Broken Hart (The Hart Family) (22 page)

As she’s hanging the phone up I can hear Dante shout, “No! Don’t hang up with her. Please Brooke!”

The click tells me that she ignored his request, and I am glad of the assurance that she won’t tell him where I am.

Blowing out a frustrated breath, I flop back on to the bed and stare at the ceiling.

This situation is a fucking mess.  What the hell am I going to do?  It’s not even been twenty-four hours and already I miss him so much, it hurts.  The past weeks have been all but unbearable. 

I don’t know what the answer to all of this is.  I love him.  Soul deep, heart pounding and weak in the knees love.  Being away isn’t going to change that.  Quitting isn’t going to change that.

I want to see him at the end of a church aisle.  I want to grow large with children we created together in love.  I want to wake up and see his face every day.  I want to laugh with him, cry with him, love and support him in good times and bad.  I want us to celebrate our fiftieth anniversary.

It’s him and only him for me.  The idea of being with someone else is repellant.  I realize this isn’t going to go away.  I can’t run or hide from this.  Short of getting amnesia, there is nothing that will make me forget how much I love him.

I wish there was something, anything that I could do to make him see, but I can think of nothing.

I’ve no sooner had that thought than I realize something.  Both times that we ended things, I played it off and ran.  I didn’t even try to fight for us.  I put my hands up and surrendered, not wanting to embarrass myself by letting him know how much I care. 

I realize now that by running, I actually took the easier option.  That bothers me, because I’ve never been afraid of anything before.  Has my running given him the feeling that I don’t think he’s worth fighting for?

What if I stopped running away and went back to him and showed him that we could do this, together? 

I’ll never know if I don’t try, and now that I’ve realized that, I know that I’m going to do it.  I need him to know that he’s it, that we’re worth fighting for.

Rising from the bed, I repack my bag and lay my clothes out for the following morning. 

I’m going back to Dante.  I can’t surrender until I know that I did everything that I could.  If it doesn’t work, at least I can walk away knowing that I gave it my best shot.

Lying down on the bed, I curl on my side and stare out at the Las Vegas skyline as I formulate my plan. 

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

I was so excited to get home that I was up and on the road by six.  The entire drive has been a breeze and I’m parking in my driveway just after eleven.

After taking my luggage in to the house, I quickly make a call and book myself in to the local spa for tomorrow to get a massage, full waxing from my eyebrows to my ankles, color and cut for my hair and a manicure and pedicure. 

Once that’s accomplished, I reset my thermostat from the vacation setting,
and then
got online to cancel my mail hold.

It takes me almost half an hour to locate my iPhone.  I call it several times from the house phone but it never rings.  I search everywhere, finally finding it underneath my bed. It’s dead, so I plug it in.  I know it will take a few minutes to charge up enough for me to be able to turn on, so I use that time to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and drink a glass of milk.

Wandering back to my room, I flop on to my bed and grab the phone from my nightstand.  My eyes widen in shock when I see that I’ve got thirty-four missed calls. 

Brooke accounts for twelve of the calls and messages. Her messages start out okay, but then escalate over the hours as she can’t get a hold of me.   It’s very tough emotionally to hear her so unglued. 

There are five messages from Damien, five from Spencer, five from Delilah and three from Dominique.  Their messages are progressively frantic as well. 

The last four are from Dante.  There is no build up with his messages.  All of them are equally desperate and frantic.

The first is short.  “Sabrina! Jesus Sabrina.  Where the hell have you gone?  Please call one of us.  Please.”

The second is longer, but more frantic.  “Oh god…  Please. Sabrina.  Please be okay.  You would never ever not answer a call from Brooke and she’s out of her mind. Please.  Please be okay.”

The third is angry.  “Fuck Sabrina.  FUCK!  Why would you leave like this?  You should never have left.  Why would you do this?  If anything has happened to you… Damn you!  Why did you go?”

The last message is almost more than I can take.  “Sabrina.  Oh god, Sabrina.  This is my fault.  If anything has happened to you, it’s on me.  I did this.  You should never have let me touch you.  I’d do anything to turn back to a time before I made you so unhappy.  Before I disgusted you so much that you left.  I’m praying that you’re okay.”  His last words are particularly hard to deal with.  “I’m so fucking scared Rina.”  As the message ends, I hear him let out a sob.

Closing my eyes, I hug my pillow to me and succumb to the tears I held in while I listened to his messages.  I never meant to scare anybody, and it hurts that I did this to them by running away.

I’m just getting my breathing under control when I have an epiphany.  Sitting up like a shot, I smack my forehead.  Holy shit!  Here I’ve been thinking that I’m going to need to make Dante fall in love with me, but the messages tell their own truth. 

He already is.

Suddenly it’s all so clear.  The
signs have been there all along.  Why didn't I realize this before?

Realizing that he's in love with me is a huge comfort. I hug this knowledge to me tight, wrapping it around my heart and letting it fill me with courage for what’s to come.
He’s scared and he’s convinced he can’t do this, but the biggest part of the battle is already won.  I’m inside of his heart now, just like he is in mine.

Now I just need to make him realize it himself
and
get him to
say it out loud.  He needs to embrace the feelings and act on them so that we can begin our life together.  We need to move on from being two halves to being a unit.

I came home determined, but scared.  Realizing that he loves me takes away all of my fear. 

My strength now fortified and absolute, I head to the bathroom and get myself ready for the day. 

Once I’m ready, I head out to the mall.  I’m almost giddy with joy, floating on a cloud of love. 

I spend the next few hours shopping up a storm.  I start by purchasing the sexiest lingerie that I can lay my hands on before I set out to buy all new work clothes. 

My new skirts and dresses have shorter hemlines.  Not too short, but it will definitely draw his attention.  Each outfit will showcase the legs that I now realize make him crazy with lust.  

Paired with the beautiful garter belts and stockings I just bought, it’s guaranteed to blow his mind.  I can hardly wait to rock his world.

After finishing up at the mall, I headed in to West Hollywood to The Pleasure Chest.  I’m definitely kicking this up several notches, but I’m game to try almost anything with Dante.

Wandering through the store, I’m surprised by how much product catches my eye.  Before I know it I’ve picked out Japanese drip candles, pleasure feathers, silk entangle ties, dirty dice, nipple nibbler cream, lelo luna balls, lube, honey dust, body paint, body frosting, an eye mask, riding crop, under the bed restraint system, handcuffs, vibrating underwear, a bullet vibrator, two anal plugs and a variety of erotic movies.  Oh yes, things are about to get real interesting.

My last stop of the day was Frederick’s of Hollywood.  I’d bought some fabulous lingerie earlier at the mall, but what I wanted now was some over the top, come fuck me lingerie.

They’ve got exactly what I’m looking for and I buy a ton of crazy sexy lingerie.  The first thing I pick is a pearl and chains teddy.  It’s decadent and totally sinful.  After that I pick out a crochet open sides teddy, a pleated mesh teddy, a lacy suspender teddy, a caged leaf teddy, a Brigitte babydoll, a satin and lace up babydoll and a ruffled flyaway babydoll.

I’ve now got everything I need and then some to make my plan wildly pleasurable for us both.  I’m so keyed up from the shopping alone that I come within seconds of going to him now just so I can take the edge off.

Luckily, I’ve got more self-
control than that.  The payoff of waiting is going to be amazing, I just know it.

Back in the car again, I’m just picking up my phone to make a call when my cell rings. Checking the caller ID, I answer via the hands free once I see that it’s Brooke.

“Hey Brooke, I was just about to call you!  What’s up?”

“Not much.  I was just calling to check in on you.  Well… and also to tell you that Dante spent over an hour last night begging us to tell him where you were.  He’s called me four times today asking me to please change my mind and give up the information.  I’ve talked to Damien twice, and he told me Dante is so far up his ass begging for information that Damien is about to throttle him.”

I chuckle to myself.  Now that I see how much he cares, it could not be more obvious.  While it’s upsetting to know that he’s upset, it’s also a necessary part of the plan.  He needs to be blasted out of his comfort zone.

“Brooke, I’m back in LA.  Can you meet me at the house tonight?  I want to talk to you.”

“Wow that was fast!  I can totally tell by the sound of your voice that you are up to something.  I can be at the house around seven.  Want me to bring dinner?”

I can’t help but laugh.  My sister knows me so well.  “Yes, bring some grub.  But make sure you don’t tell anyone else that I’m back!  I will explain when you get home.  I can’t wait to see you.”

After saying our goodbyes, I drive the rest of the way home with Guns n’ Roses at full blast as I sing along.

Once I’m home I make four trips from the car to the house as I take in all of my new purchases.  It takes me a while to get everything put away and I’m just finishing when I hear Brooke come through the front door.

“Rina get your ass to the table! I’m here with food and I’m starving girl!”

Laughing, I make my way through the house to the kitchen. After giving her a big hug, I get out dishes and cutlery while Brooke unloads the food.  She’s brought lemon chicken with pasta and cheesecake for dessert.

Pouring us each a glass of red wine, I sit down next to her and we dig in.  We’re silent for a few minutes as we eat, but as we both start filling up we slow down a bit.

“Alright, spill it.  You were gone for less than twenty-four hours which tells me you’ve decided... something.  Tell me what the deal is.”