Breathe (31 page)

and dropped the hammer into the toolbox sitting near the door. “You"re too smart

not to.” He breathed deep, and his back tensed. He finally faced Jay.

It was Jay"s turn not to make eye contact. Across the room, the sleeping bag

lay spread open on the floor. Next to it: a duffel bag with clothes sticking out the

top, and a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel"s lying on its side. “You"re sleeping up

here?”

“Adam deserved to have some space.” Lincoln wiped sweat from his brow with

the side of a fist and added, “He"s in high school,” as if he"d just figured that out.

“I owe you an explanation.”

Lincoln scoffed and said, “You don"t. I knew from the moment you told me your

name this would never last.”

“I want it to.”

“Christ.” Lincoln strode to where he"d been working and picked up a box of

nails. “Don"t say that shit to me.” He crossed the room again and jammed the box on

top of the tools. Any more force and he"d have rammed the nails through the thin

cardboard and into his palm.

“I have to.” Jay stepped closer.

“Why are you here?”

“I need to explain. About everything.” Another step. “It was my mom.”

Lincoln nodded. He returned to the half-finished wall, grabbed a utility knife

off the floor, and slammed it on top of the nails in the toolbox. “I"m not going to the

cops. You say she"s done, I believe you.” Lincoln lifted his head and looked at Jay,

those dark eyes serious. Frustrated. Hurt.

Jay advanced. For the second time in his life, he didn"t give a shit what anyone

else said about his choice in a lover. He seized Lincoln by the waist and crushed his

mouth to the other man"s. Lincoln spread his lips and grabbed hold of Jay. No

Breathe

159

hesitation. No delay. Everything faded but the strength of that kiss, the power, the

depth, the drive of man against man.

The clutching, the clawing at clothes, the rocking of bodies, the heat of tongue

on tongue—it was gloriously distracting. Jay wasn"t aware they were moving until

Lincoln lowered him to the sleeping bag. The slight separation of their bodies as

they lay down was too much.

Jay tugged Lincoln closer. “I need you.”

Lincoln pressed his body against Jay in all the right places, but they still had

their clothes on. Jay would"ve done something about it. But he couldn"t stop the

kissing, the touching, for anything.

Good thing Lincoln had better ideas. He pulled back and ripped open his own

jeans then Jay"s. He shoved his hands down the front of their pants and released

their pricks. Draping his body over Jay"s, he planted a hand on either side of Jay"s

head, and thrust his hips forward as he came in for another kiss.

The slide of their shafts, the taste of Lincoln, the touch, the smell of him—

more intense, better than any fuck they"d had so far.

Yet, right then, Jay wanted to give Lincoln more. “Wait.”

Maybe Lincoln didn"t hear him. He kept driving forward.

Jay arched his back and pushed his pelvis against Lincoln"s, a contrast to his

next word. “Stop.”

Lincoln stilled. Their bodies still fused together, he dropped his forehead to

Jay"s shoulder and exhaled, the warm breath hitting the sensitive skin of Jay"s

neck. “We have to stop?” he asked in a low whisper.

“God, no. I want more. I want you naked. Want you to make love to me.”

Lincoln"s breath hitched. He rose up. “Get your clothes off. I"ve got lube in my

bag.” He rolled away and worked his jeans off.

Jay did the same and lay naked on the sleeping bag while Lincoln searched

through his duffel bag full of possessions. He came back with a condom and lube.

Jay didn"t have to give it thought. As easy as breathing. He stole the condom and

flung it like a Frisbee across the room. The small package ricocheted off the newly

constructed wall.

The
smack
of it hitting the floor pierced the silence that had fallen over them.

Lincoln stared where it had landed. When he finally moved, he rolled slowly atop

Jay, their legs, hips, groins touching. He held Jay"s face in his hand, swiping a

thumb over his lower lip. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Jay ducked his head and sucked on the tip of Lincoln"s thumb. “Want to

feel you like that. No one else but you.”

The kiss came fast and hard, and Jay couldn"t breathe by the time it ended.

Good thing Lincoln wanted him too much to wait for long. The man sat back on his

heels. He slathered lube on his cock and more between Jay"s spread ass cheeks,

penetrating him with those thick, strong fingers. Jay would never tire of Lincoln"s

160

Sloan Parker

hands, the strength of his touch. He spread his legs and lifted them as he scooted

toward Lincoln, offering himself in what should have felt like a ridiculously blatant,

wanton move, but didn"t. It felt like the truest thing he"d ever done. He wanted to

see Lincoln while they made love, wanted to watch the man"s face as he came inside

Jay with nothing in the way for the first time.

The only time?

No. Jay wouldn"t think about that, couldn"t think about anything but feeling

Lincoln—all of him.

Lincoln stared at Jay"s spread thighs then slowly raised his head. “This is

what you want?”

“Yes.” Jay stroked the side of Lincoln"s face. A loving gesture. One he couldn"t

explain to either of them. “I"m scared.”

“We don"t have to. Just let me get the rubber and you can roll over.”

“Not that.”

“Oh.” Lincoln"s gaze fell to the rings on Jay"s chest. “Of feeling something for

the man who destroyed your life?”

Jay sat up and cupped Lincoln"s cheek in his hand. “Don"t say that. I don"t

want to hurt anymore. What if this doesn"t work? What if it can"t work?”

“All we can do is try.” Lincoln kissed the palm of his hand. “If you can take a

chance, I can.”

“I think I have to.”

Lincoln surged forward until they lay back on the floor again. He kissed Jay, a

sweet slide of tongue over lips and said, “You"re the bravest person I"ve ever

known.” He shifted his hips, lifting Jay"s legs higher with the change, and entered

him.

He began a slow, sensual rock, and Jay moved with him, loving the slide of

body to body with nothing between them any longer.

If only there were nothing else between them in every other way.

* * *

He had to hurry and get a bed. He couldn"t keep sleeping on the floor. Then it came

to him. He"d done more than sleep on the floor. And that had him smiling.

They"d had sex twice the night before. Once before falling asleep. Again when

Lincoln had awakened from an erotic dream full of Jay-flavored blowjobs. He hadn"t

bothered to wake Jay. He straddled the man and drew cock into mouth. A few pulls

of his lips and one long suck of the crown, and Jay woke up. The words, “Oh. My.

God,” were all Lincoln understood before Jay started moaning.

It urged him on. He sucked Jay to climax, then stroked himself until he came

on Jay"s abdomen. Jay lazily ran his fingers through the cum and smeared it over

the tattoo on Lincoln"s arm. Lincoln joined him, spreading the cum around Jay"s

Breathe

161

nipples, then collapsed on Jay, both men laughing until the sated drowsiness

claimed them.

The best night of his life.

Lincoln opened his eyes and smiled again. Jay still lay next to him on the

unzipped sleeping bag, a sheet Lincoln had been using as a blanket spread across

them. Jay was lying on his stomach, facing away from him. The sheet barely

covered the top of Jay"s ass. Lincoln reached out and caressed his bare back. The

flesh jumped at his touch, and a low moan from Jay had Lincoln"s morning hard-on

stiffening more.

“I miss the robots,” Jay said, then laughed as he turned his head to face

Lincoln. He rested a cheek on his forearm. “At least the bed was softer than this

sleeping bag.”

“Won"t take much more to get the room done.”

“It"ll be great.” Jay rolled onto his side and glanced around. “Not much space,

though.”

“Yeah, but it"s private.” Lincoln wound his arm around Jay and pulled him

close. “I"ve got to start over. Get my life back on track.”

“I"d like to help.”

Lincoln buried his nose in Jay"s hair, taking in the scent of shampoo, sweat,

and cum. His fingers had been damp with it when he"d run them through Jay"s hair

as they fell asleep.

He"d been so easily distracted. One kiss from Jay, and Lincoln would do

anything to keep seeing him. But was it the right thing to do? “You shouldn"t want

to help me. It doesn"t make sense.”

Jay took Lincoln"s face in his hands and kissed him. “We"ll figure it out.”

He wanted to protest, wanted to be strong for Jay, pull away if it was what

was best, but most of all, he wanted Jay.

He was losing his mind. Sex and attraction and laughter and friendship—it

was all making him comfortable. Happy. Delusional?

Jay smiled. And Lincoln didn"t give a shit about delusions. He wanted more of

that smile, of Jay"s laugh.

And he got it. After Jay"s stomach growled, he laughed again.

“Hungry?”

“Uh, maybe.” Then Jay"s face grew serious. “I haven"t been eating much.”

Lincoln rubbed a hand over Jay"s abs, and the man shivered.

He"d never get used to Jay"s reactions. No one had ever been so open, so there

in every moment. “I"ll see what we have to eat.” He kissed Jay"s forehead and sat

up. “Wait here.”

“No. Come here.” Jay tugged him to the sleeping bag. “Let"s go to my place.

We"ll lounge around all day. Eat. Sex. Sleep. TV. Repeat.”

162

Sloan Parker

“Sounds good. But I"ve seen your house. You have no food. Or dishes. Or a

clean place to eat.”

“But we"ll be alone. Your clean dishes and food come with three children and a

sister.”

“Good point. I love those kids, but they do cramp a guy"s love life.”

Love life?

He was going to scare Jay. But the man didn"t look scared as he ran his thumb

over Lincoln"s mouth. He caressed lower, moving his fingers down Lincoln"s neck,

past his shoulder to the tattoo, tracing the lines of the eagle feather. “You"re a great

uncle.” He kept moving his fingers over and around the inked skin.

Lincoln wasn"t sure the way Jay touched him was a good thing. They were

moving far beyond “let"s try to make this work” and were slamming headfirst into a

love affair he didn"t think he"d ever want to give up. He picked up his underwear

and stood to dress.

Jay asked, “Did you know the Iroquois used to value the uncle more than the

father?”

Lincoln zipped his jeans closed, then spread out on his stomach beside Jay.

“What are you talking about?”

“A lot of times, the father didn"t live with his children. Extended families on

the mother"s side lived together. The uncle filled the role of father and was more

important to the kids than their biological father. The term „uncle" held great

respect.”

“Is that true?”

“Uh-huh. I looked it up.”

“You—when?”

“The other day. I remembered a book of Native American customs and myths

I"d read in high school that mentioned it. It reminded me of you and the kids.”

Lincoln tried to pretend moisture wasn"t building in his eyes.

Yeah. There was no way to avoid it. He was in love with Jay Miller.

Breathe

163

Chapter Twenty-three

“Beer?”

Jay shook his head. “I don"t need any. You?” He held his breath as he waited.

Lincoln replaced the six-pack in the cooler and readjusted his armload of chips

and hot dogs. “Me neither.”

A wave of relief crashed into Jay. He didn"t like thinking of Lincoln drinking

alone in the room above the garage for the past week. The man had been through

enough.

Hadn"t they all?

Lincoln stepped up to him. “I don"t suppose you have ketchup or mustard for

the dogs?” The tone he used to ask the question didn"t fit the words. More like he

asked for a blowjob right there in aisle five of the Edgefield Super Value.

Jay laughed. It felt good, so he did it again. They were alone in the aisle. He

shifted the hot dog buns and corn chips to his left arm and reached out to swipe his

thumb over Lincoln"s bottom lip, a promise for later. “If I have any in the fridge, we

wouldn"t want to use it. I"ll go grab some.”

It required all his willpower to turn and step away from Lincoln. Silly. But a

year of misery had him craving the company, craving the relaxed ease of being with

Lincoln. Jay forced himself to move and hustled down the aisle. He thought he

heard his name behind him, but not in Lincoln"s low voice, so he kept moving.

Funny how familiar that sound was to him now. He made quick work of grabbing