Breaking Free (4 page)

“What the hell, Drew! You could have jus—” He silences my arguments with his mouth. Luckily, when he slides his hands down me and reaches my pants, he slides them off instead of ruining them. Drew stands, walks to his suitcase, and returns with a condom in his hand. I really hate those things, but God only knows where he’s been.

He takes off his pants and slides the condom over his impressive length. I have to admit that looking at him intimidates me. He is by far the hottest guy I’ve ever laid eyes on. Lowering himself on top of me, he starts to kiss me from my collarbone all the way down to my waist. When he gets to my lace underwear, he captures the flimsy material in between his teeth and tugs it down my legs until it falls to the floor. Drew then slowly kisses a trail up my leg, stopping at my core. He stills and I lean up on my elbows to see what he’s doing.

When he lowers his head and takes my clit into his mouth, I lift my hips up to meet him. I’m desperate for his touch in any possible way. I let myself fall back onto the bed and enjoy the way that his mouth feels on me. When he stops again, I’m ready to scream in frustration and lift up on my elbows so I can see him again. “Why did you stop?” I sound like a whiny child who just had her favorite toy taken away from her.

Drew smirks at me. “I want your eyes on me. I want to be able to see what I do to you. If you look away, I stop.”
Seriously?
He is so damn controlling. He stares at me as if waiting for a response.

I nod my head and he continues doing things to me that make me feel like I’m going to combust into a million pieces. Keeping my eyes focused on him is definitely not easy when all I want to do is lay my head back and enjoy all the sensations. My muscles start to tighten and I can feel my orgasm building.

“Come on, James. I know you’re close and I can’t wait to see what you look like when you fall apart.” That’s all it takes. Hearing him talk to me in that husky voice and having his hands all over me pushes me over the edge. I scream as my release rips through my body. Before I can even catch my breath, Drew is hovering over me, swallowing the last of my screams with his kiss.

He pulls back and looks at me. “You ready?”

Does he think I’m a virgin? If I was, I definitely would be way too scared to come here with him. I thread my hands through his hair. “It’s not my first time.” I lift my lips to meet his but he moves his head back and out of my reach.

“That’s where you’re wrong, baby.” I look at him in confusion.
What the hell is he talking about?
“You see, it might as well be your first time, because what I am about to do to you I
guarantee
no man has ever done.”

Chapter Three

I can’t even respond, not that he waits for me to. He slams his mouth against mine while simultaneously pushing into me. I gasp from the size of him and let myself adjust to the feeling. He sits up more and grabs both of my legs, resting them on his shoulders. When he starts to move in and out of me, I can’t help the sounds that I’m making. In this position it feels as if he’s going to rip me in two, and I wouldn’t mind it, either.

Thankfully, I can see on his face that I’m the only one affected. He’s biting his delicious bottom lip and his hands are gripping my thighs hard. He pulls out of me, and before I can object, he flips us around so I’m now on top of him. His hands lift my hips and bring me crashing down on top of him.

“Shit!” I scream, not ready to move again, but he’s very impatient. Drew lifts me up once again and slams me down on top of him. My nails dig into his chest, letting him know how much of an impact he’s having on me.

His hands flex and I know he’s about to lift me up again but I remove them. There’s a question in his eyes and I’m prepared to answer it. I lean forward, placing my hands on each side of his head. When I start to lift myself up and down, his eyes close and he lifts his hips up to meet me.

I can feel myself building again and it’s so intense that I’m almost scared of it. “Yes, baby, come on.” His hand tangles in my hair and he pulls my mouth down to meet his. Moving his other hand down my side and in between us, I’m completely shattered when he touches my clit. I go limp as he drives into me a few more times before finding his own release.

I roll to my side, not having enough energy to get up. My head is resting on his chest and his arm is still wrapped around me. I can’t help but think that if this is what it will be like, then I am absolutely okay with him using me. In a way I’m using him, too. He provides me peace and is the only person I can stand to touch. It’s like an escape for me and it’s something I can’t get anywhere else.

Drew gets up to go to the bathroom without saying even a word to me. I wonder if I did something wrong. Is he pissed off? I hear my phone ring and grab it from the end table, answering it without even looking at who it is. “Hello?”

“Hello? Who is this?”

I don’t recognize the voice, so when I pull the phone away from my ear and the name on the screen says
Mom
, I have a heart attack.
Fuck. This isn’t my phone.

“Hello? Andrew?”

Shit. Do I say something?
“Hi, um Drew is in the other room.”

“Okay, can I ask who you are?”

You can, but I have no idea what to tell you.
Drew walks out of the bathroom and I hold the phone toward him, mouthing an apology. When he looks at the screen he frowns. “Hello?...I know, I forgot…I’m sorry…My girlfriend…Okay, Mom, I’ll talk to you later.”

He hangs up the phone and turns to face me.
Girlfriend. What the hell?
I had no idea the bastard was seeing someone. I jump up from the bed, grab my clothes from the floor, walk into the bathroom, slam the door, and lock it. I’m rushing to get dressed when he bangs on the door so loud I jump.

“What the fuck? Open the door!” When I don’t answer, he tries to turn the doorknob, but can’t because it’s locked. “What the hell got into you? I don’t know what you’re so pissed about. You’re the one that answered my damn phone!”

I finish pulling my top on and fling the door open. He goes to grab me but I duck under his arm and head for the door. I grab my purse and open the door, but before I can leave, he reaches over me and slams it shut.

“Turn around.” I can tell by the tone of his voice that he’s trying to keep it together. I refuse to look at him, though. It makes me sick that he didn’t tell me he was involved with someone. “Turn around.” The force behind his voice makes me jump, but I stay put.

Drew grabs my shoulder and turns me so my back is now pressed against the door. He steps forward and he is so close I couldn’t turn around if I wanted to. I force his hand off of me. “Don’t touch me.”

“What the hell happened to you, woman? I go to the bathroom for a fucking second and when I come back you act all bi-polar?”

Did he seriously just call me woman? Ugh!
I jam my knee up with every intention of hitting him right in the balls but he catches it.

“Uh-uh-uh. Now why would you want to harm something that gives you so much pleasure?” He goes to kiss me but I turn my head away from him. “Jesus Christ, James! Just tell me what’s wrong!”

“Why don’t you go ask your girlfriend, asshole.” He smirks at me and I really have no idea what’s so funny. “Oh, it’s funny to use me when you have someone else?” He leans in to kiss me but I push him away. “I. Said. Don’t. Touch. Me.” I poke him in the chest with my finger after I say each word.

He groans in frustration. “I don’t have a fucking girlfriend.”

“That’s not what you said on the phone.” I know
exactly
what I heard and there is no way he’s getting out of this.

“I was talking about you. My mother asked who answered the phone.” He leans in to kiss me again but I turn my head to the side.

“I’m not your girlfriend.” All I can think about is “Josh” asking me to be his girlfriend, and then Chris saying to me that he was allowed to touch me because I was his. My breathing gets heavy and the room is starting to spin.
Fuck, I cannot have an anxiety attack here.
I try to push the panic back down and pretend like I’m fine but I’m starting to get dizzy and nauseous.

“Are you okay?” I try to nod my head but it feels so heavy that it just falls and I lean it against his chest. “What’s going on? Do you need help?”

Suddenly, I’m off my feet and in his arms. I know where I am but my mind can’t get out of the memory. All I can remember is Chris carrying me to the car. I don’t want to get stuck in the trunk again. I scream and start kicking and fighting the way I wish I could have that night. I need him to let me go. I’m placed on something soft and my arms are being held down. “Let me go!” I scream at the top of my lungs, praying someone hears me this time. My vision is getting blurry and it looks as if I’m entering a tunnel.

That’s when everything goes black.

I wake up and jolt at first, not remembering where the hell I am. I look around and realize that I’m still in Drew’s hotel room. I’m wearing a t-shirt that is two sizes too big; it must be one of his. I’m under the covers and I can see the sun peeking through the curtains. The sun? I don’t even remember going to bed.

This is also the first night that I don’t remember waking up from my nightmares. Every night, I wake up sweating and panting from the terror in my dreams. Memories of the night before start to come back.
Shit, I had a panic attack.
Maybe that’s why I didn’t have a nightmare—I passed the hell out. I sit up in bed, and at the end of the bed is the chair that used to be in the other room. Drew is sitting up in it, staring at me. I can’t really gauge his mood.

“Hi.” I can’t think of anything else to say and he hasn’t given me any idea if he’s pissed or what.

He’s still just staring at me and I start to squirm under his gaze. He stands up and walks over to me. Once he’s in front of me, his hand immediately grasps the back of my head and he crashes his mouth into mine, causing me to gasp in surprise. He climbs onto the bed and straddles me. His kiss is so desperate and has so much passion behind it.

He pulls back and rests his forehead against mine. “Tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

He sits back. “Tell me what happened to you.”

Nope. Not gonna happen.
There is no way in hell I’m ready to go there with anyone,
especially
him. I haven’t even talked to Carter about what happened that night. I shake my head no.

He lifts my chin so that my eyes meet his. “Tell me. I need to know.”

“No, you don’t.” I push him off of me, swing my legs over the bed, and stand up. I look around for my phone and see it at the foot of the bed. I look back at him, as if accusing him. He shrugs his shoulders and smirks at me. “You went through my phone?!” He laughs at me and I pick up a pillow and throw it at his head. “You had no right, asshole!”

I turned around and stomp toward the door. I can hear his footsteps behind me, and before I can reach the door, his arm catches me around my waist. Drew pulls me against him and lowers his mouth to my ear. “Stop running from me.” He drags his teeth over my earlobe and my entire body breaks out in goose bumps. My mind is so damn mad at him right now, but my body isn’t.

He starts to walk backward and my traitor of a body follows him. Drew pulls me down to sit next to him on the bed. “Tell me.”

“No, Drew. You can say it in that sexy ass voice as many times as you want to but the answer is no.”

He smiles at me. “So my voice is sexy, huh?” He kisses me, and this time I let him.

He can make me forget everything just by kissing me. Why was I even mad at him last night? It hits me and I push him away.

“What?”

“I’m not your girlfriend.”

He laughs at me. “Yeah, you are.”

Drew leans in to kiss me again but I pull away. “No, I’m not. First, you would have needed to ask me. Second, I would have had to say yes.
Neither
of those things happened, so like I said, I am NOT your girlfriend.”

“Okay.” He takes a deep breath. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

“No.”

His eyes get so big I think they might pop out of his head. “Why the hell not?”

“Because I don’t want a boyfriend, Drew. I didn’t think you wanted a girlfriend, either, or I would have never gotten involved with you.”

I start to get up but he pulls me back down. “Fine, the truth is, I don’t really want a girlfriend. I
do
want
you
, James. I want to have you whenever I can, and I want to be the only one who gets to have you. Do I want a girlfriend always nagging me and questioning where I’ve been? Fuck, no.” He slides over closer to me. “Like I said, though, I want
you
.”

What can I even say to that? I know I should just tell him no to everything. Drew Walker isn’t good for me in almost every way imaginable, but he is good for me in the one way I need him to be. I can stand to be around him and be close to him. He’s my one source of acceptable human contact.

“Hey, stop thinking so much. Don’t worry about what other people will think, fuck them. What do
you
want? I’ll tell you what
I
want. I want you to be mine in every way imaginable. Just say yes.”

Ugh, screw everyone else.
“Yes.”

Before I can blink, he’s on top of me, ripping my shirt over my head. My phone starts to ring but we ignore it; there’s no one I want to talk to. I grasp the edges of Drew’s shirt and lift it over his head. His hands find the waistband of my pants and slip under them. The spell between us is broken by a loud banging on the door.

“Just ignore it.” He kisses me but the banging starts again. “I’m going to fucking
kill
whoever is on the other side of that door.”

I grab for his shirt and pull it back on. He looks back at me, I guess to make sure I’m dressed, and then shakes his head. “This better be fucking good.” He opens the door and my mouth drops open.

What the hell is Carter doing here?
He storms into the room, pushing past Drew, and heading straight for me. “Let’s go.”