Brick Shakespeare: The Comedies—A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Tempest, Much Ado About Nothing, and The Taming of the Shrew (87 page)

Conformable as other household Kates.

Here comes your father: never make denial;

I must and will have Katharina to my wife.

BAPTISTA

Now, Signior Petruchio, how speed you with my daughter?

PETRUCHIO

How but well, sir? how but well?

It were impossible I should speed amiss.

BAPTISTA

Why, how now, daughter Katharina! in your umps?

KATHARINA

Call you me daughter? now, I promise you

You have show’d a tender fatherly regard,

To wish me wed to one half lunatic;

A mad-cup ruffian and a swearing Jack,

That thinks with oaths to face the matter out.

PETRUCHIO

Father, ’tis thus: yourself and all the world,

That talk’d of her, have talk’d amiss of her:

If she be curst, it is for policy,

For she’s not froward, but modest as the dove;

She is not hot, but temperate as the morn;

For patience she will prove a second Grissel,

And Roman Lucrece for her chastity:

And to conclude, we have ’greed so well together,

That upon Sunday is the wedding-day.

KATHARINA

I’ll see thee hang’d on Sunday first.

GREMIO

Hark, Petruchio; she says she’ll see thee hang’d first.

TRANIO

Is this your speeding? nay, then, good night our part!

PETRUCHIO

Be patient, gentlemen; I choose her for myself:

If she and I be pleased, what’s that to you?

’Tis bargain’d ’twixt us twain, being alone,

That she shall still be curst in company.

I tell you, ’tis incredible to believe

How much she loves me: O, the kindest Kate!

She hung about my neck; and kiss on kiss

She vied so fast, protesting oath on oath,

That in a twink she won me to her love.

O, you are novices! ’tis a world to see,

How tame, when men and women are alone,

A meacock wretch can make the curstest shrew.

Give me thy hand, Kate: I will unto Venice,

To buy apparel ’gainst the wedding-day.

Provide the feast, father, and bid the guests;

I will be sure my Katharina shall be fine.

BAPTISTA

I know not what to say: but give me your hands;

God send you joy, Petruchio! ’tis a match.

GREMIO and TRANIO

Amen, say we: we will be witnesses.

PETRUCHIO

Father, and wife, and gentlemen, adieu;

I will to Venice; Sunday comes apace:

We will have rings and things and fine array;

And kiss me, Kate, we will be married o’Sunday.

GREMIO

Was ever match clapp’d up so suddenly?

BAPTISTA

Faith, gentlemen, now I play a merchant’s part,

And venture madly on a desperate mart.

TRANIO

’Twas a commodity lay fretting by you:

’Twill bring you gain, or perish on the seas.

BAPTISTA

The gain I seek is, quiet in the match.

GREMIO

No doubt but he hath got a quiet catch.

But now, Baptists, to your younger daughter:

Now is the day we long have looked for:

I am your neighbour, and was suitor first.

TRANIO

And I am one that love Bianca more

Than words can witness, or your thoughts can guess.

GREMIO

Youngling, thou canst not love so dear as I.

TRANIO

Graybeard, thy love doth freeze.

GREMIO

But thine doth fry.

Skipper, stand back: ’tis age that nourisheth.

TRANIO

But youth in ladies’ eyes that flourisheth.

BAPTISTA

Content you, gentlemen: I will compound this strife:

’Tis deeds must win the prize; and he of both

That can assure my daughter greatest dower

Shall have my Bianca’s love.

Say, Signior Gremio, what can you assure her?