Bridge of Hope (22 page)

“Oh, yeah. Hang on.” I grabbed a T-shirt from the drawer and handed it to her. She went back to the guest room to change just as someone knocked on the front door.

“I’ll get it while you get dressed,” Trina shouted as she headed down the stairs. I heard her open the door and say, “Hello, can I help you?”

I faintly heard Mallory’s voice and hopped around the room, pulling on my jeans in a panic. Without bothering to grab a T-shirt, I made my way downstairs as quickly as I could. Hoping to prove to Mallory that I was cool with being her friend, I slipped my arms around Trina’s waist and greeted my friend at the door.

“Oh, hi, Mally, have you brought Rubes for me?”

I watched her expression change as she glanced at my arms where they sat around Trina. She scowled at me. “Erm, yes but if it’s not convenient anymore, Ron said—”

Oh, fuck. Maybe this was a bit much.
“No, no, don’t be daft! We’re happy to have her, aren’t we, Trina?” Trina nodded and beamed at me. I plastered a big fake smile on my face. “We’ll take good care of her, don’t you worry. She’ll have great fun with Angus, won’t you, girl?” I glanced down at Ruby, and she was wagging her tail—but I felt a little sick. Mallory let go of Ruby’s lead and began to walk away. I thought I saw tears in her eyes.

“I’m just going to go say goodbye, Trina, will you take Ruby’s lead off?”

“Sure.” She picked up Ruby and cuddled the little ball of fluff.

I jogged out after Mallory. ““Hey, Mally, are you okay? She
will
be fine you know,” I told her as she stopped at her car.

She didn’t turn around but I heard her sniff. “I know that. I’m just going to miss her.”

“Look, I wanted to apologise.” I walked closer and she turned around slightly. Placing my finger lightly under her chin, I tilted her face to make her look at me. Her blue eyes seared into me and I caught my breath. “I was an arse, yet again, last week. I don’t know what was wrong. But…” I swallowed hard as if doing so would give me the time I needed to muster up more lies. “I had a few days away and met Trina, she’s nice, eh?” I tried hard to keep an enthusiastic smile on my face, but I was dying a little inside with every word.

“Oh, yes, she seems delightful.” I sensed a little sarcasm in her voice and didn’t quite understand why. I was doing her a favour by showing I’d moved on.

“Aye, I had a lot of thinking to do, but it’s done and I’m over it now.” I held my arms out for some reason that I don’t really understand myself. Her eyes trailed to the tattooed phrase on my chest and I shivered. Well, I was shirtless and shoeless after all.

“Good for you.” She smiled but her eyes didn’t light up.

“Aye, well, there’s no point wanting what you can’t have, eh?” I too tried to smile but sadness washed over me as I uttered the words that declared a stark reality.

“No, no point at all,” she agreed. “I’ll be off, then. I’m staying at a hotel near the airport with the Buchanans tonight and then we fly out early morning.”

I nodded, sensing sadness in her too. “Well, have a brilliant time, eh? And don’t worry about this place. We’ll all still be here when you get back.”

Another forced smile graced her features. “Great… see you in three weeks, then.” She bent to climb into her little car and I suddenly panicked.

I desperately wanted to hold her. “Don’t you have a hug for your bestie, eh?”

She hesitated but then stepped into my open arms. Feeling her softness press against me brought back the longing I still harboured deep within, and so I thumped her back like I would a male friend’s.
Fucking idiot
. She pulled away and climbed into her car. When she gazed up at me for a few moments, as she turned the key in the ignition, I saw something in her eyes that said she felt something more for me than she was prepared to admit. I swallowed hard and a frown pulled at my brow. Raising my hand to wave, I was overcome with anguish and fear as she drove away and out of my life for at least three weeks.

What if she didn’t come back?

Chapter Twenty-Nine

I walked back into the house and Trina was nowhere to be seen. Ruby and Angus were chasing each other around the back garden, having a whale of a time. The door was ajar and so I poked my head out to see if Trina was outside enjoying the sunshine, but there was no sign of her. I made my way upstairs to see if she was ready for something to eat, but she wasn’t in the guest room either. Feeling a little befuddled, I decided to go to my room and grab a T-shirt.

I opened the door and got the shock of my fucking life.

Trina was lying on my bed, completely stark fucking naked! My eyes widened so much that I felt sure they were going to fall out of the sockets. My cakehole opened and closed as my gaze trailed down her body, and the involuntary reaction happened in my boxers… but words wouldn’t form.

Eventually my brain reconnected with my mouth and there was a second surge of blood, this time northwards—my cheeks could’ve spontaneously combusted at any minute—but it meant my tongue worked again.

I swallowed hard. “Trina… what the fuck?”
Oh, very subtle, as always, McBradden
.

She leaned up on her elbows with her knees together and her ankles apart. Her head tilted to one side as she smiled at me sexily. “I was tired of waiting for you to make the move, so I thought I’d give you a little push.”

My feet were frozen to the spot and I glanced over the tattoo that reached from the curve at the top of one breast, down between both toward her navel and wrapped around the indentation. It was a vine of Japanese flowers and was extremely well done. Why the hell I was thinking about the quality of the tattoo when there was a starkers wee woman on my bed, God only knows. My eyes trailed down the winding foliage and rested just above her neatly trimmed… erm… lady parts. My head—the one on my shoulders, that is—was suddenly a little fuzzy and I was willing my other eager body part to calm the fuck down. I had no intention of letting him out to play. Had I?
Shit.
The fact that I was actually considering my options scared the crap out of me.

She smiled up at me, and when I didn’t return the smile, she began to chew on the inside of her cheek. Instead of the sexiness she was trying to project mere moments ago, she now oozed vulnerability. My heart squeezed in my chest and I took a step toward her, suddenly feeling the urge to protect her; save her from herself even. She shouldn’t be throwing herself at men… least of all me. I was an ass of prize proportions and didn’t deserve for her to offer her body to me so readily. It was flattering to have such a pretty young woman willing to give herself to me, and in some small way I wished I wasn’t about to let her down. I rubbed my palms over my face. Now that I’d made the decision, my hormones began to calm.

Running my hands through my hair and breathing out heavily, I told her, “Trina, I’m sorry but… Look, I’m just not in the market for a fling right now.”

She clambered to the end of the bed and kneeled before me. Grasping my waistband, she pulled me forward and unfastened the button, slipping her hand inside. The sharp intake of breath that echoed around the room sounded like it came from someone else. It was like some weird kind of out-of-body experience. I gulped and peered down into her blue eyes.

She bit her lip and leaned up to kiss my bare chest. “Who said anything about a
fling
?”

Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?
“Trina, sweetheart, I’ve literally
just
met you. What else
would
it be?”

She pulled away from my chest and frowned up at me. “But… we have a connection, Greg. We really do.”

On some level she was right. There must have been some kind of connection for me to bring her to my home. What the hell was I expecting? She and I had a lot in common—superficially at least. Music, tattoos, a sense of wanting what we couldn’t have. But nonetheless I was beginning to worry about her feelings for me. This was all a bit much and it was a little disconcerting to have a woman I’d only known a few days insinuating that we were…
something
. The thought crossed my mind that perhaps… if I allowed it… we
could
be something. Being with her might be easy. She was nice to look at and clearly had a fantastic body. I would really be moving on… wouldn’t I?

Mallory’s face appeared in my mind’s eye and all thoughts of moving on dissipated into the thick atmosphere in the room. Snapping myself back to reality, I realised I’d been staring at her. Sensibility took over and I stepped back, freeing myself from her grip and shaking my head. “Erm, Trina. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but… well… if you and I
were
to sleep together, it would just be sex to me. And I think you seem like a really sweet woman. But… well the truth is, you and I won’t ever be anything more than friends. I’m… I’m sorry.”

It was her turn to have the wide eyes. But they weren’t just wide, they were brimming with tears. She slumped back onto her bottom, and her lip began trembling. I was a prize bastard.

“Oh,” she whispered. “But I thought we connected. We get on so well. You let me come to stay with you.” She lifted her chin, and hopeful glistening blue eyes gazed up at me as her words echoed the exact thoughts I’d had seconds before.

I sat on the bed and pulled the throw from the end, wrapping it around her to try and rescue her dignity. “Aye, I did, and I see now that it wasn’t the best thing to do. We
do
get on. But I have to be honest with you. I’m kind of getting over losing someone, and I can’t imagine ever feeling for someone else what I felt for
her
.”
Okay, so that’s a lie
.

“But how do you know if you don’t try?” she whined like a kid who’d just been told there was no dessert for after dinner. Raising her hands, she rubbed at her eyes and smudged the mascara around them until she resembled a very sad panda.

“I just
know
, Trina. I’m sorry. I
really
am. I would love not to feel this way.”
And ain’t that the truth!

She turned away and wiped her running nose on my bed throw.
Nice
. And then, grabbing her scattered clothing, she pulled the throw around herself and left the room. The bathroom door slammed a few seconds later. I grabbed a T-shirt and pulled it over my head. Flopping down onto the edge of the bed, I leaned forward, dropped my head into my hands, and closed my eyes. I was pretty sure I’d have reacted very differently if it’d been Mallory offering her body to me so readily.

Awww, fuck, Mallory.

I hadn’t thought about the hole in my heart that she’d left when she’d driven away earlier, on account of the naked drama that had unfolded when I came back into the house. I knew she couldn’t be that far away by now and part of me hoped that she’d turn around, come back, and tell me she didn’t want to go all the way to Canada after all.

No such luck.

The black-and-blue-haired virtual stranger came out of my bathroom fully dressed; the mascara from around her eyes all cleaned up.

She smiled awkwardly at me. “Well. I feel like a complete and utter fool. So I think I’m going to go back home. Could you call me a cab to take me to the train station, please?”

I stood and stuck my hands in my pockets. “I can take you back home if you like.”

She shook her head and dropped her gaze. “I’d rather not be around you any more than I have to, Greg. No offence. I’ll go grab my bag.”

I cringed. “I can understand that.” She stepped aside so I could pass her on the landing, and as I glanced back, I saw her disappear into the guest room.

Once I’d called Billy at the local taxi company, I made coffee just for something to do. I didn’t even want it. A few minutes later Trina arrived back in the kitchen, looking rather sheepish.

I placed my steaming mug down and stepped toward her. “Hey, are you okay?”

She rolled her eyes. “What do
you
think?”

“Okay, daft question. Look, I really didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. And I’m sure you really are a lovely girl—”

She held her hands up. “Please stop before you say something really fucking glib like ‘It’s not you… blah, fucking blah’. I’m a big girl, Greg. I’ll be perfectly fine, alright?”

I pulled both my lips in and nodded, unsure what I could say to make amends for embarrassing her. Instead of saying anything that would end up making her feel worse, I simply said, “Taxi’s on its way.”

“Great. Thanks.” Just as she ended her sentence, Billy pulled his white saloon car up in front of my house and honked his horn. “Bye, Greg,” she said with a sad smile. “Have a nice life, eh?”

I nodded again. “Aye. You too, Trina. Be happy.”

And with that she rolled her eyes again and walked out of the door. I waited at the window in case she waved, but of course she didn’t. She thought I was an arsehole of the most humongous proportions. And I felt the same about me too. I couldn’t seem to do the right thing by anyone. Women in particular. Look how I’d treated Mallory from the start. There was no hope really. None. I was doomed to remain alone with no one to annoy but myself.