“That’s okay,” she reassured him. “You smell nice actually.”

“Thanks.” He let out a laugh that sounded like it had nerves and relief all tangled up together.

“Let me introduce you to Shamus. Shamus,” she addressed the dog who was waiting patiently by her feet, “shake Gabe’s hand please.”

Shamus raised his paw and Gabe shook it.

“He’s a beautiful dog,” Gabe remarked. “And very well behaved. Just like I imagined him to be.”

His voice turned away from her for a split second and then he said, “So, this must be Cassidy. Jeez Julia, I feel like I already know everyone.”

“Well, we aren’t
complete
strangers,” she pointed out.

“After talking on the phone for so long it’s so weird to hear your voice
and
be able to actually touch you.” He was still holding her hand and gave it a warm squeeze.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here. Even when VINCE announced your arrival I couldn’t believe it.”

“So, he remembered me, huh?”

She laughed. “Yeah.” She gestured toward the couch. “Here, have a seat. Or are you tired of sitting?”

“I’m okay.”

They sat down next to each other, still holding hands. Silence settled between them and it made Julia feel uneasy. Even though she sensed a calmness in him, she couldn’t read his eyes.

“I like your nail polish.”

His voice was in her ear, only this time there was no phone to act as a barrier between them.

“Thanks. I picked it out just for you. Would you like something to drink?” Refreshments she could handle. She’d bought enough soda to fill August Lake to the brim.

“No, I’m okay.”

After a while, they’re nerves finally settled and they chatted on the couch. When the sun started to set, Gabe sat up straight and stretched. “I probably should go to the hotel and get settled in, but I can’t seem to get myself to leave.”

“That’s okay. I’m not really ready for you to leave yet anyway. You just got here.”

“I can go over to the hotel and take a shower and then we can go get some dinner. Are there any good restaurants nearby?”

Julia grimaced. She might have the beverages covered, but not the food.

Eating in public presented more challenges than she was willing to endure on their first date. Besides that, she wanted to be at home in a more private setting than out in public. She wasn’t ready to share Gabe with anyone else just yet.

Her regular diet consisted of frozen TV dinners and a lot of take-out. The delivery people from the pizza place and the Chinese restaurant on the corner know her by name and were always friendly. Although she had learned how to cook for herself at the Augusta School for the Blind, it wasn’t something she did very often. When you lived alone and didn’t have a delicate palate it was easier that way.

“We can just order in,” she suggested. “There’s a good Chinese place around the corner that delivers.”

Gabe seemed to pick up on the fact that she’d rather stay home. “Okay. That sounds good.”

“You can take a shower here.” The words were out of her mouth before she could take them back.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“I brought my own soap,” he said with a laugh. “It’s been so long since I’ve been on vacation I just brought everything.”

“Well, I’m sure I can rustle up anything you might have forgotten. There are clean towels in the linen closet.”

His hand was warm on her wrist. “Are you sure this is okay? I don’t want to intrude on your space.”

She smiled at his thoughtfulness and patted his hand. “It’s fine. There’s no point in you driving clear across town and back again just to get a shower. Make yourself at home.”