Braden (22 page)

And now she’d plunged herself into the heart of all the
dangers that came with the Shareem.

“No,” he said. “I can’t explain why it’s too dangerous for
you to stay here. You just have to trust me. And get out.”

“Do you mean the fact that you and other Shareem are trying
to get off planet?” she floored him by saying. “To start a new life elsewhere?”

Braden was across the room in two strides, his hand over her
mouth. “Who the hell has been talking to you? And why are you saying it so
loudly?”

Elisa pulled at his hand until he lowered it again. “Don’t
worry—I had every listening device removed from this block as soon as it became
mine. Not that most of them worked anyway.”

“Shit.”

“And no one told me about your plans. I deduced them.”

“Deduced…”

She gave him a pitying look. “Really, Braden. A Shareem
comes to my library, gains access to a restricted computer and charms me into
authorizing it with my own print. He looks up a ton of transport data, erases
the time stamps and sends me a singing sphere as thanks. A wildly inappropriate
gift for simple help at a library. It’s as though he feels guilty about
something.”

“No, I can just get singing spheres cheap.”

“Don’t interrupt.” She lifted her hand, so graceful, even
when she was pissed off. “Next you give me the best few weeks of my life then, just
when we’re starting to like each other—no, not
like
. I’m not afraid to
say it. When we start to fall in love, you tell me you must leave me for my own
good. Put all that with your secretive gatherings in Judith’s bar and I start
to draw conclusions.”

“Hell.”

Elisa’s smile blossomed. “I might be naïve about sexuality
and the like, but not about people. It’s amazing what you can learn about
people when you work in a library. You’ve been planning to escape Bor Narga,
haven’t you, and you didn’t want me to know, in case repercussions came my way.
Am I right? I know I am, so don’t bother to deny it.”

“Stop.” Braden rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Just stop,
Elisa. You’re talking so fast you’re giving me a headache.”

“Sorry.” Elisa touched his forehead, rubbed her thumb there.
“I babble when I get excited.”

“Sweetheart, you can’t know this. You’re right that I don’t
want you to suffer the backlash. The less you know, the better. Moving in with
me is a stupid thing to do.” He stepped away from her. “But it doesn’t matter.
I’ll just move out.”

“Braden, I came here because I want to be with you. I don’t
care about repercussions. I can even help you. I have resources, I know
people.”

Damn, she was so fucking sweet, he was going to die. She
wanted to help, just like Katarina, just like Brianne, just like Talan. Elisa
wanted to be one of them, to live and die with them.

But the problem was, she
might
just die.

“You gave up the order,” he said. “You’re not protected by
your celibate status anymore.”

Elisa stepped close to him, kissed him briefly on the lips
and turned away to resume unpacking.

“You don’t understand the celibate orders then. Once you’re
a part of them, you are highly respected, even if you choose to leave. People
don’t want to mess with you in case you still have powerful friends in your
Way, which I do. These friends love me, understand me and don’t blame me for
what I’ve done. Did you know, for instance, that the holy lady of the Way of
the Sky, Lady t’Lenka, is related to the ruling family? She’s Brianne d’Aroth’s
grandmother’s aunt. An aunt who likes to have her wishes carried out without
question. The latest restrictions on Shareem have been lifted, by the way. As
of this morning.”

“Whoa. Wait. The lady who runs your celibate order is
Brianne’s great-great aunt?”

Elisa nodded. “That’s right.”

“Hell. That will melt Aiden and Ky’s butter.”

“I didn’t know, actually, until yesterday. Lady t’Lenka has
so divorced herself from her old life that she never talks about it. But she
told me when I approached her about the restrictions and asked what I could do
about them. She talked to Brianne’s grandmother, as a favor to me.”

“Elisa.” Braden resisted the urge to seize her, to yell at
her, to shake her, to push her onto the bed and fall on top of her. “You got
the restrictions lifted so Shareem could conspire together easier?”

She gave him a thoughtful look. “Yes. Well, that and the
restrictions are so unfair.”

“Elisa, what am I going to do with you?”

“You’re going to let me help you, that’s what.”

Braden made a noise of exasperation. “Damn it, I don’t
want
you helping. I don’t want you to have any part of this. Don’t you understand
that if we’re caught—if any patroller has the slightest suspicion about what
we’re doing—we’ll be terminated? And you’ll be arrested right along with us.”

Elisa had her back to him, lifting the singing sphere from a
crate. She set it on a small table and stepped back to admire it.

“I won’t get caught,” she said, sounding certain of herself.
“Neither will you. You’re very careful—all you Shareem are so careful, in spite
of pretending to be the most careless bunch of sex-crazed males ever created.
And once we get off planet, I have enough money that you and I can go where we
wish, live as we wish. I do like your apartment, Braden, but I think we’d need
something a little larger eventually. Especially if we decide to have a
family.”

Holy fucking crap on a crutch.

“We were bred to be sterile, remember? They give us all
those damn shots to make sure we stay that way.”

Elisa shook her head. “But if you don’t take the
contraceptive shots for a time, maybe your ability to have children will
return. Katarina and I have been talking about this, and she’s researching it.”
She touched the singing sphere and its music vibrated through the room. “After all,
Justin had a child, didn’t he?”

Braden stopped, all feeling leaving his body. “Elisa, how
the hell…did you know that?”

She shrugged. “It only makes sense. Justin was freed on
Sirius III. I know his lover there passed away, but still, why in the world would
he leave a place where he was happy, loved and free—to come back
here
?
He can’t ever leave Bor Narga again, and he’s now under the same restrictions
and regulations as the rest of the Shareem. Justin
chose
captivity. No
one does that unless they have a very good reason, and that reason usually
involves another person.”

Braden folded his arms across his chest, as though holding
himself together. “Go on.”

“It made me ponder. If Justin came back for a lady he’d
loved, wouldn’t he have found a way to get her to Sirius to be with him? If the
lady didn’t love Justin back, he’d hardly have come back here after twenty-five
years to find her again. I thought maybe the lady in question was married to
someone else, but even then, why would he come to Bor Narga—wouldn’t it be
easier for them to meet in secret off planet somewhere? That left a child. One
he conceived before he left, one who maybe doesn’t know anything about him.
After twenty-five years, that child would be a grown-up person, easier to find,
easier to approach. A son or a daughter who probably doesn’t even know they
have anything to do with Shareem.”

She finished, smiling, looking proud of her conclusions.

“You are too damn smart,” Braden said. “Too damn smart for
your own good.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Braden let out a breath. “I hope to the gods none of the
patrollers are that smart.”

“They’re not,” Elisa said. “They see Shareem as mindless
beings, the fools. In their opinion, Justin came back here because he couldn’t
think of anything else to do once his lady on Sirius passed away. They don’t
think males can think for themselves, especially not Shareem.” She paused. “I’m
right, aren’t I? About the child?”

“Yes. It’s a daughter.”

“Poor Justin. His secret is safe with me, believe me.”

“I know it is.” Braden went to her, hot, panicked and
hurting all together. “I know you won’t tell anyone, sweetheart. You’ve been
good to me since the day I saw you behind that desk. All innocent and pretty
and…librarian-ish.”

“I was fascinated by you,” Elisa said. “You were my first
Shareem.”

And by all the gods, Braden swore he’d be her only one.

Braden touched her face, looking into green-flecked brown
eyes brimming with sincerity. What the hell had he done to deserve this
wonderful woman? This beauty who’d charged down from her high-priced house on
the hill to take care of him?

“Elisa, I’m so fucking in love with you, it scares the hell
out of me.”

Her eyes warmed. “Why should it scare you?”

“Because we can’t be in love.”

“Why not? I don’t believe the lie that Shareem don’t have
emotions.”

“I don’t mean that. I mean because it’s too dangerous.”
Braden rested his forehead against hers. “If something happened to you, I’d
die.”

“Then we’ll be very, very careful.” She kissed his lips, her
mouth soft. “I love you, Braden. I’m staying with you, and I’ll help you, and
I’ll get you free. I promise.”

“I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. Not until Justin
figures things out. I get why he wants to stay, and I’m staying with him.”

“Of course you are. We’ll help Justin too. I don’t think
that pilot—Mitch is his name?—will mind the excuse to keep visiting Judith.”

“You know about that too, do you?”

Elisa shrugged. “I’m a librarian. Knowledge is my business.”

Braden pulled her close, his hands sliding around her waist.
“What do I do, Elisa? I love you so much. It’s killing me to not be with you.”

“Then be with me.”

Such a simple solution. Risk everything, acknowledge love,
be together every day. Braden craved it with his whole being.

“All right.” He kissed her lips, the corners of her mouth.
“You win, damn you. Stay, and we’ll fall together.”

Saying it, surrendering to the love, relaxed something
inside Braden that had been tight for years. He felt floating, free.
Lightheaded, even.

He gave a name to the feeling, one he’d never had in his
long and totally screwed-up life.

Happiness.

He kissed Elisa, his love, his lifemate. She wrapped her
arms around his neck, pulled him down into the kiss. Her lips were hot, wet,
her wicked little tongue delving into his mouth and tasting him back.

That kiss led into a second, equally passionate one. Braden
scooped Elisa against him, liking that she’d worn a thin tunic. Her nipples
were hard behind it, pressing points into the fabric.

Elisa rubbed her hips against him, smiling into the kiss
when she felt his rock-stiff hard-on. “Next time you go for your inoculations,
will you tell Katarina to take out the sterility drugs?”

Braden’s heart beat faster. “You want to risk that?”

“I want a family. With you. We’ll find a way.”

Braden wanted it too. He completely understood why Justin
had voluntarily come back here to rules and regulations just for a glimpse of
his daughter. That pull, that love, was amazing.

“All right,” he said. “We’ll see what happens.” He cupped
her waist and slanted her a sudden and wicked smile. “And now, love, what is
this about you buying my apartment building without my permission?”

“It was a gift. For you.”

“Don’t disarm me with those sweet eyes. I was thinking along
the lines of a little discipline.”

The spark in Elisa’s eyes made Braden’s heart leap. She was
too special; liked to play his games and knew exactly when Braden needed to
play them.

“Maybe I’ve been a bit naughty,” she said, smile sly.

“I’m glad to hear it. But I don’t think I’ll give you a
punishment here.”

She looked surprised. “No?”

“No. Do you still have the key codes to your Serestine
Quarter library?”

“Yes.” The spark again. “Why?”

Braden leaned to her and lightly kissed her lips, grinning.
“It’s a surprise.”

* * * * *

In less than an hour, Elisa found herself leaning over her
reference desk in the closed library, Braden swiftly stripping off her clothes.

The library was dark except for the little light below her
desk that sent illumination upward. The atrium was like a silent, waiting
jungle, the trickling of the fountain loud in the stillness.

She’d worked at this desk for two years, and never had it
been
this
much fun. She looked over her familiar console and keypad, the
drawer that stuck a little, the now-dark frame where she’d displayed her
holopics.

Familiar and yet strange in the dark, with her naked. With a
man looming behind her in the darkness, his growling voice telling her to
spread herself across the desk.

Elisa laid down on it, stretching her arms above her head,
tingling with pleasure when Braden clicked cuffs around her wrists. He’d pulled
off his tunic and stood next to the desk, hard and dark.

The tip of his cock touched her lips. “Suck me.”

Yes.
Elisa opened her mouth and welcomed him in,
loving the now-familiar taste of his cock in her mouth. She licked the tip,
moved her tongue on the underside and sucked the way he liked it.

Braden let her for a while, rocking his hips, hand on her
back, softly telling her how beautiful she was. He withdrew before she
finished, backing out of the way of her outstretched hands.

“Not yet,” he said. “I want to come with you.”

“But I like it when you come in my mouth,” she said.

Braden made a sound like a growl. “Hell, don’t tell me
that.”

He reached into his pack and pulled out the thin strap.
Elisa squirmed in excitement.

She screamed when the first lash landed on her buttocks, her
laughter ringing up through the atrium. The leather hissed through the air—
swish,
slap. Swish, slap.