Brave Beginnings (5 page)

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Another round of giggles that could only be
interpreted as cackling erupted from the garden close to the river.
Chogan shuddered and hurried along the cornstalks that the women in
the garden were harvesting. He hoped Sarita wouldn’t see him. He
should never have strayed so far from his clan, especially not in
this direction. But the stag had drifted off in that direction, and
he didn’t want to miss the opportunity to get such a prized animal.
With its rich brown coat, it would make good clothes, and with its
size, it would provide meat for his lodge and for his in-laws.

Even if his wife was no longer alive, he
provided for her lodge when he caught a sizable animal. It wasn’t
something he did because he was expected to, but he felt as if they
were his second family and just because he moved back to his
parents’ lodge after her death, it didn’t erase the bond he’d
developed with them.

Lost in his thoughts of the past, he didn’t
see Achai until he almost ran into him.

Achai sighed and motioned to the large deer
on the travois Chogan pulled behind him. “I see you got lucky.”

“Luck has nothing to do with it when you know
what you’re doing.” Even if he wasn’t in the best of moods, Chogan
couldn’t miss the opportunity to give his friend a hard time.

Achai rolled his eyes. “It must be all the
fasting you do. It brings good luck your way.”

“I don’t fast to sway fortune my way.”

He did it to be left alone. No one ever
questioned a man who wished to go away from the village so he could
fast, and Chogan found it a good respite from everything. He just
wished that he could erase Julia from his mind.

Chogan stepped forward, thinking Achai would
go the other way and find his own game, but Achai joined him.

“I thought I should warn you that Citlali’s
been asking where you are,” Achai said.

He grimaced but didn’t slow his pace lest
Sarita or one of the women in her family see him and call out to
him. It seemed to him that Sarita and Citlali had the same goal.
“If he wants to see Sarita married, then why doesn’t he marry
her?”

“Because his family already made their own
arrangements.”

“Too bad Sarita isn’t Onawa’s sister. Then he
could marry them both and be done with it.”

“You’re one of the few single men here. You
should know that makes you an easy target.”

“Yes. I feel very much like this poor
stag.”

Achai grinned. “If the deer makes you uneasy,
I’d be happy to take him off your hands.”

“Oh? And what honor would there be in that? A
man earns his own way. He doesn’t rely on others to do it for
him.”

He shrugged. “I was only trying to help a
friend. You could simply run off on another fast while I take the
food back. You know Citlali’s going to be lurking near your lodge
when you get there.”

“I know better than to make such a deal with
you,” Chogan said, and despite his firm tone, a smile hinted on his
lips. “You go and get your own game. Make your wife and children
proud to have you in their lodge.”

With a whimsical look, Achai lifted his bow
and arrow and headed off.

As much as Chogan hated the thought of seeing
Citlali, he pressed forward. He silently cursed his luck for having
been born in the same clan that Citlali had been born into, for
that made Citlali his leader. Maybe he wasn’t the official leader,
but the people regarded him in high esteem. One day Citlali would
find his way to chief, but for now his influence was limited,
though that didn’t spare Chogan the younger man’s harassment.

Chogan caught sight of Citlali and breathed a
sigh of relief when he saw that Citlali was in a conversation with
an elderly man known for rambling. That ought to keep Citlali off
his hands for a good while. He let go of the travois and entered
the lodge where his mother and grandmother were cutting some
squash. Several young girls sat around one of his aunts who was
teaching them how to weave beads into a dress.

His mother glanced up with a question in her
eyes.

“You might want to call in the others from
the garden. I got a strong deer.” He motioned to the entrance.

Chogan’s aunt and the girls dropped their
things to follow him and his mother outside. His mother shrieked
with delight. “How did you find something this magnificent so close
to the village?”

Chogan smiled as his mother and the others
hovered around the stag. “Fortune was with me today.”

“The spirits look favorably upon you,” she
replied, running her hand along the animal’s body. “This will make
fine clothing.”

“That’s what I thought when I saw it.”

“I’ll get the others to help,” his aunt
excitedly said as she went to find the other members of their
lodge.

“I want to give a portion to Meriwa’s
family.”

His mother furrowed her brows. “Why not give
it to Sarita as a gift?”

“I always give a portion of my hunt to
Meriwa’s lodge.”

“But they don’t expect it.”

His expression darkened. “I don’t want to
marry Sarita.”

With a heavy sigh, his mother led him away
from the children. “You are still young. I have allowed for time to
pass since your wife’s death, but it’s time to think of marrying
again. Citlali and—”

“Citlali needs to stay out of my business,”
he snapped.

“He didn’t come alone. Hache-Hi came as
well.”

So Citlali had sought the assistance of the
leader of their clan. Chogan closed his eyes and took a deep breath
to calm his anxiety.

“If Sarita does not please you, then there
must be another one you could marry,” his mother suggested. “I
agree that you should marry, but I believe the choice of which
woman you marry should be yours.”

“And if I don’t want to marry anyone in the
tribe?”

“It would be preferable to have a Mandan
wife. You really don’t want any of them? There are more women than
men, so I don’t understand why you can’t find one to your
liking.”

“I’ve been married before.”

“So?”

“So I understand that marriage is more than
having children. I don’t want to be married to someone else
who’ll—” He stopped himself before he said ‘make me miserable’. It
wasn’t fair to Meriwa’s memory to say something like that.

“You could have divorced her,” his mother
softly admonished. “It would’ve been a simple thing to leave her
lodge.”

“With her as sick as she was?”

“Not all the women here are weak. Many are
strong and capable.” She paused and tilted her head, studying his
face. “Unless...”

“Unless?”

“You harbor feelings for the white woman?
Gary’s sister?”

“She’s with a white man,” he bitterly
replied. “She has no use for me.” He wished he could erase the
memory of that white man’s smug look. Chogan didn’t have to be
knocked over the head to interpret the man’s claim on what he
considered to be his territory.

“Then pick another woman. One who is
available,” his mother pressed. “You may even choose one from
another tribe.”

He grimaced. He didn’t want a woman from his
tribe, nor did he care for one from the two neighboring tribes.
There was only one he wanted, and she was already spoken for. He
felt like a fool. He’d dressed up in his best to see her and
honestly believed she might come back with him. But she had moved
on. She was a part of the white man’s world, and he was a part of
the Indian world. A blending between the two wouldn’t work for
them. As unfortunate as that was, he had to come to terms with
it.

With a sinking feeling in his gut, he scanned
the lodges around him. Even a careless glance showed him one of the
women he could bring gifts to.

As if on cue, Citlali walked in his
direction. “He should be out hunting instead of bothering others,”
Chogan grumbled.

His mother shot him an amused look. “He has
the best interest of our people at heart. It is why they respect
him, even if he is young.”

Probably sensing a not-so-kind reply forming
on Chogan’s lips, she promptly turned to the stag where his aunts
and one of their husbands had come to take care of it. Chogan knew
it was pointless to fight the inevitable. If Citlali had managed to
talk his mother and Hache-Hi into the notion that he needed to
marry, then any more argument would be a waste of energy.

Citlali opened his mouth to speak, but Chogan
decided to beat him to it. “The choice will be mine. I will not
marry Sarita. I don’t care if her father has a white buffalo robe
and she owns a tribal bundle.”

Citlali nodded. “Then you will marry.”

“You leave me no choice.”

“It is good for the tribe.”

“Maybe, but I sense the day is coming when
you will learn that what is good for the tribe is not necessarily
good for a man.” Then, to end the discussion, he turned his back on
Citlali and helped his family with the deer.

***

Julia took the necklace her sister-in-law had
given her and clasped it around her neck. The brown, blue and red
glass beads felt cool against her skin, a reminder that she had to
take it off when she bathed. She slipped it under her blouse and
pulled her hair back into a bun.

She heard the familiar footsteps of her aunt
coming up the stairs and called out, “I’m almost ready!”

Erin appeared in the doorway with an
uncertain look on her face.

Julia frowned. “What’s wrong? Is the train
running late?” Then her gaze fell to the letter Erin held. “Who is
that from?”

“I’m sorry, Julia.”

Alarmed at her aunt’s ‘I have bad news’ tone,
Julia ran over to her and took the letter. “It’s from Gary. He
never writes this soon after seeing us.” In fact, he rarely ever
wrote. She clutched the paper to her chest, unable to read it until
she was properly warned. “Did something happen to Woape or the
child?”

“No. No, it’s nothing like that.”

“Then what?”

“I think you should unpack.”

Julia glanced at the travel bag that she’d
been putting her things in before she turned back to her aunt. “But
I need to see Chogan...”

She shook her head. “He’s married,
sweetheart.”

“Married?” she dumbly asked, suddenly unable
to compute exactly what that word meant.

When her aunt motioned to the letter in her
grip, she reluctantly relaxed her hands and smoothed out the
wrinkled paper so she could read it. Her heart raced with a mixture
of dread and horror as she scanned the contents. Gary wrote that he
would bring Woape and Penelope by in two weeks since the tribe
would be done with the harvest. Then he rambled on about some of
the exciting things he was learning, but she skimmed through that
section. She flipped the letter over and that’s when she read
it.

Chogan’s married.

It was all her brother wrote. There was no
other explanation. He just continued on with some of the other
things happening in the tribe, but Julia couldn’t make out any of
the words through her tears.

“Julia?” Erin whispered.

“I never should have said no when he
proposed,” she managed before she collapsed into her aunt’s arms
and cried.

Erin hugged her. “I’m so sorry, honey. Come
on.” She gently led her to the bed and sat next to her, holding her
and running her hand up and down her back. “Chogan didn’t say
anything about marrying anyone when he was here. I thought he came
here to see you. I don’t know what happened.”

“Ernest happened.” She pulled away from her
aunt and searched for the handkerchief she’d recently packed in the
bag next to her. “Ernest showed up, and Chogan assumed the
worst.”

“You might be right.”

She pulled out the handkerchief and wiped her
eyes. “I should have gone after him when he and Gary left. I just
didn’t know what to do. It all happened so fast. And I didn’t have
to wait a week to get the ticket.”

Her aunt continued to rub her back. “You’re
not one to act on impulse.”

“That’s because I let fear hold me back. All
of my life I let fear hold me back. It’s why I didn’t marry Chogan
when he asked. I didn’t think I could fit in with his tribe. I was
too scared to leave everything I knew.” More tears fell and her
lower lip quivered. “I was afraid, and now I missed the one chance
I had to be with the most wonderful man I’ve ever known. I’ll never
find anyone like him again.”

Her body shook as another onslaught of tears
overtook her, and all she could do was cry while her aunt continued
to hold her.

~~********~~

Julia had a hard time sitting through the
meal at the Freeman’s residence. She glanced across the table at
her aunt who managed to talk up a storm, and Julia said a silent
prayer of thanks for the fact that the woman was longwinded. It was
a mistake to come here. Just as it had been a mistake to turn down
Chogan’s proposal a year ago. Just as it had been a mistake to let
him leave when he saw Ernest standing too close to her. Just as it
had been a mistake not to find a way to get to his tribe before he
got married to someone else.

It seemed to her that her life had been
composed of a series of mistakes, and for the past week, that was
all she could think of. Missed opportunities. Times she wanted to
do one thing but did another. There had only been one time she
didn’t analyze everything through before she did it, and that was
when she went on a search for her brother. Looking back and knowing
her brother and Woape were alright, she had to admit those days
hunting rabbits with Chogan were the best of her life.

And now he’d take another woman hunting for
rabbits. Her fork clattered to the plate as she gave up on eating
any more of the pot roast in front of her. She had no idea who the
woman was, but she hated her. Though she knew she had no claim on
Chogan, she couldn’t imagine him with anyone else.