Blissful Surrender (15 page)

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Authors: Bj Harvey,Jennifer Roberts-Hall

BOOK: Blissful Surrender
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My skin prickles with awareness and I instantly know he is nearby. No other man has made me so on edge. There is no one else on earth that I’ve ever felt
this
in tune with before; it’s disconcerting and thrilling at the same time. 

Pony
by Rihanna blasts through the sound system and Tanner takes the opportunity to move in close, hooking his arm around my waist and pulling me hard against him. The dance floor fills to bristling, but the people are a blur. All I can feel is Tanner’s hard body writhing suggestively in time with the music and the all too familiar buzz in my head from too much vodka. My body is strung so tight I fear I’ll snap, and it’s that pent-up tension that sees me matching Tanner grind for grind, my hips swinging seductively with his as I lift my arms around his neck, tangling my hands in his hair and pulling the strands through my fingers. I close my eyes and for a moment I imagine it’s Sean I’m dancing with, that it’s his hands wandering over my body, the silky material of my dress sliding up slightly when one hand rakes against the bare skin of my thigh while the other cups my ass, holding me tight against him. I reopen my eyes as Tanner’s hands glide over me, remaining oblivious to the discomfort I feel the minute I lock eyes with Sean.

His sapphire eyes bore into mine from across the crowded club as he leans against the stairs on the far wall that lead up to the second floor and his office; the office where he’d told me I could find him if I needed him.

In my heart, I know I don’t want Tanner; it was never an emotional connection with him. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a really nice guy, but he’s not
him
. When I think about it, nobody has even come close to him. My resolve to fight whatever feelings still rage between us is failing. Those deep blue eyes, that knowing smirk of his that tells me he’s thinking dirty thoughts and they all involve me, the way his touch relaxes and charges me all at the same time. My automatic supplication whenever he’s near.

I haven’t been able to admit that to myself until right now when I’m in the arms of another man, and in a club with an illicit reputation that both scares and exhilarates me as I stare into the eyes of the man that makes my heart race like no other.

Tanner and I continue to dance as Rihanna talks about doing it, but it’s the rest of the words that sink into my psyche about having a lover and needing no other.

Sean’s head tilts upward, his chin strong and unwavering. Even from across the room I can see that he’s tense, his rigid body unmoving, his jaw clenched so tightly that if I were closer I’d swear I could hear his teeth grinding. Frowning and shaking his head, he turns and speaks to the bouncer briefly before taking the stairs two at a time, striding away from me, away from us. Tanner buries his face in my neck, and when I feel his tongue on my skin I realize why Sean left.

I feel like I’ve been sucker punched in the gut.

I need to go to him, I need to show him that I want this, want him. Not Tanner.

“Sam,” A voice whispers in my ear, bringing me out of my haze. “You wanna get out of here? Any more of this…” Tanner murmurs as he grinds his hard length against me, “...and I’ll get arrested, even in a club with a perverted reputation like this.”

His words act like cold water. Pulling away, I take a step back while pushing on his shoulders to put a decent gap between us. His eyes narrow as he frowns down at me. “Sam, what’s wrong?” His hands covertly go into his pockets as he tries to hide his predicament. If I were in the right frame of mind I’d find it amusing, but right now nothing is funny. It’s like I’ve just been hit with a Mac truck of realization and there is only one man I want to see standing in front of me. The one man who I know is probably still watching this situation unfold, that’s if he hasn’t washed his hands of me. Seeing me in the arms of another man in front of him would do that. I know that the mere thought of Sean being with another woman, let alone touching her, kills me.

I can’t deny this anymore. He knows me, he knows the real me, and the man still makes my days brighter, my dreams hotter, and can command a room like he owns the joint. He’s strong, he’s dedicated, and hard working. In fact, he’s turned out to be everything he promised me he would be - successful, dedicated, and willing to build a life for us.

And I never gave him a chance.

What am I? Fucking stupid or what! I had a man ready to give me the world and I walked away.

I shake my head as Tanner puts his hand on my bare arm. His touch doesn’t warm me like it used to.

“Look, Tan, I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” he looks at me in utter disbelief. “For what? Getting me worked up in a club? ’Cause baby, as long as you help me work my way down, all is forgiven.”

“No. I’m sorry because I can’t do this with you anymore.”

“This?” he waves his hand between us and I nod. He stares at me for a moment, two of us standing in a throng of unaware dancers continuing to shift around us.

 

I drop my head to the floor, my shoulders slumping in defeat as I refuse to register the hurt in his eyes. I look up to see Tanner’s back as he walks away from me toward the club’s front door. Once he disappears from sight, my eyes move to the stairs leading up to where Sean is, the man I
truly
want. My feet are stuck and I’m standing there motionless in a mass sea of flying limbs and sweaty bodies, caught between what my heart and body wants and what my mind is telling me I’m not in a position to handle.

One heel in front of the other. One step at a time, I make my way to the stairs. The bouncer holds his hand up to stop me and as I open my mouth to tell him who I want to see. He tilts his head toward his earpiece, his eyes cutting to me. With a chin lift, he steps aside. “Last door on the left, Samantha.”

My head snaps up to his at the sound of my name. Sean knows I’m coming. He’s been watching me which means he saw me stop Tanner and then saw Tanner leave the club. My stomach fills with butterflies as I climb the stairs. To the left is a private bar that Sean told me was for members to use away from the general public, either before or after they’d partaken in the VIP rooms. I turn to the right and see a dimly lit hallway lined with low hanging red tinted lamps, and heavy wooden doors line each side of the walls with colors fading from black at the beginning to scorching hot red at the end.

When I reach the very end of the corridor, I pause for a moment, resting my head against the cool wood as I try to collect my thoughts and prepare myself for whatever might happen in the office I’m about to enter. Will he be angry? Or will he be eerily calm in a way that is all Sean?

I stand up straight, looking down my body to check that I’m presentable before pushing my hair back behind my ears and knocking once firmly, then softer a second time as my momentary bravado starts to lose steam.

A few seconds later, the door opens and my vision is filled with Sean—shirt loose and unbuttoned at the top, his eyes tight, his expression indiscernible.

“Samantha,” he murmurs, not taking his eyes away from my face which is telling.

“Can I come in?”

“Do you want to? Or are you just in need of a ride home? I just watched your
friend
leave alone,” he sneers.

“Sean, please. We need to talk.”

He steps aside and I walk past him, the small space forcing me to turn sideways as I brush past him. My breasts graze his chest and I gasp as sparks ignite between us. I slowly look back up at him and see his stormy eyes full of heat, so I quickly step into his office and stop in the middle of the room, turning around to face him. I’m not feeling as drunk as I did downstairs. The importance of the next few minutes acts like the most potent cup of coffee I could ever drink.

He shuts the door, turning the lock before facing me and leaning back against the door. His head drops and he takes me in, starting at my black strappy heels up my legs and working his way slowly over my curves. His intense gaze feels like a gentle caress full of heat and promise. I shudder and I know he doesn’t miss it. I’m so turned on right now; I swear he could breathe on me and I’d climax instantly. It feels right to be with him. Despite my misconceptions about his strength and his power over me, Sean is the most in control man I have ever known.

So why am I shaking like a leaf in anticipation?

 

Sean

“I shouldn’t want this,” she murmurs quietly, unsure of what she is saying. I watch her body, looking for cues to prove what I already know. She’s lying to herself and more importantly, to me.

Staying grounded where I am, my back to the office door, I watch her face and the inner battle ensuing between the need to stay and the desire to run. And it is a need; even if she hasn’t realized it yet. “But you
need
it, Samantha. You need
me
, don’t you?”

I take a step toward her as she steps back until her body hits my desk. I continue to advance and her chest rises and falls quickly, her breathing labored as her body tells me what she is not yet prepared to admit.

When I stop the heat from her body radiates through mine, and I have to stifle a groan at the sheer magnetism of the woman in front of me. Her untapped compliance that she still refuses to acknowledge after all of these years draws me in.

Closing my eyes I stand and simply breathe her in. Her coconut scent, the same body lotion she used to use back in college, brings back memories of our bodies entwined, our lips meshed together as I brought her to climax time and time again. I shake my head and open my eyes, meeting hers full of latent heat and desire.

“Sean, I—”

No. She’s not getting another moment to talk herself out of this, out of us. She’s been running for way too long. This time, it’s for keeps. This time, I’m not letting anything come between us. Not her mother. Not my brother. Not her job. Not some convoluted idea she gets in her head that she is not the submissive I need her to be. I’m sick of the bullshit and this time, I want what is mine. And Sam is mine.

Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pull her body tight against mine and slant my head, slamming my mouth to hers as she gasps in shock. My hand grabs her blonde ponytail, holding her in place, and her tight muscles relax as soon as my tongue rolls over hers.

I set out to rediscover the beauty that is Samantha Richards.

Her taste is intoxicating and I find myself wanting to consume her, to lose myself inside of this gorgeous woman whose mind continues to deny the never ending connection between us. In this moment, I want to show her everything I am, everything I can do to her, every possible way I can make her feel. I know I’m losing control, but with Sam …

I don’t care.

I press my hips into her, pressing my hard-as-steel cock against the softness of her stomach. I feel her arms move between us, and when I expect her to push her palms against my chest and push me away, she fists my shirt and pulls me closer, thrusting her hips into me in silent invitation. She may not be able to admit the words, but she can show me with her body, with her actions. She can no longer deny that the spark between us is as strong as it was in the beginning. 

I pull my head back slightly, raking my teeth against her bottom lip as I go. I scan her face, looking for any remaining uncertainty. But all I can see are swollen pink lips and eyes full of want and I know in that moment that I have my Sammy back, even if it’s just for a few moments, a few hours, maybe a night. And if that is all I get with her, then I’ll take it willingly. If this is the only chance I get with her, I’m going to make it count. I’m going to draw it out and make it last until neither one of us can move. Hell, until neither of us can breathe without remembering the way we were and this night.

“You were saying?” I say, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t stop,” she rasps, then she shocks the hell out of me by cupping my cheeks with her warm, velvet soft hands, and guiding her mouth back toward mine. Slow, tentative licks with her tongue against my lips remind me that as much as I want this woman, my Sam, I need to start slow and work her up to my level. The same level where I believe she wants to be, where she’ll be hoarse from screaming out my name as she comes over and over again. Fuck, I want that.

I give her a few minutes, letting her have some semblance of control before I take over again. Forceful, demanding Sean is back in the room. I’m not going to ask anymore, I’m going to take what I want. And right now, I want my Sammy to be writhing breathless beneath me as I take her. I feel any leftover resistance seep from her body as she relaxes against me, tacit acceptance of everything I’m giving her and more. I tilt my head and plunder her mouth, my hand on her waist slipping down to her ass, my fingers gripping tightly, making her feel every inch of what is waiting for her. My other hand grips her hair roughly, pulling just enough to demand her attention. Her answering moan is all the fuel I need as I drag my mouth along her jaw and down her neck, nipping with my teeth before soothing with a lick of my tongue. I move my leg between hers, lifting my thigh until it’s flush against her warm center, angling her pelvis hard against my leg with pressure on her ass until Sam’s instincts take over and her hips start thrusting against my leg, seeking the friction she needs to find exquisite pleasure she seeks, the ecstasy I want to give her.

“Fuck,” she moans as I continue to kiss her neck. I can’t get enough of her, I never want to stop. Her skin tastes divine, exactly how I remember, sweet as honey and sexy as sin.

She tastes like home.

She continues to grind against my thigh, my throbbing cock straining against her hip, hard as steel and likely to leave bruises by morning, but right now I want more from her, need more. Releasing my grip on her hair, I trail my palm down the back of her neck, running my fingers over the curve of her shoulder and down inside the V of her dress. Slipping my fingers inside the satin cup of her bra, I curl my hand around the curve of her breast, gently squeezing in time with the thrust of her hips against me. I swipe my thumb across her hard nipple, loving the shudder that surges through her body. Her breathing quickens, letting me know how close she is to coming so leaning forward, I nip her earlobe, “Come for me, Sammy. Let me hear you cry out my name.”

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