Blood and Redemption (Cassandra Myles Witch Series) (5 page)

“No, I only want you to spend time with me if it’s what you want.” He smiled and
, on impulse, I kissed him on the cheek.

“Killian, spending time with you as a friend isn’t something you have to force me to do. I’d love to have a fun night with no brooding involved.”

He laughed. “You’re one surprise after another. It might be worth it to get involved with you, even with the fear of Quintus hanging over my head.”

“As friends
, Killian… so why do you think he was okay with me going with Declan? He said he didn’t like it, but he didn’t stop it.”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t talk that much about what happened except to curse every fae in existence.”

“Well, I can’t blame him. He has a long history with them and now I’ve proven he was right after all. That door should never have been opened.”

“Don’t own that
, Cass. You didn’t walk in there on your own and you struggled with the decision. You weren’t even told the whole story. There is a lot of blame to go around. It’s not just yours.”

I heard what he was saying and it made sense, but my guilt monster wasn’t buying it
. Maybe someday, when I made things right.

“Can I shoot again?”

“Of course. My lady gets whatever she wants.”

We shot a big selection of guns so I could choose which one I liked best. I honestly liked them all. I had never shot a gun and now I wanted one strapped to every surface of my body. I was exhausted when we finally left and home was a welcome sight.

I ran straight for my room and right into the shower. I was tired, but I needed to talk to Quintus. He would be resting this time of morning and I knew if I didn’t talk to him now, I would chicken out and it wouldn’t happen. I had no clue what I was going to say, but I owed him this conversation. I needed to make him promise not to interfere with whom I chose to spend time. I dried off and put on my PJs.

He told me to come in before I even had a chance to knock. I would never get used
to the super hearing. His room was so dark I couldn’t even make out the outlines of the furniture.

“I can’t see a thing.”

“Just come to the bed. I’m relaxing. It’s been a hard night.” He sounded bone weary. My heart ached a little at all the pressure he must have beenfeeling
.
Then I got mad at myself for feeling sorry for him. Then I second guessed myself and thought I should give him the benefit of the doubt. I was very screwed up.

I didn’t visit his room enough to be able to navigate it in the dark
. I expected the bed to be a little further away and slammed right into it, folding in half over the bed.

“Take my hand
, Cassandra. Come lie beside me. I have a feeling you want to talk about something I’m not going to like.”

Sometimes I felt like he could read my mind. He always seemed to be one step ahead of me. I got in under the covers
, only to discover he was naked.

“Umm
, you’re not wearing anything.”

“I know, but you can’t see me and you’re wearing your PJs
.”

I crawled into his bed and he pulled me close. If he was trying to make it hard to have this conversation
, he was doing a good job.

“I’d like to talk about some
things. I feel like we need to clear the air. I don’t like feeling tension between us.”

“Neither
do I, Cassandra. I know my confession of wanting to be with you has changed things. I just couldn’t go on anymore without telling you.” He pulled me closer and I tried my best not to be stiff in his arms. “I love you. I want you to be mine. I’m a very powerful man. It’s my fault that you were kept in the dark about who I am, what I’m capable of. I knew what had happened to your parents. I didn’t want that girl I picked up in that hotel room five years ago to come to a home where vampires were eating their lunch right in front of you, or where you heard what I have to do sometimes to maintain order in my territory.”

“I can understand that and I’m grateful, but I haven’t been that girl for a very long time.”

“I know, but it became habit and I grew to love you. I didn’t want you to hate me, even though I knew the longer I kept everything a secret, the more you would resent me when you found out, or worse, you would leave.”

“I understand your reasoning, but you did the same thing to me that Declan did, except I now know what Declan lied about. I still don’t know what you haven’t told me.”

“I’m not a fan of being compared to your wolf, but I have to admit we both lied to you about who we really are.” He sighed. “I don’t even know where to start. I hate that I’ve made you mistrust me, my love. What can I do to make you trust me again? I’ll do anything.”

“I don’t know if just telling you to do something will er
ase all the lies, but you mean so much to me. I know you meant well, but I need you to stop sugar coating everything and be honest with me. I’m not some fragile flower.”

“I know
, Cassandra, and I need a strong partner. I was foolish to think otherwise.”

“I don’t …I love you
, Quintus, but not as a lover. I love you as a friend and someone who means the world to me. I’m sorry.” For the first time in my life, I was afraid of him. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

“Are you frightened
of me, Cass?” He hadn’t raised his voice, but there was definitely an edge to it. “I would never harm you. You don’t see me that way because I have acted more like your father. That’s going to change.”

“I think that may be
part of it and trust me it’s not that I don’t think you’re gorgeous, but what we have isn’t romantic.”

“It will be. When you trust me again and you know how powerful I really am, you will come to me as my lover and partner. I know you don’t owe me anything, but give it time
; you’ll see.”

What could I say to that? I had used all my courage telling him the first time. Now my only option was telling him again and again
. I couldn’t intentionally hurt him. I knew I wouldn’t ever love Quintus the way he wanted me to, but I did want to know the real him. I wanted to know what he was capable of.

“Is there anything you’ve done lately that I should know?”

“You know I’ve compelled Lucius to stay away from you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but you care too much for him to see how dangerous he really is. I won’t take it off. Your safety is more important than anything and he is very capable of killing you.”

“I know
. I understand. I just wish you had told me. I thought he hated me.”

“The person he is now may hate you. I think you might have to deal with that. If we are being honest
, my love, I hate even to think about this myself, but you have to face the possibility that there may come a time when I have to give Lucius the final death. It will be a last resort, but if he has harmed people or lost his control totally, then I can’t let him live. It’s vampire law and I have to abide by it.”

“No, there is always another way
. You can’t do that; we can lock him up before that happens, please.”

“I don’t want to and right now there is no reason to, but you wanted me to stop treating you like a child. This is how it had to be
, my love.”

I started to cry and he held me. Lucius not being anymore was not an option. I loved him
. Maybe I
was
a big baby who needed things sugar coated. Maybe Quintus was messing with me so I thought I needed him. Tonight I did. Quintus held me until I fell asleep. Tomorrow, I would figure out who was lying and who was telling the truth. Right now, my brain needed a rest.

Chapter Five

Quintus was gone when I woke up, but that didn’t surprise me. He didn’t really need sleep. He liked to rest and relax at some point every day, but work usually called to him and he was never down for long. When I realized it was three in the afternoon, I couldn’t believe it. I never slept that late. A knock at the door startled me. Before I could think of it, I welcomed whoever it was in.

Lucius came striding in
.
I knew immediately he wasn’t the same man who told me he loved me yesterday. He looked at me like I was prey. My heart sped up and I tried my very best not to be frightened, but I was terrified. Despite this, I still wanted him. I looked at his naked chest. It was broad and defined. My mind might have known this Lucius was dangerous, but my body didn’t care. He looked at me like he knew exactly what I was thinking.

“You like what you see
, Goldilocks?”

His eyes never left mine as he sauntered over to the bed. Looking down at me, he sneered and
widened his stance, drawing attention to his hard cock straining the thin fabric of his bike shorts. My heart was racing. Lucius emitted an aura of danger and sex that was almost impossible not to give in to.

“Did you have sex with dear old Dad last night?” He leaned over and placed both hands on the bed. He inhaled deeply. “I can smell him all over you
.” His face was close to mine and I had to make myself return his stare. Licking his lips, he bared his teeth and gave me a feral grin. I could feel butterflies erupting in my stomach.

“You know I wouldn’t do that
, Lucius. I love you.”

He brought his knees up on the bed. I had to lean back on the pillow. His large body was now over me. “I know you care for him, but you
’re mine. He is not to touch what’s mine.” I swallowed the lump in my throat
.
“I am no one’s property. Yours or Quintus’. I know this isn’t the real you, Lucius would never talk to me this way.

He flipped his head back and laughed
.
“He might not say it that way, but he would be thinking it.” He took my face in his big hands, tracing my lips with his thumb. He leaned in and kissed me. His lips were firm and just the chaste kiss he gave me caused my face to flush and pleasure to course through my body. I gathered my strength and he let me push him away.

Cold eyes studied me. “I can hear your heart beating
, Cass. It’s thundering in your chest and I can smell you.” He took a deep breath. “It’s a mixture of arousal and just a hint of fear. I don’t know about you, but that’s pushing all my buttons.”

“You can smell what you like, but I still want you to leave.”

“Really? If I dip my hand in your cute little panties, I bet my fingers will come out all sticky and sweet.”

“Lucius
, stop!”

He looked at me like he just noticed I was there. “Cass, I’m so sorry. Please …don’t hate me.” His face had turned back to the man who had protected me and took care of me when I needed someone.

“We’ll figure it out. I know we will.” I pulled him into my arms. He was actually shaking.

“I should leave here. I could have hurt you. I could have…”

“No, you would never do that. Don’t leave, Lucius. We’ll find the cure for this, I promise. I’ll bring you the goblin king myself and you can drink him dry.”

He went still. I felt his soft lips against my neck and then in an instant I was alone
.
I could never be with Quintus; I was in love with his son. Even if Quintus was guilty of some heinous things, it still killed me to know how much this was going to hurt him. I had made a deal and committed to Declan, when I knew in my heart we would never make a good couple, no matter how much we cared for each other. My second chance came at the cost of his life. I wasn’t going to waste it by committing the same mistake all over again.

I la
y in bed for a long time, letting my body and mind calm down. I decided I needed to get a grip. Lucius needed that goblin blood to live and I had to deliver on my promise to seal that fae bitch back in hell. My love life seemed a frivolous worry after those two things. I was going to unlock my magic tonight if I had to use a blow torch and crowbar.

I found Quintus in his office
. He held up his index finger to indicate he would be with me in a minute. He was having a very heated discussion with someone on the phone, which ended in a very anticlimactic touch of a button.

“I miss an old fashioned phone; there is something very satisfying about slamming down the receiver.” He
looked up for the first time and smiled. “You look very refreshed this morning.” His eyes had an extra twinkle in them. “Maybe you should sleep in my bed more often.”

I instantly blushed.
“Quintus.”

He just laughed. At least he was in a good mood. “Are you ready for your lessons?”

“Yes, but I thought we might talk first.”

“Okay
. I will talk about anything you want.”

“What have you protected me from?”

“That is a very broad question. I will answer it with an extreme example, one I’m sure you’re not aware of. I have protected you from the dark side of our kind. Even the best of us are predators. We survive so long because our instinct to do so is very strong. I see you giving me your ‘duh’ look, so I will give you an example. When you first came here, everyone treated you very kindly. I was happy with how things were going, and then I came upon a small plot to kill you. Some of the younger vampires didn’t like having their baser ways curtailed. It was to look like an accident.”