Bound by Steel (11 page)

I’m speechless as she glides across the room and right into my arms. This is where she is supposed to be. Forever. I nuzzle into her neck and drown in her heavenly scent. It’s been way too long. “I miss you so damn much, Bella.” I’m so emotional I can barely speak.

Holding my face in her hands she replies, “I miss you too, Ry. But you’re forever in my heart. So, this is goodbye. I’m setting you free.” No, I won’t let her go! I can’t. When I begin to protest, she places her fingertips against my lips. “Read the last note I left you and find comfort in knowing I’ll always remember you.” Then with a brush of her lips on mine, she’s gone...

My chest aches as I open my blood-shot eyes. It was just a dream. But when I recall what she wrote in that note, a low growl rises from deep inside of me. I don’t have to read it, when I’ve memorized the damn thing!
“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
My head starts to pound as the door bursts wide open and she glides into the room. A sense of déjà vu sends chills up and down my spine. Am I still dreaming? Is it Bella or Lyra? I’m so confused.

“You’re drunk, Ryker. I’ll help you up the stairs.” Ah, it’s my precious. When I stumble over my own two feet, she’s there to catch me. “C’mon big boy, let’s get you into bed.”

Once we’ve climbed the stairs, she sets me down and proceeds to undress me. Normally, I’d be full on board with it, but not right now. I’m exhausted and maybe a little drunk, so all I want to do is sleep it off. After tucking me in, she gently combs her fingers through my unruly hair. It feels so good that my eyes begin to drift. But when I feel her lips touch mine, my eyes pop wide-open. And I watch her watching me. When she doesn’t speak, I tilt my head. “Precious?”

Lyra

Dammit! I shouldn’t have tried to kiss him. Now he’s looking at me like I was trying to take advantage of him. Well, maybe I was but apparently he’s not as drunk as I thought. When I give him my best “I’m sorry” smile and turn to walk away, he captures my wrist and pulls me down on top of him. Yeah. Now I can definitely feel how quickly he’s sobered up.

My hands are trapped between our chests. Without warning, he pulls me down until his lips lightly brush against mine. I can taste the whiskey on his breath and feel the roughness of his beard against my chin. I want more. Give me more! When I open my eyes, his intense gaze is locked on mine. “What are you doing to me, precious?”

We’re a breath apart, so I whisper, “The same damn thing you do to me, Ryker.” Understanding and acceptance smolder in his eyes before his mouth captures mine. I whimper as his tongue glides over the seam of my lips, begging me to open up to him. And when I do, he consumes me in the most intimate way. This is exactly what I’ve been craving and he refused to give me. No more. Now he’s claiming me with every stroke of his tongue.

“Mm... I knew that’s how you would taste, precious.” He croons as he flips me onto my back. And I’m winded and panting by the time he sits back on his heels and tugs down my pants. Panties and all. After tossing them on the floor, he lightly skims his hands over my calves, up my thighs and under my shirt. I’m no longer wearing a bra so he has easy access when he uses his thumb and forefinger to tweak my nipples. I’m a writhing mess when he sits me up so he can throw my shirt in a heap on the floor. When I lie back down he scrutinizes every inch of me as if it were the first time he’s ever seen me naked.

When Ryker lifts his arms over his shoulders to pull off his shirt, it’s my turn to admire the view. The lines and cut of his body are pure perfection. I’m fascinated when his nimble fingers quickly unbutton and unzip his jeans without missing a beat. And when he stands up only long enough to kick them off, I already miss the weight of him surrounding me. Subconsciously, I hear my mother’s voice. “The heart wants what the heart wants.” And without a doubt, mine wants all of him. The good, the bad, and everything in between. I am so far gone, I can’t be stopped.

I wait for him to turn me on my side or onto my stomach, but instead he blankets me with his body. He’s covering me in his warmth and wrapping me up with his heady scent. His intense gaze locks on mine when he places all of his weight on his elbows. And when he cups my face in his hands he whispers against my lips, “Just for tonight, precious, I’m breaking all the rules.” And then his mouth is slowly moving over mine. Tasting me. Savoring me. And possessing me with just one kiss. Until I’m on fire as his tongue curls around mine in a tender, graceful dance that leaves us both needy and breathless. “I want you, Lyra.”

Wrapping my hands around his wrists, I whisper, “I’m right here.” A groan escapes him as his knees gently part my legs and he places himself at my center. I’m already slick with my own desire as I skim my hands over his muscular chest and down his rocky abs, and grab ahold of what I want. God, I love the way he feels. Silky and smooth, yet thick and hard as steel. And the way his cock pulsates in my hands, it’s as if it has its very own heartbeat. When he leans his forehead against mine I guide him inside of me.

“Fuck, Lyra, you feel so damn good.” When his hips find a rhythm I wrap my legs around him. Giving myself completely to him. And when he treads his fingers through mine and pins them to the mattress above my head, I whimper. “Open your eyes, precious, because this is the first and last time I’ll be making love to you.” My heart unravels, bit by bit, as I stare into his wicked black ones. His words cut me and cure me all at once. Just the thought of him making love to me sends me in a tailspin and I know right in this moment that I’ve fallen in love with him. My lip quivers and the tears threaten to fall. “Stay with me, Lyra,” he breathes into me when his lips find mine. I’m so close to shattering as he pulls out, then slams into me over and over again until I can barely remember my name.

“Ryker... ” he lets go of my hands and pushes my knees into my chest. Oh, my god. So deep. “I’m coming... ”

“That’s it, precious. I want to feel you come on my cock.” The instant I fall to pieces, his lips crash into mine and he falls apart all around me. Inside of me. “Fuck... ” he cries out as his body shudders against mine. My heart aches when his lips press against the base of my throat. And his beard tickles as he nuzzles into my neck. We linger for a while as our breathing slows. Neither one of us wants to be the first to let go. “Lyra, I’m sorry... ”

Rage erupts inside of me at his pathetic attempt at an apology. “No, Ryker. Don’t you dare apologize! I know you want me just as much as I want you, so don’t!” I break. I can’t hold it back any longer. All the tears I’ve been pushing down for so long come to the surface and tumble down my cheeks. Drowning me in their intensity until I can no longer breathe. And when his lips capture all of my tears, I shatter.

“Just breathe, precious. I’m right here.” Oh, my god. If he only knew I don’t ever want to let him go. “Breathe, baby,” he whispers before his lips meet mine. ‘Baby’? God, I feel like my heart is about to burst with love. And when I feel him thicken inside of me, I’m complete. His hands immediately frame my face as he gazes down at me. “What? Did you think once was enough?” When I bite my bottom lip and shake my head, he says, “Good. Because it’s your turn, precious.” He rolls us over while he’s still inside of me. When he positions my legs so I’m straddling him, I begin riding him while he guides me. “Yeah, just like that, precious.”

Chapter Fifteen

Ryker

The taste of her still lingers on my lips. While her scent clings to my body like a second skin, seeping into my every pore. Devouring me. God, I am so fucked!

I step under the piping hot water and begin washing off all traces of her. Not that it really matters, because she’s already embedded deep beneath my skin. Last night I broke every single rule I’ve ever made, but Lyra was so worth it.

I let my mind wander as the water soothes my weary bones. And I’m not surprised when I remember the quotes Bella had written down so long ago.
“Dry thine eyes, too; ‘tis vain to keep this causeless grief for years.”
It’s from a poem by Emily Bronte called
Encouragement.
Since my job was so dangerous, Bella and I often talked about death. We both agreed that we’d move on if something happened to either one of us. I didn’t tell her that I had all my fingers and toes crossed at the time. God, I never thought in a million years that I’d be the one left standing. Bell’s love was so pure and unconditional that I wanted her to share that love with someone, even if it couldn’t be me.

Now it’s my turn to walk away from Lyra. So she can live the life she was meant to before meeting me. Besides, even if I wanted to be with her, I’m sure it’s too late to stop what Cole has already started. For the first time in a long time, I can’t breathe. And then Lyra wraps me up in her arms and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I can take a heartfelt breath. Albeit, short-lived.

“Morning,” she whispers, as her lips press to the curve of my back.

I was so lost in my own thoughts, I never heard her enter the shower. Dammit! Now I know what I have to do and it’s going to kill me. But it’s necessary. “Morning, precious,” I murmur without an ounce of emotion. And when I remove her arms from around my waist, my heart breaks. “Lyra, have you forgotten? Today starts a new day, which means you have to abide by the rules.”

When I hear her choke back a sob, I want to fall to my knees. But instead, I quickly turn around and grab her wrists. I want her to hate me so when she has to leave it won’t hurt so much. “Unless, you want me to fuck you from behind against the shower wall.” I cock my head to the side and give her my most menacing stare. When inside I’m dying a slow death as I watch her tears tumble down her flushed cheeks.

“No, Ryker. In fact, I don’t want you to ever touch me again!” She yanks free from my hold. I have to stop myself from going after her as I watch her stumble out of the shower. I convince myself it’s for her own good. But is it really? Yeah, it is. Because my life will never be my own and that’s not the kind of life I want for her. So, I rest my palms and my weary head against the wet tile and pray for the water to wash away my countless sins.

I spend the remainder of the day hidden in my office like a coward. Only coming out long enough to use the bathroom and check up on her. From what I can see, Lyra and Cody have been in the library with the door closed all day. She’s probably been planning my murder, and I wouldn’t blame her. Because I giveth and I taketh away… That’s just who I am.

I contemplate sleeping in here on the couch, but I decide against it. We’re bound to run into each other sooner or later. So why not meet in bed where it all began?

I notice the library door is open as I walk into the kitchen to get something to drink. I’d like to snatch what’s left of the whiskey, but since that was the cause of all this angst, I leave it on the counter and grab a bottle of water instead. After finishing up in the bathroom, I head upstairs. Lyra’s curled up under the covers with Cody lying on the floor beside her. “Turncoat,” I mumble. And I have to chuckle when she lets out a half-whine-half-yawn kind-of-thing before resting her chin on her paws.

Somewhere in the middle of the night we’ve became a tangled mess of arms and legs. And wouldn’t you know, my morning hard-on is pressed against her hand which is tucked between us. Fuck! This is so not good. If I move, she might let go or she could squeeze harder. Shit! What to do, what to do? My wicked side says to go for it but after everything that’s happened I can’t touch her. Ever again. But if I piss her off, she’ll hate me all the more.

Placing my hand over hers, I begin rubbing. And damn if I don’t get harder and harder with each fucking stroke. When her eyes open-wide I get in her face and say, “That’s it, precious. Make me come in your hand.” Technically, I’ll come in my boxers but I think she gets the gist.

Lyra suddenly has my undivided attention when her hand connects with my jaw.

“Rub one out yourself, Ryker. Or better yet, go into town and fuck Sonia. I’m sure she’s been wondering where the hell you’ve been.” Flinging off the covers, she storms down the stairs with Cody close behind. Wow! It looks like I’ve lost both of my girls in just twenty-four hours. Way to go, asshole. Well, it’s what I set out to do. So, mission accomplished.

The tantalizing aroma of coffee has me throwing on a pair of my pajama bottoms and heading downstairs. She looks miserable all curled up on the couch. Her hands wrapped around a steaming mug of coffee. Pouty, but adorable. Lyra must have let Cody out because she’s nowhere to be found. So I throw in a pod to brew and patiently wait, stealing a glance in her direction. I catch her ogling me when she thought my back was turned. Now her cheeks are a pretty shade of pink. Suppressing a smile, I rub my jaw where her hand connected with it. God, for a tiny little thing she sure packs a hell of a punch. Once my coffee is finished, I pull up a stool and sit down at the island. Until Cody begins barking and all the hair on my body stands at attention. Someone’s coming and she’s trying to warn me.

Lyra

“Lyra, go upstairs. Now!” Ryker screams. He grabs something out of the cabinet, and it takes a minute for me to process what he’s holding. It’s a goddamn gun! In a flash he’s grabbing me by the arm and dragging me down the hallway. “You’ll be safer in my office. Go, go!” Everything’s happening so fast I don’t have time to think. And seconds later all I can hear is shouting from the other side of the door.

The voices are very loud but muffled. So, it’s safe to assume Ryker’s office has to be soundproofed to some degree. I hate not knowing who’s on the other side or what’s happening for that matter. A sudden thought has me spiraling out of control. Is someone here to take me home? And if so, why does that make me so sad? My conscious gladly answers the question for me:
because you’ve fallen in love with him, you idiot!
And the thought of never seeing him again is too heartrending for me to comprehend.

Oh god, what have I done?

I’m on the verge of a breakdown when the door suddenly opens. Ryker looks torn as he stands on the other side with his hand beckoning me. “It’s safe, Lyra. You can come out now.” He looks agitated when he combs his fingers through his hair and gives me a sideways glance. My body shudders when I step out of the room but instantly warms when he places his hand at the small of my back. He’s giving me the strength I need to accept what’s on the other side.