Breathe With Me (The Breathe Series Book 3) (8 page)

Stepping onto the dock with a quiet knock of my boot against the wood surface, I stare forward, making out a small silhouette positioned on the edge, looking out to the water.
Just as I thought.
I take a deep breath and my heart stumbles, completely lost in my memories.

“Catching anything good?”

Sitting quietly with my feet swaying below the edge of the dock, the squeaky voice comes as a surprise. I turn my head, keeping my hands gripped to my fishing pole. Standing above me is the same girl I saw earlier today. Her black hair hangs in a mess over her bony shoulders and pale white skin. A ruffled brown swimsuit hangs around her neck, topped off by blue jean shorts with frayed white strings suspended along the entire circumference of her leg.

“Not much,” I say, looking up through my eyelashes.

“I bet there’s some big fish in there. What all do you do around here?”

Her question strikes me as odd given there is a lake to swim in, boats and jet skis to rent, a beach and docks to jump and fish off of.

“Pretty much this,” I shrug.

“Oh…everyday?”

Now she’s just being silly. “No, I mean, well yeah, I guess I do most days. Me and my brother go out on the boat and fish, but we go swimming too.”

She glances over at the boats with a spark of excitement in her eyes.

“Can I go out on the boat sometime?”

With a cramp sneaking up in my hand, I shift my pole and loosen my grip as I stare at her surprised by her question. Those are Grandpa’s boats, definitely not the ones they rent.

“Those are my grandpas,” I snap out before thinking about it. “He doesn’t let anyone rent these, but there’s ones for rent at the first dock over by The Snack Shack.”

Glancing back to the boat, her shoulders fall and she cocks her lips to one side as if she is biting the inside of her mouth.

“But I could take you out in the boat sometime,” I add, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

This ignites a huge grin as her face springs back to level me with a thankful expression.

“Really? Ok…maybe later today?”

I don’t have much going on, but Grandpa won’t let me take it out after dark. “Ok,” I nudge my shoulders up undecidedly. “But not too late.” I point at her with one hand before bringing it back to my pole.

Her lips curve into a wide grin showing off a mouth full of braces as she sticks her hand out between us. I look up, surprised to see a girl wanting to shake hands.

“I’m Piper, by the way.”

I snap my head back up to her face, a sense of excitement swallowing me up at her introduction. After years of bouncing back and forth from Army base to Army base and then even the last few years since I’ve been settled here, through it all, I’ve never found a friend. I’ve never had one. Sure, I’ve played with the other kids on base and talked to a couple in my class at school, but this…

I look back at her hand and a smile rises over my lips. My heart pounds and my fingers fumble to keep the grip on my pole as I release one hand and take hers in mine. Keeping in mind on how Dad always says that handshakes should be firm and authoritive, I tighten my grip, immediately noticing how soft her skin is compared to mine. With that in mind, I look back at her and move my hand up and down with a slightly less sturdy hold than I would normally have. I bet she’s more fragile than a boy; besides, Dad will never know.

“Hi, I’m Evan.”

Her smile grows and so does mine with the thought of having a fishing buddy or someone to dunk into the lake. She takes a seat as if invited and even though there is a sign on the dock that states this is private property I don’t say a thing. If she hadn’t sat, I would have asked her to.

Staring over at me, I draw my attention back to the lake water and the small colorful bobber that floats along the surface with a peaceful solitude coming over me. Just like that, she becomes my best friend; my only friend; someone whose face I look forward to seeing each summer and every single day she’s out here. If I go out in the boat, she goes out. If I go for a swim, she comes with me. I can’t take a breath without her by my side. Through pretend voyages to sea, made up shark infested waters that we can’t escape and endless nights roasting marshmallows, we play together, smile together, laugh together and never go anywhere apart. We’re inseparable; every single breath she breathes with me.

Glancing to the side where I hold tight to the dock, I see the bright orange sign that under normal light reads ‘Private Property’. The subtle moonlight and dark night has turned it to a blurred black square, but I can still make it out; I know it’s there. My hand squeezes at the rough barn wood post that houses the entrance of the boat dock and I take a deep breath of courage. She doesn’t turn and may not even be aware of my presence, but she will soon enough.

With shaky footsteps, I make a move to get closer to her. About twenty paces separate us and with each footfall, a massive wad of anxiety expands in my stomach and up into my throat, making me wonder if I’ll even be able to speak when I get there. Her head barely turns and I stop; I freeze. She knows I’m here. But then she turns forward again, the silence screaming at me to say something; anything.

“What do you want, Evan?”

The sudden sound of her voice startles me and I swear every frog and insect within twenty miles of this property suddenly hushed or maybe her icy tone blew my hearing to an oblivion.

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Swinging her head around with her hand placed behind her, she glares at me. I can’t even see the features of her face, but I can feel the fierceness in her stare. It’s slicing through me like a rusty old knife with a colossal amount of force at the blade.

“Well?”

Her arms rise over her chest as they always do and I struggle to find something to say.
Why the hell didn’t I think this through?
Judd said to listen, but I’m no dumbass. I know now is not the time to go silent. My chest rises as I suck in a deep soothing breath then release it, letting all wavering thoughts out with it.

“I thought we could talk,” I throw it out there plain and simple, and prepare to hold on for dear life.

“What!” she blusters, in an outraged tone like this is the first time I’ve said a word to her in the past few years.
This is it. This is when I need to keep my mouth shut and listen even though it’s pure instinct for me to speak up.

“Why do you think I would have anything to say to you?” she spits out.

I have no doubt if I could see her in plain sight, her top lip is probably curled up leaving a crease at each side of her nose like it usually did when she was disgusted at something.

I press my lips together to hold my tongue and wait, but she says nothing.
Shit…I wasn’t prepared for this. Damn it to hell, did Abby give her the same damn advice or something? Freaking figures.

I muster up a few more civil words, refusing to turn this into a battle of
how could you
versus
I didn’t do it on purpose.

“Piper, I just wanted to sit and talk.” I gulp down my fear of this escalating once again. “…calmly.”

Through the darkness, a quick intake of air catches my attention so I take a step forward, confident that maybe the hurricane has done its damage and moved on. She has to know every single interaction we’ve had this past year has torn into me and deepened the never-healing wound in my soul.

“Evan, just go away.” The bitterness in her tone has faded, leaving a defeated hint of exhaustion from any sort of communication between us.

Conflicted, I shift from foot to foot, widen my eyes and bite my lips between my teeth in thought. Above all, I do not want to argue when she says no, or stop, or go away, but leaving will just keep this barrier between us and she is not the only one exhausted. I’m tired of it being this way. She was my best friend; the only one I ever gave my heart to.

“Would you just talk to me?” I say gently, hoping she can hear the urgency and distress in my voice.

“Talk to you? You’re the last person I want to talk to,” she belts out.

I flinch back, hating the animosity that she exhibits like I did that to her. I betrayed her, yeah, but I am not the villain here.

“Stop making me the enemy,” I raise my voice mistakenly.

That’s all it takes to elevate the whole thing. Piper shoots up to stand, stomping across the rickety boards till she is only a few feet in front of me with her hands defiantly at her hips and her chin rose up confidently.

“Me?! Oh, you did that yourself, Evan, or don’t you remember?” she slams me with the exact thing I knew she would.
Dammit!
“Because if you don’t, I sure can remind you.”

I deserve for her to say all of this to me. I deserve for her to hate me and I deserve for her to never speak to me again, but I can’t keep my mouth shut. Frustration on our lack of being able to just talk courses through me and elevates my voice to a pissed off tone.

“Of course I remember, because you won’t ever let me forget! Don’t you believe in forgiveness, because maybe if you would calm down…just once…maybe…just maybe, we could put this behind us.”

“Forgiveness!! Were you even there? Do you know what that did to me? Because I will never forget and I have a hard time forgiving that!”

I stop for a minute and blow out a monstrous wind of anger before this blows up into a bloodbath.
I hate fighting with her. I hate that she hates me. I miss her. God, I miss her.
A whole chunk of my heart falls with that observation as I look at her figure under the dark canopied dock. Her small frame is straight as a board with her arms still at her side as if she’s a super hero. I glance at her from head to toe and back, and my whole body aches for her.

Keeping bitterness that could be misconstrued as hatred out of my tone, I speak up remaining stern and exactly how I’ve always been with her; completely myself.

“Damn it, Piper…I’ve said I was sorry and I know that doesn’t take away what happened, but I didn’t mean…”

“Wait…don’t even go there. Don’t even claim that you didn’t mean to tell him!”

I take another guzzle of air, trying to remain calm, but also wanting to let her talk.

“You hurt me! No…no…you killed me!” she shouts it out and if words could kill, those would have me laying on the boat dock with my blood spilling between the boards into the murky waters below.

“You betrayed me. You were the only one I trusted…the only one. I counted on you…” she stops talking and I can feel her eyes on me. They pin me down and keep me from running away from the guilt. I look down, too ashamed to let her see my face. “I thought you…” she pauses and my head snaps up with what she’s thinking. “You said that you…you know what? It doesn’t matter what you said, because you took it back the second you told your brother. I should have known it was all a joke to you.”

Now this I cannot stand here and listen to.
“What?! You know how I felt about you back then?”

“Felt about me?! Oh please! Go tell that to one of those bimbos that you take home on the weekends, or wait…maybe Skylar is the flavor of the week!”

Whoa, if it didn’t strike me as pure jealousy, I’d walk away from this conversation and say screw putting this behind us.

She goes on with her rant and I stand quietly, listening as I was told to do.
Judd, you owe me!

“Besides, I was far from someone that guys pined over, Evan! What was it that made you want me the most…my flat chest…”

I glance down, unable to make out her body in the darkness but know damn well that it is no longer flat. Not by a mile.

“…or maybe it was my crooked smile covered in colored rubber bands…”

I think back to the times around the camp fire this summer when she would laugh. The image is clear in my head, letting me know that I was watching her much more than I thought; so many times more than I should have.

“Oh, maybe it was the way I flinched anytime anyone laid their hand on my back or brushed against my hips. Was it maybe that, that made me so appealing?” She quiets, probably searching for more ways to put herself down, but I am not going to stand for it.