Broken (27 page)

Our time together discovering the
island had flown by so quickly, and before I knew it, Garrett was
back to work and there was already talk of him leaving again. I was
going to miss him like crazy, but I knew this was his job, and I
had to accept it. While he was at work all day, I began adventuring
out on my own trying to get familiar with my new surroundings and
took my camera everywhere with me.

I began shooting pictures
of the local children and one night over dinner Garrett suggested I
try to start up my own photography business. He told me there would
be no overhead costs since there was no need for a studio because
we lived in paradise. At first, I laughed off the suggestion
telling him he was crazy, but later that night while I was lying in
bed, I began to think about it and the idea brought a smile to my
fa
ce.

The last eight months went by like a
blur. It was hard to believe we were living in Oahu. Garrett has
been gone two weeks, and I’ve had many sleepless nights since he’s
been away. I never sleep well when he’s not lying beside me. I was
constantly worried that something was going to happen to him, even
though he was only gone for training. I was selfish and wanted him
home with me, safe. As I lay in our bed listening to the ocean
waves crash in the distance, I could feel the dampness in the air
from the ocean, and sometimes I swear I could taste salt in the
air. My mind had been racing about so many things. When was he
going to come home? How my new photography business was going to
do? How long were we actually going to stay on this beautiful
island?

There were days I actually had to
pinch myself. I felt like I was living in a dream. So many things
had happened in the past year, it made my head spin. All this
thinking was making me tired, I could feel my eyelids get heavy,
and I let sleep take me over.

I woke to feeling the bed move.
“Garrett?” I said sleepily.

“
Hey Babe, I didn’t mean
to wake you. We got back early, I couldn’t stay away. Go back to
sleep,” he whispered in my ear as he molded his body into mine. He
nuzzled his head next to mine and wrapped his arms around me. I
loved the way he held me. I felt so safe.

I moved away from his body, so I could
roll over slightly to see his face. “I missed you,” I said, kissing
his lips softly.

“
I missed you too.” He
took his hand and slowly moved it down my body until he reached my
swollen belly. “How are my girls?” He said with a huge smile on his
face.

I had just entered into my sixth month
of pregnancy. The news of me being pregnant came as quite a shock.
We had agreed for me to stop taking the pill and try to get
pregnant, but neither of us dreamed it would happen within a few
months. This time I was ready. I had my life in order and Garrett
and I were ready for the next chapter in our lives.

When I had first realized I was late
for my period I became nervous to tell him. I knew he wanted a baby
right away, but I honestly didn’t think it was only going to take a
couple of months for me to get pregnant.

This was the third day in a
row I had woken up feeling sick to my stomach. At first, I thought
it was because I had eaten so much fruit the night before. One of
the luxuries of living in Hawaii was the produce. It was amazing.
Once a week we went to a small farmer’s market in town, and I would
spend a small fortune on fresh fruits and veggies. I had become a
very good cook and Garrett was very impressed with my
skills.

On the third morning of me
waking up feeling like I was going to vomit, I tried to remember.
When was the last time I had gotten my period? Garrett was already
gone when I got up. He started going to the gym every morning
before work. We had only been here a few months, and since we
decided that I was going to stop the Pill, Garrett had grown even
more of a sexual appetite than he already had. He told me he wanted
me barefoot and pregnant. I just laughed and rolled my eyes at
him.

When I had gone to my
doctor and talked to him about stopping the Pill, he said that
since I had been on it for almost five years, there was a good
chance it could take up to a year to get pregnant. My heart sank a
little over his words because I knew how badly Garrett wanted a
baby. That very night after my doctor’s appointment Garrett was all
over me, he wanted to make a baby, and we nearly had sex on our
kitchen table. I had to convince him that it was unsanitary to fuck
where we ate. I also didn’t have the heart to tell him it could
take up to a year. I figured why not just having fun trying and it
would happen, when it happened.

I slipped on a sundress
and decided to bike into town to buy a pregnancy test. I figured it
was probably going to be a waste of money since the doctor said a
year, but I was definitely late. My bike ride was relaxing, and I
loved feeling the ocean breeze on my face. I parked my bike outside
the small grocery store and practically ran in.

I located the feminine
product’s aisle quickly purchasing two different types of tests. I
wanted to make sure they both read the same result. I checked out
at the self-checkout line and made my way into the bathroom. I had
to know immediately. I couldn’t wait the twenty minutes it took to
get back home. I opened up both boxes and skimmed the directions.
They both said the same, pee on the stick and wait five to ten
minutes. Hovering over the toilet seat I peed on stick number one
and then stick number two. I knew this was going to be the longest
ten minutes of my life. I checked my watch and it read 9:25 a.m.
Okay, Leila you can wait ten minutes, you are not that
impatient.

I decided to text Nicole.
She was the only one I was going to tell about this. I knew my
mother would have the same reaction as Garrett and I didn’t want to
hear it from her either.

Me—

Hey! Just wanted to let
you know I just peed on two pregnancy test sticks. ;-)

As I sat in the bathroom
stall waiting for her response my phone rang. I looked down and
smiled. I hit the answer button and heard.

“YOU’RE
PREGGERS!”

I began to laugh
uncontrollably. “I said I was taking a test! I don’t know if I am
pregnant or not. I have to sit here in the bathroom stall at the
grocery store until the test gives me a plus or minus.”

“Eeew, why are you in the
bathroom at the grocery store?” Nicole asked.

“Because I rode my bike
into town and I couldn’t wait the twenty minutes it took to get
back home,” I laughed. “Look, I wouldn’t get your hopes up too much
the doctor said it could take up to a year.”

“I know you are knocked up,
I can feel it. Garrett has been fucking you silly hasn’t
he?”

I laughed, “Let’s just say
he hasn’t gone very long without sex.”

“Oh my God! You guys are
going to be parents. I think I’m going to cry.”

“Oh, please don’t cry. Then
you are going to make me cry,” I begged her.

“What time did you take the
test?” She asked.

“At 9:25.”

“And what time is it
now?”

“It’s,” I looked down at my
watch. “Oh God. . . It is time,” I said nervously. “Nicole, I’m
scared. I don’t want to look.”

“What are you scared about?
You are married to the most wonderful guy on the face of the
planet. Well, besides Michael,” she laughed. “You’re living in
freaking paradise and your husband makes a damn good living which
means you don’t even need to work.” She paused for a minute waiting
for my response. “So what’s the problem?”

She was completely right
there was no reason for me to be worried about having a baby. I had
the perfect life.

“Okay, I’m going to look,”
I said taking a deep breath. I picked up the first test and saw a
very faint plus sign and my heart skipped a beat. I then picked up
the second test and clear as day it was a plus sign. “Oh my fucking
God.”

“What? Leila! Will you
freaking tell me!” Nicole yelled.

“I’m pregnant,” I
whispered.

I then heard the loudest
scream I had ever heard. I quickly pulled the phone from my ear,
but I could still hear her screaming like a crazy person. I
couldn’t help but laugh as I gently rubbed my belly. Relief,
excitement and nervousness washed over me. How was I going to tell
Garrett? I needed the perfect way.

“Nicole!” I yelled into the
phone. “Will you please stop screaming.”

“Oh my God! I just can’t
believe it,” she said over and over again.

“Will you stop saying that
and listen to me. I need to come up with an idea on how to tell
Garrett. Stop talking and think!” I said forcefully.

“Okay, let’s think,” she
said. “Hhmm. Oh! I know. Go buy a #1 Daddy shirt and wear it when
he comes home from work.”

“That’s a great idea!
Nicole, you are a fucking genius,” I said smiling. “Alright, let me
let you go so I can see if I can find a place that sells shirts
like that or a place that can make one. I promise I will text you
later after I tell him.”

“I’ll talk to you later,
Momma,” she laughed.

I was still a little
shocked at the results, but thrilled nonetheless. I slipped the
pregnancy tests into my bag and headed to the front of the store to
ask the cashier if she knew of a store. She directed me to a little
boutique a few minutes down the road that sold high end baby
clothes, cribs and maternity clothing.

I hopped on my bike and
peddled down the street until I saw the sign for Le Bebe Boutique.
I walked in and instantly the store had the calming effect. There
was a faint hint of lavender in the air and soft lullabies playing
in the background. I definitely didn’t belong here, and I was
skeptical they carried what I was looking for. From behind a
clothing rack I heard, “Hello, welcome to Le Bebe Boutique. Can I
help you find anything?”

“Hi,” I smiled...
“Actually, yes. I am looking for a #1 Daddy T-shirt or something
like that. I just found out I am pregnant, and I want to surprise
my husband when he gets home tonight.”

“Congratulations, that is
so great,” the sales clerk said kindly. “We actually only have a
few left. The owner has decided not to carry them
anymore.”

“Oh, that is wonderful. I
rode my bike into town and I don’t think I can go any further
today.”

The clerk brought me to the
clearance rack and pulled out the few shirts she had left. I looked
at the sizes and since it was for me to wear I opted for the small.
“The small will be great.”

“Would you be interested in
purchasing a What to Expect When you are Expecting book? It is one
of our best sellers.”

“Yes, that would be great.”
I was smiling from ear to ear. The fact that I was actually
pregnant set in, and I was excited to be purchasing a pregnancy
book. I planned on taking this home curling up on the couch and
reading it.

The cashier rang me up for
the shirt and book giving me a few samples of baby magazines. I
thanked her for her help and headed home.

Once I got home, I made
myself a salad for lunch and curled up on the couch. The one thing
I was really missing in Hawaii was Molly. My mom agreed to keep her
at her house since the flight was so long, and we were uncertain,
how long we were going to be here. Molly was always my couch buddy
and boy, I could use her right now. As I thumbed through the book,
I felt my eyes getting heavy, and I gave into my sleepiness. The
next thing I knew I heard Garrett calling for me, “Babe! Where are
you?”

I looked around in complete
panic. How long had I been sleeping? I guess that bike ride really
wore me out, but I remembered reading before I fell asleep that
women during the first trimester are often very tired. “I’m in the
living room,” I said sleepily.

“Hey Babe, is everything
okay? I tried to call you a few times but you didn’t answer,”
Garrett said and he sat next to me on the couch rubbing my
leg.

I quickly tried to hide the
book from him so he wouldn’t see it, “Yeah, I’m fine. I took a ride
into town today and I guess it made me tired,” I said
yawning.

He gently felt my forehead
with his hand. “Are you feeling okay? You look really
exhausted.”

“Yes, I am feeling fine,
just that bike ride really wiped me out,” I said giving him a peck
on the cheek. “Let me up, I have to go to the bathroom, and then I
have a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?” He said
excitedly. “Is it you naked in our bed?”

I turned to him laughing.
“Now how would that be a surprise? You have that almost every day.
Why don’t you go take your work stuff off and I will meet you in
our room,” I said winking at him.

“You gotta
deal.”

I waited for him to enter
our bedroom, and then I tiptoed back out into the kitchen to grab
my bag that had the T-shirt. I quietly walked back into the living
room to retrieve the book and then into the guest bathroom to
change my shirt. I slipped my sundress off and the T-shirt on. It
was a little big, but not too bad. It would be a perfect sleeping
shirt, that's if Garrett let me keep it on.

I walked into our room and
heard the shower running from our master bathroom. Perfect, this
gives me enough time to figure out how I want to tell him. I tried
to figure out the best way. Do I lie in bed reading the pregnancy
book? Do I lay seductively on the bed hoping he reads the shirt? Do
I sit on the edge of the bed and wait for him to walk out? Man,
there were too many decisions. I heard the water shut off, and I
knew I only had a few minutes to make up my mind. I decided to go
with the laying on the bed reading the book.