Broken Souls (7 page)

Although the project
had looked daunting at first, after a few licks of paint here and there, and a few trips to the landfill, the place had begun to take form quite quickly. They had managed to transform the open plan kitchen and living area from its garish colour scheme of lime green and pink, to warm and neutral tones of brown and beige. Cupboard door fronts and handles had been replaced in the kitchen with a more contemporary white gloss finish, immediately bringing the place into the modern era.

The
unidentified stained and ripped sofa had gone next, making way for the vintage, brown leather sofa that now sat in the centre of the room facing a small gas fireplace. Two similar armchairs were later placed on either side of the fire along with a flat screen television that sat on a low levelled shelving unit in the corner.

There wasn't enough room to swing a cat, let alone provide living space for two young girls. But, despite this, they had made it
work.

“
Oh, Gabby,” Ashley sighed, burying her face into the duvet cover she still clutched in her hands. “I can't take this...” She started to whimper into the covers as her thoughts shifted back to Marco. “I think I’m falling for your brother,” she whispered, recalling the way her mind and body had reacted whenever he was near. “I don’t know what to do. Do I just ignore everything and focus on what I have with Ben? What do I do about Marco?”

She wasn't entirely sure
of what she wanted from him, but she knew for definite that it was no longer friendship. His friendly words and endearments over recent years had cut into her deeply and helped to strengthen the connection growing between them.

“
Cara, you are worth so much more than you realise.”

“
My sister adores you, bella. I couldn't have wished for a better friend to support her.”

“
You must come out to Milan in the summer, so that we can finally meet in person.”

Marco's
words whizzed around her brain as she struggled to think straight. She wanted to know what he was thinking. Did he think that she was just another little sister in his life?

Her curiosity was starting to run away with her.

~

Later that evening, Ashley curled up on the sofa in front of th
e television once again, which was starting to become a familiar and reassuring place to be right now. Behind closed doors and windows with nobody to bother but herself. It was exactly what she wanted. Although, she hadn’t
technically
been on her own.

A
ll day she had tried to block out Marco, but it hadn’t been any use. She had continuously thought about him and wondered what he was doing. Was he organising Gabby's funeral? Who was he with? Did he even know where he was going?

Ashley couldn’t help but worry
about him. He was alone in a large and unfamiliar place, which was scary for someone that didn't necessarily know London very well, or the dodgy areas that were connected to it. She worried thinking about whether he had wandered into the wrong part of the city, or if he was lying mugged and beaten somewhere.

“
La, la, la! Think of something else,” Ashley said, shaking her head with annoyance at her own thoughts. She wasn't going to think about it. There had been ample opportunity for him to invite her to join him today, but he hadn’t. It was his own fault if anything happened to him.

Trying to clear
her mind of all things Marco related, Ashley stood and walked towards the living room window. She had ordered a pizza almost forty minutes ago, but it hadn't yet arrived. Usually when she looked out of the window it triggered some form of coincidental luck as the delivery driver often appeared. Today however, aside from a car parked every couple of hundred yards, the street below looked virtually empty.

“
Always a first,” Ashley murmured as a loud knock sounded on the front door. She jumped backwards slightly startled. She hadn't expected the deliveryman to arrive without calling first. There was a buzzer and intercom system installed throughout the building, which lately people were not making use of. The main door was continuously being left open, allowing people to pass through and neglect use of the callbox on the wall. “Just coming,” she called, after her heart had managed to recover.

She
unlocked the front door and studied the teenager in front. Even with a pizza box in front of his face, she could easily tell that it wasn't her usual delivery driver. “You must be new,” she smiled, opening the door and resting her arm against the wood.

“
Yeah, first week on the job,” he replied, passing the box over to her. He kept his head down as he fumbled in his pocket for her printed receipt. Finally pulling it out, he lifted his head with a smile that was short lived. “Fuck! What's that?” he asked, his lips curling in disgust. “That’s minging!” He pointed a finger towards her face and wrinkled his nose.

The colour drained from Ashley’s
cheeks as it dawned on her that she hadn't used any cover-up today, meaning that her birthmark was now repulsively visible.

Curling her toes into
the carpeted floor beneath her feet, she fought against the building nausea that threatened to spill from her mouth at any second. “I-I...” She tried to speak, but her voice was weak and fragile.

“
Seriously... I'd consider getting that shit fixed. Ain't nobody gonna come near you with that,” he said as he continued to verbally insult her on the threshold of her own home.

Ashley needed to move away from the door, but she couldn't
find the strength. Her feet were rooted in place and she struggled to find the energy. Instead, she continued to endure the abusive comments and insults fired from the young boy's mouth. Each insult was another step towards her being pushed closer to the edge again.

After all, who would want to be with somebody as disgusting as her?

“
Che cazzo
!” The deep and velvety sound of Marco’s voice suddenly filled the narrow hallway. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?” he yelled, grabbing hold of the boy's collar.

Ashley heard a
nervously garbled response before an explosion of aggressive Italian and English spilled from Marco's lips. She watched as he pulled the boy towards the staircase, the anger practically radiating from his body like a radioactive glow.

“
Don't you
ever
speak to a woman like that again,” he roared, opening the stairwell door to push the boy through.

Ashley's
body began to tremble as the need to vomit continued to push up from her stomach into her throat. Tears blurred her eyes as her emotions crashed spectacularly around her.

She was
nothing
...

She
was
ruined
...

“
Cara?
” She felt his hands lightly cupping her face, his thumbs gently caressing her cheeks. “
Cara,
are you alright?”

His touch burned her skin... Instinctively, she flinched out of his grasp. She didn't want him to touch her. She wasn't good enough for him; she would never be good enough. Her canvas had been damaged badly, so badly in fact, that she knew nobody would see past it.

“Please don’t come near me,” she choked, dropping the pizza box to the floor.

Marco dropped his hands to the side of his body.
“Why did you stand and listen to that, Ashley?” He waited for his answer as the tears continued to slide over her cheeks. “Did you actually believe the shit coming out of that little bastard's mouth?”

“
It's true,” she whispered, burying her face into her shoulder. She could no longer look at him. He merely felt sorry for her she continued to tell herself.

Closing the door behind him, Marco
stepped forward and lifted his hands up to her face again. “
Bella.
”

She flinched from his endearment knowing that she was anything but beautiful.
“Stop it,” she pleaded.

“
Bella
,” he whispered hoarsely, his hands tilting her face upwards. “You are so much more than you realise.”

Her
heartbeat increased at the recognition of his words. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again as a smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

Was he teasing her? She wasn't honestly sure, but she wished he would stop.
It wasn't fair what he was doing to her. Her feelings were a complete shambles and she didn’t need the added pressure of his seemingly harmless flirting on top of it all.

“
Why are you doing this to me? Don't you understand that I am exactly what he said? I-I'm...” She paused to swallow the rising bile in her throat. “D-Disgusting,” she whimpered, trying to avoid his stare.

She felt Marco's
hold tighten as he kept her face firmly in place with his hands. His eyes hardened and held her captive against her will. There was nowhere for her to escape.

“
Look at me,
cara
,” he demanded gruffly, his fingers lightly jolting her chin. “You are beautiful on the inside and out... Your birthmark does not affect the beauty that your soul possesses.”

“
B-But—”

She didn't have
chance to reply as Marco lowered his head and captured her lips in a sweet kiss that set fire to her insides. Heat seared throughout her body as his mouth fought to gently dominate her.

Being
stubborn, Ashley tried to resist the kiss as much as possible. Playing it safe, she continued to keep her lips together despite the gentle coaxing she received from his tongue. But she wouldn't give in. She knew that they were both hurt and seeking comfort in each other, but she just couldn’t bring herself round to it.

She almost
tasted victory as Marco pulled away and fixed her with a look of warning. “Kiss me,” he growled across her lips. “I want you to kiss me, Ashley.”

With her face still confined within the limits of
his hands, she found it difficult to shake her head. “No,” she replied, placing her hands against his chest. “I don't want this,” she lied as her brain screamed at her to accept his offer.

She saw his tongue dart out to wet his
now parted lips. “Why have you gone shy,
cara
?” he whispered, arching a suspicious eyebrow at her. “Is there anything wrong with wanting to kiss and be close to a beautiful girl?” he asked, lowering his lips once again until they were almost touching.

“
Stop this,” Ashley practically begged. She wasn’t sure if this was all just a mind game. He wouldn’t be interested in her, there was no way on this earth that she would meet his standards. He was just upset and using their closeness as a way to comfort his own growing grief.

“
Bella,
do you want me?”

“
W-What?”

“
I'm asking you if you want me.”

Taken back by the bluntness and honesty of his question, Ashley struggled to give a coherent answer. She wanted to be honest, but didn’t know how it would come across to him. How would he handle her honest feelings if she told him that things were shifting between them?

Regardless of what she said, s
he knew that her answer would have an impact on his already inflated ego. The man loved to have women falling at his feet. It was part of the charm surrounding the infamous Marco Conti. Women everywhere wanted to have what he gave... Did she really want to become another notch to his bedpost? The answer was no. She didn’t want to be the one night stand that would soon be a forgotten memory. She deserved more than that. Ben deserved more than that from her.

“
Well?” Marco lowered his head and nipped gently at her lower lip. “What do you say?”

Minutes of silence
passed between them before she replied, “I don't want you, Marco.”

Her heart felt heavy in her chest as she stepped back from their connection. There was no way that she was going to go sleep with him when she still had Ben waiting for her answer. She had to establish her feelings quickly before she got herself into hot water. Would she deny Ben for the chance of one night with Marco? It was the decision she had to make now that he had made his intentions clear.

Ashley's body trembled as a cocky grin spread across Marco’s lips. “Have it your way,
bella
,” he replied, dropping his hands to his side. “I'm going to get an early night if you don't mind?” He nodded towards the sofa effectively dismissing her from his sight.

Her eyes widened
with disbelief as Marco sidestepped her, picked up the discarded pizza box, and then sat down on the sofa. He grabbed the television remote and switched off the program she was watching. Clearly, she had been banished whether she wanted to go or not.

“Goodnight,” Ashley mumbled, padding into her bedroom.

She closed the door
behind her and leaned back against the wood. A long sigh escaped her lips as she slowly slid along the door's length towards the floor. Hitting the ground with a slight bump, she tilted her head back and closed her eyes.