Breaking Bad (11 page)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

T
wenty minutes later, Jack stood staring down at Stevie’s softly snoring body. She’d fallen asleep. Did the woman have a death wish? He sighed and sat down on the edge of the tub. He couldn’t help it when his fingers traced the swell of her cheek. Her soft breath caressed his skin. Her cheeks were rosy and her skin creamy smooth. She looked so fragile, like a little girl with no one to protect her.

His heart ached a little. He wanted to be the one she turned to when she was afraid. He cracked a smile. Not that much scared her. Except him.

He wanted her trust. To never let her down. One would be hard-earned and the other a lesson in humility. Because he was a selfish man who had never been willing to make the concessions necessary to sustain a relationship that involved the heart. Until now. The realization stunned him. And yet, it settled him.

“I never meant to hurt you, sweetheart,” he softly said, brushing her damp hair from her face. “I was a coward, because I knew if I stayed, I’d be the one who got hurt.”

Her eyelashes fluttered and her big blue eyes peered innocently up at him. The haze of fatigue burdened them. “I forgive you, Jack.” Then they closed.

Jack stood dragging his fingers through his hair, feeling like a colossal heel. She forgave him? He could never have forgiven her had the tables been turned. What did that say about his character or lack thereof? The sudden urge to bolt grabbed hold of him. He didn’t do relationships. He’d never been with the same woman for more than a month, and that was mostly sex. If he needed arm candy he never had to go farther than his cell phone for a number and a willing partner for the evening.

He looked back at Stevie. She deserved a guy who could give her her heart’s desire. He wanted to be that man, but knew he’d fuck it up. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt her again. Or was he taking the cowardly way out again?

Stevie was different. She had been from the first day he set eyes on her at the academy. When it came to her, he experienced feelings he had never experienced with another woman. Jealousy when his partner and friend, a man he trusted, flirted with her. The way his gut knotted when Spoltori put his hands on her. The terror he experienced when he realized how close she had come to dying tonight.

Swiping his hand across his chin, he knew that as much as she fought it, she wanted more from him, too. She trusted him. After all, he’d been the one she called first, not 911.

Sighing, he grabbed a big fluffy towel from the linen closet that smelled coconutty like her, sat down on the edge of the tub, spread the towel across his lap, and gently slid one arm beneath her knees and the other around her shoulders.

“Leave me alone,” she mumbled, though she didn’t fight him off.

“Shhh,” he said, then carefully brought her onto his lap and patted her dry. He smiled as he touched the towel to her. This was a first. No angry spewing to leave her alone. Just contented sighs as she snuggled up to him. He liked it. Like a little kitten all hissed out, she was now ready for cuddling. His smile faded. The protective surge in him was overpowering. He stood, holding her tightly, and strode to her bed, where he gently laid her down. For a long time he stared at her. She was beautiful. Long, toned limbs, flat belly, and full breasts. His groin stirred. Not for fucking, but for making love.

Shaking his head, Jack covered her and stepped away. He didn’t know the first thing about making love to a woman, but he knew that if she gave him the chance, it would come naturally with Stevie. He wanted that, more than he had wanted anything else in his life.

He was so fucked.

She was running for her life, the black truck so close she could feel the heat of the engine on her back. The canyon road was steep, with sheer cliffs on either side. No guardrails, no shoulder, just straight drops to the rocky canyon below. Her only recourse was to run forward. For her life.

The engine roared. She looked over her shoulder and screamed.

“Stevie!” Jack’s worried voice called close by. Wildly, she reached out and somehow managed to grab him.

The contact jerked her out of her sleep. She blinked, her eyes open but unseeing in the darkness. But she could smell him. Feel him in so many more ways than physically.

“Jack,” she sobbed, clutching his arms, holding on to him as if he were her only lifeline. “It was him.”

“It was just a dream, baby, I swear, just a dream.”

“The Edge. He—He was wearing a leather hood—blood on his hands—after me. Almost got me.”

She shivered hard, trying to focus. Jack’s strong scent soothed her as he rocked her, stroking her hair. “It was just a dream. You’re safe.”

Her heart beat chaotically against her chest and she could barely breathe. This feeling of fear, of being afraid and vulnerable was as foreign to her as speaking Chinese. But it was Jack, and he made her feel safe. Grasping him, she pressed her face into the crook of his neck. “Don’t go,” she begged, her voice small like a child’s.

“I’m not going anywhere.” His arms tightened around her. Readjusting, she pressed her cheek to his chest and felt the strong, vibrant beat of his heart. Closing her eyes, Stevie let her walls down a little more and allowed herself to be comforted by him. Just this once. Just for a minute.

“Not allowed to be afraid,” she mumbled. “Big girls don’t cry.” As she said the last words, she felt the hot sting of tears in her eyes. She never cried. Not even at her father’s funeral. Not even when Jack had disappeared from her bed and her life.

“Big girls are allowed to be afraid, Stevie. They should cry.” He nudged her chin up and swept his lips across hers. “My arms are always open for you.”

Emotion tightened in her chest like a fist. Her body shuddered as she tried to hold it in.

“Let it go, sweetheart. Just let all the shit go.”

“I can’t. Show no weakness—” she rasped, fighting the deluge beating her down for release.

“Dump it, sweetheart. Kick it to the curb and walk away from it,” he softly urged against her ear.

In a mad, drug-induced purge, she let it go. All the soul-wrenching pain she’d been pushing down rushed up. For all those times as a little girl she was alone and afraid and needed someone to tell her she would be all right, she cried. For all those times she was terrified to fail, to disappoint her father, her teachers, or her coaches, she cried. For all those times she needed her father and mother to be normal, loving, accepting parents, she cried. For all those times she was ostracized by her peers because she was the sheriff’s daughter, she cried. She cried for the person she had never been allowed to be.

She cried the hardest over the remembered pain when the only man she’d ever loved walked out of her life. And most of all, she cried, terrified that she would fall short in his eyes, and he would do it again.

That man, whom she still loved, held her securely in his arms, rocking her gently, stroking her hair, soothing her with words as she fell apart in his arms.

“Jack,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough for you to stay. I tried, I tried so hard to be perfect.”

He kissed her. “You were perfect for me. It was me, I was the coward.”

“Daddy told me I had to be strong, that no man would want a weak woman. He was right. You didn’t want me because I’m weak.”

Jack’s body tensed as he pushed her from his embrace just enough to stare into her eyes. “You’re the strongest woman I know.” His lips brushed her cheek, kissing away the tears. “But being strong isn’t about holding it in forever, Stevie; it’s about getting through until you can be vulnerable with someone you trust.” He kissed her nose. He kissed her lips. “It’s about letting in someone who cares about you.”

His words stirred her deeply. His lips trailed down her neck to the bend in her shoulder. “Strength lies here.” He pressed his hand between her breasts. “In the heart, not in brawn.”

Her heart thudded against his palm. She was naked, and her body was waking up even if her brain was still foggy. Closing her eyes, she bit her bottom lip as a sharp wave of desire swept through her. Jack’s hand pressed more firmly against her skin, his fingertips brushing her hardening nipple.

“Jack,” she breathed. As she said his name, heat rushed to her womb. “Don’t leave me again.” Had she not been drugged she wouldn’t have said it, but she was and…She meant it.

Desperately.

Warm lips pressed to the pulse beat of her neck as his hand slid across her breast. “I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.”

Moaning, she shivered hot with desire. She wanted him, desperately, but was afraid he would reject her.

Swallowing her fear, she quietly said, “Jack?”

“Mmm?” His hands slid up her arms to her shoulders, his fingertips trailing either side of her neck before his fingers dug deeply into her damp hair.

“Make love to me,” she said it so softly, the words barely held sound. If he didn’t respond she could tell herself he didn’t hear her. If he said yes…

He groaned as his lips trailed from her neck to her jaw, to her parted lips, and in a wild, wet plunder he ravished her mouth.

Pulling him against her, Stevie arched into him, wanting every inch of him imprinted on her naked body. When he broke their kiss and took her face between his hands, and pressed his forehead to hers, she knew she was about to be shot down. Shame washed through her. She stiffened and immediately went on the defensive.

“Take your hands off me.”

“Sweetheart—”

Turning away she pushed against his chest but he didn’t budge. “I get it, Jack.”

“No, you don’t, you don’t get it at all.” He pushed her back into the mattress. She yelped in pain, her bruised body still tender despite the numbing narcotics. He grabbed her right hand and pushed it down to his hips and his straining erection. He groaned when she touched him. “Does that feel like I don’t want you?”

“No,” she rasped.

“I want you so damn bad, my entire body aches. The old Jack might have taken advantage of the fact that you’re on drugs and therefore vulnerable, but the new Jack won’t.”

“I want the old Jack.”

“Damn it, Stevie, no, you don’t.”

Opening her hand she rubbed the heel of her palm along his long thickness. “Yes, I do.”

“I don’t have a condom,” he said lamely.

“You don’t need one unless you have something catchy. I’m on the pill for my screwy periods.”

He pressed his throbbing cock into her eager hand. “I’m clean as a whistle.”

“There’s been no one but you, Jack.” She bowed into him, enticing him with a perky nipple. He made a noise as if he was in pain, but male satisfaction burned bright in his eyes.

“Stevie, I’m sorry I hurt you that bad.”

“No, you’re not. I can see it in your eyes, Jack. But it doesn’t matter because I’m not sorry. Not anymore. I want you, Jack. No strings, just you, right here, right now.”

He lowered his lips to her nipple and took a taste.
Oh, God that felt good.

His hand slid down her belly to her sultry mound. “You have the sweetest, tightest pussy, Stevie. I want in it so bad.” He slid a finger along her dewy seam, and the building tension inside her almost snapped. He pressed his cheek to her breast and shook his head. “But I can’t. You’ll hate me in the morning.”

“I’ve hated you for seven years, what’s another seven?” Sliding her hand beneath his sweats, she grasped his hard, hot shaft.

He moaned loudly, making a feeble attempt to pull away. “Damn it, stop.”

The power of their attraction pushed aside her fear of being rejected. She wanted Jack and he wanted her, too. Just like he did with her, she had the power to break his self-control. “You’re going to have to try a little harder than that if you want me to stop.” With her free hand Stevie dug her fingers into his thick hair and pulled him away from her breast to face her. Power surged through her when their eyes met. His were deep jade, and full of desire. His impressive cock throbbed forcefully in her hand. She smiled slyly. “You have as much willpower as I do.” She cupped his tight scrotum. He groaned, jutting against her hand. “If you’re so worried about me hating you, you can knock yourself out in the morning trying to make me unhate you.”

“Stevie…”

“Oh, Jack, you know you want this.”

“You have no idea.”

She pushed him back into the sheets and slid across his chest, pushing his sweats down to his knees. His erection sprang free. “And this time, Jack?” She smiled and stroked him. “I’m getting on top.”

Taking each of his hands into each of hers, she entwined her fingers in his and raised them above his head. Her aching breasts trailed along his hard pectorals, provoking low moans of pleasure from them both. Then with a slow languid slide, she glided down his taut belly and reverently, sheathed herself on his straining erection. Their eyes widened, their breaths held until she fully sat him.

“Dear, God,” she breathed. “That is the most amazing feeling in the world.” She kissed him softly and said, “Thank you.”

Jack squeezed her fingers. She welcomed the pain of his excitement.