Breaking Leila (29 page)

“Some of them.
I mean…I wouldn’t have chosen many. But you got to see a different
side of people and that was fascinating, I suppose.”

“Wasn’t it
really uncomfortable, sleeping with someone you didn’t like?”

I smiled
faintly. “That’s what they invented lube for. But also…I got a kick
out of it. The nature of the act.” I played with the button on his
fly. “It’s like a good excuse to be slutty.”

He laughed.
“You need an excuse?”

“You’d be
surprised.” I paused to steal a sip of his Coke. “Does that sound
really weird?”

“A bit. I
wouldn’t really know, though. Haven’t done it myself.”

I kissed him as if I could measure his desire, his judgment.
His hands, so warm on my thighs, squeezed as if he told me in Morse
code,
 
It’s
okay
.

“Do you want to
know what the worst thing was?” I asked.

He nodded.

“Tasting cigarettes on them. You could taste
it
 
everywhere
.” I jutted my tongue at
him in disgust. “Yeuck.”

“
That
 
was the worst thing? Didn’t
you worry about meeting a psycho or something?”

“At first,
yeah. But Will–and John, my driver–they looked after me. I got
really lucky with Ladarna because they had such a reputation. They
could cherry pick their clients, almost.” I chewed my bottom lip.
“Don’t get me wrong…there were men I asked not to go back to. The
coked up ones, mainly. This one guy–I caught him putting something
into my drink.”

His arm
tightened around me. “What happened?”

“I asked him to
fetch something from the bathroom and I left. They put him on the
blacklist.”

“Couldn’t he
have just lied like we did and gone back to them with another
name?”

“I suppose he
could, yeah.” I was quiet for a moment, mulling over his point.
“That’s the kind of risk you take in the end.”

He tipped my
chin up and I hit very dark eyes. “And has it been worth it, in the
end?”

“You’ve met my
parents, you’ve seen where they live. What do you think?” I
whispered.

“If the bank
decided you needed more money, would you do it again?”

“If I had no
other option.”

Silence. He
pretended to stare at the television and I tugged at his collar
gently.

“Do you still
want me?”

“Do I get
something they don’t?”

His belt buckle
clicked against my nails. “You get to come sleep next to me, if you
want.”

He was the one
who led me to the bedroom, his fingers knotted in mine.

* * * *

“New York?”
Aidan screeched over the phone. “Oh my God! You’re going to love
it, Lei-Lei!”

“I’ve already
been.” I collapsed in a heap of dry cleaning. “I went with some
friends back at uni.”

“It’s a shame
you’re not still working. You could make a packet.”

“Technically, I
 
will
 
be working,” I
grumbled.

“Oh?”

I slit plastic
covers with a fingernail and put suit jackets onto hangers. “My
boss, remember? I still owe him.”

“I remember.
Daddy wants control,” he tittered.

“I don’t like
Daddy right now.” I pouted.

“What did Matt
say about it?”

Was that a girl
moaning in the background? “Aid, are you with someone?”

“Yes. Stop
avoiding my question.”

A flush claimed
my cheeks; Charlotte bounced for a high-five. Typical. “Who is
it?”

“She’s not
really in the mood for talking. You haven’t told Matt yet, have
you?” he demanded. “Well?”

“Nope.”

“You are a very
naughty whore.”

“Why, thank
you.” I rolled my eyes.

“Sorry. I was talking to Claire here.
 
You’re
 
just plain mean.”

“Aidan…what the
fuck?”

“What? She
doesn’t mind.” The familiar sounds of slapping flesh wobbled down
the line. “Do you, baby?”

Another
moan.

“Call me back
in five,” I hissed.

“Pfft. Ten.
Give me some credit.” He laughed and hung up.

I went back to sorting my clothes. I’d dropped my most
professional-looking stuff off on Tuesday evening so it was all
ready for packing. It would take me several days, and I also knew I
needed to go shopping. What was it about the
words
 
New
 
and
 
York
 
that made a woman feel three seasons out of date?

Then I needed
to decide what to wear for Charlie. I know, I know…I shouldn’t have
cared about it, but I did. So there. I had too much history with
him to turn up in Clemmie’s postmodern Sloaning gear–which I had
already returned, anyway.

My phone buzzed
with Aidan’s name and I shook my head as I picked up.

“Are you done
yet?”

He did a very
bad job of faking an orgasm.

“What
 
is
 
that, an ostrich dying?”

“Are you saying
I’m not sexy?”

“I’m saying
that awful wailing isn’t worth four hundred quid an hour.”

“Bitch. You’re
just jealous.”

“Did she not
take offense to you gabbering away at me?” I giggled.

“Lei-Lei. When
your cock has its own postcode, women kind of zone out. Claire went
to Oz, okay? She couldn’t hear me.”

“Did she take
her little dog, too?”

“She’s
currently rocking in the corner. What’s that, baby?” he called.
“There’s no place like bone?”

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. “You
say
 
I’m
 
mean?”

“You are.
You’re going to rip out Matt-Matt’s heart and throw it to sharks
with frickin’ laser beams. Gabe Tovey wrote a song about what
you’re going to do to him and it’s no Chris de Burgh.”

I tutted.
“What’s it about then?”

“
A wounded badger stumbling into a
pit of desertion!
” he bellowed.

“Is that meant
to be…singing?”

“Fuck off. I’m
serious though. You’d best send him in my direction when he’s all
vulnerable and easy.” He paused and there was a playful giggle.
Claire had come back for more. “I am going to suck that man.”

“Er…he’s still
my boyfriend, Aid. Don’t make any plans just yet.”

“Oh, your
boyfriend now, is he? I like that. You’ve shagged him.” He laughed,
triumphant.

“Quite
thoroughly.” I smirked. “He was easy enough to break in the
end.”

“You can thank
me when you’re ready.”

“What do you mean,
 
thank
 
you?”

“I gave him a
pep talk at the wedding,” he declared. “I kept dropping in things
like how you get bored very easily if you’re not having sex, or
blowing farm animals, that kind of stuff.”

“Thank you, oh
great one. I’m sure your subtle, wily ways were just what sorted
him out.” It definitely wasn’t watching me masturbate, oh no.

“Damn straight.
Now. When are you flying out?”

“Sunday. I’m
packing as we speak.”

“Which
airline?”

“Fuck, ow!” The
wardrobe bit my finger and I leaped around with manic jazz
hands.

“Have you got
someone there too?”

“Sadly not.
Stupid furniture’s got teeth. And I can’t remember which airline.
Why?”

“I’m coming
with you!”

“Er. No, you
aren’t.”

“Yes I fucking
well am, Lei-Lei. I’ve had a good few weeks. I can think of nothing
I’d rather do than jet off and distract young Matthew while Mr Boss
Man subjects you to some serious pelvic toning.”

Oh dear. I
could see it already: a run-down karaoke bar, topless waitresses
with filthy scowls and names like Betty and Juliet, Matt and Aidan
throwing chips at each other and bellowing British obscenities.

“I’m not so
sure that’s a good idea,” I said weakly.

“Look. I might
be vulgar and tactless–I’m quite proud of it, actually–but I’m not
stupid. We both know that it’s all going to go horribly wrong over
there.”

“Don’t say
that,” I muttered.

“Well, it is.
And one of you is going to need some company.”

“I suppose
so.”

“Text me the
airline and the flight number, when you get them. And think of the
shopping!”

Claire cooed
something disgusting.

“You fucking
slut. On your knees for me!”

“That wasn’t
aimed at me either, was it?”

“Why, do you
fancy joining us? We’ve got anal beads like watermelons, just your
type. You could bring those condoms.” He paused to titter again.
“Might be needing them.”

“Too right, you
diseased flesh heap.”

“You’re not in a good mood at
 
all
.
You need to get laid more often.”

On the
contrary–that was half the problem.

Chapter 13

So much for summer. Thursday’s sky was a charcoal menagerie
and the raindrops fat and cold. While out running, I skidded on my
heel in front of a bunch of students and almost fell into a hedge.
Dignity sank in a puddle with a mocking little
 
gulp
.

Today would not
be a good day, I knew this. There was a knife with my name on
it.

Poppy paced the
office as I arrived. She shot a pale glance in my direction as I
dumped my briefcase and peeled off my sodden coat.

“Can we talk
for a minute?” she asked.

“Is everything
okay?”

“Yeah.”

She beckoned me
over and I sat at her desk.

“Look, Joseph
said I ought to tell you…well. Um.” She toyed with her glasses.
“You know how I’d applied to move upstairs, to litigation?”

I nodded.

She winced. “I
sort of changed my mind.”

“Okay. So
what’s the problem?”

“I’ve applied
here, to stay in Joseph’s office. Applied for the same place as
you.” She watched closely for my reaction.

“Isn’t it a bit
late for that?” I didn’t know how I felt, actually.

“He said it was
all right, since the deadline isn’t until tomorrow. I’m really
sorry, Leila. I hate the idea of competing with you…just wanted to
be honest and all.”

“Yeah. Thanks,”
I said absently. I was still trying to absorb what this meant.
“Well good luck, anyway.”

“You too.” She
sighed, visibly relieved. “I was so worried you’d be peed at
me.”

“Everyone’s
entitled to apply,” I said slowly.

“Yeah, well.”
She stood up. “I’m going to nip and get coffee. Do you want
one?”

“Please.”

My stomach
churned. I’d never felt threatened here before, not until now. I
rose slowly and knocked on Joseph’s door.

“Come in.” He
offered no courteous glance as I entered.

“Do I need to
look for another job?” I asked quietly.

He patted his
knee, still staring at his computer. I tried to ignore it.

“Sit down,” he
murmured.

Exhaling, I sank down on to his lap and he caressed the small
of my back.
 
Oh
.

“Now,” he said,
“you talked to Poppy.”

“Yes.”

“I told her it
was a stupid move and she didn’t seem particularly fazed.” He sat
back and drank me in, his other hand coming to rest on my thigh.
“Who has consistently outperformed everyone else on her seat?”

“Erm.” Heat
rushed over my cheeks. “Me?”

“Indeed.”

My nipples grew
hard, jutted toward him.

“So…I don’t
have to worry?” I asked.

“No,
sweetheart. Not so long as you keep your part in our other little
deal.”

I lowered my
eyes for a moment and noticed a flicker on his screen. “Joe…are you
watching Buffy?”

His wrist
snapped sideways and he clicked it off. “No.”

“Yes, you
were.” I giggled, trying to wrestle the mouse off him. “Waaah…shall
I bring my boxed set for you next week?”

He scowled at
me. “You blab and I’ll tell the whole office you’re out at lunch to
buy support knickers.”

“I’ll tell them they’re for
 
you
.”

“Minx.” He
peeled my fingers off the mouse and knotted them with his. “You’ve
got very soft hands.”

“Tha–oh, you’re a sly one. I’m not
 
that
 
slow. Who do you prefer–good
Willow or evil Willow?”

“I’m not
answering that.” He laughed.

“I can’t
believe you’re sat here indulging your vampire fetish on office
time.”

“Firstly, it’s
not a vampire fetish. Joss Whedon is a genius. Is that clear?”

Don’t
smirk!

“Secondly.” He put on a high pitched voice. “It’s eight AM.
I’m not
 
technically
 
at work. So you, little girl, can shut the fuck up.” He
brushed my chin with his fist and eased me up. “Now run along and
do something brilliant.”

“Yes, Sir.” I
made a salute as I rose.

“Oh, and
Leila?”

I turned,
biting my lip. “Yes?”

“I like
stockings. The pretty sheer ones.”

“I have those.”
A teasing smile spread across my face.

“Good.” Did his
eyes just get even greener? “What shoe size are you?”

“A six.”

“A six.” His
fingers dug into the arm of his chair. “That’ll be all.”