Boys Beware (21 page)

I said, “She is completely loopy.”

“Barking mad,” said Tash.

I mean, practically certifiable. It is considerably annoying when you think of all the hard work we put in, clearing the rest of the place up. If it hadn’t been for Ali and her beastly broom cupboard, we might have had a gold star instead of a mere silver. Trust her!

She arrived just a few minutes after Auntie Jay had left, and we both tore into her. We told her that Auntie Jay had been up, doing a spot check, and that we had had to tidy things away all by ourselves. Tash said, “We got it all looking
really good –
and then she opened your door and nearly freaked!”

I said, “How can you
exist
like that?”

To which Ali had the nerve to retort that it was no worse “in there” than it was “out here”.

With some irritation I said that that was not the point. “The point
is,
we did all that clearing up and then she went into your room and she had to draw a veil, it was so gross.”

“You can’t even
move
,” said Tash.

Ali said, “I can.”

I don’t know what it is with Ali, but she is becoming very
difficult.
It’s just started happening, just this last week or two. She will no longer accept any sort of criticism, even when it is for her own good, and she has developed this maddening habit of answering back. She
never used to be like this! She has always had a stubborn streak, like she has always insisted on doing her own thing. But she never used to argue and snap all the time. It’s like she has suddenly become madly full of herself and won’t listen to a word that anyone says. I mean, there wasn’t so much as a
hint
of apology for the foul state of her room and the fact that she wasn’t here to help tidy up, and when we asked her where she’d been she practically told us that it was none of our business.

I said, “Ali, we’re not prying, we’re just interested. We’d always tell you where
we’ve
been.” But she still wouldn’t say. I can’t imagine what she has to be so secretive about as she is the last person to have
assignations
i. e., with Unsuitable People. Tash, giggling, suggested that maybe she had been out with Mr Swetman, who takes us for German and once seduced a girl in the games cupboard. Well, that is the rumour. It probably isn’t true, but he certainly looks like someone who would seduce people in games cupboards.

Tash said, “
Have
you? Come on, tell us the truth! You’ve been in the games cupboard with Mr Swetman, haven’t you?”

Normally Ali would fire up, bright red and hot as a chilli pepper, if anyone teased her like that. Today she just snapped, “Oh, for goodness’ sake, stop being so childish! I’m going to get something to eat.”

Tash and I looked at each other and pulled faces. We both agree that something very odd is going on.

It is now nearly midnight. We have spent all evening vacuuming and dusting and putting things away. Totally dreary, but it had to be done. We have even scrubbed the sink and ironed the bed stuff. Oh, and we have carted
two bags
full of rubbish down to the bin. Ali has been helping us, but has done nothing whatsoever about the state of her broom cupboard. Well, she did bring out a few dirty plates and glasses, but that is all. We have no idea whether she intends to do anything about the rest of the squalor, and we do not intend to ask. We are sick of domesticity.

Tomorrow – hooray! – it’s Shauna’s party. The last one of the term. It should be good, I am looking forward to it. She has promised us boys galore!!!

I think I am going to turn the light out now as all this horrible housework has made me really tired. Tash is
already snoring happy little pig-like snores at my side. It’s so strange to think that this time on Sunday we shall be back home with Mum and Dad and sleeping in our own separate beds. I have grown quite fond of Tash’s snoring!

Week 9, Saturday

We have just got back from the party. It was quite a good one, I would probably give it about eight out of ten, but
sadly lacking
in the boy department. If Shauna’s idea of boys galore is a couple of weedy cousins and one of their friends, then all I can say is that we have very different standards. I mean, three boys and eight girls! Pur-lease! Especially as two of them were only twelve, and the one that was thirteen looked about eleven.

A bit too young for my taste. I suppose I am quite sophisticated as I really only fancy older men. Wackeen, for instance. He must have been at least fifteen. Tash’s Italian waiter is more like seventeen, though I notice she
has been rather quiet about him these last couple of days. Still, it was a fun evening, and especially when we sat down at the end to watch a vampire movie which had us all screaming and hiding our heads in our hands. It was really s-s-s-s-scary! I think even the boys were scared, though of course they pretended not to be.

Shauna’s dad gave us a lift afterwards. It was really late, almost eleven o’clock, but Auntie Jay had said it would be OK so long as we were brought home. We called out to her that we were back, and she put her head round the door and said, “Did you have a good time?” We assured her that we did.

I said, “We saw this brilliant movie –
Revenge of the Vampires.”

Auntie Jay said, “Sooner you than me. I hope it doesn’t give you nightmares … I’d be really spooked!”

Me and Tash are not in the least bit spooked. We are made of sterner stuff! Fangs dripping with blood don’t faze
us.
Not even stakes being driven through hearts, though I must admit it was a bit yucky when one person that got bitten started to jellify, so that his skin kind of, like, bubbled, and his face turned to mush, and both his eyes went melting out of their sockets and slithering and slurping down his cheeks before going
plop
off his chin and lying there on the ground like two puddles of poached egg. That was truly gross!

We crept up the stairs as quiet as could be, hardly even daring to breathe, in case people were asleep. No one can accuse us of being inconsiderate! I guess Ali must be asleep as her door is closed and we can hear no sound of television.

Oh! Tash has just interrupted me to say that in fact Ali isn’t here. She says she has looked in her cupboard and it’s empty. I have asked her how she could tell. I said that Ali probably
was
in there, but disguised as a newspaper. Rather witty, I thought! But it seems that it is serious; at any rate, Tash is taking it seriously. She says we are not supposed to be out at this time of night, and have I any idea where Ali could be?