BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (174 page)

Jake leaned over gathering her in his arms, "Marry me now Vivian."

"Jake, why does it matter if we wait another month and a half? What difference will it make?"

"I've waited all my adult life, I don't wanna wait anymore, let's just get it over with. Get it done, and then later, we'll have a big wedding."

"No Jake, we gonna do this once, and I'm certain, that one time will be plenty enough. Now, go get on my house."

"Gotta take the truck back and get the bike first." He was still in mumble mode.

"Okay, well - I'll see you at five-thirty, and please, be careful."

Sylvia sat on her daughter's bed, holding her face in disbelief. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Oh my goodness Crystal! I knew that you rushed into it too soon."

"The story of my life." She commented softly.

"What's done is done, she can't go back and I don't think she should, time for her to move on and place the focus on getting proper arrangements for him to see the boys." Shawn commented, standing in the door of the room. Sylvia looked from her daughter's bewildered expression to his. "Shawn, if what he says is true, that he didn't sign those papers, and didn't want that divorce, he deserves to be heard. He deserves a chance to give his side of things."

"He cheated on her, don't forget about that!"

"Shawn, that is up to Crystal to decide if she can forgive it or not, that's not up to us."

"What about all the other stuff Sylvia, should she forgive that too?!" Shawn asked, getting heated over it.

"If she chooses to, Shawn - it's her life! It was her decision to marry him, it needs to be her decision if she gives it another chance or not. Don't forget she has two sons, his two sons."

Shawn turned red and suddenly punched the wall, startling them all, Angela included who was sitting there, "Well you know what Sylvia - maybe if Armundo showed up on our doorstep, maybe you'd like to give him another try as well! After all, he has two kids, doesn't he? Not that he ever did them a bit of fuckin' good!" He stormed off down the hall, slamming the basement door.

Sylvia stood with her mouth wide open, "What in the heck is going on with him?" Neither Crystal or Angela could figure out that reaction. "Hang on here, I'll be right back."

"No mama, leave'im alone right now. Please, I don't want you two arguing about me. Besides, he's right. I don't need to rush back into anything, regardless of him signing those papers or not, the things that happened between us still exist. He still didn't have enough respect for me, for us, not to go to bed with Jeanine. He did that. Just because he felt we were separated is no excuse - which if you really think about it, says loud and clear, this marriage really didn't mean that much to him - or rather, I didn't. When he did it, I was still his wife. No, papah-Shawn is right, Isaac and Darren are not reason enough for me to go rushing back to him with open arms and all is forgiven. Just because he's their father, doesn't mean he's a good one."

Sylvia stood a moment looking from the door back to Crystal, saying, "Sweetheart, what you decide, you have to live with. I, nor Shawn should be the determining factor in which way you go. I just want you to be sure, and happy. You take as long as you need, to get where it's best for you to be, okay?"

Crystal nodded with an apologetic smile, "Okay mama." She'd been playing her music once more, at the moment, Diana Ross's, Summertime. A sure sign of her inner turmoil when the same song was played on and on.

"Now as for him, no no no, that was uncalled for. Excuse me."

"Mama don't get into no argument."

Sylvia walked on, heading down the basement stairs and then into the office, Shawn had boxes sitting out, and pictures and files stacked up when she came to the door, leaning there with her arms crossed. "What was that all about?"

He ignored the question a few moments, needing to get a grip on himself. The last thing he wanted was to upset her with what might be. Even so, the thought of it was eating him alive. In the core of his gut, he knew he was right, that he was on target with his theory on Armundo sr. the other thing that was eating him up, was how to resolve it? He was in a touchy mood, because now that he felt it so strongly, he wanted to act on it. He wanted to move on it, right now. That was impossible, because no one knew where he was.

He looked towards the door because he had to smooth it over with his wife, but she was no longer there. He walked out to look for her in the kitchen, not there either. "Geez..." He walked further down to where the washer and dryer was, the bathroom, not there. He glanced up at the ceiling above him, their bedroom, he could hear her walking around there. He made his way up the stairs and through the door, to see her coming out of their bedroom, purse over her shoulder.

"Hey, where you going?"

"To the store!" She snapped, moving onward.

"Wait, want me to go with you?"

"Hell - no!"

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too!"

He moved quickly behind her, his hand on the door to keep her from opening it. "I mean it, I'm sorry."

"I don't - give a shit! Now move your damn hand, because you done pissed me off! I left you alone, now you, leave me the hell alone!"

"Do you know you can get mean as hell, at the drop of a hat?"

"Might I suggest you stop dropping them? Now - move."

"Let me go to the store with you." He asked soft and low, by her ear, then kissed it.

"Don't do that again, I'on want you kissin' on me. I want you to leave me alone; now move Shawn!" She shoved her rear back at him to shove him away, her rump encountering his crotch, "Hmmm, that's a peculiar way to shoo a man away, doing that has an adverse effect on me." He simpered, refusing to take her serious or get mad. She spun facing him crossing her arms across her breasts. "Thought you brought back meat, steaks, with Vivian earlier?"

"That went into the freezer, I feel like something else, are you going to let me out the door?"

"Only if you forgive me, let me kiss you and you smile and mean it, otherwise, no."

Sylvia looked away and hated the grin that burst upon her face, making him chuckle seeing it, "See, you know you can't stay mad at me, don't even know why you try. Look at me." He coaxed with an index finger under her chin turning her his way. "I'm really and truly sorry for that, it was completely uncalled for."

"My words exactly, uncalled for, so why?"

"Can we talk about it on the way to the store?"

"By the looks of things, I have no choice."

"You're learning, you are, learning."

"Don't push it Shawn." She warned, now allowed to open the door and exit it with him right behind her.

In the car, as he drove he tried to form his thoughts to explain himself, and he'd better be quick about it because she didn't waste a moment, "I can't believe you brought Armundo up and compared him to Victor. They cannot be compared, Victor is nothing like Armundo."

"How do you know that? You lived with Victor or something?"

"I don't need to live with him to know he was nothing like Armundo."

"Em, how come you never talk about him much?"

"Armundo?"

"Yes, of course."

"He's dead, what am I supposed to say?"

"Can I give you a hypothetical?" He asked.

"As in question?"

"Of course."

"Go ahead."

"When he died, you two were getting along pretty good weren't you?"

"Yes, we were."

"What if he suddenly showed up on the scene, would you consider taking him back?"

"Shawn, what in the heck is this about?"

"This scenario with Crystal and Victor just got me to thinking that's all, answer it, would you take him back?"

"We're married, you and I, remember?"

"If he came back, we wouldn't be, would we? I mean, he would still be your husband, legally speaking, right?"

"This is ridiculous! He's not coming back, so there's no sense in us even discussing it."

"So humor me, just for the sake of discussion."

"Shawn... don't be crazy!"

"If he showed up on the scene, as Victor did today, and gave you some, I don't know, excuse for being away, and said to you, I love you, I want you back, please forgive me, or, whatever other bullshit might be said, would you take him back? Now think about it before you answer."

"I don't have to think about it Shawn, I - how can I say this? I was never, really in love with Armundo to start with. He, entered my life when I was very young and unable to deal with rebuffing someone like him."

"Like Crystal with Victor."

"Please stop comparing them Shawn."

"Sorry. Even though, it's pretty close a comparison."

"One difference Shawn, Victor is alive, Armundo is dead. Another difference, Crystal loves Victor, and I was forced to accept that I would be married to Armundo because I couldn't get rid of him."

"So you never loved him?"

"I can't explain it Shawn, there was this thing between us in where he took over my life and - I married him, because I was pregnant with Crystal-..."

"The way she was with Isaac by Victor."

"Shawn..."

"My point is this, I don't feel that she loves him, anymore than you did Armundo. She may think she loves him, but that's because she was a vulnerable little girl, getting attention for all the wrong reasons - left on her own to make her own decisions. Sylvia, he does not love her, the way a man is supposed to love the women he's chosen to be with for the rest of his life. She deserves to be loved by a man who can only see her, want her, under all circumstances, separated or not. And you should want that for her too, after all you went through married to the wrong man."

Sylvia sat quiet, refusing to say another word, she couldn't for the life of her, understand how Armundo came into the picture all of a sudden when he was dead and gone.

"Am I right, or wrong?" He urged.

"Whatever you say Shawn."

"Now don't be like that."

"Shawn, this conversation don't even make sense to me, you comparing Victor and Armundo, makes no sense to me. So, whatever you say - I'm not gonna be arguing with you about it. Doesn't matter how right you are, or wrong I am, or right I am, or wrong you are - Crystal will do - what Crystal decides to do! That is my point! I just want - her happy - period."

Shawn drove on, falling silent, knowing full well when he'd said enough and it was time to be quiet and change the subject, which, handling the Mustang offered him the opportunity to do, they needed to trade it in. "We should start looking for a trade-in deal for a van, don't you think?"

"Whatever you say Shawn." She mumbled again.

He sighed, certain now that he'd pushed too far and gotten on her nerves. Yep, he would stir clear a while, leave the whole topic alone, and later on, he would give his friend Paul a call to ask a few questions on the possibilities of finding someone who for all intents and purposes, have been certified as dead, and this time, he would pay him to do the job. This, he did not want him doing in his spare time, he wanted him focused on fact finding and tracing. If Armundo Payne was alive and hiding out somewhere, he wanted to know where, and soon. To all parties concerned, they thought him dead and gone, when in fact, an aching feeling in his gut told him, that Sylvia, had buried her own brother. If that were true, he wasn't sure how he was going to share that fact with her. Feeling pain for her plight already, he reached over and gently took her hand in his, his thumb stroking her bony knuckles.

She glanced at him, didn't take her hand away. He lifted it to his mouth and kissed it.

"I love you - don't be mad at me, okay?"

She sighed, and returned the gesture, bringing his large hand to her mouth, kissing his knuckles. "Okay."

*

Kevin pulled into the driveway and immediately spotted his brother's car. He sighed, actually not in the mood to face Ben because of all the issues rolling around in his head. His thoughts were chaotic, and his feelings were choking him. He loved Ben, had always loved his brother, had always looked up to him, and stood by him fighting when and if he needed his back-up. But he felt a bit deserted by him. He'd gone off to Shawn, searching for the truth, something he'd always known he might one day do - however in his doing it, he felt abandoned by him. Yes, he'd kept in touch, emailing him - but it would have been nice, if he'd made the vacation something they did together. He would have paid his own way, that wasn't an issue. All these years, he'd included him in what he felt about, which man was his father and he'd been there every step of the way. But then, he seemed to break away from him, turning to Shawn on his own, shutting him out. After all, Shawn McPherson was his uncle, his family, his father's brother. Yet, since he'd come back, he hadn't opened his home for him, or Paul for that matter. He would have thought, that Ben would see that. That Ben would say, can I invite my brothers? I don't wanna leave them out. Obviously, no such thing had been spoken.

If that wasn't enough, the fact that he headed off with Shawn, hurt Jake - and when he steps up to the plate to say, "Dad, I'm here for you." What does he do? Moan and groan and cry over Ben; whom he feels, left them all. Growing up in the shadow of Ben, hadn't been so bad - but it would have been nice, for once, to have his own father, accept Ben's decision and turn to him knowing, that he at least had him, and Paul. But all he was to his father was another hand to help him reach his goals. His father simply brought him and Paul along, but Ben - he had doted on Ben. He remembered back over the years when he was around, he always handed Ben the money for them all. Hugged Ben first and said to Ben, good job, good son. Laughed at Ben's stories. Asked Ben what they wanted to do as if he represented him and Paul. Introducing them, his hand went to Ben's shoulder always, saying, "These are my boys, and my oldest son, Ben. Then, there's Kevin and Paul." Then! He'd tried often to overlook it. He'd tried often to discard the notion that his father preferred Ben over him, but the time came when he felt it was choking him. It reached the choking point when Ben left - when Ben chose Shawn, yet and still Jake was consumed with Ben; instead of being happy with his own two sons, his very own, oldest son!