Bridge of Hope (21 page)

When I returned my focus to the girl again, she’d gone and panic rose within me. Who was it and why was she screaming? I’d let her down. She was gone and it was my fault for losing concentration. My eyes darted around me as my heart pounded at the inside of my ribcage. I could hear her calling my name again, over and over, but I couldn’t see her. My breathing had become erratic and I suddenly couldn’t move my feet at all. I flailed my arms madly, trying to make myself move, but I was cemented to the spot in the freezing white landscape.

“Greg… Greg… wake up.” Someone was shaking me lightly as I opened my eyes.

I glanced around trying to get my bearings. “Oh… h-hi. I’m… sorry… I…”

“It’s okay. That was some nightmare. Are you okay?” she asked, pushing my hair out of my eyes. She had switched on a lamp and was sitting beside me on the sofa, concern etched on her face.

I pulled myself up to a sitting position. “Yeah. I’m fine. Did I wake you?”

She shrugged and smiled. “Yes, but it’s fine.” She cupped my cheek and ran her thumb over my bottom lip.

I stared into her blue eyes and was suddenly transported somewhere else entirely. Without thinking, I slipped my hand into the black and blue strands of her silky hair and pulled her toward me with urgency, crushing my mouth into hers. She gasped as my tongue slid past her lips and then moaned as she smoothed her hands up my bare chest. Her hands travelled up again and fisted in my hair as the kiss gained fervour. My heart pounded and our heavy breaths sounded loud in the silence of the room. Our tongues tangled and I hardened in my boxers. With her mouth still on mine, she moved so that she straddled my waist and ground her pelvis into me. God, I needed this. I needed to feel. To be connected to someone physically again. To let passion and adrenaline course through my veins and to just lose myself in a woman once more. But the heated exchange felt wrong and the only person in my mind was… Mallory.

I pulled away. My chest was heaving and I ran my hands through my hair just so that I had an excuse to take them from her body. “Shit… sorry, T-Trina. I… I can’t do this.” I closed my eyes as guilt and self-loathing took over. Opening them again, I was met by the understanding gaze of the stranger I’d tried to pretend was Mallory only moments before. But she didn’t come close to Mallory in any way, and I hated myself for almost losing myself in her.

She stroked her fingers down my face. “Hey, it’s okay. We can get to know each other first. I’m not really that kind of girl anyway. But… I find you
very
attractive and I really like you… so I would’ve slept with you. Just so you know.”

I opened my eyes again and caught her smiling at me, her plumps lips swollen and red. She was very pretty. But she wasn’t Mallory… or Mairi for that matter. Climbing off me, she pulled down the hem of her tank top and adjusted her sleep shorts where they had gotten twisted in our body collision.

“Do you fancy a coffee and a bacon sandwich maybe?” she asked as she walked toward the kitchen area.

“Just coffee, thanks. It’s getting light out and I should go and get my tent set up.”

“Okay. But… well, you’d be welcome to stay here if you’d like?”

“Na’, it’s okay. I like camping. And besides, you need your personal space, so…”

She nodded sadly and went to turn on the kettle. “You can use the shower if you’d like.”

“I’ll grab one after I’ve put the tent up. I’ll use the shower block though. I don’t want to put you out any more than I have.”

“Well, you haven’t, so don’t worry.”

I went into the bathroom to get dressed, but first I stood before the mirror to examine my reflection. Who the hell was I kidding? There was no way someone like Mallory would be in the slightest bit interested in someone like me. Trina, on the other hand… She was different. And she was available. She was definitely attracted to me, the incident earlier had proved that. And for a split second I really wanted her. Maybe moving on with Trina was the right thing to do. Maybe I should’ve just given in to my baser desires and done the deed. Moving away from whatever the hell I was feeling for the Yorkshire lass was what was needed. And Trina was sexy in a blue-haired, quirky kind of way. Okay, so she didn’t have Mallory’s curves and her smile didn’t make my insides flip-flop, but her personality was… was…
nice
. But Mallory had the ability to turn me to mush with just a look or a baggy sweater.

Fuck! I was doing myself no good at all. I dressed quickly and went back out to the living area, where Trina handed me a coffee. We drank in silence and once we were done, I went out to the Landy, climbed in, and drove around to my pitch. She wasn’t wrong when she said it was a large plot. It was screened on three sides by trees, and there was a little picnic bench to one end. My tent was usually a doddle to set up, but the rocky ground meant a bit of elbow grease and heavy hammering was necessary. I realised it was a good thing I hadn’t attempted this the night before. When it was all set up I sat back on the grass to admire my handiwork whilst Angus rolled on his back with his legs in the air for me to scratch his belly.

Trina arrived and dropped beside me on the grass. “So, are you up for a walk into town? There’s a heritage centre if you’re interested in that kind of stuff.”

I was beginning to wish she’d leave me alone, but it was clear she was trying to be nice and so I smiled up at her. “Yeah, sounds good. I just need to shower. Can you watch Angus for me?”

“Absolutely.”

I grabbed my toilet bag and walked over to the small shower block. As I scrubbed my sweaty skin, I thought things through. I came to the conclusion that maybe having a female companion would be quite nice. Maybe I’d be able to clear Mallory out of my head easier this way.

Twenty minutes later Trina and I were meandering around the Mallaig Heritage Centre and I was learning about the fishing industry and the famous railway. The whole time we were in there Trina followed close behind me and I could feel her eyes on me. Every so often I glanced over and smiled at her and her eyes lit up. Call me conceited, but I could tell she was smitten.

Later on we sat outside a nice little pub, getting to know each other better as she’d recommended previously. She was an only child and her parents had handed over the running of the campsite to her so that they could take retirement. I told her about my divorce but didn’t go into detail. She didn’t need to know. Trina was quite a touchy-feely girl and she made her attraction clear in the way she kept sliding her fingers down my arm. I wanted to feel something. I really did. And I was determined to keep trying.

All in all it was a really nice day. I loved the Scottish countryside anyway but it was nice to see an area I hadn’t experienced before. After spending the day together, we picked up a bottle of wine and sat outside my tent on a blanket to share it. It should’ve been very romantic. As the sun went down, the temperature dropped and Trina snuggled up to me. Out of courtesy I slipped my arm around her shoulder to warm her up. Glancing up at me, she leaned in and kissed my lips gently. I didn’t reciprocate and felt guilty.

She pulled away. “You’re not attracted to me, are you?”

I frowned at her words. “What? I… you’re a very attractive girl. I just… I don’t know… Maybe I need more time. This past year has been difficult and I’m not sure what I want right now.”
Liar. You want Mallory.

“I see. Well, I can give you time.” She snuggled back into my side. “I know it’s very soon, but I really like you, Greg. I’d like to see where this goes. If anywhere. No pressure.”

Now, when someone you have known for only forty-eight hours… maybe less… tells you she really likes you, wants to sleep with you within the first few hours, and is prepared to ‘see where this goes’, you can guarantee that pressure
is
involved. Alarm bells were already ringing, but for some reason I ignored them.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Thursday Trina had ended up working, and so Angus and I had the time to explore the area without her. We sat on a beach for a few hours just looking out to sea and sharing a haggis baguette. I’m pretty sure Angus thought it was his birthday.

My time in Mallaig was coming to a close.

When Friday morning came around I fluttered my eyes open to adjust to the light coming in through the fabric of the tent canopy. Yawning wide, I tried to stretch my arms over my head, but one was weighed down. With the not-quite-irrational fear of finding a severed horse head beside me, I turned my head in slow motion and my eyes widened at what I saw.

Snuggled into my side was Trina.

Although she was wrapped in a fleece blanket and lying outside my sleeping bag, I had my arm around her and was a little puzzled as to how she got in without Angus barking—or more to the point, without waking me.

Her eyes opened and she reached up and kissed me. For some reason, things sprang to life below my waistline—or my morning erection was happy to feel her squashed up against me. Either way I was aroused, and the urge to take her was burgeoning as she peered into my eyes with longing.

Biting her lip, she slipped her hand down my chest, into my sleeping bag and gripped me firmly. I inhaled through my nose as she covered my mouth with hers and pushed her tongue between my lips. She moaned as her hand moved, clearly delighted to find my body willing, and I couldn’t help the groan of pleasure that erupted from my throat as the sensation radiated throughout my extremities.

Suddenly Angus leapt to his feet and began barking. The ear-splitting noise in the close confines of the tent had Trina and I wincing. Trina stopped her ministrations and I raised my head to find my daft dog staring at me as he made his presence known.

“Oh… I think he might need to pee,” I told her.

She giggled and covered her eyes. “Great timing, Angus.”

I scrambled from my sleeping bag and relief washed over me. Being with Trina wasn’t something I really wanted, if I was honest, and maybe Angus somehow knew this. Anyway, it was a bit creepy doing that stuff with him in the tent. I let him out and he immediately dashed off to relieve his doggy bladder.

Trina crawled out of the small tent and winked at me. She skipped off in the direction of her caravan and returned quite quickly with two steaming mugs of coffee. It tasted really good and for a split second I wondered if maybe she
would
be worth getting to know. Realising I was on the verge of making a relationship decision based on
coffee
, I cursed at myself and began to take down the tent with her help.

While we were loading up the Landy, she peered over at me, biting her lip again. It was starting to irritate me. “Look… I was wondering… and I know it’s a bit cheeky, but… I wondered if I could come back to Clachan with you? I’ve never seen the bridge and would love to. I’d just stay for the weekend and then I could get the train home. What do you think?”

What the fuck?
“Oh… erm…” I cringed.

She blushed and dropped her gaze. “Sorry, that was really rude of me. Forget it.”

I went silent for a while as I thought her request through.
It would be a great way to show Mallory that I’m serious about being friends. She could see that I’m moving on. Even if technically I’m not.

Taking a deep breath and wondering if I was about to make a colossal mistake, I leaned and tilted her chin up so her eyes would meet mine. “I’d like it if you came back with me for a few days. But… you have to understand that I’m
not
promising you a relationship. As long as we’re clear on that. Like I said, my head is a bit fucked at the minute.”

Her face lit up and she flung her arms around me. “Yay! That’s fantastic,” she gushed as though my head’s being fucked were something to celebrate. “I’ll go and grab some clothes. I won’t get in your way, I promise.”

“Hurry though, eh? I’ve got to be home by five and I need to call at the supermarket to pick up some groceries on the way. My friend is dropping her dog off for me to look after while she goes away.”

“No problem,” she called as she jogged back toward her caravan.

“Oh fuck, Angus. Did I just do something stupid?”

He grumbled, wagged his tail, and lay down beside me.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then.”

~~~

A couple of hours later we arrived at my house. Trina helped me carry the tent in, and Angus insisted on getting under our feet.

“Make yourself at home, Trina, I’m going to go jump in the shower.”

“No worries at all. Maybe I’ll explore.”

I showed her the guest room and noticed the disappointment on her face as I left her to settle in. It felt weird having a woman in the house again. And
not
in a good way. I couldn’t quite believe I’d allowed a complete stranger into my home.
To stay.
And if you’re sitting there thinking I’m stupid, I reckon you’re right.

Once out of the shower I checked the time. S
hit! Five to five
. Mallory would arrive any second. As I stood there with a towel around my waist and drying my hair on another, Trina appeared at the door. “Greg, can I borrow an old T-shirt to lounge around in, please? I thought I could cook for you, but I don’t want to splash tomato sauce down my clothes. I haven’t brought much.” She trailed her eyes down my body, making me feel a little uncomfortable.