Bridge of Hope (18 page)

“Evening, party people!” I searched the room, looking for the birthday girl, and spotted her giggling away with her best friend. “Well, we’re all here tonight to celebrate the fact that Mallory is, and I quote, ‘getting old’.” Everyone laughed and turned to face her. She went bright red and I couldn’t help laughing. I’d pay for that later, no doubt. “I reckon the first number tonight requires a bit of audience participation. Which, as you may know, is not something I usually encourage. You all know the words and this time you
can
sing along!” A cheer erupted around the room as I began to play the opening bars of “Happy Birthday.”

Mallory’s grin told me she was having a whale of a time, and that made me all warm and fuzzy inside—or it could’ve been the whiskey, or maybe both. Anyway, when the raucous rendition of the birthday classic had ended, she turned to me and mouthed the words
thank you
and I responded with a smile and
you’re welcome
. The urge to hug her came over me again but I fought it down.

“Right, that’s enough of you lot singing! It’s my turn now, and you know what I always say?”

“DON’T BLOODY SING ALONG!” Everyone shouted together, and Mallory threw her head back with laughter.

I laughed along too. Mallory laughing was the best sight I’d witnessed in a very long time. “Aye, that’s right, and don’t you forget it.”

I serenaded the crowd with songs from the likes of Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Oasis, Fleetwood Mac, and Pearl Jam to name but a few. Dougie Maclean’s “Caledonia” had a few folks weeping—not surprising, seeing as it had that effect on me sometimes too.

Taking a break, I went over to grab the birthday girl. “Can I buy you a drink?” I shouted over the noise of the crowd and the jukebox that Stella had switched on.

“I’ll have my usual, please.” She smiled knowingly. But I wasn’t going to rib her about her drink choice. Not tonight. When I brought her drink back, “Hi Ho Silver Lining” began to play and Mallory screamed.

“Ooooh I love this song! We’ve got to dance!”

I threw my head back and guffawed at her enthusiasm. “Aye, okay, birthday girl.” Well, I couldn’t
not
dance with her on her birthday now, could I? I slipped my arm around her waist and we took the pose of a ballroom dancing couple, except she was singing so loud I could hardly dance for laughing. I spun her around and the whole pub joined us with the chorus. Her blue eyes sparkled. There was life in them again. And the fact that I’d helped to put it there made my eyes sting with unshed tears.

As the song was ending she hugged me fiercely and said, “Thank you, Greg,” right into my ear.

A shiver travelled down my back and I gazed into her eyes. For a brief moment she gazed back at me, a ghost of a smile on her full lips. But the spell was quickly broken when Josie grabbed her.

“Give her back, Greggy-weggy! Go sing some more!”

I took my place at the mic once more and grabbed Rhiannon. Starting up again, I watched as Mallory was hugged by more people. The folks in the village adored her. And why wouldn’t they?

Despite my requests for no bloody singing, every fucker was at it. I laughed despite myself. There was nothing more hilarious than a room full of drunkards trying to sing Neil Diamond’s “I am, I said”.
I dedicated a very apt song to Mallory that really grabbed her attention. Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” seemed to say things to her that I wanted to say myself. But they did it so much better than I ever could. I did my best to put every ounce of sincerity I was feeling into what I was singing, and her responding smile told me I’d done my job.

She was presented with a delicious-looking birthday cake thanks to Colin and Chrissy, and she blew out the single candle with a childish grin on her face. The night was drawing to a close and so I decided to try and calm things down a little. No mean feat, I can tell you.

“Well, I’m hoping the birthday girl has had as wonderful a night as the rest of us, eh? It’s been great to have you all here. But I have to say, when it comes to singing, don’t go giving up your day jobs. Leave it to the professionals. Know what I’m saying?” The fuckers booed me! They booed and heckled! I shrugged, knowing I was damn right.

“I’ll finish tonight with another of Mally’s favourites, and I have to say that it’s grown on me this week whilst I’ve been practising it. It’s by a bloke with an interesting name, if nothing else. He’s a mighty talented guitarist, not unlike myself.” Groans greeted me this time. “Okay, okay. He’s a young guy called Newton Faulkner, and this is a beautiful song for a beautiful… ah… friend, and it goes like this.”
Shit, I nearly slipped up there.
I tapped on my guitar and strummed the intro to “Dream Catch Me”.
It wasn’t a song I’d been that familiar with until Josie had mentioned it to me, but I have to say that the more I listened to the lyrics, the more they resonated within me. There was one particular line that rang oh so true; and if you know the song, I bet you can guess. You know, the one where the singer can’t quite believe what’s happening? Aye… that one.

My eyes found Mallory’s just as I sang that one line and they locked on. I couldn’t look away. She stared back at me and swallowed before her lips parted as she kept her gaze fixed on me.
Fuck. What am I doing?
Once again the spell was broken when her best friend slipped her arms around her shoulders and whispered something into her ear. Whatever it was, Mallory didn’t like it, and her gaze dropped to the floor. G
reat
.

The pub gradually began to empty and people said their goodbyes. I made my way over to where Mallory was hugging Ron and thanking him for coming. As he walked past me, he patted my arm and winked. He obviously was proud of me for the successful night, and it felt grand.

Mallory lingered. Looking her up and down, I shook my head. “Och, shit, Mallory, you’re looking old now, you know.” She hit my arm and I pretended to fall. “Have you had a good time?”

“The best. Thanks so much for doing this for me, Greg. It was so sweet of you.” She blushed, which was really cute. But then again, everything she bloody did was cute.

“No bother. That’s what friends do. And like I said, it’s my fortieth in a wee while,” I reminded her, wiggling my eyebrows. It was a couple of years away, but no harm in getting in early, eh?

“Well, I’m guessing you won’t let me forget that.”

“Am I allowed to hug you?” I asked her with open arms. “I think I made a total balls-up of the last time I hugged you. You know? The incident I now like to call ‘Chalkboard-gate’. I cringe whenever I think about it. What a complete spanner.” I felt like a total prick actually, but I was trying to curb my language. She stepped into my embrace and I squeezed her to me for a moment. Not wanting to hold on too long for obvious reasons—i.e. my growing bloody feelings—I let her go.

“Thanks again, Greg. You are a really good friend,” she said, staring right into my eyes.
Okay, message received loud and clear
.

My heart sank a little but I forced a smile. “Aye, you’re not so bad yourself, matey.” She reached up and kissed my cheek, pausing a little, and I could have sworn she smelled me. I mean, she inhaled as her nose was by my face, but I got the distinct impression it was deliberate.

A tiny seed of hope began to grow inside of me.

Chapter Twenty-Four

When I arrived home after the party, I was buzzing. There was no way I was going to sleep straightaway. The whole thing had been a massive success, and I couldn’t have been happier. Mallory had laughed, danced, and sung. She’d practically glowed all night. As I sat there replaying the evening over in my mind, I couldn’t help the smile that crept over my face. Lying back on the couch with Angus at my feet, I closed my eyes and was taken back to the party.

I caught sight of the sequins on her skirt and shoes sparkling in the dim, atmospheric lighting of the pub. The fabric billowed out as she spun around and I was mesmerised. The T-shirt she wore hugged her breasts beautifully, and I wondered if they were as gorgeous in the flesh as they looked under the taut turquoise fabric.

I’m pretty sure I was caught watching her on more than one occasion by Josie, Brad, and Sam’s mother, Renee. I wondered if she thought me a lecherous old prick. Not that someone as classy as
she
was would’ve used such language, but the sentiment would have been the same. My thoughts about Mallory weren’t lecherous though. I’m not saying they were
pure
—I’m not gonna lie. But there was just… something about her. Like I’ve said before; she was one of a kind.

I took myself off to bed and as I was brushing my teeth I took a long hard look in the mirror. Who was I fucking kidding? I was almost eight years her senior and she didn’t
see
me in
that
way. She’d made that blaringly obvious with her such-a-good-friend comment. And to top it off, what the
fuck
was I doing getting attached to someone when
I
was still grieving? It was pointless. Rebounds never worked out.

But as I eventually climbed into bed and waited for sleep, deep down I knew that this was no rebound.

When I opened my eyes, Mallory was standing at the end of my bed in her turquoise T-shirt and skirt from the party. This time I knew it was a dream but I didn’t fight it. I lay there, just gazing up at her as she slowly removed her skirt, kicking it to one side of the room. Her cropped denim jacket followed. Her eyes never left mine and she didn’t speak. Her hands reached for the hem of her T-shirt and she was slowly lifting it up… up… up. I sat up as the anticipation grew, but the sudden movement made me dizzy and when I looked down I had hold of Mairi’s hand. We were on a freezing-cold mountainside. I wasn’t sure how I’d got there and for a moment I was disorientated and confused. But then I remembered I’d been dreaming and fought myself to wake up. I observed my surroundings with a pounding in my chest and I could hear the blood rushing in my ears. Why wasn’t I waking up? I glanced down again and realised my grip was slipping and Mairi’s terror-filled stare chilled me to the bone. Her hand slid from mine and she fell—

I sat with a violent jerk and opened my eyes wide. My chest heaved and once again I was covered in sweat and gasping for breath.
What the fuck?
I wanted… no, I
needed
the nightmares to stop. I was losing my grip on my fucking sanity and I had no idea how to stop it from happening. This one was worse than the others. The sense of panic had my heart beating so fast, I clutched my chest and considered calling the paramedics in case I was on the verge of a heart attack.

This was because of my feelings for Mallory. It had to stop. I had to apologise for staring at her when I sang that bloody song.
God, what she must be thinking? She’s grieving and I threw myself at the poor woman vicariously through someone else’s words. What was I thinking?

With my resolve set firm, I climbed out of bed and turned the shower on. I decided I would wash, dress, have a coffee, and set out for some much-needed fresh air. I had to clear my head of the cobwebs that had taken up residence, clouding my mind and making me forget what I’d lost. Well, that fucking nightmare had reminded me. I wouldn’t forget it again in a hurry.

Once I was suitably caffeinated I grabbed my coat and went to the door, Angus at my heels. The sky was dark and I was betting I’d get soaked during our walk, but Angus didn’t care about the rain. Closing the front door but not bothering to lock it—I rarely did—I pulled the refreshing chilled air into my lungs and we set off toward the village.

As we got to the village something caught Angus’s attention and he went shooting off toward the bridge.

I began to jog after him. “Angus, you bloody mad hound! Come back here,” I shouted. But then I realised what had been the distraction that made him run. Mallory and Ruby were standing in the middle of the bridge. She turned and looked at me. A
www, fuck
. I really didn’t want to face her, but if I didn’t want to appear the fucking tube I really was, I had no choice. Shaking my head at myself, I waved and began to jog once again and made my way over to join her.

When I arrived on the bridge I forced a smile. “I obviously didn’t do my job right last night, eh?” She raised her eyebrows and asked what I meant. “Well, you don’t look in the least bit bloody hung over. What were you drinking at your birthday bash? Earl Grey?”

We joked about the fact that Mallory had been so caught up in the events of the night that drinking hadn’t really been her top priority. The glow on her face had been pure happiness. Despite the nightmare, my heart warmed at the memory.

Feeling more relaxed in her presence than I’d expected, I invited her and Ruby to join Angus and I on our walk. She hesitated and I thought she’d turn me down. But surprisingly enough, she accepted. We set off together toward the beach. The four of us.

Once we were on the sand, the two doggy friends went off together, frolicking and barking. Watching them made me smile. If only being human were so simple.