Borrowed Magic (3 page)

Her breath caught at the beauty she was no
longer accustomed to and that seemed unreal, too perfect to
believe. Everything had been scrubbed clean. New velvet draperies
hung at the windows, and the stained-glass windows that made up an
entire wall of the ballroom had been replaced. They sparkled as the
moonlight filtered into the room, throwing thin shards of color
across the rose-colored marble floor that had been polished to an
almost mirror-like brilliance. She blinked, wondering for the
slightest of seconds if this was all a dream.

She pushed her way through the crowd,
acknowledging an acquaintance here and there, and feeling bombarded
with celebration. Kern was dead. His shadow didn’t haunt them.

But it still haunted her. She couldn’t
forget what he’d done. What she’d seen. She wasn’t sure she ever
would.

She forced those thoughts out of her head.
Tonight was for moving forward and forgetting the past. Everything
she desperately wanted to do.

Taking a deep breath, she wove her way
around the long tables that stretched the length of the room until
she stood in front of the head table. It was normally set for five
or six people, but tonight had been expanded to nine. Her usual
seat, the one on Adare’s right, was already occupied by Lord Teige,
who was engaged in an animated discussion with Adare. Maren’s eyes
drifted further along the table, only to find each seat filled. For
a brief moment, she just stood there, unsure of what to do.

“Maren!” Daric took her hands and placed a
kiss on each of her cheeks. “How are you, my dear? You look
absolutely stunning.”

As always, she couldn’t help but feel safe
with this man who was almost like a brother. “I’m well, Your
Majesty.”

He frowned but there was a sparkle in his
eye. “So formal?”

“It’s a formal occasion,” she said with mock
seriousness.

“Well, as long as you remember to call me
Daric when we’re not surrounded by all the ridiculous fools who
think it matters, I’ll forgive you.” He placed her hand on his arm
and motioned to the room. “Isn’t it amazing?”

“I’m not sure amazing covers it,” she
replied. “Miraculous, maybe. When did it all get done? I haven’t
even seen anyone working.”

Daric shrugged. “I don’t know. One of the
only perks of this job is that I don’t have to worry about details.
But I think Lord Teige had something to do with it.” He nodded
towards the tables. “I hope you don’t mind, but we rearranged the
seating tonight. Berk and Croy insisted on sitting near our new
heroes. I think they hope some of the awe will rub off onto
them.”

She choked on a laugh.

“Exactly,” Daric said with a grin. “Then
Teige asked to sit by Adare, which seemed more than appropriate.
And of course Philip is next to me. Which leaves one spot for
you.”

“But…” Glancing back up at the table, she
saw the empty spot next to Philip and felt her palms go moist.
She’d prepared herself to be in the same room as him, to maybe even
have to talk to him for a few minutes. She hadn’t anticipated being
his companion for the entire evening.

“No arguing.” Daric must have sensed her
hesitation. “Someone has to be Philip’s dinner partner. And I know
it’s something every woman here would die for. But you outrank them
all. Not to mention being the one I like best. And…” He gave her a
sad smile. “Sometimes the past needs to be put in the past. You
were friends once.”

“That seems a long time ago,” she said.

“Perhaps it’s time for new beginnings.”

Maren bit back her argument as Daric led her
towards Philip. Daric didn’t know the hateful things Philip had
said the day he left. No one did. They thought Philip had left
because of Kern.

Philip didn’t notice their approach, being
too caught up in conversation with the young women monopolizing
him.

“Excuse me, ladies,” Daric said with a
smile. “I’m going to steal Philip. Why don’t you take your seats.
We’ll begin momentarily.”

They weren’t exactly pleased, but what could
they do when the king had expressly told them to sit down? Still,
they couldn’t leave without one last comment to Philip, one more
curtsey, or allowing him to bow over their hands one more time.
Despite dreading what came next, Maren couldn’t help but smother a
grin. She turned an amused eye to Daric but caught Philip’s gaze
instead. For one second she thought she saw him return a knowing
smile before his face became an unreadable mask.

“Philip, you’re going to be the most envied
man in the room. I’ve arranged for Lady Maren to be your dinner
companion.”

Philip’s bow was stiff and formal. “I’m
honored.”

Maren placed her hand on his offered arm.
She felt his muscles tense slightly and glanced sideways to see his
jaw set in a firm line.

Which didn’t bode well for the evening.

They walked the few steps to their places in
silence. He held out her chair in silence. Then he took his seat
next to her. She stared straight ahead, wishing Daric would stand
up and call the room to order.

“Did you arrange this?”

At least he didn’t sound angry. “No.”

His brows drew together.

“It was Daric’s idea,” she insisted. “I
think he wanted to make—” She caught herself.

“Go on.”

“He wanted to make the other ladies
jealous,” she finished in a rush.

A smile tickled the corners of his mouth,
and she relaxed a little. It was the closest thing to the old
Philip she’d seen.

“Besides,” she shrugged. “He thought it
would be an honor.”

He stared at her with an intensity she
couldn’t pull away from. “But you don’t see it that way.”

There was no malice in his voice. He was
simply stating what he considered a fact. Which only made it worse
and reopened old wounds that tore at her heart. She wanted to
protest, to make him believe the truth, but why would he? He hadn’t
before. She clasped her shaking hands in her lap and was relieved
when Daric stood. The room went silent, leaving her staring at
Philip’s profile and wishing she’d never come.

At least for the next half hour she didn’t
have to talk. Daric gave a short speech, followed by numerous
toasts to Philip, the kingdom, and even the chefs – all of which
were heartily cheered. Then Philip was asked to say a few words. He
mumbled something incoherent under his breath and then stood. He
thanked everyone for their welcome, expressed pride in his kingdom,
praised all those who helped him, especially his friend, Lord
Tiege, and vowed to continue to do all he could to protect the
city. It was a short speech, and when he finished, the room erupted
in thunderous applause and a few more toasts to his name. He all
but sank into his seat when it was over, and she threw him a
sideways glance.

Just like the first day he’d arrived, she
wondered at his aversion to praise. And as she watched him, she
realized it wasn’t just that he didn’t like it. It was more than
that, as if he didn’t deserve it. Which made no sense, even if he
was no longer the boy who naturally claimed everyone’s attention.
Now he shrank from it. What had changed him? What had he seen or
done these past three years?

And then there was nothing left to do but
serve dinner. For the first course, Philip’s attention was claimed
by Daric, for which she was grateful. She picked silently at her
food and answered Lord Berk’s occasional questions. When the second
course was served, Daric turned his attention to Adare, leaving
Philip free to attend to her.

They ate in uncomfortable silence until she
felt him shift in his seat.

“I’d be remiss if I didn’t tell you how
beautiful you look this evening.”

She focused on her plate. “Thank you, My
Lord.”

He took a long drink. “Now it’s your turn to
attempt conversation.”

“I don’t have anything to say.”

“Why don’t you fill me in on all the gossip
I’ve missed. Who’s allied with who? What politically advantageous
marriages have been arranged?” He smiled around his drink. “Who has
Lady Kira aimed her daggers at now that you’re First Lady?”

Maren didn’t know whether
to laugh or cringe. Being First Lady had definitely
not
made her off limits
– it might have made things worse. “I wouldn’t know where to start.
So much has happened in three years.” She couldn’t keep the edge
from her voice. “Besides I might not be your best source. I do,
after all, ‘lie so well.’”

She had the satisfaction of seeing him
blush.

“I shouldn’t have said that, especially in
front of the queen. I was just surprised to see you there.” He
sighed and his head shook the slightest bit. “I’m sorry.”

“Is that going to be your excuse every time
you open your mouth before you think? Surprise?”

His hand clenched around his glass.

“I’m trying to be polite, Maren. You could
at least make an equal effort.”

She pressed her eyes shut, trying to block
out memories she couldn’t erase. “No, I can’t. I can’t talk about
what happened. I can’t relive it. We were prisoners in our own
city. The attacks didn’t stop. The food ran out. We thought we
would die.” Her voice faded to a whisper by the end.

He slowly set his glass down and leaned his
forearms on the table. “I’m so sorry. If I could have done anything
earlier, if I would have known, if—”

“If you would have trusted me?”

His hand clenched. “You lied.”

“No. I didn’t.”

“Then you didn’t tell me the truth.”

She met his eyes with all the courage she’d
acquired over the past three years. “I didn’t know the truth. But
you didn’t believe me then, and you don’t believe me now.”

Philip opened his mouth and then shut it
again as Daric tapped him on the shoulder and asked if he’d like
the honor of leading Adare into the first set.

Once he was gone she let out a long breath
and clasped her hands together, but her relief was short lived.

“Shall we?”

She looked up at Daric and frowned. “For the
first dance? Do you really want to make half the room angry?”

He shrugged. “They’ll forget all about it
the next time they want something. And what’s the point of being
king if you can’t do what you want every now and then.”

She was about to protest further when he
reached down and took her hand, pulling her to her feet. “Really,
Maren, do we have to have this argument every time?” His eyes
twinkled down at her. “I’m your king. You could try to show a
little respect – especially with everyone watching.”

“I could try, but you know me.” She wrapped
her arm through his. “I don’t much like autocratic commands.”

He grinned and led her to the head of the
set forming on the dance floor, knowing that at least for the next
ten minutes, she’d be able to enjoy herself, to not worry about
what she said, what Daric would think, or if he’d say something to
hurt her.

When the dance ended, he brought her hand to
his lips and bowed. “Thank you. Except for a dance with Adare, the
rest of the night will be too much duty, and not enough pleasure.”
He looked over his shoulder as his name was called. “Like I said,
duty.”

She watched him disappear into the crowd
before she felt, rather than saw, someone standing beside her.

“You’re even closer to them than you were
before.”

Her heart skipped a beat, and she wondered
if she’d ever grow accustomed to hearing Philip’s voice again, if
the memories would ever get less painful. “We were trapped together
for so long. We had to work together. We had to…fight
together.”

“So did everyone else. But for you it’s
different. It’s more. And from what I can gather, no one knows
exactly why.”

She felt the unasked question hanging in the
air between them. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“For heaven’s sake, Maren.” He folded his
arms across his chest. “The king chose you for the opening dance.
And it’s not because you’re First Lady.”

She shrugged – to his obvious
frustration.

Then he held out his hand. “Would you like
to dance?”

“No.” His mouth tightened, and she realized
how she must have sounded. “I mean, I don’t think it would be a
good idea.” Even though she wanted nothing more than to dance with
him. Even though the minute he asked her, she found it hard to
breathe.

“Maren, you’re my companion tonight. You
didn’t choose it. I didn’t choose it. But if I don’t ask you to
dance, it would appear strange.”

Her heart sank. He asked out of obligation.
Duty.

“Let’s try this again,” he continued,
sounding as if he was trying very hard to be patient. “Would you
like to dance?”

She looked him straight in the eye and
squared her shoulders. “Certainly, My Lord. After all, we must keep
up appearances.”

She thought she saw the briefest flicker of
hurt in his eye, but it was gone before she could be sure.

He escorted her to the floor where the music
had already started and slipped his hand around her waist. She had
to remember to breathe evenly and hoped he couldn’t feel her heart
pounding. This had definitely not been a good idea.

Then he began leading her through the dance,
moving in and out of the flow of twirling couples, and she almost
tripped over her own feet. Memories cascaded around her,
suffocating her with their intensity, and she suddenly felt fifteen
again, at her presentation.

She stood by herself,
watching the sets forming for the first dance. The other girls
already smiled across at their partners. Lady Kira, who faced the
very dashing Lord Timothy, glanced over at her and smirked.
Maren looked in vain for Philip. He hadn’t asked
for a dance tonight, even when the subject had come up, but she
still wanted to see him. Maybe the sight of a more familiar face
would help. But he must have decided not to dance. Or he’d asked
someone else and had already taken his place on the crowded floor.
For the first time in her life, she truly felt alone. And she
couldn’t watch anymore. She turned to leave when a strong hand
closed around her arm.