Breathe (13 page)

He dragged his moist lips up and down the length of Lincoln"s dick, learning

every inch of flesh. His own cock throbbed in his pants, blood thundering to it in a

rush like it hadn"t in a long time. Pleasure, like the caress of a palm, surged

through his balls. He sucked harder, moved his head faster, all while he sped his

hand over the base of Lincoln"s cock.

Lincoln grunted with the changes. He snapped his hips and gripped Jay"s

shoulder, his fingers digging in. “Christ.”

A burst of warm cum hit the back of Jay"s throat. He breathed deep through

his nose to keep from gagging, pulled to the tip, and swallowed. Lincoln shot more.

It was sharp, bitter, stronger than the tastes Jay"d had of his own cum. He craved

more for the comparison, but Lincoln was growing soft, the man"s breath coming in

heavy pants above him. Lincoln grasped his dick and withdrew.

A heady dizziness overwhelmed Jay. He drew in another long breath and rose

to his feet, licking his lips.

Lincoln had one hand on the wall next to Jay, the other still on his dick. He

stared at Jay"s chest, and his face grew pale.

Jay followed the man"s gaze. There over his T-shirt lay the two simple gold

bands. They must have slipped in front of the shirt when he and Lincoln shoved at

Breathe

63

each other—or when he"d given the man a blowjob. Jay clenched the rings in his

palm.

“Fuck.” Lincoln backed up and zipped his pants shut. “We can"t—”

“I know.” Jay couldn"t look away from his own hand covering the rings on his

chest. “I just… I wanted to.” He raised his head. “Wanted to taste you.”

Lincoln ran a shaking hand through his hair. “I"ve got to get back to the kids.”

He went for the door and stopped with his hand on the doorknob. “I had to protect

her. Had to keep her safe.”

“Who?”

The tension in his broad shoulders was unmistakable. Lincoln drew in a long

breath but didn"t face Jay. “My sister"s husband was beating her. She called me for

help that night.” He twisted the doorknob. “It"s not an excuse. It"s just where my

head was then. I was trying to save her, and I ended up—” He rested his forehead

on the door. “I"m sorry.”

Jay"s mouth dried. He couldn"t swallow.

Lincoln opened the door. “I don"t want anyone else to get hurt. Meet me at

Sonny"s. Tomorrow at five. You"re going to help me find out who stole Jessica"s

inhalers, who"s leaving the notes, or I"m going to the cops.”

“Okay,” Jay said.

The other man didn"t glance back as he left.

Jay slid down the wall and landed on his ass. He lowered his head to his

knees, the gold bands still in his grip. The shrill ring of the phone in the kitchen

startled him.

Oh God
. Todd could have walked in at any moment and seen him in Lincoln

McCaw"s arms, seen Lincoln"s dick in his mouth. No one would forgive him for that.

What was he doing? And how the hell could he make himself stop?

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Sloan Parker

Chapter Eleven

“Jesus, kid.”

“What?” On unsteady legs, Jay stood beside Lincoln"s table at Sonny"s Tavern.

They were about to go after whoever was threatening Lincoln—go after someone

Jay cared about. That had to be what was getting to him. It had nothing to do with

seeing the only man to whom he"d ever given a blowjob.

“Do you have to look so damn good?” Lincoln whispered.

Jay sank into a chair. “You said you wanted to talk about—”

“I know.” Lincoln"s voice lowered more. “Doesn"t mean I still don"t want to fuck

you.”

Jay stared at Lincoln, mouth hanging open until he realized what he was

doing and forced himself to glance away. He licked his lips and said, “We can"t.”

“Right.” Lincoln straightened in the chair. “But I need to figure out who"s

sending me this shit, who broke into my sister"s. You think it"s someone in your

family? Hers?”

His mom, Stuart Shaw—maybe. But Emily? His dad? “They wouldn"t hurt a

little kid. There has to be an explanation. Even if one of them sent you—”

“How do we find out?”

“It can"t be…” They wouldn"t hurt anyone. Would they? They all despised

Lincoln, but they had their limits. Even Stuart Shaw. Keeping medication from a

five-year-old girl had to qualify. “They wouldn"t go that far.”

“Really?”

Jay stared at Lincoln, then dropped his gaze to the tabletop. He had to quit

gawking at the man. Especially when Lincoln looked so damn sexy all Jay could

think of was kissing those lips again. Better to stay focused on why they were there.

Better to stay focused on who Lincoln was.

“I guess… I don"t know. My parents, her parents—they all…”

“Hate me?”

Jay nodded.

“Okay,” Lincoln said. “Let"s not rule them out. Who else? Anyone else care

about your wife enough to want to hurt me?”

“A lot of people cared for her. She was easy to love.” Whoever had taken that

love and turned it into vengeance hadn"t really known his wife, or they"d know she"d

never want this.

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65

Lincoln rubbed his chin with the back of his hand. The slight shake was hard

to miss. He reached for his beer and took a long swallow. “Besides her parents, is

there anyone else from her family in the area?”

Family? Jay was her family. Even before they were married. “No. They moved

here for a coaching job after Stuart retired from pro ball.”

“You got family? Other than your parents?”

“My brother. And his wife.”

“What about him?”

Jay shook his head as a waitress stopped by the table. He ordered a draft and

tried to pretend they weren"t running through a list of the people in his life like they

were suspects in a murder mystery novel.

After the waitress brought the beer, Lincoln asked, “Why not?”

“He"s my brother.”

“So your mom and dad go on the list but not your brother?”

This was crazy. Todd was an EMT. He wouldn"t fuck with a little girl"s

medicine. But he"d loved Katie too. He had as much motive as anyone else. He also

spent a lot of time trying to please their mom. He"d do almost anything she asked.

Was Todd carrying out her wishes? “Okay, my brother too.” Jay downed a gulp of

the beer and sat back heavy in his chair. “I can"t believe we"re having this

discussion.”

Lincoln"s eyes narrowed. “Told you, I can have it with the cops if you prefer.”

You"d think the man would be in a better mood when the day before he"d had

what was probably his first blowjob in months. Was Jay no good at giving head? No.

The noises Lincoln had made when he came proved Jay had done a damn fine job.

And it had felt fine for Jay too. So much so his cock was excited at the possibility of

another round.

But he couldn"t go there. Not again.

Instead he asked, “Why didn"t you go to the cops when you got the first letter?”

“I thought they were from you. That it was a grieving widower getting a little

payback.” Lincoln raised his bottle for another drink and added, “I figured I

deserved at least that much.”

“It was an accident.”

Lincoln was quiet as he set the beer on the table and rotated the bottle in his

hand. “It was. One I"ll regret for the rest of my life.”

Jay wanted to tell him the truth. That she was only out driving that night

because of him. That maybe Lincoln didn"t need to carry the burden alone. But all

he could do was stare at the man.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Lincoln said.

“Like what?”

“Like you understand me.”

66

Sloan Parker

“Maybe I do.”

“You"re not supposed to. You"re supposed to hate me.”

“I suppose. But I don"t.”

Lincoln"s throat muscles worked as he swallowed. The man"s Adam apple

bobbed. Jay wanted to suck on it, wanted to taste the man"s skin.

“Don"t look at me like that either.”

“Okay.” Without another word Jay stood, walked to the other side of the bar,

and slipped into the bathroom. He needed a minute away from the man to clear his

head, to convince his dick this was a bad idea. The worst of his life.

The sight of the old whiskey-sipping man draining the last of his piss into a

urinal helped calm Jay down. Sonny"s wasn"t the place to get caught up in some

fantasy. Not a gay sexual fantasy. And not with Lincoln McCaw.

The old man shuffled his way to the door.
Back to the glass of booze.

Why couldn"t Jay"s life be that simple?

He washed his hands, the cool water spilling over his heated flesh. The door

opened again. Three large strides and Lincoln was behind Jay as the outer door

swung shut, crowding him against the sink, pinning his half-hard dick to the

porcelain. He said, “I haven"t fucked in over a year so you better quit teasing me.”

No matter what Jay"s brain was telling him about what a fucked-up idea this

was, he could not ignore the solid cock wedged against his ass cheek.
No more

thinking
. He turned and gripped Lincoln"s neck. He drew the man to him. The kiss

was slow and sensual, but tinged with desperate need, a longing months alone

created in a man. Lincoln drove their mouths, their tongues, their bodies together,

over and over. He consumed Jay with the kiss as they rocked and clutched. The

taste of Lincoln, his smell, his touch was everywhere, all over Jay at once, and he

didn"t want it to end. He wanted to let Lincoln overwhelm him, let them both fall

into an abyss of pleasure and satiation until neither man needed another drink to

forget how he had gotten to that moment.

The bathroom door swung open and loud music poured in.

Lincoln twisted away from the embrace and stepped to a urinal. A bulky guy in

a flannel shirt entered, laughing at something or someone out in the bar, his back to

them. Jay returned his shaking hands to the faucet"s spray.

The burly man kept chuckling as he staggered to a stall and shut the door

behind him.

Lincoln moved past Jay, the length of his arm rubbing along Jay"s back. “We"ve

got to stop doing this here,” he said in a low whisper as he cranked on the faucet a

couple of sinks down.

“No shit.” Jay reached for a hand towel. He tossed the towel in the trash and

went out to their table.

Lincoln joined him but didn"t sit. “We could go to your place.”

“No.” Jay glanced around the room. No one was paying attention to them.

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67

“Right.” Lincoln took a step back and made like he was going to sit.

“I meant, not my house.” Jay stood. “Can we make it your place?” He fumbled

into his pocket for his keys, hoping Lincoln said yes before either of them changed

their minds.

“Yeah,” Lincoln said. “That"ll work. But no laughing at me.”

* * *

it"s a
twin
bed.” Jay did laugh then. It was all too goddamn unbelievable. He stood

in Lincoln McCaw"s bedroom—or what had become the man"s room—about to do

something he"d only dreamed of, with a man he shouldn"t be talking with, much less

anything else with.

Lincoln threw his jacket at the desk. The chair fell over with the weight of the

leather, but it didn"t stop him. He crowded Jay against the closed door. “It"s my

nephew"s room. I told you not to laugh.” He covered Jay"s lips with his.

The kiss had Jay right back to where they"d left things at the bar.

Kissing another man—this man—was as hot and exciting as the first time,

standing in the snow behind Sonny"s. Lincoln ripped open the front of Jay"s jeans

and thrust a hand inside his briefs, all without breaking the intense kiss.

Jay had to break it off, though. He needed to breathe. Lincoln"s hand touched

his dick, and Jay arched his back. He held on to Lincoln"s upper arms. The hint of

the man"s tattoo stuck out past the edge of the T-shirt. Jay would"ve asked to see it,

but he was a little distracted. He thrust his hips with each stroke.

It was too easy to give in, to feel instead of think. He jerked back. “Wait.

Nephew? Is anyone else home?”

“Nope,” Lincoln said. “So you can come up with another reason to back out of

this if you want.”

“Back out?”

Lincoln cocked his head to the side and squinted. “You sure you"re gay?”

“What?”

“I don"t have an issue with liking to fuck guys. Don"t want to be with someone

who"s going to freak halfway through this.” Lincoln"s gaze fell. He stroked Jay"s cock

again and said, “Been too long.”

“I"m not going to freak. I wanted to kiss you.” He rocked more as Lincoln

jerked him faster. “Wanted to suck you.”

“Doesn"t mean you want to fuck me.” Lincoln shook his head, still not meeting

Jay"s gaze. “Not me.”

“Oh.” Jay dropped his hands to his sides. “I don"t know”—he breathed deep—“I

don"t know what I"m doing here.”

“That"s what I thought.” Lincoln slid his hand out of Jay"s pants.