Blizzard (The Brotherhood Journals #1) (17 page)

I couldn't help but smile. “You remind me of my friend Chelsea. She used to be a club girl for the Brothers by Blood before the president snapped her up.”

Her eyes brightened. “Now there's a job I could sink my teeth into.”

She wiggled her eyebrows and we both giggled.

“All right, let’s do this. Are you ready?”

“Um…” I rubbed my hands together nervously.

“I said,
are you ready!”
She pumped her fist in the air dramatically.

“No!” I answered, copying her and throwing my fist up too.

She laughed and grabbed my hand, heading for the door. “That’s the spirit.”

“Will you stop fucking pacing and sit down,” Optimus grumbled, leaning against his pool stick as Leo took his shot. He turned away, mumbling to himself, “Fucker is going to wear a hole in my damn floor.”

I glared at his back.

“And quit it with the pansy ass death stare,” he called as he leaned over the table and eyed up his next shot.

“Someone should have fucking called by now.” I gripped the bar with both my hands and Chelsea placed another beer in front of me, shooting me a sympathizing look.

I heard the balls on the table clink against each other and Op groaned loudly, followed by a triumphant laugh from Leo.

“That was your fault, asshole.” He pointed at me as he slapped a handful of cash down on the table. “You’re filling the room with bad vibes.”

Chelsea laughed from her space behind the bar. “You’ve never been any good at pool, don’t try and blame someone else for your bad eyesight.”

Op raised a brow at her. “You want to come over here and say that, woman?” He held his arms wide, inviting her to take another shot at him.

Chelsea waved her hand in the air like she was shooing away a fly. “No, no. As you were.”

“That’s what I thought.”

I picked up my cell phone from the counter for the tenth time in the last ten minutes. Still no calls. It was one a.m. The strip club Rose was at,
The Backroom
, would be closing at three. I knew if we hadn’t heard anything by then that something bad had gone down.

“Why all of a sudden do you care?” Camo asked curiously from the corner. Lou-Lou cuddled up to him on one side and Eva nipping at his neck on the other. “Less than two days and you’ve gone from hating her to being all—” He screwed up his face like he couldn’t find the words.

“Pussy whipped?” Optimus interrupted.

“Cunt struck?” Wrench declared.

“In love?” Chelsea expressed.

“All of the above,” Camo agreed.

I made a point to throw a glare at every single one of them as I looked around the room, receiving only amused faces in return.

I threw back half the beer that Chelsea had handed me. “Bastards, the fucking lot of you.”

They were right, though. Rose had been around the clubhouse for less than forty-eight hours, and in that time I’d called her a liar and a fake in front of my brothers. I’d made her feel like shit out on the patio. I’d watched her bond with Harlyn and Jayla, and I’d taken her somewhere that was special and only open to the club. I’d tasted her and felt her body grinding desperately against mine in search of release. Not that she’d ever mentioned it since then.

I wasn’t sure where my mind was at right now.

She had smashed into my life at full force and my hatred for her was slowly withering. I thought I knew the real her. I thought I’d seen her true colors before, but they were nothing compared to the bright rainbow that was now shining.

She’d shown me more than I ever thought she had in her.

She was caring and patient. Her heart and passion for others ran deep inside her. She’d grown stronger too. No longer a doormat who let people dictate who she was or what she was going to do with her life. I’d seen it first hand as I listened to her talk to her uncle out on the patio, telling him she wouldn’t be coming home just so he could save the face of his family.

She’d thrown herself into a deep, dangerous pit, knowing full well that we could just leave her there and walk away.

Sometimes we have to take risks. Risks that could result in us being hurt, or laughed at, or ridiculed. It’s up to us to weigh whether it was worth it. I needed to decide whether I was going to take a risk of my own and let her back in. The door was already slight ajar, at this point, it could go either way. But if I was honest with myself, I wanted to throw it open and drag her inside. Fuck the consequences that might come along with it. It was a slowly building fire that was burning me up from the inside. I wasn’t ready to put it out just yet.

Chelsea moved closer to me, reaching out to pat my hand. “I’m sure she’s fine, Blizzard. Kev and Ham are there with her. They’ll watch out for her, you know that.”

She was right. These were my brothers and I needed to have faith in them
. I did.

“Blizzard!” Eagle, one of my brothers that had recently returned to us jogged down the stairs. He’d been away on and off at another chapter in North Dakota. It was new, and a handful of brothers from other chapters around the country had been sent to help them set up and settle in.

“Yeah?”

He ran his fingers through his shaggy hair. “Your girl’s crying in your room.”

I sat up straighter. “Jay?” I immediately headed for the stairs, climbing them two steps at a time and rushing down the hall. I could hear her now. Such loud sobbing for such a little girl.

My heart stuttered as I threw the door open and flicked the light on. She was sitting up on her bed, tears staining her face and struggling to breathe. I ran over and scooped her tiny body into my arms. She clung to me like a little monkey, almost choking me.

“Jay, it’s okay. Breathe, baby.” I tried to soothe her, but her little fingers just dug into me deeper.

I wasn’t really sure what I was doing.

This whole parenting thing was new to me.

Parenting? Was I a parent?

“Rock her.” I looked over to see Eagle standing in the doorway, his face concerned. “Trust me, bro. I had little sisters growing up.”

I started to rock back and forth, making soft shushing noises. It took a few minutes but she slowing began to calm. Her grip never faltered, though, she wasn’t letting me go. I rubbed my hand up and down her back and took a seat on the edge of my bed, continuing to sway my body side to side.

“Is she okay?” Chelsea asked, pushing past Eagle, who’d settled himself against the door, watching intently.

“I don’t know. This hasn’t happened before.” I looked up at her, my eyes wide.

Chelsea held her arms out. “Jayla, honey.”

Jayla looked at her, but shook her head furiously and buried her face in the crook of my neck.

Chelsea looked surprised but just placed her hand softly on the little girl’s back. “It’s okay, honey. We’re here now. No need to be scared.”

Another sob shot through her body. “It’s okay. Don’t be scared. It’s okay. I’m not scared.” She repeated the same words that she had said to Rose earlier that day. My hackles stood up and a spark of anger shot through my body. I looked up a Chel, who stared at me, her brow creased in confusion.

I shook my head and mouthed to her,
‘I’ll tell you later.’

She nodded. “Come on Eagle,” she murmured as she placed a kiss on the top of Jayla’s head. “I’ll find you a drink at the bar.”

She headed out the door, but Eagle held his spot. “Gonna be all right?”

I wasn’t sure if he meant her or me, but I nodded anyway. “Yeah. I’ll catch up with you in a minute.”

He hesitated before pulling the door closed behind him as he stepped out.

I sat there for God knows how long before I felt the tension in Jayla’s body slowly begin to soften. This was all so new. Jay and I had always had a special bond, but she’d also had one with Chelsea and other brothers and women around the club. But suddenly, since she’d been staying with me, our bond had strengthened. It was strange and I couldn’t exactly explain it. But I knew one thing, I loved this kid. And there was no way in hell I’d let anything hurt her, ever again.

I ended up laying down on my bed with her cuddled up next to me until she fell asleep. Her words resonated in my head the whole time, sending chills through me.

I knew now that things for her growing up had not been as innocent as we first thought. Maybe her mom, Hayley, had been scared to tell us the truth? Or maybe she had something to hide herself? I needed to talk to Wrench some more and see what we could find out. I needed to be prepared.

It was a good hour before I detangled myself from Jay and headed back downstairs.

Optimus stood at the bar chatting quietly with his woman. He looked up when he heard me approach. “Judge called.”

“The room is soundproof, but we have ears inside,” Hadley explained quietly. Skins had disappeared but she assured me he was nearby. It was too much of a risk to have him seen with me. We didn’t want to raise any kind of suspicions. “I’ll be right here. If you’re desperate and need help, bang on the door and I’ll come straight in.”

I wasn’t sure what she intended to do if I needed help that urgently. We were both a lot smaller than
that man
waiting for me in
that room
. But she seemed confident, so I breathed a little easier.

I had to forcibly tell my body to stop shaking, and even then you could still see the small tremor in my hands. I hoped that I’d be able to disguise it as long as I kept my body moving. The rooms were for private dances only. Iris explained earlier during our tour of the space that the men who enter must sign agreements to say they won’t touch the girls.

I hoped Edge would keep to his agreement.

I pushed the door open and slipped inside, leaning against it until it clicked shut again.

The lights were dim, but I could see my target sitting in a large armchair that was centered against one of the walls. The rooms weren’t big and with his massive frame inside it, I felt like no matter where I stood, he could reach out with his hand and grab me.

There was another smaller wooden chair placed in the corner, something some of the girls used for their routines.
Maybe if he attacked me, I could hit him with it?

“You Lily?” a deep voice growled.

I took a deep breath and lifted my chin, taking two steps so I was standing in front of him. He was so tall that our eyes were almost level even with him hunched in the chair.

Forcing a smile, I placed my hands on my hips. “Yeah, it’s nice to meet you, mister…” I let it hang in the air. I wasn’t supposed to know who he was, so I played dumb.

He huffed. “Edge, people call me Edge.”

I nodded and moved over to where there was a small stereo system embedded into the wall. I hit play and the music played softly through the room. “It’s nice to meet you, Edge.” I turned back to him with an eyebrow raised curiously. “Your parents name you that, or is it a nickname?”

My body swayed to the music which started out slow and would begin to build.

Edge pointed to his leather MC cut, his finger resting on the patch that read ‘VVMC.’ I already knew what it stood for but I asked anyway.

“What exactly is VVMC?” I tilted my head, trying to look innocent. I continued to dance, trying to keep my eyes focused on him as much as possible.

His eyes centered on me, they never left. The strange part was, he wasn’t roaming my body with them or ogling me. Even as I had danced on the stage, his friends leered at my body making me feel like a piece of meat.

Edge was different. His eyes stayed on my face like he was more interested in what was going on inside my head than what I was doing with my body.

“Vicious Vulture Motorcycle Club.” The words were slow and pronounced. He scrubbed a hand across his short hair and blew out a long breath. “Look, can you just stop please?”

I froze, looking over my shoulder. “Huh?”

He let out a short laugh and pointed to the small chair in the corner. “Just sit down.”

I frowned, my mind racing.

Had I screwed up? Did he already know who I was?

“Um, you paid for this… I think I should probably keep—”

He laughed again, this time a little louder. “My brothers out there paid for this. I don’t give a shit if we waste their money.”

I chewed on my lip. This hadn’t been what I was expecting. I had pumped myself up, thinking I was going to seduce this man. But he just wanted me to sit down, and what?
Chat?

He seemed amused by the state of indecision I was in. “Just sit already. You’re making me feel awkward.”

I turned and grabbed the chair, placing it a safe distance away from him—if that were even possible in this small space—before sitting down. He leaned back in his chair, lifting one foot and placing it on his opposite knee. It was like this was a casual meeting like he was just catching up with an old friend.

“I actually think Rosalie suits you better.” He nodded like he was agreeing with himself. He must have seen my eyes widen and a satisfied smirk crossed his face. “You know you can upload a picture and it matches that picture with others on the Internet of people who look similar.”

My heart was pounding, I could feel every thump all through my body. The force was so strong that my chest began to ache. “I don’t like to be called that anymore.” My voice was tight. I tried to stay calm but every part of me was pleading to see Skins bust down that door any second.

Shrugging he held up his hands. “No offense intended. We can stick with Lily if that makes you feel better.”

I folded my arms across my chest, it made me feel a little more secure, maybe even protected, having something in between us. It also made me look a little stronger than I felt. “Where are you going with this?”

“What is a
DePalma
doing all the way over here in Arkansas?”

One thousand thoughts rushed through my brain. The way he emphasized the DePalma name told me that he was more interested in that than anything else. Maybe he didn’t know everything after all.

“So you know who my family are?”

Edge chuckled. “Everyone knows who your family are, babe.”

“Criminals know who my family are,” I corrected.

His smirk grew. “Touché.”

“You and your boys have some kind of ploy now that I’ve been outed?” I was impressed with myself. I managed to sound stronger than I was feeling. Even throwing him a bit of attitude. I had to remember, he saw me as a DePalma, and no DePalma would ever back down without a fight.

“Naw, babe,” he answered with a small shake of his head. “The boys don’t even know. I had Rip send me the picture he took before that old woman who runs the place came over and made him delete it.”

Thank fuck for that.
I could only imagine what would happen if that picture got out. And as much as I wanted to dislike Edge, I think he knew better than to leak anything that could piss off a mafia family, no matter how big or strong his club was.

“It’s weird, though, I thought Anthony only had one daughter.” I knew he was fishing for info. And I didn’t care. He could have it if it took the heat away from what I was really doing here.

“He’s my uncle. His brother Marco was my dad.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Do I need to be worried that you’ve got the crazy gene then?”

I couldn’t stop the laugh that came, and in return, he gave me a small smile. “Heard about him then?” He lifted his chin. “Didn’t meet him until a couple years back. My mom took off with me before I was born and refused to tell me who my dad was. When I found him, I figured out why.”

Edge’s face softened and he placed both his feet on the floor. He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. Now he was more in the light I could see his face a little clearer. He was handsome. Bristles covered his square jaw and just above his lip. They were dark, hiding his face like a light shadow. His eyes were dark brown, almost blackened in the light, but what didn’t match was the lighter colored hair that was cut short on his head.

“What’d he do to you?”

I almost thought he sounded concerned, maybe even a little empathetic. I tried to shrug it off like it was no big deal like it didn’t weigh me down anymore. “Like you said, he was crazy. All I’ll say is I got to experience that shit first hand.”

His hands gripped tightly together in front of him and his features tightened. “I feel you.”

The music that had been playing in the background filled the silence.

“Still, doesn’t really answer my question about why you’re here.” He prompted me again.

The thoughts in my head scattered, nothing definite coming to mind.

Why was I here?
To bring you down.

In the end, I went with the truth—well, as truthful and I could get without him wanting to stab me. “I don’t fit in there.” My shoulders slumped and I sagged in my seat. “It’s too much pressure to be perfect, to not taint your family name. I’m not perfect. I do stupid shit all the time.” I gestured to myself, waving my hands all over my body and indicating my outfit and where I was.

Edge nodded. “Yeah babe, I get it.”

There was a loud ding sound in the room indicating our time was up.

He pushed on the arms of his chair, forcing his body up to stand at full height. I followed suit, sliding my chair back discreetly so I could have a little more space between us.

He took a step, reaching for the door handle.

“Edge?”

He looked over his shoulder at me.

“I’d appreciate if you didn’t tell anyone about this.” I pulled at my outfit nervously. Even though we’d formed some sort of connection, I needed to make it deeper, more intense if I was going to get him to trust me. And the only way to do that was to ask him to keep a secret so he felt like he was in control. “I might not fit in with my family, but I still love them. I don’t want to embarrass my uncle.”

“You in tomorrow?” he asked casually.

I shrugged. “I can be.”

“Same time, same room. This time, you’re paying.” A grin spread on his face, showing me all his white teeth.

I laughed. “Will there be dancing this time? Because if I knew we were just gonna chat, I would’ve worn sweat pants.”

He chuckled as he pulled the exit open. “Wear whatever you want.”

I stood at the door and watched him walk away down the dark hallway. Many emotions rushed through my body at that point. Relief. Surprise. Confusion.

It had all gone so completely different to what I was expecting. I went in there thinking I was going to tease and entice this man with my body, but that wasn’t the case at all. We’d had a civilized conversation. He seemed level-headed and reasonable, nothing like the way Judge and the club had described the Vicious Vultures.

“You’re okay!” Hadley popped up in front of me, grinning from ear to ear. “How did it go?”

“It was different… weird. But we’re meeting again tomorrow night, so that’s a win, right?” I forced a smile. Edge seemed normal, caring even, as I told him about Marco. I suddenly had a sinking feeling in my gut.

A feeling I’d felt before, not so long ago. And I had to wonder if I could put myself through it all over again.