Brick Shakespeare: The Comedies—A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Tempest, Much Ado About Nothing, and The Taming of the Shrew (92 page)

GREMIO (cont.)

And, as he stoop’d again to take it up,

The mad-brain’d bridegroom took him such a cuff

That down fell priest and book and book and priest:

“Now take them up,” quoth he, “if any list.”

TRANIO

What said the wench when he rose again?

GREMIO

Trembled and shook; for why, he stamp’d and swore,

As if the vicar meant to cozen him.

But after many ceremonies done,

He calls for wine: “A health!” quoth he, as if

He had been aboard, carousing to his mates

After a storm; quaff’d off the muscadel

And threw the sops all in the sexton’s face;

Having no other reason

But that his beard grew thin and hungerly

And seem’d to ask him sops as he was drinking.

This done, he took the bride about the neck

And kiss’d her lips with such a clamorous smack

That at the parting all the church did echo:

And I seeing this came thence for very shame;

And after me, I know, the rout is coming.

Such a mad marriage never was before:

Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play.

PETRUCHIO

Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains:

I know you think to dine with me to-day,

And have prepared great store of wedding cheer;

But so it is, my haste doth call me hence,

And therefore here I mean to take my leave.

BAPTISTA

Is’t possible you will away to-night?

PETRUCHIO

I must away to-day, before night come:

Make it no wonder; if you knew my business,

You would entreat me rather go than stay.

And, honest company, I thank you all,

That have beheld me give away myself

To this most patient, sweet and virtuous wife:

Dine with my father, drink a health to me;

For I must hence; and farewell to you all.

TRANIO

Let us entreat you stay till after dinner.

PETRUCHIO

It may not be.

GREMIO

Let me entreat you.

PETRUCHIO

It cannot be.

KATHARINA

Let me entreat you.

PETRUCHIO

I am content.

KATHARINA

Are you content to stay?

PETRUCHIO

I am content you shall entreat me stay;

But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.

KATHARINA

Now, if you love me, stay.

PETRUCHIO

Grumio, my horse.

GRUMIO

Ay, sir, they be ready: the oats have eaten the horses.

KATHARINA

Nay, then,

Do what thou canst, I will not go to-day;

No, nor to-morrow, not till I please myself.

The door is open, sir; there lies your way;

You may be jogging whiles your boots are green;

For me, I’ll not be gone till I please myself:

’Tis like you’ll prove a jolly surly groom,

That take it on you at the first so roundly.

PETRUCHIO

O Kate, content thee; prithee, be not angry.

KATHARINA

I will be angry: what hast thou to do?

Father, be quiet; he shall stay my leisure.

GREMIO

Ay, marry, sir, now it begins to work.

KATHARINA

Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner:

I see a woman may be made a fool,

If she had not a spirit to resist.