Boston Boys [01] - A Life Without You (7 page)

The reason why I don’t attend parties very often is because I get bored. I’m about to head up the stairs when I feel a cold bottle pressed into my hand.

“You look like you need one of these,” says Jazz, standing right up against me in the crowd.

I thank him with a little smile and take a swig.

He doesn’t say much else, so we sort of just stand there and I give him a few awkward smiles while his gaze is unwavering. The turquoise eyes look greener in the dimness of the hallway.

“Are you wearing contact lenses?” I ask and bring the bottle back to my lips.

“I get that all the time,” Jazz answers with a sexy smile.

“They’re real.”

“That’s so cool,” I say and dip my head back to drink.

When I swallow and tilt my head back to look down at Jazz he reaches up and plants his lips on mine. I’m so surprised that I don’t push him away. His tongue slides along the crack of my sealed lips, waiting for an entry. His hands crawl up my chest and rest on my shoulders. Now that he has his eyes closed and is standing so close to me, he reminds me so much of Jesse.

I loop my free arm around his waist and part my lips under his kiss. I’m a little taken aback by his nimble tongue as it meets mine. Kissing Jesse and kissing Jazz is definitely not the same.

It’s clear that Jazz has a lot of experience, but at the same time it doesn’t give me the electrifying, mind-numbing sensation that kissing Jesse did.

Jazz moans into my mouth and grinds his hard crotch against my hardening cock. It’s an invitation. I’m free to take him upstairs and fuck his brains out – Eric even made it easier by telling me Jazz bottoms. Before I came to this school, I wouldn’t have hesitated. But I do hesitate because thoughts of Jesse keep popping up and each and everyone of them send piercing pangs
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to my gut.

I break the kiss and put a finger between Jazz and me to stop him from going in for another kiss. We both pant and his eyes are hazy with lust.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him, still with the pangs pulsing in my gut.

“I can’t. You’re sexy as hell and probably a great guy, but…”

“But you’re in love,” Jazz finishes for me with a sad smile. I hate that he’s disappointed, but he shrugs it off, plants a little kiss on my cheek and leaves.

With a deep breath I wonder if I did the right thing or if I’m going to regret it later. I suppose I can always ask Eric if Jazz is available if I manage to rid myself off my feelings for Jesse. Ignoring the glances I get from my fellow students I turn to head up the stairs. I take one step up when my eyes connect with Jesse’s, four steps above me. His hand is resting on the banister, his other holding a red beer cup and he has this startled look on his face that I don’t understand. He gives me a quick half smile and then bolts up the stairs.

“Jesse!” I call through the pounding music, running up after him as fast as I can with the thick crowd in the way. I plow through the bodies in the hallway to get to Jesse, who’s struggling to get past a group of guys hooting while two in the middle are wrestling. I grab Jesse’s arm and pull him away only to be caught between two groups on either side, backing us against each other so that I’m standing ground against Jesse.

“Jesse,” I say to him, placing my hand around his waist so that he doesn’t get swept to the side with the crowd. My other goes under his chin to lift his face to mine. “I told him I couldn’t do it – I never meant to do it anyway.”

“It’s okay, Adam,” Jesse says, meeting my eyes. “You
should
be with guys. It was just a little weird to see.” There’s another push behind me and my body is brushed against his again, crotch to crotch. My cock is hard as hell from being this close to Jesse. His eyes widen when he feels it.

Yet another wave of bodies crush us together and this time A Life Without You
49

I lean my forehead against the side of Jesse’s head with a moan.

His fingers grab my biceps for support when he’s pushed against me again, sending another rush of pleasure-filled lust from my cock to my vocal cords. For a brief moment I think about how disgusted Jesse must be feeling with me getting off on him, but when I look at his face he just looks back with parted lips and what looks like lust of his own.

My mind is reeling and body trembling when we get pushed together yet again. I’m hot and horny for Jesse and I hold my breath when I feel his cock hard in his thin sports pants.

He clears his throat. “We should go.”

I nod and keep a tight hold on his waist as he navigates us past the people towards our room. The two doors closest to it are closed, and thereby not party-accessible, so the crowd thins out before we get there. I move my hands to Jesse’s hips, but I don’t let go even when he fishes out his keys, unlocks the door and enters the room.

My sigh of relief comes out as a needy moan when the door shuts and blocks out most of the noise. It takes me a while to realize that my fingers are digging into his hips and I’m breathing down his neck from behind. Jesse’s seems to be struggling for air just as much as I am.

His warmth, his smell, his presence make my whole existence spin. My cock pulses and throbs and oozes precome into my briefs. I swallow hard and head for the bathroom for the second time today. I yank my buttons loose as soon as I cross the threshold and pull my cock into upright position, its head peeking up from the waistband.

“Adam, wait.” Jesse calls and intercepts the closing door.

Although I’m dying for a release I let him enter if only for a few seconds to spew out yet another unnecessary apology.

I bite my lower lip as I gaze at his gorgeous mouth. His lips curve and flex as he tries to speak, but the farther down his gaze travels the less he tries to talk. His large tawny eyes rest on the head of my cock in a transfixed stare. The grip around his beer
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cup tightens as he swallows hard.

“Adam,” he murmurs.

He whimpers when I grab his wrist. His eyes go wide when I push him against the wall. I’m not thinking clearly. I’m not thinking at all. I’m acting on pure primal instinct.

“Adam –”

I press my body against his and cover his mouth with mine with a deep, lustful groan. My arm curls around his waist, and the other keeps his head still so that he can’t break free. He doesn’t even try to. His free arm is around my waist as well and he accepts my kisses and even opens his mouth for my tongue. I moan into his mouth when his tongue finds mine and we stand there, locked in a kiss, bodies pressed, hands grasping, tongues licking in a synchronized rhythm. Jesse’s cock is hard against my thigh, but I don’t move my hands to find it. Instead I force my foot between his and grind my crotch while my lips and tongue crush his.

When he breaks free with panting breaths I still have little control over what I’m doing. I kiss and lick his neck with a groan, I pull him closer and bite on his earlobe.

“Jesse,” I breathe and lick his ear, causing him to gasp.

My tongue runs from the base of his throat up to his jaw where I plant passionate kisses before I plunge into his mouth again. I pull away only to yank his t-shirt over his head and then I run my hands all over his soft skin.

Jesse’s throaty moans and shivering breaths echo in my ears.

“Adam, wait –”

I don’t want to hear it. My lips find his mouth and we’re kissing, licking, swallowing each others’ saliva. He smells so good, his cologne mixed with his own sexy man smell. The fact that I’ve aroused him has my own cock throbbing like a second heartbeat.

Jesse breaks away with heavy panting. His voice is a little hoarse when he speaks through his kiss-swollen lips. “Wait, Adam. I’m not gay.”

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“I know,” I whisper into his cheek and leave it at that.

Jesse whimpers as I bite his neck lightly, rubbing his skin with my tongue as I do. He still hangs onto the red cup while his other hand grasps the shirt on my back.

Somewhere in the back of my mind is a voice telling me I should just stick to kissing, but the caveman in me only understands that Jesse’s not pushing me away and that he’s responding to my advances. I’m deeply intoxicated by Jesse as I kiss his neck and fumble with the string on his pants. He moans against my head when I have his dick in my hand, but I don’t stop there. I sink down to my knees and shove his hard cock into my mouth with a deep groan.

Jesse gasps. “Adam, wait,” he pants between forced back moans. “You shouldn’t…”

I suck, and I suck on his silky smooth hardness. I have never had anything so wonderful in my mouth before. The skin over his erection moves soft as velvet as I aggressively suck his cock like the hungry man that I am. I groan deeply at the salty taste of his precome, licking it with his cock still in my mouth. His moans grow louder as I rub the head with my lips and gently cup his balls, stroking two fingers against the root of his length.

“Oh God, Adam,” he moans. “Oh fuck…” His half finished sentences are cut off by a deep, throaty groans.

I slide my free hand along his hip and over his ass to hold the base of his cock tight against my mouth with the tip buried in my throat. While my nose is nuzzled in the neat, blonde bush of hair, my left hand abandons his balls and slides up and down the taut muscles on his thigh, just touching whatever they can –

while they can. Jesse sounds close and I’m also at my limit with precome dribbling over my briefs.

“Adam, ngh,” Jesse moans. “Jesus…Adam.” He moans my name only because he’s trying to hold me back, but the sound of it has my heart drumming in my ears. If he comes, it’ll be over and I don’t want it to stop. So I hold still for a while, swallowing down saliva with his cock in my throat.

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“Ah! Adam! I can’t –”

His throbbing cock tells me that he’s about to climax. I also feel it in his tense muscles and hear it in the strain of his voice. I go back to sucking him, sliding his slick cock in and out, sucking on it hard and swirling my tongue around it with each stroke.

“Adam, Adam, wait…ngh. I can’t... Stop, I’m gonna...” I have no intention of stopping. I jab his cock deep in my throat with a euphoric groan when he spurts more precome for me to taste. Jesse arches his back with a cry and thrusts the base of his cock against my mouth. Another high cry bursts out when his cock erupts in my throat. At the same time Jesse crushes the beer cup and the liquid sloshes onto the floor, soaking the knees of my jeans. I swallow his salty fluid and moan loudly while I suck him clean.

His body is writhing, rattling like his breath. He slides himself down to his knees so that he’s facing me. My own body is trembling, my dick is pulsing in my pants, and I have to labor for every bit of air that reaches my lungs.

I can’t look him in the eye. He must feel disgusted – ridden only by the primal need to orgasm a moment ago.

I jump out of my reverie when Jesse runs his fingers through my hair and that’s when I dare look up into his eyes. He’s not angry. He’s not shocked. His look is so intense that my breath catches. He pushes my briefs down to reveal my full length and pulls me into a hug while he wraps his shaking fingers around my cock.

I hold my breath for as long as I can while he jerks me off.

Then I release it in short bursts into the soft hairs around Jesse’s neck. “You don’t have to do this,” I whimper and cut back a moan.

His voice is still a little hoarse and he’s still trying to ease the flow of air that passes past those wonderfully swollen lips of his.

“It’s just skin, right?”

I swallow back a moan. “Right.”

A Life Without You
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He doesn’t have to work on me long before my sperm splatters his hand. We stand on our knees, pressed tightly together for a while. Me in ecstasy, him probably wondering how to stand up and leave the bathroom without hurting my feelings.

“I’m not gay,” he repeats.

“I know,” I whisper into his neck, which makes him shudder.

“Just put it down as college experimentation or some such to shock your kids with in the future.”

His chest bounces against mine when he laughs. “No way am I telling anyone I just did that.”

“Do you regret it?” I ask. “Did I force you into it?” He hesitates for a bit before answering. “No. But it can’t happen again, okay? I know it’s unfair to you, but I just…I can’t…Anne…”

I pull back and give him a weak smile. “I understand.” His eyes look sad as he watches me.

I lower my gaze to the beer-puddle on the floor and ask the question that I haven’t been able to shake for two whole weeks.

“Jesse, are you bi?”

I can feel him watching me, but I can’t bring myself to look up to read his face. His seconds of silence have my mind spinning with questions and heart-wrenching hope.

“No,” he finally says with a breath. Then with a sigh he adds,

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

I look up and the hope in my heart must be screaming out because he shakes his head while he struggles with what to say.

“You don’t know? Maybe you should break up with Anne if you’re not sure about your sexuality. I’ll even stay clear of you until you figure it out. I’ll –”

“Adam,” Jesse cuts me off with a sad smile. “I don’t know if I’m bi even though I really,
really
liked what we just did. And even if it turns out I
am
bi then that means that I also like girls. I’m still going to marry Anne. I’m so sorry if I got your hopes up,
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but it’s best if you just cross me off that list, okay? I hate seeing you hurt because of me.”

He stands up and awkwardly rinses his hand in the sink while I drop down next to the beer-puddle to sit on the floor with my back against the wall.

“Um, is it okay if I leave? I’m completely spent.” He gestures towards our bedroom. “I’ll clean the beer up in the morning.” I nod, and as soon as he steps out and closes the door I release every bit of air from my lungs before I fetch a rag to mop up the beer.

There’s noise in the hallway, which is unusual since it’s not even noon yet. Since our room is at the very end of the hall, not sharing a wall with the other rooms, we usually can’t hear the other boys when our door is closed. But they’re hollering downstairs like a bunch of beasts watching a game of football.